Mexcellent Adventure

DONN'S MEXCELLENT ADVENTURE

Hola! I am back from Vallarta..h'eemayeen ocho days without blogging?

The 4 hour flight was mercifully uneventful and I didn't perish in a ball of flames.

We arrived late in the evening and once my son and esposa were settled in our room, I ran down to hear the sound of the Pacific Ocean.



Naturally I wouldn't go in past my ankles because I knew that THIS would happen.

So to relieve the stress of my fear of flying, and now sharks, I started consuming copious amounts of ALL-INCLUSIVE-RUM

No problemo...the next day I regained consciousness and found myself in paradiso!

I began looking and acting like a typical touristo..

which of course entails flagrant displays of conspicuous gluttony and sloth interspersed with wanton acts of unacceptable behaviour and disregard for traditions and customs as you periodically wander about town annoying the locals.

VallARTA has muchos ARTA.... so there is muchos to see and do.


Of course you can always make your own art too..

not bad eh?

I had an awesome time and I will discuss the weirdness of it all in greater detail when my brain starts working again.

THERE'S GOT TO BE A MOURNING AFTER


A buddy sent over an interesting Beer Ad that is waiting for you at the bottom.

I found Goldstar's approach to be a delightfully refreshing departure from the time honoured traditions of bamboozeling College-age Y-Chromers with false advertising...like this!

This Australian ad is a trojan horse..it is pretending

to empower young females by making fun of the mandatory Beer Ad gals who are almost always dim-witted, giggling, large breasted, biologically accomodating nymphomaniacs who fawn over nerds.

My guess is that young men still noticed it.

These poor impressionable young dudes are led to believe that if they use their product, preferably in vast quantities, scantily clad busty babes will magically appear and literally beg them for casual sex...

a well documented phenomenon classified throughout scientificky circles as the miracle of alcohol.

Most of us understand that this theory stands in sharp contrast to all empirical evidence. Talk about your suspension of disbelief?

Mother Nature has spent 3.5 Billion Years of trial and error perfecting the intricacies of sexual reproduction and it is sad to think that this painstakingly arduous journey can be sidestepped by guzzling a couple Beer.

We were all taught that the survival of a species depends on the successful transference of genetic material that will actually improve and benefit a species.

Why then do young drunk guys believe that young drunk girls will have sex with them?

Don't bother answering that...the miracle of alcohol.

My biggest beef with the advertisers is that it is never fully disclosed why the beer guzzling good-time-gals do not have a Beer Gut or PANIS.

Panis is the medical term for the grotesque unsightly bulge of stored fat that hangs over the waiste and in some instances the genitalia.

If there was any truth in advertising then most of these young women pounding brewskies beer for beer would all look like this...which is still hot.

Most of us are all too painfully familiar with the consequences of making decisions while wearing Beer Goggles. That's why I like this ad. It is PRO-Active and evaluates the true cost/benefit parameters for both genders.

Have a lash at this send-up on how differently the genders view the aspects of getting together for a drink.

click to enlarge

Binging on buckets of Ice Cream seems imminent.

BEARIED ALIVE

It's cold enough to freeze the nuts off a robot.

Whateverpeg is in a deepfreeze and it is minus 30 frickin' degrees below zero.

All I can hear is the sound of housicles crinkling

and the whirring of my electricity meter (($$$$$$$$$$$$ ))

Outside the weather is frightful

but inside the fire is delightful...

WHOAH..ahem!

Honestly I was just sitting here blogging...

...when all of a sudden I hear a mighty thud eminating henceforth from the mountain of snow that is piled high in my backyard.

I quietly sneak outside...

OMG!

OMG!

OMG!

He's back.

I ran downstairs and quickly assembled a suitable device to rid myself of the pesky intruder rummaging through my garbage...

Then I set it in place.

Now all I can do is wait.....

sssh....

what was that?

HOLY CRAP IT WORKS!

Yeah yeah yeah...

I know that it prolly should have been painted white but what are ya gonna do eh?

PIECE UNEARTHED,

CAN IT BE?

I find it perplexing that here in the 21st Century we are still arguing bout the implications of a tiny Human Being. A storm of controversy persists over the very meaning of our existance.



How could one little person create such a big fuss?

Who this child sized person was, may hold the key to the eternal question..

how did we get here?

At the centre of it all is Homo_floresiensis , a three foot tall premodern Hominid equipped with a minisucle 400cc Brain that may have outlasted the Neaderthals.

Carbon dating places this being as having lived alongside of us as recently as 12,000 years ago..our nearest relatives, the Neanderthals disappeared around 24,000 years ago.

Paleontologists argue whether this so-called Hobbit was a microcephalic modern human or a fire using-tool making prototype that somehow outlasted their best before date.

The paltry brain power of this individual is equal to that of the infamous Lucy who nervously scampered around the African portion of Savannistan some 3 Million years ago. 400 cc Hominids did not make tools?

Personally I am siding with the Scientists who are convinced that she was not microcephalic and that evidence in the shape of the carpals suggests that she had possessed excellent finger-thumb manipulation capabilities..

the carpals of apes are far superior for transferring weight, throwing poo, and hanging, but limits their finesse.




Since the bone structure resembles that of an early hominin or chimpanzee,
"this adds support to the idea of the Hobbit being a separate species of early human rather than a modern human with a physical disorder."

There were other creatures on these Islands that shrunk to accomodate their environment, including Elephants, so why not Humans?

Everything shrunk on these islands except for the KOMODO DRAGONS ?

A few thousand years ago you could have found a true Flinstonian scenario of Dinosaur-like creatures co-existing alongside tiny humans...

and no doubt eating them.



Creation Scientists, who are advocates of the young Earth theory, should take solace that this is as close as they are going to get to having a Jurassic Park type setting where these two species, separated by millions of years, were sharing the same environment.

So this year my Christmas Wish is that we all stop fussing and fighting about this piece unearthed and have Peace On Earth.

Isn't it amazing how one little person,

can have such a HUGE effect on how we see ourselves?