Some Remote Pile of Rubble

Misanthropy is the general hatred, distrust or disdain of the human species or human nature. It should be noted that this doesn't preclude one from enjoying the company of and even dare I say it, loving individuals. That being said, one of the worst kept secrets in the world is that India and Pakistan, "two enemies that have already fought three wars since 1947", are staging a trial war zone in Kashmir.

Westerners should be pay more attention to this rarely reported upon "Kashmiri Independence" conflict because this remote pile of rocks in South Asia would seem to be the most likely and strategically convenient (as far away from "us" as possible)  location for modern humans to try a limited nuclear weapons exchange and see what happens? Let's face it, BIG Oil and it's military subsidiaries won't ever risk entombing all of the precious, Middle Eastern oil under a desert vaporized into a sea of glass.

Many corporatized military analysts are whispering fanciful notions into the ears of lobby-fed politicians and CEOs detailing epic scenarios of how poor, innocent, Western (Corporations) Civilization would prevail by overcoming the tribulations thrust upon them by some senseless, reckless, selfish, Indo-Pakistani conflict and its subsequent global Nuclear Winter...talk about not only eliminating the competition in the global marketplace, but also enjoying a judgement-free alibi, and positive exposure to some very exciting marketing and future brand building opportunities.

But there is more to this world than money, politics, and religion, and one cannot ignore the dark side in this equation because not only could the secular side of the Powers That Be sell this as a "wasn't-our-fault" war to it's constituents, but the One True church would also gently dismiss any responsibility for the hell-bound plight of those poor, godforsaken, Asians because technically most of the 2.5 Billion souls were non-believers; Hindu-Indians, Muslim-Pakistanis, and worst of all, I mean most tragic, those collaterally damaged Chinese were Atheists!

Modern heathens tend to forget that "many here among us" believe that the New (Christian) World is not only God's favorite part of the entire universe, but it is also the very zenith and purpose of human history in its entirety. Therefore it stands to reason that The West would inherit the toasty warm, freshly vacated, soil of the "New 'Old' World" after it was "left behind", as the inevitable reward of some providential manifestation of Destiny.

Schwarzenegger Schadenfreude

If an Austrian Oak falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

 

The other day I stumbled a upon a Youtubian clip from the film "Pumping Iron" and it made me think about the very public downfall of Argh-argh-arghnold Schwarzenegger,
the "Austrian Oak".

Like a lot of other testosterone fueled teenagers back in the 70s, I was in awe of Ahnold's uber-masculinity. He was the ultimate posterboy for the Bodybuilding craze that Joe Weider was cultivating and Ahnold was the dude who sold it to the world.

Before the 70s there had been hypermasculine celebrities  and movie stars like Johnny "Tarzan" Weismuller. They counter balanced the female counterparts like Jane Mansfield. Today we still have a great demand to satisfy our voyeuristic appreciation of over-the-top physiques and we have stars with superbodies like  Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Sofia Vergara.  

as if

Most of us could never attain Ahnold's level of physicality because of the genetic limitations and fear of taking steroids, but the greatest impediment was the amount of physical labour required...it was just way too much work.

It was inevitable that Ahnold would appear on the big screen and from Conan to Predator and Terminator, he became the BIGGE$T box office draw in the world and according to Box Office Mojo, his adjusted lifetime gross amounts to nearly..wait for it...
THREE BILLION DOLLARS! http://boxofficemojo.com/people/chart/?id=arnoldschwarzenegger.htm


He parlayed this notoriety into a post cinematic political career. He hitched his wagon to the mystique of American Royalty and married into the Kennedy clan. This secured some serious credibility and piggybacked the zeitgeist of celebrity worship, and became the Governator of "Kaleefornyah".

Now of course the revelation of his indescretions and illegitimate child with one of his domestic servants has torpedoed the magic and he is in the midst of a very public scandalous divorce. How the mighty Oak has fallen.

Last night I watched "Who's Sorry Now" on the CBC's Doc zone: http://www.cbc.ca/doczone/episode/whos-sorry-now.html 

"This episode explores big marquee moments of regret from public figures to take a sharp and timely look at the art, spin and billion-dollar business behind The Big Apology. The recent boom in public apologies is taking place against a backdrop where powerful people and interests have less and less privacy. With a mobile phone camera in every pocket and an internet audience instantly riveted to postings of fresh scandals, it‘s harder than ever for public figures to hide mistakes and misdeeds.   
Inevitably when a crisis comes, an elite brand of "reputation managers" or "crisis control" specialists springs into action. They take control of the message by spinning the apology in an effort to "protect the brand" and salvage the image of the philandering politician, the cheating sports idol, or corrupt CEO. More often than not it all goes wrong."


Our society's obssession with celebrity has collided with the 24/7 365 world of the internet and it's Open Season on famous people. Our pathetic inclination to feel pleasure at the misfortune of others (Schadenfreude) is a deeply ingrained psychological need to measure up to others...and our prehistoric brain is hardwired to make us victims of our own insecurity.

Social validation increases the levels of dopamine and serotonin in the brain, so we subconsciously strive to find ways to even out the playing field. Since many of us believe that we, the great unwashed hordes of workaday nobodies living in anonymity, allow celebrities the privilege of living these amazing wealthy lives, because we finance their fabulous lives by buying tickets or voting for them, so we think that they OWE us...BIG TIME!

The media has capitalized on our natural pre-programmed-pre-occupation with social grooming. "Humans live in a constant duality between how we see ourselves and how others see us."

 Like our Ape cousins and ancestors, we evolved big brains that freed up a lot of time from food finding and sentenced us to the majority of out time being kidnapped by social grooming. Now this natural obssession has spun right out of control to the detriment of our participation in political and social activism..things which actually affect our lives.

It's sad that we need to invent and create heroes. If we spent more time concentrating on our own lives, we'd realize that the real heroes are the people we know, who actually affect your life. We also need to appreciate that the great unwashed hordes of workaday nobodies living in anonymity aren't looking at our lives under a microscope.
We should all be ridiculously overjoyed that when saplings like us fall in the forest, nobody is watching and it doesn't make a sound.

Celeb Stalking Canadian Style

Dear Mr. Mercer,

As you can see from the photographic evidence I was not-so-subtle 'aboot' lurking during your shoot yesterday @ The Forks in Whateverpeg.
I am SO kicking myself for not properly introducing myself and thanking you for your contributions.  

I am chalking it up to being a bit too 'Canadian' and not harassing a celeb. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Mercer 

I did however manage to summon a momentary bout of courage and request a quick pic and you were kind enough to accommodate a quickie with my wife who was absolutely thrilled!

I also mumbled a lackluster 'Happy Darwin Day' hoping to chat a bit, but I suspect that your hood muffled the sound and I know that you were trying to work. btw We had just watched you sloshing around the Bay of FUNdy in that jetboat.

Personally I think that you have the greatest job in Canada - http://www.rickmercer.com/ and you do not squander the opportunity to make us hewers of wood and drawers of water think 'aboot' what it means to be Canadian in the true Pearsonian sense of being Peacemaking eaters of Poutine...except for the fighting in Hockey thing which is the most obvious psychological leak in the national passive/aggressive psyche.

Most of my cyber-friends on Facebook and Blogger seem to be Merkins, Ozzies & Brits and they all especially enjoy your Talking With Americans bits. This year's Republican scapegoat offerings have been a godsend to the altar of Comedy. If only they weren't so frickin  scary. No child left behind my ass, now bananaman Ray (Atheist Nightmare) Comfort's "180" exposes young Merkins for not being able to pick Hitler out in a police lineup?

I can't help but notice how the interwebs has changed over the past few years. I'm particularly discouraged by the lack of focus and disintegrating level of concentration. The attention span & memory capacity of onliners is down to nanoseconds and the Powers That Be know it and use it to their advantage. SOPA is scary but everybody out there is LOOK SOMETHING SHINY ABOUT KIM KARDASHIAN!

I am concerned about everyone is being herded into the vortex of extremes..a fabricated forum of us or them/zero sum gain mentality that completely ignores the reality of the vast majority of the great unwashed being moderate in almost every part of their cosmology. The current Republican Candidate schmozzola is a perfect example. First of all, I'm embarrassed to admit that I know far more about the Republican Candidates than I do about the Canadian political landscape. Like all of the other boiling frogs, I'm suckered in by the outrageous uber- exposure of living next to the Elephant next door.

Like most Canadians I was deeply saddened by the death of Jack Layton..it was a real kick in the balls and a stab in the heart. The momentum and spirit of the 'Occupissed' insurrection dovetailed so perfectly with his ascent. It felt like the wind left the sails..much like 68 when Bobby and MLK were taken from the Americans..and then half the Boomers morphed from Hippies to Yuppies said the hell with it. 

In my heart of hearts I can understand how the average traditional person fears change, but like the proverbial boiling frogs the Conglomerates have submerged themselves in a pool of cognitive dissonance and tried to justify that the corporate lobbyist kidnapping of the political process is all for the better...give the 1%ers tax breaks and they'll create JOBS!

It's so out of control that Bill Moyers had to come back...he had a fantastic "HELLO!" interview with fallen-from-grace Bruce Bartlett this weekend.  http://billmoyers.com/segment/bruce-bartlett-on-where-the-right-went-wrong/ Mr. Bartlett also mentions how discouraging it is that people seem to be unable to read an entire magazine article and Moyers mentioned that people are unwilling to accept facts (the new "F" word) if they interfere with their belief-system...the age of compromise and forming an opinion based on facts seems doomed.

Okay You know all of this, I'm starting to ramble.
Listen I just wanted to thank you for stirring the pot so that some of the boiling frogs might get uncomfortable enough to jump out! Another byproduct of the corporatization of the lamestream media is that more and more of us ordinary citizens are relying on your type of program to cut through the bullshit and soften the truth about how screwed up the system is, with humour anchored by a huge dose of wtf common sense. 

So thank you. Hopefully you receive plenty of positive feedback.
I hope that you realize how much your efforts are appreciated, and keep up the good fight.
The next time I see you I'm going to give you a BIG hug!
Sincerely eh!,
Donn 

P.S. Let's hope that the 'Occupissed' Movement reaches the boiling frogs. Cheers

COME ON CANADA

http://www.fairvote.ca/en/Canadians-cheated-again-by-voting-system

REGAL DNA BEYOND REPAIR

DATELINE LONDON:

Following the recent trothing of Prince Willy Wales and Katty Kay, genetic scientists immediately sprang into action.

Newfound evidence of a once secret program which carefully monitors the breeding of aristocratic European families recently came to light.

Yesterday, around noon, several files were discovered by scavenging Government workers searching for food in the garbage bins behind the Freedom Of Information Bunker.

Members of Royalty are not bred for a specific skill or purpose other than to be entered into an ancient 'show' between Nations. Awards are generally based on conspicuous displays of wealth, but sometimes given to outgoing characters who have displayed outstanding, energetic acts of immorality.


From the files we learn that during the Middle Ages it became apparent that without fail, royal families produced offspring burdened with many undesirable attributes.

These traits ranged from simple undesirable character irregularities such as uncontrollable giggling, to despotic paranoia and delusions of grandeur.

One doctor, Lord Sinjin Tennisanyone, correctly deduced that this appalling condition was the direct result of over 800 years of unbridled inbreeding amongst the European Aristocracy.

In order to combat these terrible afflictions and maintain political stability, substitute eggmaidens were selected from asylums.

This selective breeding program was astonishingly successful and lasted well into the 20th Century.

However, once the Human Genome had been mapped, the Tennisanyone family, gatekeepers of the Royal basting and neutering program, introduced modern scientificky procedures in order to streamline the process and free-up their weekends.

These days all that is required to successfully create an aristocrat is a wee DNA sample from suitable donors most of which are still conveniently warehoused in asylums. 

A procedure that once required numerous bottles of Gin, scented candles, yards of velvet rope, and a tub of lard, can now be done in a matter of minutes.

The only constant still required is that the Princess or Queen must be either rendered unconscious or distracted with jewelry or shoes.

Here for the first time we can view the shocking photographic evidence of what could happen if scientists refused to intervene.

Exhibit A is unquestionably shocking. This is a computer generated image of what William and Harry would have looked like, had Charles been allowed to follow his own devices.

Exhibit B is another disturbing projection of the future progeny which Princes William and Harry would unleash if their severely compromised royal swimmers, floaters, twirlers and sinkers were allowed near an egg. 

As you can see, this remains a highly sensitive issue, and you didn't hear this from me, but a Mrs. Gwynyth Throatwarbler Sharpley of Thamesmead, is suspected of being harvested on four separate occasions.

So Mums the word eh?

ESCAPEONS OOT OF AFRICA

What am I missing? Oh yeah the link between Empirical Evidence and Belief! 

Before Darwin's theory 150 years ago Humans could be excused for believing in a magical supernatural cosmology wherein God plopped us down on the planet out of thin air....
and then in his infinite wisdom only told one f*cking guy about how his  universe works...
and left that one guy in charge of letting the rest of us know about it?
Really? 


That antiquated notion is simply too dangerous to be dropped in the lap of a few megalomaniacs who have proven time and time again,  that they usually edit and redraft all the good bits, and abuse it as a license to impose their will upon others, and enslave them.

When our common ancestors started traipsing oot of Africa it wasn't because they were bored, or looking for an IKEA. Some climatic disaster drove them away. Which is why I refer to us as Homo Escapeons. An Eon means "age" or "forever". We've been running away from our problems for Eons.

To this day most Humans seem more concerned with where they think they are going when they die, rather than finding out how we got here. Most Earthlings are shackled by superstitious beliefs that exist without any empirical evidence...dogmas which are eventually tweaked and manipulated to justify and absolve themselves of murdering, dominating, and controlling the proverbial others.

There are no others!

The earliest Humanish predecessors (Erectus, yes it's always funny) left Africa around 1.8 million years ago. Antecessor left 800,000 ya, then Heidelbergensis (future Neanderthals?) 600,000 ya, and finally us (Sapiens-Sapiens) around 60,000 ya.

Genetic evidence suggests that every single Earthling descended from a few thousand people about 70,000 years ago. This 'bottleneck' may have been brought about by a one of the world's largest know volcanic eruptions at Lake Toba (Sumatra, Indonesia), which plunged the planet into a 6 to 10 year volcanic winter, followed by a further 1,000 year period of cooling.
We left Africa to escape a changing climate.


The oldest known anatomically modern human is aboot 160,000 years old.
Every single Earthling shares a common ancestor dubbed Mitochondrial Eve, who had genetic markers that are shared by all of us. She lived roughly 120-150 ya...
okay enough with the numbers!

Once we were oot of Africa, we were primarily Beachcombers, and eventually we made it to Australia (40,000 ya) and eventually North America. In these new places we sapiens eventually "replaced" the earlier bunch of African escapees like the Neanderthals..who had a pretty good run ..about 400,000 years twice as long as we've been around .

Zip forward tens of thousands of years and here we are...
staring at all of this hardfought data from the past few hundred years that the Religious organizations tried to stop and are still trying to stop!


Instead of accepting that we are all rellies and combining our efforts to solve our myriad of dilemmas, we refuse on the grounds that some of having an exclusivity clause with the Almighty. Most religious leaders do everything within their considerable powers to cloak shared historical information from ever reaching their adherents...for obvious reasons.  

Most Earthlings are ordered to concentrate on the will of their supernatural God (to whom they claim exclusivity) so that they can escape THE END..whether THE END is their individual demise or that of the entire f*cking planet.

 Prospective global terminal disasters include but are not limited to:
solar flares, supernovae, black hole explosions or mergers, gamma-ray bursts, galactic center outbursts, pollution, geological disasters, human infertility, global nuclear warfare, pandemic viral infections,  all of which seem safe bets when compared to the various religious doomsday scenarios.

This gnashing of teeth is the result of watching Meryl Streep and Robert Redford in Out Of Africa. In that film Redford's character recognized that the natural world was on a collision with the Human world circa WW1.
I love the irony.

The imagery of the head-up-their-ass British Gentlemen's Club sipping G&Ts in the midst of the primal savagery and beauty of the Kenyan wilderness.
The British and German Royalty, cousins no less, have a territorial tiff to which the Gentleman merrily rush off to kill each other. Hear Hear!

We are ridiculous and we no longer have the luxury of ignoring the facts about who or what we are. It needs to stop.

Oot of Africa indeed!

DEM-ographics
"You cannot reorganize village life to suit the village idiot."
Frank Schaeffer

I recently received a fabulous book from a very thoughtful Blogger.

It's  The Daring Spectacle by Mark Morford...a "kick-ass, take-no-prisoners, laugh-out-loud-funny Liberal writer, thinker and cultural critic.

"Believe that you are part of a groundswell, a resistance, a seemingly small but actually very large impending karmic overhaul, a great shift, the beginning of something important and potent and unstoppable."

Here is an example of his insightful snarkasm:
How to talk to complete idiots

GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS?

Apparently the crumbling of the EU is bolstering the American Dollar..
which is great news for it's owners, China.

To better understand how close mankind is to reinstituting the Gold Standard, the final stage before we start trading in sea shells, cigarettes, and human skulls, the following link offers an invaluable synopsis of the sitch.

HERE

Sheesh!
Why can't the other News outlets keep it this simple?

NO THUGS IN OUR HOUSE

UGH

This country functions and flourishes BECAUSE it is designed to function WITHOUT perpetuating the traditional irrational violent religious rivalries fueled by sociopathic zealots who fuel hatred, prejudice, cruelty, and intolerance.


These antiquated practices haunt the Old World and history has shown that it led to nothing but an endless cycle of war. Millions of men, women and children were needlessly tortured and murdered for thousands of years. An insane inexcusable unforgivable waste of human life.

It is one thing for citizens to practice and promote the peaceful positive aspects of their belief system. 
If however, the radical fringe elements intent is to bully others into submission, demand exclusive rights, or threaten anyone else with their own self-serving brand of insane supernatural delusions of grandeur, the f*cking airport is thataway..we'll even pay your airfare....
and don't come back..
ever..no, not even for a visit.

We tippy-toe around the political correctness ..ooh better not hurt the feelings of people honoring assassins in blatant contradiction to the Law?
Sadly this is a charade and not about forming another "Stan" country, it's about a few assholes trying to gain control of power and money on a local level..
the whole liberation-theology fascade is a cover.

Fortunately the lure of the decadent West and an education based on empirical science will release the majority of the next generation from the mind control of the militants.

UGH!!!

"Buy Land, they ain't makin' any more of the stuff"
Will Rogers


ATTENTION EXTRATERRESTRIALS!
In the market for a house on Earth Street?
Well look no further my friend!
Here are the current listings that your intergalctic real estate agent could show you.

1.LIST PRICE = the Population of the Continent

2.SQUARE FOOTAGE = continental area in kilometres, add 000s

3.OWNERS = number of countries on the continent

4.OCCUPANTS = 1 person = 50 million+ etc

5.MORTGAGE RATE
= % Of People on Earth






'modern amenities with old world charm'
EUROPE
listed @ $729,000,000

is a 1,039 sf House on the East Side.
The MORTGAGE documents list 41 owners but you can't help but notice 3 people from RUSSIA (who spend most of their time in the Asia House) and 1 GERMAN, FRENCH, ITALIAN, BRITISH and UKRAINIAN.
*10% O.A.P.




'breath taking ocean view'
OCEANIA
listed @ $32,700,000

is a 850 sf House on the East Side.
The Mortgage documents list 13 owners but it looks empty. I notice a kangaroo plush toy on the floor.
*.5% O.A.P.


'make us an offer'
ANTARCTICA

is a vacant 1,372 sf House at the end of the street. The furnace is broken. *0% O.A.P.




'spacious and overloaded with amenities'
NORTH AMERICA
listed @ $885,000,000

is a 2,448 sf House on the West Side.
The mortgage documents list 27 owners.
There are 5 people from the U.S.in the living room and 2 from MEXICO in the sunroom.
Although you can't see them there are Canadians living in the attic. You can't see the Carribeans living around a heated pool or the Central Americans in the breezeway that is connected to the South American House next door.
*13% O.A.P.





'roomy rustic spanish style'
SOUTH AMERICA

listed @ $371,000,000

is a 1,784 sf House on the West Side.
The Mortgage documents list 12 owners but ay carumba!
you'll see 4 people from Brazil in very skimpy bathing suits .

*5% O.A.P.

'a must see for wildlife enthusiasts'
AFRICA
listed @ $887,000,000

is a big 3,030 sf House on the East Side.
The Mortgage documents list 54 owners.
Say hello to 2 people from Nigeria and 1 from Egypt, Ethiopia, Zaire and Lybia.
There are way more people here but this place is huge!
*13% O.A.P.




'fabulous kitchen and rugs'
ASIA
listed @ $3,900,000,000

is a huge 4,950 sf House on the East Side.
The Mortgage documents list 52 owners!
Yells, Bells and Smells!
I count 22 people from China and another 20 from India! There are 4 from Indonesia! Wait there is 2 from Pakistan,Japan and Bangladesh!
Hold on there is 1 from Iran,Turkey,Thailand and the Phillipines.
*60% O.A.P!

How much was Antarctica again?
Maybe we can fix the furnace?

PEOPLE GET READY

   There's a-Palin comin'.. 

You don't need no baggage
might as well hop onboard 
All you need is fate
to hear the disaster hummin'
Don't need no GOP ticket
you just thank, you just thank the Lord

vICARioUSly FREE FALLING

The recent Icarian plummet from the heavens of "Boy Scout" brand Tiger Woods has left another vacancy in the hero department of the Merkin Dream.

Why do we insist on hitching our wagons to celebs in order to justify our anonymity and validate our parking?

Like so many other "brands" who seemed to have it all, young Tiger succumbed to the pleasures of the flesh and further cemented the time honoured theory, that a man is only as monogamous as his options.

Like Icarus, celebrities all seem to crash and burn when they fly too high.
We who live vicariously through them, fall victim to our own terminal case of cognitive dissonance..
we are conflicted by our simultaneous schadenfreude of watching them fall from the heavens upon which we had elevated them.
 
Other than the morality clauses in his endorsement contracts, Tiger owed us nothing but to be a great whacker of balls.
Since when should we expect celebrities to eschew the fruits of having it all?
We would, wouldn't we? 

Our insatiable fascination with them is equally driven by wanton envy and unquenchable schadenfreude...revenge for having more than we do.

I prefer the likes of Mr. Clooney who goes out of his way to demythologize his public character. He concedes that his monetary gain and good fortune is disproportionate to his efforts and his self effacing humour about his "plight" disarms my natural tendency to deplore his good fortune.

I "buy" George because he only pretends on the big screen.

"Run for office?
No. I've slept with too many women,
I've done too many drugs,
and I've been to too many parties."

I sometimes wonder if perhaps, from time to time, George might actually prefer to be as mindnumbingly anonymous as I am?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Actually I would hate to be a celebrity in the TMZ era.
Now nothing is off limits and the most trivial minutiae of a Celebrity's personal life now engulfs the cyberworld and leeches onto the dying carcass of the "old school" news networks as they try to keep their heads above water and cater to the fantasy world of the great unwashed.

It seems self evident that "we" no longer care aboot real news that would actually have an impact on our lives.

This is partially due to the fact that our brains are still hardwired for a simpler existance oot & aboot the ancestral savannahs of Africa. 
Equally important is the fact that we have been lied to and manipulated by marketeers, generals, and politicians, for so long, that we have become comfortably numb in our coccoon of disengagement.

We no longer trust in much of the news that we read or watch anymore..
 so the hell with it.
Survey says..

Rome is bloody well burning so we might as well fiddle aboot on the rooftop whilst the now dominant glad-idiot-orial paparrazi outlets pump out the gossip and shout...

Who am I kidding?
The other post is too long..it's Friday!

PRINCE CHARLING

Error to the throne Prince Charles, is here in the Colonies to settle a delicate political matter.  Charles has a bone to pick with our sexy Governor General Michaëlle Jean.

Apparently our delightful "GG" Michaëlle Jean, (pronounced Mick-ale Jzuhn) misspoke when she told foreigners abroad that she was Canada's head of state.

I forget now, but I think that the head of state is either the Queen, or the Governor General, or both, or maybe the Prime Minister or the Minister of Fisheries?
I'm not certain if that's ever been decided? 

(*smuggling peanuts is Cockney slang for visible nippleage)

I'm kidding.

The title rightly belongs to Prince Charles's Mumsies, Queen Elizabeth,
who is QUEEN of the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica, Barbados, the Bahamas, Grenada, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Belize, Antigua and Barbuda, Saint Kitts & Nevis, Uranus & Saturn.

This week whilst visiting the Colonies at the pleasure of Canadian taxpayers, Charles met with our GG "Micky", as he calls her, to sort out this unpleasantness and secure his future as King of all those countries.

He will become KING providing that he can somehow outlive his mother who also happens to be the 13th richest Royal in the world @ $400MillionUS.

There have been other Charles in charge...

for instance..

The "third" bonnie King Charles was a foreign poseur and pretender to the throne..
unlike King Charles the Spaniel who ruled England for over 15 years until he was tragically run over by horse drawn carriage?

Did you know that when and if Charles ass-ends to the throne, he has the option of becoming either;
King Charles 3rd,
George 7th,  
King Phillips Screwdriver 
or better yet,
King Bloody Arthur!?

He can pick any one of his names?
Look, don't ask me how the bloody thing works?

That being said, Charles is prolly most famous for being a bit-of-a-Ladiesman.

To be fair, the poor bastard has lived his entire life under a microscope in a fish bowl and therefore his troubled romantic sexscapades have been fodder for the tabloids for 5 decades.

Whom amongst us can forget his Fairy Tale Wedding to Princess Dian-er way back in 1881?

Diana of course referred to his family as "the Germans" because Charles Phillip Arthur George nee-Mountbatten "WINDSOR",
is descended from the European Royal Household and Accountancy Firm of Oldenburg-Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg & Glücksburg.

Nevermind that twaddle.

What most people will remember of Charles is his lovelife, especially those well-documented phone transcripts.

Do you recall those exquisitly romantic, sweet-nothings he made to his then secret consort and now much maligned new wife, Camilla, Douchess of Cornhole?

btw: Camiller's great, great grandmother was the consort of Charles's great-great grandfather AND
according to her Wiki bio, that she is related to Celine Dion and Madonna..
9th cousin once removed..isn't that special?  :)


Transcript: Future King of England to then secret lover Camiller Parky'er Bowler:
"I want to feel my way along you, all over you and up and down you and in and out.
Oh God, I'll just live inside your trousers or something --
it would be much easier."

Camiller:
"Oh, you're going to come back as a pair of knickers?"

Future King O' England:
"Or, God forbid, a Tampax.
Just my luck!"

Camiller:
"You are a complete idiot!
Oh, what a wonderful idea."

Now the 18 1/2  members of the Canadian Monarchist Society may have their knickers in a knot over who is getting "head" of state, but as this article  in "The Guardian" suggests, most of the Canadians polled would rather have a Loon.