Monday, November 09, 2009

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE "WHETHER"

We're Climate Primates



We Earthlings love to talk about the weather. It is a unifying and universal  "safe" topic because it affects us equally and determines how we survive. 
Scientists are now uncovering evidence that the weather was the catalyst that propelled Humans to become bipedal problem-solving omnivores.

The biggest obstacle preventing us from working together is the hardwired impetus of our natural inclinations to dominate other groups and steal their resources.
One of the primary weapons in our arsenal has been religion.

In the grand scale of our arrival, religion is a very recent invention. Our petulant narsecissim demands some cosmological structure..a reason for "being" and an order of where we fit in. All of the geographically oriented gods were invented to justify that specific group's concept of it's superiority over the animal kingdom and other humans.

The pantheon of gods always reflected the geographic and climatic peculiarities of their territory. What surprises me, well sort of, is how unwilling most modern humans are to abandon the supserstitions of their ancestors? 

I understand the psychological Fear...the thought that we don't fit in, the Universe just IS, and that there may very well be nothing after DEATH, are all anathema to our being special.



Even though we now have so much convincing evidence of the How?What?When?Where? and Why? we humans became the dominant species, the majority refuse to forsake the relics of our struggle to eliminate or dominate and enslave others.


At the moment I'm following two episodic TV shows;
 BECOMING HUMAN &
 DARWIN'S Brave New World


Charles Darwin was devastated when his daughter Annie died from tuberculosis in 1851.

It was the last spike in the coffin of his dwindling Faith and enough to dissolve his fears of publishing his theory of Natural Selection; that all species of life have evolved over time from common ancestors.
Victorian England was NOT amused and even the Scientific Community was still in the vice-like grip of the Biblical Creationists.

Darwin "could not see the work of an omnipotent deity in all the pain and suffering such as the ichneumon wasp paralysing caterpillars as live food for its eggs." In the program Richard Dawkins opines that the death of his beloved Annie pushed him over the edge.

Fast-forward a Century to present day and we discover that the majority of Humans still believe that they are "magical/special Creations" and vastly superior to the other members of the animal kingdom.  

Others cautiously sit on the fence and imagine themselves as a kind of APEGEL..part mystical being with an eternal soul carried around in a mortal-physical package which is disturbingly similar to simians.



What really may have "created" us was the weather.

Recent discoveries have uncovered evidence of extreme climatic fluctuations in Africa where homo sapeins were forming. By then our ancestors had split from our nearest cousins 3 million years earlier and several prototypes of people had taken shape. The winner was the line that was the most adaptable. The extra protein acquired from scavenging bone marrow and meat from other carnivores probably sped up the process of growing bigger brains.

Africa was once a huge tropical rainforest but it has been drying up for 10 million years. Encroaching savannahs provided new opportunities and walking upright not only better visibility and protection from predators, but it freed up the hands. Walking is also far more efficient than knuckling.


Our brains began to expand to allow for more problem solving and our hands gave us a leg up on the other apes. Evidence of dramatic shifts between drought and deluge forced the early Humans to think up ways to acquire food and avoid predation.



This version certainly isn't as sexy or special as the garden of Eden myth. Since the time that humans invented their regionally-specific gods we have been at war trying to establish dominance over territorial ownership of goods and services.

Darwin was well aware that his discovery would spark a never-ending schism in society. I am shocked, well sort of, that so many people in the 21st Century still exist with the notion that there is a Creation-EVEsolution_controversy ?

This controversy is virtually none existant in the scientific community and most people who are literate and have access to this information are slowly coming around...but travel around the globe and you'll find that most Earthlings are still enslaved by a handful of self-appointed, fear-mongering, zealots who wield their authority based on religious precepts.

I'm old enough to know that achieving "World Peace" is impossible. Even without the intrusion of religion and all of it's divisive devices the natural instincts of our ancestors that we carry in our programming make it impossible to stop coveting our neighbour's natural resources and their goods and services.



That's why it's easier to just talk about the weather :)  

Friday, November 06, 2009

HOT DAMN!



If you want to be loved and financially rewarded by the most loyal music fans in the biggest music market on Earth,



then y'er gonna want to be a Country Music Star in America!
 


Country music ain't nuthin' to sneeze at in Canada and Australia neither.



Here's a chart of the biggest Music Markets in the world.



In the USofA there are 2,014 Radio Stations playin' Country and 1,323 playin' Rock n Roll in 2009. 



Yessiree Bob that's 77 million adult listeners ever' week...



and 42% of them now have interwebs access!



Now you might not think that songs 'bout drinkin' & cheatin' & horses & more drinkin' ain't entertainin', exhortin', comfortin', & psychologically fulfilling enuff to fill stadiums and sell million$ of CD$...



but you'd be wrong.



I figur'd that I'd hitch my horse to that wagon and try to become the next Garth Brooks?



If you've been livin' on the Moon for the past 20 years, Brooks is the feller what sold 220 Million Singles & Albums in the USofA..



second only to the Beatles.



Now I already have a few songs "in the can" and just recorded a couple more to be shipped off to them thar 2,000 country rodeo..I mean radio, Stations.



Hell, how hard can it be?



Wednesday, November 04, 2009

PRINCE CHARLING

Error to the throne Prince Charles, is here in the Colonies to settle a delicate political matter.  Charles has a bone to pick with our sexy Governor General Michaëlle Jean.














Apparently our delightful "GG" Michaëlle Jean, (pronounced Mick-ale Jzuhn) misspoke when she told foreigners abroad that she was Canada's head of state.

I forget now, but I think that the head of state is either the Queen, or the Governor General, or both, or maybe the Prime Minister or the Minister of Fisheries?
I'm not certain if that's ever been decided? 


(*smuggling peanuts is Cockney slang for visible nippleage)

I'm kidding.

The title rightly belongs to Prince Charles's Mumsies, Queen Elizabeth,
who is QUEEN of the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica, Barbados, the Bahamas, Grenada, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Belize, Antigua and Barbuda, Saint Kitts & Nevis, Uranus & Saturn.



This week whilst visiting the Colonies at the pleasure of Canadian taxpayers, Charles met with our GG "Micky", as he calls her, to sort out this unpleasantness and secure his future as King of all those countries.




He will become KING providing that he can somehow outlive his mother who also happens to be the 13th richest Royal in the world @ $400MillionUS.

There have been other Charles in charge...











for instance..




The "third" bonnie King Charles was a foreign poseur and pretender to the throne..
unlike King Charles the Spaniel who ruled England for over 15 years until he was tragically run over by horse drawn carriage?



Did you know that when and if Charles ass-ends to the throne, he has the option of becoming either;
King Charles 3rd,
George 7th,  
King Phillips Screwdriver 
or better yet,
King Bloody Arthur!?

He can pick any one of his names?
Look, don't ask me how the bloody thing works?



That being said, Charles is prolly most famous for being a bit-of-a-Ladiesman.



To be fair, the poor bastard has lived his entire life under a microscope in a fish bowl and therefore his troubled romantic sexscapades have been fodder for the tabloids for 5 decades.

Whom amongst us can forget his Fairy Tale Wedding to Princess Dian-er way back in 1881?



Diana of course referred to his family as "the Germans" because Charles Phillip Arthur George nee-Mountbatten "WINDSOR",
is descended from the European Royal Household and Accountancy Firm of Oldenburg-Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg & Glücksburg.

Nevermind that twaddle.



What most people will remember of Charles is his lovelife, especially those well-documented phone transcripts.



Do you recall those exquisitly romantic, sweet-nothings he made to his then secret consort and now much maligned new wife, Camilla, Douchess of Cornhole?

btw: Camiller's great, great grandmother was the consort of Charles's great-great grandfather AND
according to her Wiki bio, that she is related to Celine Dion and Madonna..
9th cousin once removed..isn't that special?  :)


Transcript: Future King of England to then secret lover Camiller Parky'er Bowler:
"I want to feel my way along you, all over you and up and down you and in and out.
Oh God, I'll just live inside your trousers or something --
it would be much easier."

Camiller:
"Oh, you're going to come back as a pair of knickers?"

Future King O' England:
"Or, God forbid, a Tampax.
Just my luck!"

Camiller:
"You are a complete idiot!
Oh, what a wonderful idea."



Now the 18 1/2  members of the Canadian Monarchist Society may have their knickers in a knot over who is getting "head" of state, but as this article  in "The Guardian" suggests, most of the Canadians polled would rather have a Loon.