And the winner is...

Congratulations  link here> BEAST

Winner of the Fall 2010 

Freakin Green Elf Shorts !

The Beast certainly "upped the stakes on the compo entries".

May he Lord them over one and all with pomp and circumstance. Amen.

 If Old Knudsen were King

 and Miss Mj were Queen! 

MAY THE Freakin Green Elf SHORTS BE WITH YOU!

UPDATE: Freakin Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition

IT IS ON!

The general idea of the 'Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts' Caption Competition is to post a photo of yourself on your blog, wearing "The Shorts".


Whoever comes up with the best caption wins "The Shorts".

The current holder of "The Shorts" then sends the winner "The Shorts" and a few souvenirs from their country.

So here we go, caption this...

The winner to be announced @ Midnight, on Saturday, October 30th.


This is actually my #700th post and I am thrilled that it will be bouncing around the intertubes forever proclaiming the winner of the Freakin Green Elf Shorts (Fall 2010).



I could use a little help here and so far the captions that have resonated avec moi and my secret panel are:

"Freak it to Beaver"
(Kapitano)




"While wearing Green Elf Shorts patients may experience, Swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue, sexual hallucinations, uncontrolled sexual desires, change in sexual orientation, spontaneous sequential hermaphroditism, an erection lasting more than 4 hours, absence of orgasm, erectile dysfunction, inability to attain an erection, decreased libido, absence of ejaculation, decreased estrogen, testosterone production, enlarged prostate, enlarged labia, impotence, frigidity, lack of sexual excitement, aversion of sexual contact, painful intercourse, involuntary spasm of vaginal wall muscles, vaginal dryness, inability to feel aroused, sexual trauma, vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis, inability to relax vaginal muscles, burning pain on the vulva or in the vagina, sexual trauma, and sudden sexual death.
Remove Green Elf Shorts and call your doctor if you suffer any of these persistent adverse reactions."(ayeM8y)



"Everyone fled through the Canadian woodland when Celine Dion started singing..."
(Scarlet Blue)

"A Nightmare on Elf Street"
(S.I.D.)



"Something about that DIY-destillery was quiet wrong."
(63mago)

"Armed only with a bootleg edition of Photoshop, Coppens takes aim (downwards and slightly to the left) at the record for sheer mass of Jungian archetype-images utilized in one frame."
(First Nations)

"Is that a fish in your hand or are you just happy to see me? "
(Boxer)"

".....and that children, is why Uncle Donn is not allowed to visit anymore."
(S.I.D.)

"A tame piece of fish is always preferable to a wild beaver with teeth."
(Damien Oz)

"and don't it make my green shorts blue"
(Scarlet Blue)



"and then suddenly, kewpie realized where he was".
(designing wally)

"A nice big beaver and the smell of fish - that usually means 'good times'!"
(tom909)

"Donn (with 2 n's) bravely tries to save his country's national fish from the ravages of Al Qaida's WMCD (Weapon of Mass Canadian Destruction), but is tripped up by a traitorous home-grown terrorist."
(Rimpy)

"Donn should have known better than to ask the wild beaver for a threesome. It recruited the Taliban to make sure he never came back in the woods."
(Roses)

"Joseph and Mary watched in amazement as the 'real' last supper took place right before their innocent Canadian eyes."
(Awaiting)

"Flashback 1982;
Donn the dwarf auditions for The Safety Dance"
(hayward)

"Once again, Donn has indulged in cold pizza and pickles before bedtime.At least this time there were no skunks in his nightmare."
(LDahl)

(BEAST)














Feel free to express your righteous indignation and throw a hissy-fit, vote for one of these, channel your inner altruist to champion another competitor, or better yet, stop beeyotchin' and add a new one...there is still plenty of time before Midnight Saturday Oct 30th.


That being said, the clock is ticking and somebody is going to have the FGES and some cool crap from Whateverpeg; (Canada's hotbed of iniquity, romance & intrigue) by Christmas!!

So let's get down to bi'ness!
WHAT SAY YOU!?

FREAKIN GREEN ELF SHORTS 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I announce the arrival of the Freakin Green Elf Shorts.

The friendly FREAKIN GREEN ELF SHORTS competition began way back in 2004 in Ohio, and since it's ominous inception, the actual shorts have been shuttled off to exotic places like New Zealand, Ireland, Salt Lake City, Switzerland, Toronto, Denmark, Texas, and several stays throughout jolly olde England.

Now I shall prepare my own visual image, which shall then be mercilessly assailed with rude, hilarious, yet strangely insightful remarks, with mischief aforethought, by cybervolk from all walks of life, both foreign, domestic, and from parts unknown. Hilarity and mayhem shall ensue.

Click HERE for a concise historical outline of the event prepared by the incomparable MJ of Infomaniac fame, who just so happened to have won the event in 2007.


I was fortunate enough to win the photo-quip competition back in 2009, and for those of you who know what the hell I am talking aboot, Cyberpete filled the box with loads of treats from Denmark.

I am the fourth proud Canadian to have captured the prize..
a moment please, I'm a little verklempt...
and I look upon this honour with humility, shock, and awe.


This truly is a global event, and though it is not suitable for children, the faint of heart, weak of mind, or uptight ninnys, I encourage you to tell all of your friends about it, unless of course they're way funnier than you are. HELLO!? 

I look forward to some exciting wordplay, foreplay, and fairplay. Prepare to witness a vigorous display of intellectual vigor and Wildian wit rarely seen on the electronic Interwebs.

Please plan on participating and making this the best event ever.


In closing, may I present for your viewing pleasure, a gallery of some of the characters who have lived the dream.

You get the idea.

Okay, give me a few days to catch my breath from all the excitement, properly self medicate, get my affairs in order, and then let the asshattery begin!