Monday, February 16, 2009

During the last 2 weeks I have watched a few movies..

Slumdog Millionaire:

Fabulous underdog feelgood film..but you'll need a shower after watching it. Why does Hollywood always need to be reminded that the great unwashed love a happy ending..we don't need to go to movies to get depressed, we go to escape reality you twats!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:

Gumpian nostalgic date movie, I know that it's hard not to hate a guy like Brad who has it all (even his wife Angelina is nominated..COME ON!) but, he is the real deal. Pitt is a fine Actor (and not a Scientologist) so Hollywood needs to acknowledge him..look, his buddy George Clooney has Oscars and it's good for the Industry..

The Reader:

Painful perplexing protagonist angstfest..der kid should have been nominated too. Winslet's emotionally eviscerated character is a great performance because despite her obvious shortcomings, you don't ever forgive her or feel sorry for her. Face it, if a gal wants an Oscar, it always helps to get nekked! Ask fellow nominee Tomei.


as in WTF?...infuriating father and son expose, still don't feel sorry for did he get elected? TWICE?! Again, you don't ever feel sorry for him even though you realise that he had people skills...he still should have never, EVER made it to the W House. Every American who voted for him should see this film and have their ass kicked as they leave the theatre.


Authentic WW2 survivalism..the true story type..maybe too authentic, you just wanna kill those miserable f*cking Nazis..and the f*cking Ruskies..and the f*cking collaborators! I kept wishing for Bond to show up and make it all the way to Berlin and assassinate Hitler...since Tom Cruise couldn't finish the job in Valkyrie..which I still want to see because Tom surrounded himself with an all star cast and who doesn't want to kill f*cking Hitler!?


Awesome, awesome, awesome, kill 'em all Liam! Imagine Jason Bourne as a badass, gigantic, pissed-off angel of vengeance like Liam..very satisfying! Every Father needs to watch this how-to piece on protecting your children. Loved it!

Gran Turino:

YO! Da racist in the hood. Urban decay and the passing of an era combined with redemption. Now if only Harry Callahan lived nest door? Harry would have gong'd the Mong in the first half hour. Clint is gettin' old but he could still beat the sh*t out of you.

The Day The Earth Stood Still:
ET kick our ass! A misanthrope's wet dream..go ahead destroy the Humans they totally deserve it anyway. Even though Keanu never says "woh!" like he has in every other movie, the script does a good job of making us Earthlings look like twats...unfortunately the audience actually wants the Earthlings to perish.

Saturday Afternoon Matinee style quirky mix of campy stereotypes and slick special effects..Nicole is so beautiful and Hugh Jackman is so handsome! It's over-the-top but it buckles down and you will need Kleenex. Hoorah for the Aborigenes and their mysticism, talk about your Karmic Boomerang.

The Wrestler:
You just know that his world is goin' down for the count! Not sure that Rourke was actually acting or if he IS the Ram? Marisa Tomei is delicious..I take back everything I said about her Vinny Oscar....if she'll give me a lap dance?

I would also like to see Frost/Nixon, Valkyrie, and Doubt before the Oscars "err" on Sunday.

The only sure bet on Sunday is that Heath Ledger will win a well deserved Best Supporting Oscar..his Joker was the best movie villain since Hopkin's Hannibal Lecter and Raif Fiennes's Amon Goeth. The more layered, complex & greyer the villain the better the odds of winning. opposed to cardboard cutout villains like Austrailyer's Cattle Baron...booo hisss boo!

As far as Oscar nods go, the Academy prefers uber-villains and nothing trumps Nazis. This is why Winslet's autopilot death camp robotron is also a fairly safe bet.

And this Sunday the Oscar goes to...

Picture Slumdog
Actress Winslet
Supporting Actress Tomei
Actor Pitt
Supporting Ledger
Director Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire)

Animated WALL-E*

Imagine R2D2 falling in love and saving the world?
The story is a misanthrope's wet dream that correctly predicts and exposes how fat, lazy, stupid, and useless, Humans will become. A must see for all of the modern couch-potato "gamer" kids.

The perennial, exhaustive, ceremony will be too long which is a shame because we don't really care about the Sound or Editing or Special Effects or Song (they have Grammys) so the whole thing could actually be over in an hour.
Anyway, will be hard to ever top the streaker and David Niven and puhleeze, no political crap...and don't thank everyone that you ever met.
Didn't any of these people ever hear Olivier's profound pronouncement on the essence of being an Actor?!
So...Do you have any predictions?


  1. I predict that some will win and I think that is fairly predicitable.

    I am with you about "The Joker" being the best villian I have seen in ages.

  2. I'm woefully pathetic with new movies. I've seen Wall-E, Taken and Batman. All three of which I enjoyed.

    I'm not sure if I can take another award show watching all those rich folk pat themselves on the back. Really, donate all the money that will be spent on it to something that will actually benefit the country instead of their over inflated egos.

  3. Saw many of them, thought much the same. Question, though...when you say about Kate Winslet in The Reader "...besides her shortcomings...". Did you mean Winslet's or the character's? I thought Winslet did a marvelous job.

  4. I'm with you all the way except Slumdog Millionaire getting best picture...

    wanna bet?

  5. The only one I care about this year is Ledger.

  6. Okay, so I am a loser... I have seen none of these films. I just don't go to the cinema by myself. Guess I will have to rent the dvd's or watch them on pay per view.

    Which means I will actually have to sit down and watch tv....

    So I have no opinions to offer. How pathetic is that?

  7. SNAKEY Very astute observation..Ledger absolutely nailed it and stole the show. A veritable tour de force that will be on highlighht reels forever.

    HOODCHICK If only 2 billion people could be interested in something more important but it only proves my premise of homo escapeons..we want to escape reality and the ultimate shared experience of that is watching movies. For whatever it's worth, this is where we are at.

    GILLETTE No Winslet was fantabulous..I saw an interview with her and she was concerned about making the character Human without procuring empathy for her actions. How do you do that? I don't know how, but she did it.
    She deserves the award.

    KATHERINE You're going with Buttons then? I can see that but Slumdog has a wider appeal and is more dramatic and it has the universal elements of the orphan rising to to the top...Button was a very good movie but it was very Americana. It will be close but the trade off will be giving Brad the Oscar.

    XL I still remember the posthumous award that Peter Finch received for Network..which was a great morality play on pap culture.
    Heath was the genuine article and it won't be the sentimental value that gives him the edge..that is one of the greatest feats of acting that we've seen in there are way more movies released these days so that makes it even more amazing.

    PONITA It prolly means that you spend more time in the real world..go you! I don't read novels so movies are my thing..I love movies.

  8. //but, he is the real deal. Pitt is a fine Actor (and not a Scientologist) so // amen. i mean short pretty boy tom was so good in his olden movies...cocktail, etc...but then came the downfall. im all for pitt.

    not a big fan of slumdog, india makes 900 movies of slumdog type a year. jst happens that this one is directed by our brit friend who is totally wasted after trainspotting.

    and how the fck dare they snub batman and nolan. come on. oscars this year might give 10 statues to slumdog and then ask for money from india to make movies. jsut like they gave all those missus universus to them to sell cosmetics. bla bla bla economics.

    hugs brotah!

  9. *flicks popcorn at XL's head*

    What do I have to do to get some Golden Topping around here?

  10. I LOVE the Oscars!

    Too bad Dolly won't be performing this year.

    I really want to watch Australia. Baz is brilliant.

  11. Yet to see any of these films - no multiplex in Orkney yet - but I do predict that, having had the piss ripped out of her by just about everyone in Britain for the Golden Globes, Winslet will not blub.

  12. I am a slave to Murdoch and wait until films come on his movie channels before I watch them.
    I still haven't seen a good comedy film since Naked Gun part 3.
    Have you done a good lol at any films that you might recommend?

  13. As Olivier said... as with most good things, it's all to do with technique....

  14. I usually end up seeing one or two current film releases a year (usually around Oscar time actually).

    Regardless of this, I want Kate Winslett and Mickey Rourke to win gongs just for the hell of it.

  15. You'll have to develop yet another new character, a movie reviewer, to go with your collection.

    You must still be getting into the movie theatre for free with your daughter, or getting pirated versions from your techno-friend.

    Me, I'm just waiting for Religulous or whatever Bill Mahrer's movie is to come out on DVD today.

  16. gotta agree on heath. i watched that movie over christmas expecting nothing. NOTHING. and the man flat FREAKED ME OUT like i haven't been freaked out since watching 'Hellraiser 2' during the 'brain Bamix' scene. I was genuinely horrified. and you simply could not look away from the guy any time he was onscreen. absolutely amazing job of acting, particularly when you consider that he'd always been given trivial prettyboy parts up until then.

  17. You had me at "not a scientologist." :)

  18. i LOVE your choices dude- i'm right with you on all of them except that i haven't seen slumdog yet!!

  19. The Oscars are a very expensive way for all the "stars" to congratulate themselves on how many members of the great unwashed they managed to hoodwink into seeing their films. What a load of......... :)

  20. I loved Grand Torino.

    and I think that's the only one on your impressive list that I've seen.

  21. You got nearly all of mine I could never say Mickey Rourke as he is IRA supporting scum and Ledger is dead, like when Princess Di got all those flowers and stuffed animals what good are they? we only differ on the supporting actor as I have Downey Jr just out of good sense.

  22. when are the oscars, sugar? ;) xoxox

  23. Ha! I see you've posted your Knudsen Award.

    Well deserved, I must say.

    Hey, there's Savannah! Hi gal!

  24. Get off my Nasturiums!

    I haven't seen grand tornado and sort of feel I all ready have.

  25. ha ha, Andrea...same here.

    And now I have a list. I always forget what I'm supposed to go see.


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