Whateverpeg Woodfrog Jumpin Dudes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geography_and_climate_of_Winnipeg
According to Wikipedia:

"Whateverpeg is the coldest city in the world with a population of over 600,000...
600,000 what?

Are they referring to the 600,000 mosquitoes per square inch in Summer or the 600,000 consequtive hours of watching The Young and the Restless during the Winter?

"The coldest temperature during the last 25 years was -41.7 °C (-43.1 °F) on February 5, 2007.

The highest temperature (since 1873) was 42.2 °C (108 °F) on July 11, 1936."

The Köppen Climate Classification has our city pegged as an extreme Humid Continental Climate despite the fact that it is in the Warm Summer Continental or Hemiboreal climates in the high 40s and low 50s in latitude in North America,

The Coppens Climate Classification rating would have Whateverpeg rated as an Equatorial Polar Climate because our temperatures range 100 degrees!
40 above to 40 below!

That's just wrong on so many levels.

Living in such a challenging enviwrongment is unusual and people from other parts of the world always ask me,

"Dude, what the hell happens to all of the Frogs in the Winter?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wood_Frog

Like the rest of us the Frogs nearly freeze to death.

"As the Wood Frog slowly freezes over several hours, it pumps large amounts of its anti-freeze into its cells.
Gradually it stops breathing, its heart stops, its brain activity ceases but its cells don't freeze. Come Spring when the land thaws (we say un-thaws) so does it's body. Within an hour or two a Wood Frog will recover."

Then it starts mating like there is no tomorrow

..hence the name, the Wood Frog.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/video/3209/q05.html

This miraculous adaptation is what convinced hundreds of people like Ted Williams (Baseball Player) to have their brain frozen in the hope that one day in the future they can be thawed and start mating like there is no tomorrow.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcor_Life_Extension_Foundation

The process is known as Neurovitrification or as I like to call it, a Neurofrickinvacation.
Whatever!?
Brain freezing is practiced by nearly everyone in Whateverpeg.

We are the Slurpee Capital of Canada!

Here is the proof..so nyeh..

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1121124289627_30/?hub=Canada

Whateverpeg even has a Television Station WWJD TV, that does nothing but broadcast up-to-the-minute information (24/7) on Woodfrogs and Brain Freeze.

For more information you can contact them at the Whateverpeg Woodfrog Jumpin Dudes.

What would you do in this enviwrongment?

Vaswrecktomy 101
The vasectomy is now mandatory in Canada for any male who has reached the age of 50. This Law was introduced in the North American Free Trade Agreement as a measure to ensure that our general population collapses and makes it easier for the Americans to invade and take all of our fresh water and maple syrup.

The vasectomy was first introduced by the Vandals when they ‘sacked’ Rome in 455. These first attempts were crude in execution and the Italian preference for singing Opera in a Falsetto was born soon after.

Following a precipitous plunge in population the Vatican relented and prescribed the rhythm method as the new form of birth control. The rhythm method being that a man and a woman were rhythmically conjoined at the same speed, on the same day and in the same general vicinity: usually every second Wednesday Night.

Although the Priests, sworn to master..I mean celebate lives, were unaware of the mechanics of heterosexual reproduction, however they accidentally discovered that a Bull who had been whacked in the scrotum with a large, blunt, shovel, was unable to runaway as fast when it was time to be ‘milked’, and for whatever reason it could no longer reproduce.
This opened up all sorts of possibilities.

Of course these days a vasectomy is a ridiculously simple ten minute procedure that can be performed by a drunk, blind, chimpanzee armed only with a rusty lid from any number of canned goods found in the local grocery store.

The most important aspect is to ensure that the man’s ‘swimmers’, tiny miniature versions of the man with tails for motility, are all blocked from escaping a special containment area which extends down into both legs and a large portion of the man’s belly.


Two thirds of the sperm is useless anyway because they are exclusively designed to kill the sperm from other males which may have been deposited in their wife’s swimsuit area while he was at work.

Since most couples both work outside of the home and are too tired to have sex this is no longer a concern.

To ensure that the swimmers are blocked from ever escaping (they eventually degrade and become brain cells that are used exclusively to store scores from sporting events) extreme measures are taken to count the swimmers in the man’s test sample.

These samples must be made prior to the operation and subsequent testing is done manually or orally in the clinic for a few weeks to ensure that the man is now legally infertile, emasculated, and completely useless.

Here in our extremely cold environment, special precautions are taken to gather these delicate samples within 30 minutes. Exposure to oxygen and cold temperatures are a death sentence for the swimmers so special organ transplant teams are flown in by helicopter to collect the samples. Naturally the men are generally too tired after depositing and will either have a nap or start looking for something to eat in the fridge.

Two thirds of these samples are sold to pharmaceutical companies or turned into Instant Pancake Batter. The remaining portion is tested by hundreds of dedicated professional lab technicians who have been rescued ..er recruited, from Eastern European Brothels.

According to Urban Legend, these skilled professionals, or ‘pros’, can count the number of swimmers on their tongue and ‘guesstimate’ the number of actual impregnators. Though the actual methods are closely guarded trade secrets, rumors persist that the killers and blockers are apparently drawn to the cheeks and tonsils and that it is pretty much a no-brainer.

Either way, once a large hole has been drilled and sliced into the scrotum and the second brain has been removed, it is safe for the man to resume conjugal relations with his spouse, mistress, or favorite lab technician, within hours of the procedure.

The chance of impregnating any females or other bipedal relatives is greatly reduced by the painful swelling , odd discolouration, debilitating self loathing, and incessant chafing incurred by the drooping scrotum.

So I’m sure that it will be a great relief to finally quit thinking about sex. I will finally have a lot of free time on my hands for Blogging. WooHoo!

Oh-oh, I can hear the Helicopter landing on the roof… gotta go!

Have a lash..


http://youtube.com/watch?v=pMcfrLYDm2U

They forgot to mention how much of cyberspace is wasted ...

what's your estimate? 90%?

Once the powers that be have access to every set of eyeballs on the planet, it will be like shooting fish in a barrel!

Any chance that any significant change may come about from the Information Revvolution or will the 'MAN' always stay one step in front of the great unwashed and manipulate this technology?

IT'S ABOUT TIME,

IT'S ABOUT SPACE...

Can you recall the last time that the universe stood still,

and you realised that your Life,

was never, EVER, going to get any better,

than it was at that exact moment?

SING-A-LONG FOLKS...
HOME ON THE RANGE

1876 original version..

Oh, give me a home, where the buffalo roam,

Where the deer and the antelope play,

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,

And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Chorus:

Home, home on the range,

Where the deer and the antelope play,

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,

And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Oh! give me a gale of the Solomon vale,
Where the life streams with buoyancy flow;
On the banks of the Beaver, where seldom if ever,
Any poisonous herbage doth grow.

Oh, give me the hills and the ring of the drills
And the rich silver ore in the ground;
Yes, give me the gulch where the miner can sluice
And the bright, yellow gold can be found.

Oh, give me the mine where the prospectors find
The gold in its own native land;
And the hot springs below where the sick people go
And camp on the banks of the Grande.

Oh, give me the steed and the gun that I need
To shoot game for my own cabin home;
Then give me the camp where the fire is the lamp
And the wild Rocky Mountains to roam.

1904

Where the air is so pure, the zephyrs so free,

The breezes so balmy and light,

That I would not exchange my home on the range

For all the cities so bright

Oh, give me a land, where the bright diamond sand

Flows leisurely down the stream;

Where the graceful white swan goes gliding along

Like a maid in a heavenly dream.

1910

The red man was pressed from this part of the West
He's likely no more to return,
To the banks of Red River where seldom if ever
Their flickering camp-fires burn.

How often at night when the heavens are bright
With the light from the glittering stars
Have I stood here amazed and asked as I gazed
If their glory exceeds that of ours.

BUT

Then I would not exchange my home on the range,

Where the deer and the antelope play;

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word

And the skies are not cloudy all day.

YEE-HAW!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home_on_the_range

POST #300

I always look forward to receiving my copy of PSYCHOLOGY TODAY.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/

Deciphering the inner workings of the magical 3 pound organ holding our ears apart is the key to understanding Human Behavior.

The most complex activity that we will ever be involved in is dealing with other Humans. Our Brain has evolved over millions of years to manage and maintain these ((cough)) challenging relationships.

The articles in PSYCHOLOGY TODAY are always a treat...

a cool mixture of Pop Culture Referencing and Scientificky Thingamabobs...

and no I am not getting paid to write this. I just think that it is worthwhile to actually examine the reasons WHY people do such outrageous things..

we are complex creatures driven by instinct and conditioning...

why are we such a baffling mixture of monster and angel?

How do these thoughts actually form inside of an organ? Everything that our species has ever accomplished, from whacking some unsuspecting guy over the head with a big stick to landing on the Moon, started out as an idea.

Anyway this month's issue had a couple of things that made me go Hmm. Does anyone recall seeing Dubya having his picture taken while holding hands with the Saudi Prince?

Thanks to Millenia of homophobic religious dogma, most people here in the West were surprised by the sight of two, important, male, politicians holding hands..

which is as pathetic..

as it is weird.

I suspect that many hardcore Fundamentalist Republicans in the Bible Belt were scratchin' their chins when that image showed up on the TV news!

Kids go to your rooms NOW!

In the new issue of PT, Jessie Graham explains this traditional expression of affection between men exists because,

"in much of the Middle East and Africa homosexuality is taboo and rarely acknowledged, so straight men feel free to show affection in part because no one will assume they're gay."

Oh the irony...or should I say hypocrisy?

Disturbing images snuck out of Countries such as Iran show Gay men being hanged in public from cranes mounted on trucks yet the cultural separation of the sexes forces young men to engage in public displays of affection.

I know that it isn't PC to discuss this but if it walks like a Duck and talks like a Duck...

Another interesting tidbit that I came upon was a piece detailing subtle differences and distinctions perceived by Occidental and Oriental viewers.

Mathew Hudson writes:

"when viewing objects in front of complex backgrounds, Asians fixate more on the surroundings than do Americans. Compared with America's stress on Individuality, context is king in Asia."

I thought that was very interesting..I have no idea if that is true, but it did make me go Huh what? We were all designed to decipher the motivations of other Humans in the twinkling of an eye and try to determine if they were friend, foe, or a fornication partner, and then plan for our appropriate fight, flight, or you-know-what response.

Now that most North Americans live in urban environments maybe some of that frontier uberman mythology will dissipate...I noticed where Dubya and the Prince were holding hands but I'll admit that I was trying to see how uncomfortable the President actually was.

The great social experiment known as America is wrestling with the notion of having a Female or Black President..a Gay President is still totally out of the question for over half of the country. Individualism?

I wondered how differently we would deal with homosexuality had we not invented all of those angry gods and taboos. Do you suppose that the prehistoric Cave-Clan Leaders tolerated Gay men in the tribe? Why not? There was safety in numbers and the more Hunters and Warriors the better. Best of all the Gay Guys weren't any threat to his harem.

I would love to see a documentary or movie about Gay Cavemen and utilize all of the modern cliches from shows like Will and Grace...

you know..they'd be redecorating the Cave, designing posh fur coats, and performing eshthetic miracles on those gruesome looking Neanderthal Cave Ladies with their gigantic foreheads...

"Bertha Butt* look at you?

Oh-my-god something crawled up on your head last night and died! UGH..

have a seat and let's get your your hair did.

I hope you didn't plan on gathering any roots and nuts with the rest of the Butt Sisters because this is going to take all day...

Hey Grunk, be a dear and cancel my 11 o'clock! "

in case you have never heard the song

*http://www.lyricsdownload.com/jimmy-castor-bunch-troglodyte-cave-man-lyrics.html

WAR & PIECE OF THE PIE

As I near 50 I notice that TV commercials are now geared at the Gen X & Y Demographic. Ads for my cohorts are for Hemorrhoids, Viagra, and Sensodyne toothpaste.

When did this paradigm shift occur? How did we get from the WE Generation to the ME Generation to the MEH Generation so quickly?

A generation or cohort, is a hypothetical clump of individuals, or demographic group, that represents all the people born at about the same time, who presumably share a common experience of the same events.

The notion of a group of people bound together by sharing the experience of common historical events due to their birth was first introduced by Karl Mannheim in the early 1920’s.

Here is the current cohort list that I found on Wiki.
starting with...

The WE Generation

Born from 1912 -’22 the Depression cohort experienced The Great Depression, high levels of unemployment, poverty, lack of creature comforts, financial uncertainty.

Key characteristics: strive for financial security, risk averse, waste-not-want-not attitude, strive for comfort…

FIRST WORLD WAR 1914-1918 DEPRESSION 1920-1921

’22 -’27 Pre World War Two cohort
Memorable events: men leaving to go to war and many not returning, the personal experience of the war, women working in factories, focus on defeating a common enemy.

Key characteristics: the nobility of sacrifice for the common good, patriotism, team player.

RECESSIONS 1923-24/26-27

’28 -’45 World War Two cohort
Memorable events: sustained economic growth, social tranquility, Cold War, McCarthyism.

Key characteristics: conformity, Conservatism, traditional family values. The Depression and WW2 cohorts are known collectively as the Greatest Generation.

WORLD WAR TWO 1939-1945 DEPRESSIONS 1929-33/37-38.

The ME Generation

’46 -’54 Baby Boomers cohort #1 also known as the "Sandwich” Generation because they now must care for both elderly parents and children at the same time.
Memorable events:Assassinations of JFK, RFK and Martin Luther King Jr., political unrest, walk on the moon, Vietnam War, anti-war protests, social experimentation, sexual freedom, Civil Rights Movement, Environmental movement, Women's movement, protests and riots, experimentation with various intoxicating recreational substances.

Key characteristics: experimental, individualism, free spirited, social cause oriented.

KOREAN WAR 1950-53 RECESSION 1948-49

The MEH Generation

’55 -‘64 Baby Boomer cohort #2 (Me) also known as Generation Jones. I’m in this group.The Baby Boom peaked the year I was born (57) at 4.3 Million Births in the US:
Memorable events: Watergate, the Cold War, the oil embargo, raging inflation, gasoline shortages.

Key characteristics: less optimistic, distrust of government, general cynicism.

VIETNAM WAR 1959-75 RECESSIONS 1957-58

’65 -’79 Generation X/Gen X cohort
Memorable events: Challenger explosion,Iran-Contra, social malaise, Reagonomics, AIDS, safe sex, fall of the Berlin Wall, single parent families.

Key characteristics: quest for emotional security, independent, informality, entrepreneurial

RECESSION 1973-75

’80 -’95 Generation Y/Gen Y cohort also called N Generation
Memorable events: Internet/Digital Age, 9/11, cultural diversity, 2 wars in Iraq.

Key characteristics: heightened fears, acceptance of change, technically savvy, environmental issues.

GULF WAR 1990-91 IRAQ 2003-? RECESSION 1981-82

So basically our lives are profoundly influenced by Armed Conflicts and Economics…which are always intertwined. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars

What I have noticed is that Armed Conflicts (WAR) and Economics (MONEY) still have an amazing stranglehold on our species. These factors greatly influence the mindset of each generation. We also like to blame the Generation before us for the current state of affairs.

Each Generation vows that they won’t make the same mistakes! What troubles me, is that what the MEH Generation appears to be doing, is taking the Hubrisian Indivdualism of the Boomers and extending that sense of entitlement to the next level.

Since the Second World War it would appear that each successive Generation has become less tolerant of the status quo and most of the bullsh*t conventions of the previous chort…which is good…sort of. We are reconstructing the notion of what it is to be a modern Human Being.

However people around the globe are reaching their stride at different speeds…some are tragically trapped in the past.
We are still fighting prejudice and dogmatism that should have ended long ago and it is totally exasperating. Having watched the idealistic Hippy morph into the materialistic Yuppy was so depressing. They abandoned the Generation Gap in order to shop at the Gap. Blech!

So where does that leave us. Well I believe that the younger generation is certainly astute to be re-examining the status quo. They are more colour-blind, more realistic, more flexible, and less tolerant of becoming that which they feared most, like the Boomers did. They seem sold on not selling out….and they have the numbers to get actually get something done.

From 1989 to ’93 the birthrate hit 4.3 Million for the first time since the 60’s. So the MEH Generation has the ‘chops’ to make a difference at the polls.
The biggest hurdle will be finding a way to avoid the trap that their Boomer parents fell into..totally selling out to the Man.

This Generation is hooked on Brands and Technology. They are savvy enough to understand the Psychology behind the Ads and they are changing the marketplace of goods, services and ideals. They are all going to be deaf from their mp3 players and blind from squinting at tiny screens. I wish them Luck.
PS please learn how to spell.

My Depression Era Grandparents and WW2 era Parents were the WE Generation. My children’s cohorts are the MEH Generation. The people who were a few grades ahead of me were the real Boomers, the ME Generation, and I’m being pulled in half by them and the Gen Xers. My children’s cohorts are the MEH Generation.

Is this Dumbographics

or is this a valid way to label us?

THE WATERMARK OF THE BEAST

Yesterday afternoon the young clerk behind the counter at a W*ndy’s Restaurant would not accept my crisp $50 bill.

I calmly explained that

A: my printer was not that good,

B: the note was legal Government printed currency,

C: it came out of a Bank machine, and that

D: he could use the scanner to check it.

With his voice cracking like the pimply faced putz in the Simpsons he calmly said,
“We don’t accept $50's or $100’s and we don’t have a scanner!”

“Why you little %#$@&*”
“Well I guess we’ll go to McD*nalds.”

Holy-freakin’-cashless-society-number-of-the-beast-Batman! Did somebody forget to tell me that the Tribulation had already started?

And speaking of Tribulations, why do these uppity Retailers think that they are doing us all a favour by allowing us to shop in their stores? The customer is no longer always RIGHT, the customer is an IDIOT if he/she doesn’t understand that it is a priviledge and an honor to be able to buy crap from our store!

Look, I don’t blame the pimply faced half-awake teenager . I realise that he has no concept of customer satisfaction. Hell he had to get out of bed before 3pm on a Saturday! Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou kid. I am sooo grateful. But you weren’t even a sparkle in your Old Man’s eye when shopping was customer oriented.

So if the holier-than-thou la-di-frickin’-da retailers can arbitrarily decide that they are not going to accept REAl cash, then why are the Banks still handing them out? Who is in charge here?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Number_of_the_Beast
"As many of you are aware, the prevailing interpretation of view of Revelation 13:16-17 is that "the Beast will require all people to receive the mark on their right hands or foreheads in order to buy or sell anything"..

little did I know that this would also include buying %$#@&* Hamburgers.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/counterfeit/
“Most retailer business is cash, and most retailers work on small margins. So if you get a couple of fake hundreds in a day and you can’t get compensation for that, it’s a double whammy because it’s not only your profit gone, but also the merchandise bought with the fake,” says Diane Brisebois, president of the Retail Council of Canada.

http://www.cyberclass.net/cnote.htm
“And what about all those millions in suspended animations? That, Wolf says, is good business sense for the government as well. By sitting on its “seigniorage” – the profit it made from the original sale of those notes - it avoids the cost of replacing the bills when they wear out.”

“Financial institutions find a lot of the fakes. But they report that counterfeit credit cards are a much bigger problem for them than counterfeit currency. In 2005,

counterfeit cards cost them $280 million —

dwarfing the $9.3 million lost from phony money.

80% of all transactions under $20 are in cash.

Overall cash volume and usage continues to increase, and it remains a preferred medium of payment for Americans.”

I tried to contact W*ndy’s but their contact site is under construction and yes Mickie D’s accepted my $50 bill. So NYEH!

So much for my idea of asking for enough fifty dollar bills to cover my entire nekked body by midnight on my fiftieth birthday

(less than one month away..hint hint..)
I guess that I will have to be covered in gold leaf instead.

OOOCH... OUCH... D'OH!

MOOT POINT

Back in the 90s I had a crazy idea to try and develop a cartoon strip. Actually I have a personal letter from Lynn Johnstone (For Better Or Worse) who was kind enough to reply to my inquiry. I have a stack of rejection letters from Syndicates who dismissed many of my other ideas for a strip. I never did submit this Moot Point.

My characters were anthropomorphic
Whales,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Cetaceans
Sharks
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shark
Pinnipeds,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinnipeds
and Sirenians.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sirenia.

The basic premise was that some guy is marooned on an island known as Moot Point. After months of isolation he begins to lose hope that he will ever be rescued. His fragile grip on reality soon gives way to a fantasy world.

He reconstructs the world that he knew by replacing human stereotypes with the sea creatures that surround his Island prison.

What he finds so distressing is that even in his make-believe realm the same problems arise. The members of the powerful Military-Industrial Complex take advantage of the Everyman and nothing ever changes…it’s the old Plus Ça Change Plus C'est La Même Chose thingamabob.

Anyway I tried to develop the cast by matching (whenever possible) human stereotypes with species from their corner of the world. For instance, Eco Boto is an Amazon River Dolphin, whichis an endangered species so she is an Environmentalist.

Her neighbours are the Rasta Manatee, a Jamaican Sprinter who is a Manatee, and Hector Exportador who is a Mexican Industrialist and a Humpback Whale.

You get the idea.

The cast included:

Some EUROPEANS
Rene Sauce: Artiste (Bottlenose)
Ann Archivist: Punker Poet (Blue Shark)
Sir Sinjin Tsktsk: Judge (Walrus)
Doktor Kopfzerbrechen: Scientist (Hammerhead)
Colonel Natasha Nyetsky: Diplomat/Spy (Beluga)
Thor Eunichornson: Explorer (Narwhal)

NORTH AMERICANS
General Mo B. Duckancover: Military (Sperm Whale)
Fad Tastic: Actor/Surfer (Gray Whale)
Finny Doojour: Celebrity/Brand (Common Dolphin)
Frantch Ice: Rapper/Pro Athlete (Orca)
Krilly Bob Bluechip: Gazillionaire (Blue Whale)
Tewkster: Comedian (Northern Fur Sea Lion)
Herschell Hitmacher: Producer (Tiger Shark)

SOUTH & CENTRAL AMERICANS
Rasta Manatee: Olympic Sprinter (Manatee)
Eco Boto: Environmentalista (Amazon River Dolphin)
Hector Exportador: Exporter (Humpback Whale)

ASIANS
Bill Yen: Electronics/Real Estate (Bowhead Whale)
Khan Fu Zhing: International Banker (Yangtze River Dolphin)
Guru Vee: Motivational Speaker (Indus River Dolphin)
Bling Ling: Cosmetics (Spinner Dolphin)
Rikki Techie Tavi: Computer Whiz (Ganges River Shark)

AUSTRALIANS
‘Papa’ Ratsy: Reporter @ Shock Newz (Great White Shark)
Donna Wallabingbangaroo: Super Model (Spinner Dolphin)
Drew Bong: Surfer (Dugong)

AFRICANS
Dr. Albo Akimbo: Doctor (Pilot Whale)
Akaei 47 (Zambezi River Shark)

There is a good reason that most cartoonists use Cats and Dogs. Humans are familiar with them. Few people could tell the difference between a Right Whale and a Bowhead. Of course since the advent of animated feature films such as The Little Mermaid, Shark Tale, and Nemo, that this isn’t as much of a problem.

My stumbling block has always been do I soften the sarcasm, and wrap it all up in a bow for children...do I go for adults and disguise it as a Kid’s show like the Simpsons…Or do I just go for it and go for the full Fritz the Cat adult audience or does the whole idea have any merit? I-dunno?

Either way I was overwhelmed by the amount of work involved and to be honest by the spectre of Political Correctness...I wasn't sure that I could avoid being seen as a raving xenophobic racist even though the end product was to expose basic human flaws as a universal problem.

We Humans all want the same things out of life but some of us, regardless of our location or appearance, are prepared to trample over others to get what we want and I just wanted to make fun of how ridiculous we are by holding up a mirror and thinly disguising all of the generic personality types.

About a month ago I considered doing it as a Blogtoon and drawing out panels or maybe even just using the character’s faces as avatars and giving them an ongoing dialogue in a comment section.
meh..

I just wanted them to see the light of day in case I never get another chance. They will probably sit in a drawer beside all of my other goofy ideas for another ten years.

The more things change,the more they stay the same.

What projects do you have on the backburner?

Mehsa

“I Don’t Want To Belong To Any Club That Will Accept Me As A Member.”
Groucho Marx

“I Would Never Belong To Any Club That Would Have Me As A Member!”
Woody Allan

“I Have Never Even Been Asked To Join Any Club That Would Have Me As A Member!”
Homo Escapeons

Most of us like to think that we are reasonably intellemajant. However we tend to be uncomfortable around people who are super- scary- smart. You know what I mean, the kind of people who are so smart, that it is stupid how smart they are!

Have you ever been to a cocktail party and found yourself in the unenviable position of attempting to engage in a meaningful, rewarding (ie. two-way) conversation with a genuine brainiac?

If so, the only solace is that deep down in the back of your reptilian limbic nodule, you know that there is an almost certain statistical probability, that your Einsteinian counterpart will be as socially retarded as this Poindexter in the glasses.

Am I right?

What really pisses us off is that people who are scary-stupid-smart, are born with a natural propensity to absorb knowledge by osmosis. We all went to school with them and we all hated their guts. We still hate them because instead of watching re-runs of Charlie’s Angels until 3 in the morning like the rest of us, they learn a new language in an hour... Nyeh!

So for them to study and decipher crap like the secrets of the universe is really no big whoop. Information just jumps into their brain. Remember how those freaks never had to cram for exams.

They somehow absorbed all of the information contained in their text books by simply placing it on their bedside table before they went to sleep...

What-ev-er!?

Unfortunately, in lieu of developing constructive relationships with these disadvantaged victims and teaching them how to interact with the other 98% of the population, we ostracise them, unless they are rich.

The sad truth is that Humans treasure the opportunity to wallow in the malicious enjoyment that we derive from the suffering of others who are way smarter than us.
We call that schandenfreude-a-poo-poo!

Why?
Because deep down, most of us are scared, fragile, insecure, miserable, little, twats.

One of the main obstacles in assessing others, with any degree of accuracy, is our reluctance to invest more than one millionth of a second towards judging another person's true character.

By being so frickin’ lazy, we make it very difficult to truly understand each other and have made this world a living hell for any of those poor bastards who are saddled with an IQ above 131. You can read about Steve Martin’s experience at http://www.aj.cz/celeb/sm5.htm

Another troubling aspect of our social skills is our apparent inability to distinguish self confidence from raging hubris. This of course varies from Culture to Culture, but we generally despise and envy others who have MORE of anything, especially ‘brains’, looks, sex, power, money, guns, and lawyers.

This is why social intercourse can be a living nightmare for everyone from the uber-shmart set and all the way down,

a little more,

almost,

few more inches,

there ya go,

all the way down to the Darwinian Dead-Enders on the Gerry Springer Show..oh c'mon they are all ‘acting’ anyway..

There are limits as to our civility. Certain social boundaries dictate what can reasonably be expected when dealing with insufferable smarty-pants. We have all met at least one poor misguided soul who blurts out that s/he is a member of a High IQ Club like MENSA.

MENSA!
Here comes the rolling of eyes, the gnashing of teeth, and the releasing of hounds. If someone brags about being in MENSA I almost always lose my composure and blurt out,
“I know you are but what am I? INFINITY!!!”

MENSA (rhymes with nyeh!) is of course “the largest, oldest, and best-known, smarty-pants organization in the world. Mensa restricts its membership to people with high testable IQs within the top 2% (at or above the 98th percentile) of any approved standardized intelligence test? An IQ of 100 is average.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mensa_International

I.Q. Range

(cruel relic of the past!)
Intelligence Classification
Under 20
Profound Mental Retardation
20–34
Severe Mental Retardation
35–49
Moderate Mental Retardation
50–69
Mild Mental Retardation
70–79
Borderline Mental Retardation

80-114
Average Intelligence
115-129
Bright
130-144
Moderately Gifted
145-159
Highly Gifted
160-175
Exceptionally Gifted
Over 175
Profoundly Gifted

Mensa was formed “to identify and foster human intelligence for the benefit of humanity, to encourage research in the nature, characteristics, and the uses of intelligence, and to provide a stimulating intellectual and social environment for its members."

Christopher Hitchens once said that Mensa is basically just a "singles club for nerds.”

Since 9o frickin 8 percent of us are automatically disqualified, I think that it is why we resent them. I think that is about time to start our own club...

an organisation that more accurately reflects the needs of 90 frickin’ 8 percent of us!
So let’s start mehsa.

The term meh, for those of you who are not hip to it, is an expression of indifference: to be used, according to the Urban Dictionary,

when one simply does not care.

We will not have any IQ tests: let’s just assume that if you are dumb enough to join that you isn’t a Mensa Member.

There won’t be any secret handshakes, dumbass mission statements, dues, voting, costumes, or tiny motorcycles and cars to putt around in either.

We might just get together and try, or whatever, to help each other maintain our current universal lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance. We can celebrate the joy of pure utter indifference.

So if anyone wants to join..whatever…I really don't care if anyone joins...meh. Afterall, I wouldn't want to belong to any club...