KISSIN' CAUSEIN'S !?

rehashed from March 08

Don't worry I'm not going to ask you to tell me your favorite Big Screen Smooch..

you can if you want to...

but, have you ever wondered if we homo escapeons simply mimic passionate "Movie" kissing or is that type of kissing natural?

Once you have seen one of these torrid smooches on a giant screen aren't you disappointed if you don't receive an earth-moving Kiss?

This same logic dictates the reason that ordinary people should NOT watch porn.

The success of do-it-yourself sites like YouPorn prove once and for all that regular folks will be devastatingly discouraged by their 'shortcomings' if they try to mimic the Herculean performances of the Pros...

not to mention the abscence of all those ridiculously embelleshed 'bits' on display that most of us are neither born with n'or can we afford to implant them.

Do you suppose that prehistorical Cavemen tried hanging upside down or rolling in the surf having slurpy kisses?

Back in 1967 the author of The Naked Ape, Desmond Morris, suggested that mutual sexual gratification (Ladies Stop Laughing) was the key to securing a pair bond which was essential for successfully raising offspring.

He said that our species evolved by choosing mates with less hair and therefore more errogenous zones, female breasts became portruding, hemispherical, eye-magnets to divert the males attention to the front, so that we could invent the missionary position, which developed as a way to make reproducing more enjoyable.....

and it was easier to kiss.

OK scrub your brains and let's try to focus on just Kissing..oh wait....

This Kiss/Sex thingamabob reminds me of my favorite scene in Monty Python's Meaning Of Life when John Cleese is teaching Sex-Ed to the remarkably, disinterested, pupils.

Whilst discussing foreplay he says,

"What's wrong with a kiss, boy?

Hmm?

Why not start her off with a nice kiss?

You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate.

Give her a kiss, boy ."

According to Wiki;

-Anthropologists haven't reached a consensus as to whether Kissing is a learned or instinctive behavior

-Kissing may may be related to grooming behavior or may be the result of mammalian mothers premasticating..that's MASTICATING..

food for their children in order to recognize biological dangers to their offspring

-Kissing allows prospective mates to smell and taste each other's hornymones (also know as pheromones) for biological compatibility

-Ladies are subconsciously more attracted to men whose major histocompatibility complex portion of their genome is different from their own; leading to offspring with resistance to a greater number of diseases due to heterosis, and thus having a better chance of survival...

which is why we put the kibosh on Kissin' Cousins!

This explains why couples are more likely to bond if they have the right chemistry !  This tedious examination sort of takes all the mystery out of Life doesn't it?

So the hell with that.

Q. Of all the kisses that you've ever had, what percentage of those would be face-sucking, skull-drilling, take-me-now, make-me-lose-control, lip locking...

and how often do you want it?

FOREIGNERS MUST STOP EATING

by LORD TENNISANYONE

Pursuant to my recent reply to an electronic article published by my dear associate and ardent Large Hadron Collider denier, Vicus Scurra , concerning the Queen's 2009 message regarding the dietary peculiarities of foreigners, it suddenly occurred to me, that the greatest challenge of the new decade will be how we manage to preserve our beloved exotic animals and allow foreigners to share our planet.

Sadly those people have brought this all upon themselves. Unable to control their primal urges they fight amongst themselves and breed exponentially. 
Due to their self inflicted circumstance they are in the midst of subsequently eviscerating their local biospeheres where our beloved exotic animals live.
Bad form I say.

On the darkest of continents these people thoughtlessly trespass on our Game Preserves at will and shoot anything that bloody moves. Known locally as "Bush Meat" these foreigners are systematically eating our cousins, the Bonobos and Chimpanzees.

Dare I say that during the Colonial era in Africa the locals weren't allowed to tamper with our Game and everything seemed to be in order.
Now the whole bloody thing is out of sorts.

As if that wasn't enough of a perturbance, these foreigners also  massacre Elephants, Tigers, Gorillers, and Rhinos, leave the carcasses to rot, and sell their tusks, horns, paws, and penii, so that other foreigners can get boners, carve trinkets, and make bloody knife handles.


 

These voracious little buggers send huge floating factories into our bloody oceans to net, vacuum, dynamite, and harpoon anything that bloody swims or crawls..including our whales.

With all the fish nearly gone from the actions of these inconsiderate uppity foreigners, vicious Seals have started attacking and feeding upon my fellow Colonists.

One can hardly believe that these heartless bastards perform the barbaric practice of hacking the fins off of millions of bloody sharks every year, dumping the rest of the dying creatures into the water, in order to make expen$ive bloody soup to supposedly bring good luck and get boners.

Unfortunately eating our cousin Apes which have 99% of our DNA isn't the most egregious violation. What will eventually tip the scale and force us to take affirmative action is the irreconcilable practice of eating our beloved best furiends... 

Dogs.
Bloody Hell!

My old chum Charlie Darwin would not have been surprised at our discovery that all large megafauna were obliterated and became extinct as we marched out of Africa and conquered the other continents.

The animals that evolved alongside of us in Africa had enough bloody sense to run away or eat us. The new species that we encountered were thick as a post and just stood there as we poked them with sharp objects.

The fossil record shows that we annihilated the competing predatory species and inadvertently upset the natural balance allowing the prey animals to overpopulate and devour their food supply whilst succumbing to accompanying disease, before we killed and ate them all.

Nowadays it's bloody well impossible to enjoy a tender butter-roasted Dodo...

not to mention that a proper Gentlemen can no longer even enjoy a pleasant afternoon bagging a Thylacine ?!

pity.

That being said, we in the modern world have taken responsibilty for the missteps of our ancestors and developed an inexhaustable supply of frankencritters on huge factory farms....
 so why can't those foreigners figure it out?

We want to be able to enjoy hunting and photographing the exotic animals on safari in our far off lands and if these foreigners wish to continue sharing our planet, then they must stop eating our animals and especially our furiends.
My Word! 

MAN APES MONKEY!
(Summer Re-Run '06)

A short time ago I watched a televisual program about a Baboon troop that eerily mirrored our human society.

A large male, an outsider from another troop, fought and defeated the reigning King and took control.
Chaos ensued.

As if to maximise his reign of terror the new Tyrant killed one of the old King's offspring. This act of infanticide was a premeditated act to stop the Queen from lactating and therefore prompt her to become fertile again.

The opportunity to replace the exisiting constituents with your own is afterall the ultimate reward for any new Tyrant.
It's always about US and THEM!

Naturally the entire troop was thrown into a state of chaos but it miraculously devolved into a sustainable society of neurosis and fear much like our own. Within a surprisingly short period of time the entire troop nervously adjusted, submitted and adapted to the new King.

It seems that the day to day pursuit of food and shelter overrides all of the angst about the political state of affairs. Sound familiar?

Baboons certainly appear to be almost human with their expressive faces, busy little hands, and the myriad of required interpersonal conventions required to maintain the status quo. This particular program could have easily been a documentary on homo escapeons by simply replacing the images with footage of humans and leaving the audio intact.

You could call it automatic anthropomorphic authenticity thanks to the replication of all that monkey business to our own screwed up world.

Like Baboons, we unfortunately can't seem to shake the political aggression that continues to terrorise our own species. We so called higher evolved types continue to ape this sadistic behaviour...
Rwanda, Haiti, Bosnia, Kosovo, East Timor, Armenia, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Burundi, Congo, and Darfur.

Our world is still plagued by aggressive males invading and killing the neighbours and their offspring to satisfy their primal naked ambitions.

US against THEM.
I am sure that early man went through the exact sort of power struggles for millions of years. I find it totally depressing that in the 21st Century we still struggle with it.

WHY? Is it our lingering Colonial Paternalistic world view? We seem to treat Africans and other developing nations as children left to work it out on their own? This fantasy that it will all just somehow miraculously work out is crazy.


It also certainly appears that the United Nations has proven itself to be completely incompetent at protecting the global village. The UN might as well join the grotesque PR charade of the Olympics as an equally castrated eunich singing the praises of global harmony.

Striving to eliminate monstrous acts of genocide from history the whole world once cried 'Auschwitz, Never Again', and yet it is now Darfur and the world sighs 'Sudan, Not Again!'

With humans it seems that all of the window dressing that we put on display cannot disguise the little shop of horrors that we call Humanity.

OZZIE OSMOND?

I knew that the apocalypse was upon upon us way back in 1972.

It was a horrible year; Watergate, Vietnam War, Munich Massacre at the Olympics, and to top it all off the first hand held calculator was introduced, but what really put me over the top was the release of the song Crazy Horses by the Osmonds!

Now I certainly never thought that there would be FIVE 'zany' Horsemen of the Apocalypse..nor did I suspect that they would be dressed in vintage 'Vegas' Elvis jumpsuits!

At first I thought that these squeaky-clean Mormons had got into the Sugar..

maybe they had broken the cardinal rule and drank some Coffee and their madcap antics were the result of freaking out on a caffeine buzz?!

Judging by the pandemonium onstage they were totally out of control..

and talk about Attack Of The Clones!

Jay's playing the empty Drum Kit by telepathy???? and doing a frenetic, Jaggeresque 'bird dance'

Wayne, who is about 7'4", is eerily channeling Jimmy Page

Merrill is shredding his vocal chords and somehow outscreaming McCartney's Woman Oh Why! Why! Why!

and Donny is beatin' on the keyboards like it owed him money!

It's as if the whole world going completely mad?

(gulp)

Throughout my school years I had to live in the shadow of Donny (sigh)...

I was a moptopped 'Donny' only 3 days older than the Tiger Beat hearthrob..

oh if only I had a nickel for every "Look it's Donny Osmond" taunting I'd be a gazillionaire!

If you are brave enough you can watch the video here..

CRAZYHORSES

What if the Osmonds had completely crossed over to the Dark Side and started speed thrash metal? What if Donny changed his name to Ozzy Osmond?

I shudder to think what might have happened

Before I forget, now that Hollywood Icon Charlton Heston has passed away, I wonder if some 'damn dirty ape' will be brave enough to go and try to take his gun from his cold, dead, hand?

My Dear Marcellus,
Something is NOT rotten in the state of Denmark!

Most of us had to study Hamlet, Shakespeare’s tragic tale of the melancholy Dane. The famous line about something being rotten in Denmark could not be further from the truth because according to a survey by the BBC HERE, Denmark has the happiest (most content) people on Earth.

I saw the story HERE here on CBS 60 minutes. Unlike most countries, the 5.5 Million Danes have a homogenous population, low crime rate, womb to tomb educational and medical coverage paid from a tax rate of 50%, 6 weeks of holidays, and their expectations are very modest..
basically the polar opposite of the American Dream of having it all and then some. Can you say good-clan-living. I will spare you my usual diatribe on how our brains have not evolved enough to cope with living in anything larger than a clan.
You're welcome.

This show coincided with a program HERE that I watched on NOVA about our closest cousins called Ape Genius. The other Apes are very smart but they apparently have trouble controlling their emotions and have serious impulse control issues. Unlike the Danes, who keep to themselves in public and consider it a “right NOT to be talked to.”

If you look at the Prison populations anywhere in the world, what percentage of the inmates would you suspect have serious impulse control issues? 100? When you watch the news and you see Religio-Political self flagellating, fanatics collecting in mobs, firing machine guns in the air while screaming like madmen, how many of them look like drama queens in full control of their emotional facilities?

This brings us back to the other Apes.

The Bonobos are a much happier lot than our doppleganger cousins the Chimpanzees (and us) because they use sex as a form of conflict resolution unlike the Chimps, (98% of our DNA), who use violence and intimidation to settle their interpersonal relationships.

Can you say Impulse Control, HELLO!

Some Anthropologists believe that somewhere along our evolutionary voyage, Homo Escapeons advanced because selective characteristics of cooperation and impulse control were passed on and gave us an edge..although I see scant evidence that this is a dominant trait.

Either way it gave rise to the two basic types of Humans that exist today.
Those that are Charming and those that are Tedious.

One could therefore logically assume that living in a country full of armed, raving, violent, male, nutjobs who act like two year olds having a temper tantrum, could easily be designated as the UNHAPPIEST places on Earth. No need to list those eh?

So in conclusion, the happiest place on Earth would be in a orgiastic, Bonobo colony in Denmark… moderate expectations notwithstanding.

I am sooo there!
Ooh-Ooh-A-HA!

UNHAND ME YOU BEAST!

Last night I watched Beastly Games on the History Channel. For Centuries the Roman Empire captured countless numbers of animals, especially the African predators at the top of the food chain, to be sacrificed for the entertainment of the great unwashed in the Arena. Homo Escapeons have always had a negative effect on the other animals on the planet.

It made me think about how we treat our Earthly cohabitants…

especially the other ‘Hominid’ Primates.

HERE is a great link to the Big Five.

From the oldest (16MYA) Orangutans to the newest, not us, Bonobos (3MYA), most will probably disappear from the wild thanks to our ignorance and insatiable quest to populate every inch of habitable land. It is estimated that there are only about 400,000 great apes, our closest relatives on the planet, and that there are over 6.5 Billion of us.

Far too many of the great apes live in war torn regions of the world, are captured for the exotic pet trade, and even harvested as Bush Meat to feed workers. Tick tock.

We are very ‘simian-lar’ to these creatures especially the Chimpanzees (Mock Man) who are male oriented omnivores who occasionally murder each other and start wars with their neighbours. The ubersexual Bonobos (Ancestor) or Boner-hos as I like to call them, use Sex as a conflict resolution and I write about them once a week so now we can finally start talking about SEX!

Scrotum size tells us a lot about a Primate’s reproductive behavior or in less scientificky terminology, their ‘Sexcapades’.

Male Gorillas, despite being the largest Ape, have a solitary dominant male who keeps a harem so they have small balls, they don’t need a lot of fertilizer. Male Chimps and especially Bonobos, have HUGE balls because they are promiscuous and need a lot of fertilizer. Male Homo Escapeons are in the middle but have a lot of sperm that is designed to kill and block other sperm..so that pretty much answers your question about monogamy.

According to condom maker Durex, the average Human Earthling has about 10 sexual partners during their lifetime. You can check out your National Statistics on their survey HERE .
I’m sure that it must be completely unbiased HA HA HA.

Do you believe their findings or are they just trying to validate our inner bonobo and sell more rubbers?

8 things (that I h’8) about me

I apologize for not visiting your Blogs but our 1 month of Summer is happening RFN and I don’t want to miss it.

Breakerslion @ http://confusionofideas.blogspot.com/ and Gautami @ http://firmlyrooted.blogspot.com/ tagged me with this meme but in lieu of Summer Holidays I shall not pass it on...

1) I don’t have a 'normal' nail on either of my baby toes. They grow vertically like a Velociraptor talon!?
Luckily this trait was not passed on to any of my 4 children but I would have gladly traded it for the obsessive nature to question everything that I did forward.
2) Even though I can watch 2 or 3 movies in one day I cannot seem to concentrate long enough to read a couple pages of a novel. Generally I will only read something if it is educational, historical, or informative, and personal blogs seem to be the only exception. I am thrilled (but not surprised) to have found so many fascinating, sensual, sentient beings out here and it gives me a little more hope for the future of our species that there are funny, lovable, intelligent people out here.

3) I put EVERYTHING in alphabetized lists because I need to deconstruct events and look for patterns and rational explanations ‘in order’ to understand why the world is such a disaster and more importantly because my short term memory is for all intents and purposes non existant.

4) There are about one dozen specific incidents in my life that I deeply regret experiencing which I mercilessly relive nearly every week and even though I was a only child when half of them occurred I still cannot forgive myself for the fact that I failed to identify and avoid them. I cannot seem to be able to put down that load of bricks.

5) Actually I really hate the way that this world operates but I enjoy figuring out why it is so fercoct. I completely understand that the Universe is insanely inhospitable and that Life On Earth should realistically mirror that fact. I accept the notion that it is a so-called ‘miracle’ that Life exists here on the third rock from the sun.

6) I believe that IF there actually was a Creator like the version invented by the various Monotheists or atleast one that actually liked people, that Life on Earth would have been a lot kinder and palatable for 99% of all the creatures who have ever existed, instead of the insane, bloodthirsty, gorefest that it was, is, and will be tomorrow.

7) Therefore; If I could be the Creator of the Universe for one day I would separate all of the ‘nice’ people in your neighbourhood, country, and throughout the rest of the world, and rearrange the molecular composition of all the other violent ‘awful’ people in exchange for more puppies, kittens, great apes, or anything other than one of those seriously tedious waste of amino acids.

8) I will reluctantly touch handrails in public places unless I have hand sanitizer, and have come to the conclusion that we humanimals still lug around a primitive set of socialization skills that prevent us from advancing…like this article;
PSYCHOLOGYTODAY

Never do a meme on a Monday f*$@#n Morning. How depressing to discover that I am little more than a tedious, naive, idealistic, snob. I hate, rather I do not prefer, memes about me I find it depressing..

a bit like being Eeyore..

"Thanks for noticing me"

SEE YA LATER,

prolly after I have a great summer.

History is factually Ourstory

In 1582 the GREGORIAN (Pope Gregory 13th) Calendar was established to replace the JULIAN (Julius Caesar) Calendar because it was too long and added a few extra days over time.

One year earlier an Irish child was born who would one day unveil the fact that the world began on October 23rd, 4004 BC! "IT WHAT?!"

Anglican Bishop James Ussher (1581-1656) dutifully investigated the book of Genesis to determine the exact years of NOAH'S FLOOD and the CREATION of ADAM & EVE.
"Your basic no-brainer!"

Since 4 BC had sort of been picked as the birth year of Jesus (see MITH about Christmas) all he had to do was subtract 4,000 years...so..4004 BC... DONE!
Alright to be fair Ussher thought that everyone mentioned in the Bible were actual people so all he had to do was trace the geneaologies back to ADAM.
"Holy Begats Batman!"

Unfortunately it is virtually impossible to corroborate any historical figures in the Bible past Saul, the first King of Israel in the year 1020 BC.
"A-be-dee-a-be-dee-a- that's Saul Folks!"

From all other contemporary historical sources such as Egyptian, Greek, Roman or Sumerian etcetera there are no written records of any other biblical figures beyond this point.
"Anybody-here, seen my old friend Abraham? Can you tell me where he's gone?"

Ussher had the mistakenly placed Saul at around 1095 BC instead of 1020BC, not bad. The rest of his guesses get wonky. Ussher liked 1490 BC for the Exodus from Egypt although Ramses 2nd was Pharoah at about 1237 BC.
"Let my people go ...You damn dirty ape,"Charlton Heston,
(I always get those movies mixed up!)

The most obvious oops (granted Ussher had no way of knowing that there never was a wordwide flood) was putting Noah and the Great Deluge in the year 2349 BC. It is interesting to note that the Tigris and Euphrates were prone to floods and from what I have read a massive event had occurred in Mesopotamia around 2800 BC but the Sumerian and Egyptian Empires were both flourishing unfettered by global flooding around 2300 BC.
"There's gonna be a floody floody!"

Many scholars agree that the Jews started piecing together the Bible around 586 BC while experiencing the hospitality of the Babylonians. During this captivity the traditional tales of a catastrophic flooding, fables like the Epic of Gilgamesh, became the inspiration for the Hebraic Noah.

There are obvious connections to the mythical pre-flood Sumerian Kings and their fantastic life spans. Likewise the Biblical Patriarchs of Noah enjoyed incredibly ridiculous longetivity. Methusaleh apparently lived to be 939 years old.
"Uh Huh."

Regardless, there is not a shred of evidence to suggest that the entire world experienced Noah's flood.
We now know that the Sumerians were writing and recording events starting as early as 3100 BC. This helps us to trace the history of Mesopotamia and Egypt to within putting distance of Usshurs guesstimate of 4004 BC. We have uncovered evidence of celebrities and civilisations such as Nebuchadnezzar & Chaldeans, Esarhaddon & Assyrians, Hammurabi & Babylonians, Sargon & Sumerians back to Narmer & Egyptians around 2850 BC!

We have also unearthed some of the first cities such as Catal Huyuk dating back to 7,500 BC and Jericho to about 9,000 BC! We won't wander past this point in OURstory because obviously we can travel much further and more accurately in reverse than Ussher could.

What about the allegorical ADAM & EVE popping up on October 23rd, 4004?

Well I actually believe in EVE! Mitochondrial EVE, she lived about 150,000 years ago in Africa and every single one of us homo escapeons on the planet shares her DNA.
So why are some folks in Kansas (there is no place like home Dorothy) still insisting on teaching this nonsense about a 6ooo year old planet in the Science curriculum?
COME ON!

OUR STRIKING SIMIANLARITIES

I watched an interesting program called clever-monkeys on PBS the other night. Monkeys are our ancestral, blueprint, relatives and they have been monkeying around far longer than us.

Monkeys have very expressive, human-like, faces, 3D colour vision, hands with little opposable, thumbs which no doubt evolved to enable us to text message, but they also have highly intelligent problem solving brains, and distinct forms of communication.


That being said there are even more alarming simianlarities:








The young monkey around in protracted, overprotective, state of arrested development. Some Monkeys have learned how to self medicate with herbal remedies and most of them squander their brainpower on selfish endeavours such as stealing food and mates.

Does that remind you of another species?


More than any other simianlarity;

Monkeys live in stressful, violent, uber-competitive, societies that suffer from the effects of constant political turmoil predicated by the actions of highly, aggressive, dimorphically-dominant, males who fight with other males for supremecy on a daily basis but will call a truce and band together to lead attacks against outsiders.
I was quite alarmed to learn that more Capuchin Monkeys are killed by other Capuchins in their daily skirmishes than from predators.

Humans have always anthropomorphized these miniature replicant creatures and apparently we inherited lot of bad behavior and have more in common than we care to admit.

We apples didn't fall too far from the ancestral tree.

Humans are classified as Placental>Mammals>Primates in the family Hominidae and we certainly took our-own-sweet-time getting here.

Of course we've only recently started to figure out when we left our Family Tree.

Proto-mammals started out as refitted, reptilian, creatures who adapted to a safer more opportunistic, crepuscular, lifestyle sneaking around in the dawn (matutinal) and dusk (vespertine)and some species became nocturnal.

If we travel back in time, about 100 million years, we find the first evidence of Placental Mammals and by 65 mya Modern Primates arrive on the scene.

Somewhere around 40 mya we find evidence of the first Monkeys and when our modern climate began and Ice formed in the Antarctic 30 mya, Primates became extinct everywhere but Africa & Asia.

Now it starts to get complicated so hang on..

25 mya our Super-family: Hominoidea, the first Apes, start propping themselves up.


18 mya Gibbons, the lesser Apes, swing off the Family Tree and around 17 mya when early ancestors of the Hominids (great apes and humans) migrated to Eurasia from Africa just before these two continents were cut off from each other by an expansion of the Mediterranean Sea.


Recent fossil evidence found in Germany was determined to be about 16.5 million years old, some 1.5 million years older than similar species from East Africa.



Orangutans, members of our Great Ape



By 7 mya our rellies further speciate into our Sub-family: Homininae.




Our largest cousins put the GO in Gorilla, and off they GO.

Keep in mind that Gorillas & Chimps/Bonobos are genetically closer to Humans, than they are to Orangutans.

Chimpanzees, our kissin' cousins, really are a chimp off the old block, they share 98.4% of our DNA, and although Chimps divurge around 5 mya, they are considered members of our Tribe: Hominini.






The Chumps, our first recognisable proto-peeps show up about 2.6 mya when the first Hominids somehow removed their opposable thumbs off of their tool and started using sticks & stones & animal bones as tools.
Family: Hominidae, march off into the jungle around 14 mya.

Say hello to Homo Habilis, the handy-man;

"who can make our stock rise,
sprinkle it with tools,
wander the Savannah and start a miracle or two,
it's Habilis,

The Handy Man can 'cause he hooks us up with tools and makes evolution sound good"


OK, now we can include Homo Sapiens & our less fortunate extinct relatives.

We now have a classification known as the Sub-tribe Hominan.


Environmental factors may have also led to the isolation of the Chimpanzees we call Bonobos on or about 2 mya.







Bonerbos differ from the other Chimps in that their society is matriarchal and they settle disputes with SEX instead of violence..if only we could have stuck a little closer to this lot!

The much maligned Neanderthals (99.5% of our DNA) made their own way in this world around 350,000 years ago and lived alongside of Homo Erectus until the arrival of our ancestors, Homo Sapiens.

Erectus sprung up in Africa around 1.7 mya...

It's hard to miss the metaphorical rise of their ascension on this chart.

"The dominant view among scientists is the recent African origin of modern humans (RAO) that Homo Sapiens, our Common Ancestor, evolved in Africa and spread across the globe from Africa around 200,000 years ago, replacing populations of Homo Erectus and Homo Neanderthalensis."

The closest that anatomically modern Humans have come to finding a genetic EVE is a 140,000 year old individual who scientists refer to as Mitochondrial_Eve.
*all humans alive today have DNA traceable to Mitochondrial Eve

If you're looking for a Genetic Adam, there is a 60,000 year old fellow dubbed Y-chromosomal_Adam who has not been universally embraced.

Moving right along,

70,000 ya we lose our Erectus..

until the emergence of Homo Viagrus in the late 20th Century

50,000 Stone tools start to get fancy-schmancy

30,000 Neanderthals disappear
leaving US, Sapiens, alone to perfect the tools that will enable us to kill prey and other Humans.

Thanks to the miracle of Agriculture, Nomadic Hunter-Gatherer Clans soon fall victim to the creation of Civilization. A surplus of food results in Humans being stratified into Haves and Have-Nots.

The Haves; Priests, Generals. Land Owners, Celebrities and Politicians, force the Have-Nots, the rest, to obey their rules.

4,000 ya Writing, the most powerful weapon ever invented, helps to instill enough fear and bullsh*t into the hearts and minds of the Have-Nots, that they can be coerced, cajoled, and even volunteer, to sacrifice themselves (via Slave Labour or Military service) to help? the Haves expand their Civilization...

usually by taking over neighbouring Civilizations that they once traded with.

Civilization signals the birth of Homo Escapeons.

Once the majority of Humans had devalued themselves enough to become pawns subservient pawns, the defining trait of Civilization, the race to annihilate the other Escapeons began and we've never looked back.

We 've only just begun exploring our Family Tree and affirming what was once thought to be a ridiculous notion,that there only is one species of Human.

"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a cross-roads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."

Woody Allen