Somalia Later

SOMALIA LATER!

Irate aboot Pirates

The ongoing standoff in the Gulf of Aden has many perplexed. How can there be Pirates in the 21st Century?

First of all we need to remember that SOMALIA

is number one on the failed state index which measures the worst conditions for humans to live in. Sudan is number two.

When I hear the name Somalia the first 3 things that come to mind are the movie Black Hawk Down, super-model Iman, & Somali Pirates.

#1 Black Hawk Down

This is one of my favorite soldier flicks. It depicts America's last military encounter with this "failed state"...Somalia hasn't had a government since 1991!

During this collision of cultures, 19 Americans and over 1000 Somalis died. The caption Leave No Man Behind eerily mirrors the current situation that the world is watching. Somali Pirates have abducted the civilian Captain of a merchant cargo vessel, the first act of piracy on an American vessel in 200 years.

The Captain bravely offered himself as a hostage to the Pirates in exchange for his crew. Leave No Man Behind...especially a good, brave, man like Captain Richard Phillips. There are about 250 other hostages from other countries being held by Somali Pirates.

#2 Iman

Yes indeed, Iman, the uber-elegant, super-model and spousal unit of David Bowie, is from Somalia. For whatever reason, Mother Nature has nurtured and molded a gene pool in the horn of Africa that produces the most beautiful and handsome homo escapeons on Earth...atleast imho.

When you look at pictures of the pirates you cannot help but notice that these are not the usual suspects...those half-crazed, bearded, desert worn, thugs dressed in nightgowns...but Somali people are extraordinarily good looking homo escapeons.

Thanks to the ubiquitous influence of Television and Movies, most of us in the West have been trained to expect the bad guys to be U G L Y!

We must also bear in mind that these Somali Pirates have no philosophical illusions of perpetually penetrating 72 nymphomaniacal-virgins in paradise when they volunteer to expire in some glorious cause. Nope.

Despite the islamist influences in the political spectrum of Somalia, and the fact that these pirates live in a moral vacuum where human life has no value, they just want money.

#3 SOMALI PIRATES

Most of us scratch our heads when we read about these third-world, gangsta-pirates. It is hard to comprehend how a seemingly rag-tag group of heavily armed, stoned on Khat asshats can manage to somehow capture HUGE cargo ships from small boats with outboard motors..hundreds of miles out-to-Sea...and then force Corporations to cough up million$ in ransom?

The Pirates are actually quite well prepared. They travel out to Sea on large "Mother Ships", locate targets using modern technology, and then launch small attack squads with just enough firepower (rocket launchers) to actually sink the cargo ships.

Don't ask me why merchant vessels, manned by unarmed crews, haven't been travelling through the Gulf Of Aden in convoys with military escorts?

Instead they play the odds.

We also need to remember that there isn't a functioning government on shore so these pirates can do whatever they like. So far the Corporations seem willing to dish out $2M in ransom in order to rescue $20M worth of merchandise..

it's the just the cost of doing business in the new global economy.

A new book by Dambisa Moyo titled DEAD AID

outlines the failure of the West to ease their conscience and help Africa by just throwing tons of money at it.



Post Colonial Africa seems hopelessly trapped by millenia of tribal/genocidic hatred. The modern (meaningless?) borders are constantly being transgressed by vicious military-gangs who torture, rape, pillage, and murder, members of other tribes. These armies serve warlord thugs who are sponsored by the booty they pirate from well intentioned Western Aid.

These despotic tyrants "pirate" the aid, siphon the proceeds, and purchase modern weaponry for their private armies.

It's an unmitigated disaster for all of those emaciated mothers and children that we see on televsion BUT for the warlords and despots it's like winning the lottery! The African people aren't getting it and obviously we in the West aren't "getting it" either.

I wrote an overview of the continental struggle of nearly 1 Billion People on March 08, 2009 entitled AFRICkAn MESSage for all of us.

SO...What will happen?

This is an international problem that affects the globalization of the world economy. Now that the Pirates feel bold enough to take on the USA they may be in for a surprise. All wars are related to economics and this new aspect will be tagged on to the War On Terrorism.

The root of the problem, a failed state, needs to be dealt with by a coalition because of the impact on the human lives that are being tyrannized under the lawlessness that prevails in Somalia.

The other thing that needs to happen is for the Pirates to hand over all of the hostages. Then their land bases need to be monitored and secured so that they can't launch.

My guess is that the American Navy will need to hold off from delivering an appropriate response until the Captain is released via a secret ransom and subsequent safe passage of the Pirates. He did try to escape but was recaptured and now other pirates are on en route to bolster the resolve of their fellow extortionists.

Unfortunately the "lifeboat" in which Captain Phillips is being held, is a covered craft and that makes it difficult to "take out" the bad guys without endangering his life. It is unknown how much food and water is onboard. The US Navy circling the scene could wait them out and sink any approaching vessels.

Following that event, any vessel bobbing about in that part of the world will be strafed, torpedoed, and sunk on sight without prejudice.

Yo-Ho-F*cking-Ho, Somalia later!