GUY MOVIES!

I finally watched Rock N Rolla.

Loved it...

cool visuals, great music, awesome dialogue, and of course a great ensemble cast playin' witty-but-gritty, f*ckin' gangsters, all intersecting in a convoluted plot.

I am also a big fan of Guy Ritchie's way over the top

Lock Stock &TwoSmokingBarrels &

Snatch..

one of Brad's best characters..

"da yew like Degs?"

Say what you will about getting $60M from Madonna, but he makes great GUY movies.

Any dissenters?

Royt, oy'll dew yew fa tha mate!

A GOOD SWAT IN TALIBANISTAN?

The leaders of the Western World are finally eyeballing Pakistan as groundzero on the war on Terror and Islamofacist Terrabs.

The worst kept secret in the universe is that al-Quaida and the Taliban rule the wild-iswamic-western provinces of Pakistan. From this safe haven they sneak into Arfghanistan to fight people from the 21st Century.

A recent truce between the Terrabs in the Swat valley of Talibanistan and the Government of Pakistan has made it official..

so now it is time to nuke them back into the Stone Age..

which really isn't that much different than the Ironfisted 7th Century Rule of their version of Shariac Law that they currently impose on the terrified civilian 'prisoners' inhabiting the region.

Unfortunately according to a recent survey in the above captioned article;

"67% of the civilian 'prisoners' support "honour killings", 50% believe Islamic law brought peace to the region, and only 3.6% consider the Taliban to be terrorists"

...WTF?

Nevertheless, everyday people living in the 21st Century from all around the Western world are finally starting to ask our leaders the tough questions..

like why the hell are we fighting these asshats in the wrong f*cking countries?

Well, fear not my friends because the End Is Near!

My trusted sources at the Pentagon are aware that timing is everything in Life and this recession plaguing the modern world has given these bastards a false sense of security. Our enemies and frenemies both think that the West is goin' down!?

What the Terrabs fail to recognise, mainly because they don't have any real f*cking schools, is that nothing would stimulate the sagging economic landscape of the West like a brand new war!

The West is already blowing up the Talibums and al-Quaidiacs with small remote controlled drone spybots. Within a few months, finally, the West may actually be putting boots on the ground in Pak-it-in-a-stan.

If it's a war those neolithic dumbasses want, then gawdammit we'll give 'em one. The ludicrous ongoing, politically-correctified, PR-nightmare of treating Fake-istan with kid gloves is done...aiding and abetting the enemy can no longer be ignored..and I'm a-betting that a can of whoopass is about to be opened.

Don't you think that it's about bloody time to send the S.W.A.T. team in to SWAT the Swat... or what?!

RAISING THE DUNBAR
Cliques & Clickstreams



British Anthropologist Robin Dunbar studies Primate socialization and came up with the Rule Of 150. That is the figure he attached to the number of meaningful, stable, social contacts that we would naturally maintain. This number is presumably imposed by the neocortical processing capacity that we inherited.







For most of Human history this was probably quite true. Humans probably spent nearly half of their time focussing on social grooming in order to keep the group together. We naturally form protective cliques to protect ourselves, even out here..damn that Selfish Gene.

Now Facebook, Twitter, and Blogs, are stretching our little Primate brains to their limit. Cybergrooming is redefining the meaning of socializing. We may be grooming more people, but how much of it is sustainable and meaningful?

I think that this is why Bloggers get burned out and quit. The cost/benefit analysis & work-to-fun ratio simply might not provide enough of a return on your investment. Cybergrooming & networking may be very important to you and for many it is equal to or eclipsing the connections in the so-called RW or real world..is it?

All of this chat-ronizing also has a sinister shadow lurking beneath, the clickstream. Like it or not, every click on your keyboard is being recorded, colated, and analyzed, so that someone, somewhere, can sell that information to somebody else, who is going to try to sell something to you and your demographic cohorts.



Some of us forget that digitized chatter is so easy to lock and load. I've fabricated some outrageous notions and expressed unpopular views that are definitely not politically correct. Many of my blog postings, taken in or out of context, would open me up to a world of grief should any of those narrow minded little asshats ever get motivated. HA! WhatEVERRRRRRRR!

That being said, I still have this bizarre idea that this may be the last bastion of free speech. You still can't say things on the opinion page of your local newspaper the way that you do out here. For the most part I am expressing my views because I have a safe cyber-room full of like-minded peeps, whom I in return, reciprocate and groom..see, there is that damn selfish gene again! Maybe I wouldn't be so brave if I was getting kicked in the balls everytime that I said something stupid?



Most of us are not super-connectors with hundreds, thousands, or millions of contacts, so chances are excellent that nobody could be arsed to get on our tits about what we say..they just want to know where we go...for now.

How conscious of your predicament are you?
A are you overextending your social grooming abilities?
B do you care that your clicks and cliques are being sold?

GREENVY

Now I know that many of you will be horrifyingly

GREEN with ENVY

as you jealously covet my recently painted electric-neon-lime-green bathroom that I am shamelessly exposing in this unretouched photo.

Then again, I might be pulling y'er nose?

OSC-SNORE RANT

There once was an aura of glamour and mystery about MOVIE STARS. These days, thanks to the paparazzi and the Interwebs, we know more about celebrities than we do about our friends and relatives. The main disconnect is that most of us watch MOVIES we don't study FILM.

One thing is certain, the "Oscars" need to be trimmed down to a one hour program because most Movie-goers are only moderately interested in a few categories...aside from the few people who like to bet on them in Vegas.

Let's face it, we live in a hyperdrive-nano second world where you can retrieve information in a few seconds...who has three hours to waste. Movies themselves may soon need to be trimmed down from the standard 2 hours?

Just the facts please Ma'am. Now that there are so many other ways to entertain ourselves, we just need a quick reference in case we decide to watch a movie..which doesn't actually entail leaving your house anymore.

So fine, tell us about the five nominees and then blurt out the winners in:

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor: Sean Penn, MilK
Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Best Director: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Animated Feature Film: WALL-E

Best Original Score & Best Song:

Since it's Music this can be done at the Grammys..sorry Peter Gabriel

Adapted Screenplay & Original Screenplay:

Wasted on movie-goers..but this information might be of interest to people who actually read b o o k s?

Best Cinematography & Film Editing & Visual Effects & Sound Effects & Sound Mixing:

For techies and Film students..who goes to a see a movie because of the Sound editing?

Best Short Documentary & Best Foreign Film & Animated Short Film & Live Action Short Film:

You and I will NEVER-EVER watch them... unless we know someone in them or they are about our favorite cause or shot in our city or country.

Makeup & Costume & Art Direction:

Hello!? A movie without these key ingredients is called a Documentary.

One Hour MAX! ... and we demand that the host be an irreverent Comedian who will poke fun at the biggest EGOS on the planet. Actors and Directors get paid ridiculously obscene sums of money..millions of dollars more than people who teach your children how to read, carry you out of burning buildings, or fix your aorta.

What if the world operated according to our hierarchy of needs and the highest paid people on Earth provided the basics:

physiological, safety and security, love and belonging, and esteem needs?

Parents, Teachers, Nurses, Electricians, Doctors, Plumbers, Firemen, Cops, would all be Millionaires!

It wasn't that long ago that "Entertainers" were wandering, hand-to-mouth, thesbians, magicians and minstrels? When did the world invert and who decided that being Actors, Athletes and Musicians were the most important jobs on Earth?

What if the world wasn't upside down and Actors and Athletes worked on commission?

THE ARFUL TRUTH ABOUT ALTRUISM

The other night I was flipping between the umpteenth re-broadcasting of the Westminster Dog Show AND a program on Psychologist Paul Eckman's work on facial expressions WHILE trying to read an article on INEQUITY AVERSION in Dogs ((audible gasp)).

INEQUITY AVERSION or IA is the preference for fairness and resistance to inequitable outcomes. Homescapeons probably inherited this trait from our ancestral Primates but other species, including Dogs, are also sensitive to inequities in favour.

Humans have turned inequity aversion into an Artform and many are consumed by it. Some are angry that others get ahead and some people fret and feel guilty or unhappy to have received an undeserved reward because they don't want to upset the proverbial Apple Cart.

"This seemingly self destructive behaviour is a willingness to sacrifice potential gain in order to block another individual from receiving a superior reward."

"In theory this response is essential in creating an environment in which bilateral bargaining and a level playing field can thrive."

Life just isn't fair but we think that it should be.

Homo Escapeons seem to have inherited this trait from our Primate ancestors but we're not alone. Recent studies have proven that Dogs intrinsically understand when they are getting pooched.


If Dog "A" is getting extra treats for doing the same bloody trick and Dog "B" is getting diddly-squat, Dog "B" will vent their frustration by either giving up and peeing on the carpet, or by opening a can of whoop-ass on the other Dog and the asshat who is teasing them.

It's true isn't it? We all hate..I mean "do NOT prefer".. to see others, primarily our perceived peers and co-horts, get ahead in Life...especially when they are putting the same amount of effort into The Game of Life as we are.

We tolerate instances when those "less fortunate" catch a break..as long as they don't get more than us, but we reserve our ultimate contempt for the polar ends of the Human spectrum: Downass Slackers and Lucky F*cking Bastards.

We all seem to universally disapprove of slackers, they can rot in their self-imposed, lethargic, limbo. The same goes for the Lucky Bastards, a good example of this is the fact that everybody despises lottery winners.

Which made me think about my favorite German loanword, Schadenfreude. Schadenfreude (Damage/Joy) means the usually unanticipated pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. Schadenfreude seems to be a hardwired byproduct of our sense of inequity aversion.

In order to alleviate the shame about how awful we are, I quickly searched for an antonym and discovered Mudita. Mudita is rejoicing and finding altrusitic pleasure in others' joy and well-being. Isn't that swell?

I think that if we are being totally honest with ourselves, we can admit that we do experience sprinklings of Mudita towards a very select, small, group that includes our close friends, those few relatives whom we actually like, and a handful of self deprecating acquaintances who work hard at pretending that they are one of us.

Schadenfreude, on the other hand, is liberally dispensed towards the vast majority of others..particularily the self indulgent, asshat entertainment and sports celebrities, politicians, and the uber rich 3% of the population who rub our noses in their excessive avaricial lifestyles.

I watched a show on Psychologist Paul Ekman and his work on studying the universality of Human Facial Expressions. Travel to any corner of the globe and you'll find that the every human face uses the same expressions for; anger/disgust/fear/happiness/sadness & surprise...big surprise eh?

Look at the list again and decide how many more of our universal expressions relate to Schadenfreude more than Mudita. It would appear that Schadenfreude has the edge. Whatever pond we're in, we want everybody to stay within our perception of equitable boundaries.

So if Life is unfair and yet we're taught from a very early age to play by the rules anyway, therefore it becomes painfully obvious why we blow a fuse when others disregard the perceived RULES of the societal equity contract. Road Rage is the most obvious evidence of the system breaking down and that is why some people go ballistic when others try to take advantage of them in traffic..

which is afterall simply a microcosmic metaphor of the Road Of Life.

Like most of you, I try to tame my SCHADENFREUDE.

Westminster Dog Show Anouncer:

Dog Number 293 The Schadenfreude.

This massive powerful Dog was bred in Germany to protect the ego and disembowel others who get ahead. The Schadenfreude is a "One Man Dog" and holds contempt for others. This headstrong giant must be kept on a tight leash and requires vigilant training or it will destroy your LIFE!

Number 293 the Schadenfreude.

Dog number 113 the Mudita.

The Mudita originated in India and was bred to please others and make us feel good inside. The Mudita is not a Toy it is a small working Dog and much more than just leash-candy. The Mudita is rare but brings pleasure to all with it's good natured personality. It's small stature makes it easy to care for and transport. The Mudita is gregarious and can be enjoyed by people of all ages.

Number 113 the Mudita.

So which of these Dogs do you unleash more often?

*Next week is another reading week so I'll be oot & aboot.

IZE IZE BABY!

By Professor Plotzenheimer


Homo Ezkapeonz haff a hard time getting zayr headz around der fact zat our planet iz very old. Der rezent threat uf global climate change needz to be viewed from a geologicalistical timeframe. Ven you look at a map of der vorld, try to recognize how rezent zis configuration really iz.

Ven ve are fretting about how ze polar regionz are melting ve need to focus on ze fackt zat Antarctica iz only 25 million yearz old, vich iz relatively new in geologicaliztical termz, zpezially ven you conzider zat der Eartt haz been around for 4.5 Billion yearz. Life on Eartt began in ze oceanz long before zer vaz any zurfaze land.

Around 750 MYA all of ze land zat had broken zrough der ozean zurfaz vas bunched up on ze ubercontinent known az Rodinia, zen fragmented und later rejoined az Pannotia 600 MYA ...

during vich time mozt of ze planet may haff been covered in a zheet of ize.

Ze lazt ubercontinent Pangaea formed 250 MYA.

Pangea zplit into Laurazia and Gondwana vich contained vat vould become Antarctica. Avrica und India broke hoff of vat iz now Antarctica about 160 MYA, und 40 MYA Auztralia vent valkabout. Ize covered ze entire continent 15 MYA.

Antarctica containz 90% of the world'z ize vich holdz 70% of the frezh vater. Iv it all melted der zea level vould rize 200 feet. Ze prezent pattern of ize agez began about 40 MYA und zen intenzified about 3MYA.

Ze polar regionz haf zinze undergone repeated zyclez of glaziation und thaw, repeating every 40–100,000 yearz, ze last ize age ended 10,000 yearz ago.

Zer haz been funf (5) mazz extinctionz zo far...99.9% of every livevorm zat haz ever exizted is now extinct.

Der current pozter zpeciez fur global varming iz der Polar Bear vich livz in ze North Pole...you knew zat right? Polar Bearz are a new creature zat evolved from der Brown Bear about 200,000 yearz ago and one of it'z anzeztorz haz already become extinct.

Zhould der klimatt continue to varm to ze point vere ze Polar Bear becomez unable to hunt Zealz on der pack ize, zen it too vill become extinct. It vill be anozer zpeciez in a long line of trial und error und temporary adaptationz zat have zukzeeded on Eartt.

Vhy our zpeciez iz zo konzeited to zink zat ve can schtop ze 6th extinzion level event iz beyond my kompvrehenzen. I'm not zuggezting zat ve schtop vasting, plundering und polluting..but ve do need to conzider der BIG picture.

If Gaia iz gearing up fur anozer houze kleaning, und conzider ze Permian Extinzion vhen 95% of everyzing perizhed, zen ve need to re-adjuzt our zinking capz.

Zome of uz may vitnezz ze demize of ze Polar Bear in zeir natural habitat..

zeir kick at ze can may zoon be up.

Unvortunately ze mozt obviouz meazure zat ve could introduze iz to zterilize our zpeciez fur a hundred yearz und reduze our numberz back to a population zat vould haff little or no effect ze environment....

zince ve von't do zat perhapz an azteroid kollizion, pandemic viral infeckzion or a manmade global nuklear var vill accomplizh ziz for uz?

Eizer vay ve need to akzept zat ve are zertainly not a forever zpeciez, perhapz viral life, but not uz homo ezkapeonz.

Klazz dizzmizzed und hab a nize day!

My OSCAR BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

During the last 2 weeks I have watched a few movies..

Slumdog Millionaire:

Fabulous underdog feelgood film..but you'll need a shower after watching it. Why does Hollywood always need to be reminded that the great unwashed love a happy ending..we don't need to go to movies to get depressed, we go to escape reality you twats!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:

Gumpian nostalgic date movie, I know that it's hard not to hate a guy like Brad who has it all (even his wife Angelina is nominated..COME ON!) but, he is the real deal. Pitt is a fine Actor (and not a Scientologist) so Hollywood needs to acknowledge him..look, his buddy George Clooney has Oscars and it's good for the Industry..

The Reader:

Painful perplexing protagonist angstfest..der kid should have been nominated too. Winslet's emotionally eviscerated character is a great performance because despite her obvious shortcomings, you don't ever forgive her or feel sorry for her. Face it, if a gal wants an Oscar, it always helps to get nekked! Ask fellow nominee Tomei.

W:

as in WTF?...infuriating father and son expose, still don't feel sorry for Dubya..how did he get elected? TWICE?! Again, you don't ever feel sorry for him even though you realise that he had people skills...he still should have never, EVER made it to the W House. Every American who voted for him should see this film and have their ass kicked as they leave the theatre.

Defiance:

Authentic WW2 survivalism..the true story type..maybe too authentic, you just wanna kill those miserable f*cking Nazis..and the f*cking Ruskies..and the f*cking collaborators! I kept wishing for Bond to show up and make it all the way to Berlin and assassinate Hitler...since Tom Cruise couldn't finish the job in Valkyrie..which I still want to see because Tom surrounded himself with an all star cast and who doesn't want to kill f*cking Hitler!?

Taken:

Awesome, awesome, awesome, kill 'em all Liam! Imagine Jason Bourne as a badass, gigantic, pissed-off angel of vengeance like Liam..very satisfying! Every Father needs to watch this how-to piece on protecting your children. Loved it!

Gran Turino:

YO! Da racist in the hood. Urban decay and the passing of an era combined with redemption. Now if only Harry Callahan lived nest door? Harry would have gong'd the Mong in the first half hour. Clint is gettin' old but he could still beat the sh*t out of you.

The Day The Earth Stood Still:

ET kick our ass! A misanthrope's wet dream..go ahead destroy the Humans they totally deserve it anyway. Even though Keanu never says "woh!" like he has in every other movie, the script does a good job of making us Earthlings look like twats...unfortunately the audience actually wants the Earthlings to perish.

Australia:

Saturday Afternoon Matinee style quirky mix of campy stereotypes and slick special effects..Nicole is so beautiful and Hugh Jackman is so handsome! It's over-the-top but it buckles down and you will need Kleenex. Hoorah for the Aborigenes and their mysticism, talk about your Karmic Boomerang.

The Wrestler:

You just know that his world is goin' down for the count! Not sure that Rourke was actually acting or if he IS the Ram? Marisa Tomei is delicious..I take back everything I said about her Vinny Oscar....if she'll give me a lap dance?

I would also like to see Frost/Nixon, Valkyrie, and Doubt before the Oscars "err" on Sunday.

The only sure bet on Sunday is that Heath Ledger will win a well deserved Best Supporting Oscar..his Joker was the best movie villain since Hopkin's Hannibal Lecter and Raif Fiennes's Amon Goeth. The more layered, complex & greyer the villain the better the odds of winning. ..as opposed to cardboard cutout villains like Austrailyer's Cattle Baron...booo hisss boo!

As far as Oscar nods go, the Academy prefers uber-villains and nothing trumps Nazis. This is why Winslet's autopilot death camp robotron is also a fairly safe bet.

And this Sunday the Oscar goes to...

Picture Slumdog

Actress Winslet

Supporting Actress Tomei

Actor Pitt

Supporting Ledger

Director Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire)

Animated WALL-E*

Imagine R2D2 falling in love and saving the world?

The story is a misanthrope's wet dream that correctly predicts and exposes how fat, lazy, stupid, and useless, Humans will become. A must see for all of the modern couch-potato "gamer" kids.

The perennial, exhaustive, ceremony will be too long which is a shame because we don't really care about the Sound or Editing or Special Effects or Song (they have Grammys) so the whole thing could actually be over in an hour.

Anyway, will be hard to ever top the streaker and David Niven and puhleeze, no political crap...and don't thank everyone that you ever met.

Didn't any of these people ever hear Olivier's profound pronouncement on the essence of being an Actor?!

So...Do you have any predictions?

ON THE DESCENT OF MAN
AT THE ASSEND OF CIVILIZATION

My Word! by Lord Tennisanyone

As many of you are well aware, February 12th marks the birthdate of my dear friend Charlie Darwin.

Thank God that he is not alive today to see what has become of his theory. The Evolutionary forces of Nature which once selected traits that gave an advantage to intelligent creatures seems to have ground to a halt...atleast those concerning Homo Escapeons!

Our species is descending with such ferocity that I fear we may be approaching the assend of Mankind and Civilization. It would have broken poor Charlie's heart to witness the Assend Of Man.

For instance, in 1999 A&E Biography polled more than 360 journalists, scholars, and political leaders and asked them to vote for the One Hundred Most INFLUENTIAL men and women who had done the most to shape the modern world.

Obviously most, if not all, of those surveyed were American, many were apparently under the influence of a controlled substance, while others seem to possess an encyclopedic ignorance of how "Our World" came into being.

That being said, compare it to the Forbes 100 Most Influential Celebrities (2008) list compiled a mere ten years later. If you thought that the Biography list was misguided, misinformed and disheartening, then prepare to tear the clothes off of your back and sprinkle dirt on your head at the shameful state of what modern man worships most..the Celebrity.

Behold the hodgepodgery of the obvious and obtuse, as chosen by the oblivious.

BIOGRAPHY 1999 FORBES 2008

1 Johann Gutenberg...Oprah Winfrey

2 Isaac Newton...Tiger Woods

3 Martin Luther..Angelina Jolie

4 Charles Darwin..Beyonce Knowles

5 William Shakespeare...David Beckham

6 Christopher Columbus...Jonny Depp

7 Karl Marx...Jay Z

8 Albert Einstein...The Police

9 Nicolaus Copernicus...J.K.Rowling

10 Galileo...Brad Pitt

11 Leonardo Da Vinci..Will Smith

12 Sigmund Freud...Justin Timberlake

13 Louis Pasteur...Steven Spielberg

14 Thomas Edison...Cameron Diaz

15 Thomas Jefferson...David Latterman

16 Adolf Hitler...LeBron James

17 Mahatma Gandhi...Jennifer Aniston

18 John Locke...Michael Jordan

19 Michelangelo...Kobe Bryant

20 Adam Smith...Phil Mickerson

21 George Washington...Madonna

22 Genghis Khan...Simon Cowell

23 Abraham Lincoln...Roger Federer

24 Thomas Aquinas...Alex Rodriguez

25 James Watt...Jerry Seinfeld

26 Amadeus Mozart...50 Cent

27 Napoleon Bonaparte...Kanye West

28 Johann Sebastian Bach...Celine Dion

29 Henry Ford...Bruce Willis

30 Ludwig Van Beethoven...Dr Phil McGraw

31 Watson & Crick...Tom Cruise

32 Descartes...Jay Leno

33 Martin Luther King Jr....Sean Diddy Combs

34 Jean Jacques Rousseau...Stephen King

35 Vladimir Lenin...Miley Cyrus

36 Alexander Fleming...Kimi Raikkonen

37 Voltaire...Jeff Gordon

38 Francis Bacon....Ronaldinho

39 Dante Alighieri...Shaquille O'Neal

40 Wright Brothers...Judge Judy Sheindlin

41 Bill Gates...Howard Stern

42 Gregor Mendel....Tyler Perry

43 Mao Zedong...Fernando Alonso

44 Alexander Graham Bell...Leonardo Di Caprio

45 William the Conqueror...Donald Trump

46 Niccolo Machiavelli...George Lucas

47 Charles Babbage...Keira Knightley

48 Mary Wollstonecraft...Jerry Bruckheimer

49 Mikhail Gorbachev...Nicholas Cage

50 Margaret Sanger...The Spice Girls

51 Edward Jenner...Matt Damon

52 Winston Churchill..Dale Earnhart Jr

53 Marie Curie...Bon Jovi

54 Marco Polo...Jennifer Lopez

55 Ferdinand Magellan...Ben Stiller

56 Elizabeth Cady Stanton...Kevin Garnett

57 Elvis Presley...Nicole Kidman

58 Joan of Arc...James Patterson

59 Immanuel Kant...Rush Limbaugh

60 Franklin D. Roosevelt...Reese Witherspoon

61 Michael Faraday...Maria Sharapova

62 Walt Disney...Ryan Seacrest

63 Jane Austen...Gwen Stefani

64 Pablo Picasso...Daniel Radcliffe

65 Werner Heisenberg...Alicia Keyes

66 D.W. Griffith...Gisele Bundchen

67 Vladimir Zworykin...Gwynyth Paltrow

68 Benjamin Franklin...Tyra Banks

69 William Harvey...Serena Williams

70 Pope Gregory Vll...Eva Longoria

71 Harriet Tubman...Ellen DeGeneres

72 Simon Bolivar...Sarah Jessica Parker

73 Princess Diana...Katherine Heigl

74 Enrico Fermi...Regis Filbin

75 Gregory Pincus...Tom Clancy

76 The Beatles...Rachel Ray

77 Thomas Hobbes...Cate Blanchett

78 Queen Isabella...Heidi Klum

79 Joseph Stalin...Carrie Underwood

80 Elizabeth I...Jon Stewart

81 Nelson Mandela...Justine Henin

82 Niels Bohr...Judd Apatow

83 Peter the Great of Russia...Kate Moss

84 Guglielmo Marconi...Patrick Dempsey

85 Ronald Reagan...Charlie Sheen

86 James Joyce...Drew Carey

87 Rachel Carson...Steve Carell

88 J. Robert Oppenheimer...Lorena Ochoa

89 Susan B. Anthony...Jonas Brothers

90 Louis Daguerre...Howie Mandel

91 Steven Speielberg...Wolfgang Puck

92 Florence Nightingale...Zac Effron

93 Eleanor Roosevelt...Annika Sorenstam

94 Patient Zero...Ashley Tisdale

95 Charlie Chaplin...Gordon Ramsay

96 Enrico Caruso...Jennifer Love Hewitt

97 Jonas Salk...Lauren Conrad

98 Louis Armstrong ...Vanessa Williams

99 Vasco Da Gama...Tina Fey

100 Suleiman I...Paula Dean

Aside from the obvious asshattery of trying to compile such a list, the sad truth is that most modern Homo Escapeons will prolly recognise more blue names than on the first list....which seemed woefully inadequate but now in comparison appears to have been compiled at a Mensa meeting!

I must confess that I'm an old codger and getting a little grumpier every week, but thank goodness poor Charlie isn't here to see this.

Name one person missing from either list...

WE LOVE COINKY-DINKS!

POP QUIZ:

Having been elected to Congress in '46 then the White House in '60, which American President, while sitting beside his French speaking Wife in public on a Friday, was shot in the head, by an assassin with three names that contain 15 letters, and was succeeded by Vice President Johnson?

If you answered John F. Kennedy OR Abraham Lincoln, you were right.

The Lincoln/Kennedy coinky-dink is one of my favorite urban legend conspiracy theories. You can check it out HERE.

The latest add-on is the one month earlier Lincoln was in Monroe Maryland and Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe!

I just finished viewing The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln on PBS .

What an amazing story...and now another Congessman from Illinois is the President. Apparently the new President is a HUGE fan and swore his oath upon the same Bible that Mr. Lincoln used at the Ceremony and even ordered the same post-inaugural lunch!

I am absolutely certain that other links are inevitable.

Why do we Homo Escapeons love coinky-dinks?

I believe that we are always looking for patterns so that we can construct a mental template that might help make some sense out of the apparent randomness of life...

cue Twilight Zone theme;

doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo

I need to know if you have recently heard of any new coinky-dink urban legendy thingamabobs or tell me about the jaw-dropping bombshell that you are currently developing on your own!

PICTURE PERFECT PITCH everytime?

We live in a world of Lies...meh, you call that news?

That's not news to any of you because we are all well aware that evolutionary forces make us accomplices. We collude with liars because our brains are programmed to lie to ourselves and others by the age of 4.

I had the pleasure of watching The Truth About Liars...it was fascinating..and I'm not lying..check it out HERE .

"The Truth About Liars concludes with one essential choice we all face -

do we want to live a trusting life and risk being misled,

or be suspicious and risk disbelieving those who are telling the truth?"

Rated on integrity, commitment to promises and reliability, here is the list that the Producers presented regarding Occupational Trustworthiness:

Firefighters 93%
Nurses 87%
Doctors 80%
Police 69%
Teachers 69%
Armed Forces 65%
Judges 52%
Financial Advisors 47%
Plumbers 39%
Real Estate Agents 28%
Journalists 26%
Lawyers 25%
CEOs 21%
National Politicans & Car Salespeople 7%

I would add Bloggers at 100%!

If you have ever used Photoshop or a similar program you know that you can create very convincing images, my dragonhorse thingamabob or the wood-choppens deception in my previous post are poor examples but there are other more technically proficient manipulators out there who can fool your peepers.

Which is why I don't believe anything that I see.

If you've been to a Movie Theatre in the last 20 years you are well aware that you can't believe your eyes anymore..seeing is NOT believing. Special effects wizards can perform virtual miracles. I keep this in mind whenever I watch the News on TV.

So we cannot trust our eyes OR our ears.

I have no idea of knowing how many modern recording artists make use of AUTO-TUNE which is sneaky software that provides pitch correction, timing, vibrato depth, and timbral variation, and allows ANY singer to sound perfect in the studio and during "LIVE" performances.

Personally I would not feel cheated at a concert if they were auto-tuning because if I paid $200 I expect the artist to sound amazing even if they've been on tour for the last three decades.

Believe it or not, some "singers" no longer attempt to disguise this practice.

So, if we cannot rely on our eyes and ears, we had better make damn sure that our nose still knows when we smell a rat or utter bullsh*t!

Homo Escapeons desperately need to fine-tune their Extrasensory Perception (ESP). "The ability to acquire information by paranormal means independent of any known physical senses or deduction from previous experience" needs to become standard operating equipment for modern 21st Century Earthlings.

Just exactly how awesome is your BS detector? How about your other forms of ESP? Can you still smell a rat? Are you a sucker or a deceiver? How much of your Blogospherian persona is LYING?

Don't Lie!