Thursday, May 31, 2007

BESTTICUS DRAMATICUS
MINISERIEUS EVERUS

I have been completely immersed for most of the week watching all 22 hours of
which I hereby proclaim as THE greatest TV mini series EVER!
Do you remember any of these?
1976 Rich Man Poor Man
1977 Roots
1980 Shogun
1983 Winds Of War
1984 The Thornbirds
1985 North And South
1989 Lonesome Dove
1990 Twin Peaks
2002 Band Of Brothers
2005 Rome
This BBC/HBO series is an intelligent, sexy, and thoughtful examination of the violent, tumultuous, soap opera that kidnapped the lives of the most famous characters (cast)in Rome from 52 to 30 BC (Julius Caesar to Ocavian/Augustus)

Like most of you I received my first taste of Roman History from the Nativity story in the Bible and the 1963 Blockbuster CLEOPATRA. Cleopatra was the most expensive movie ever made (fun facts here goofs )and starred Rex Harrison, Richard Burton, and of course
Elizabeth Taylor, who became the first actor to be paid $1,000,000 and villified for her scandalous offscreen behavior with her costar Burton. The Liz and Dick affair that eerily mirrored the behavior of their characters caused an international sensation and their subsequent escapades became the 'stuff' of legend as they were hounded by the tabloids from that day forward.

This movie revealed that Caesar had epilepsy, Antony was a love machine,
and that Cleopatra was a feisty regal feminista who used her brain and her sexuality to snag both Caesar and Antony. Unfortunately she pinned her hopes on the wrong horses and of course ended her life with the most famous serpentine suicide in a history!

ROME is a splendid, hypnotizing, examination of how the economic, religious, and political spectrum of this city of one million inhabitants survived the civil war between the Senate and the Caesars.
Marvellous details about the day to day lives of the Patricians, Plebes and Slaves are beautifully revealed. So much effort was put into portraying the everyday experiences o
f all of the characters from the bottom of the barrel to the very top of this highly stratified Class and Militaristic Society.


I had to refresh my memory and get all of my Caesars (Czars/Kaisers
) in order …and all those names with those 3 praenomen, cognomen, and agnomen whatchamacallitus. Here is how they decided those names Etymology_of_the_name_of_Julius_Caesar.

only covers the years from
Julius crossing the Rubicon river to Octavian'svictory over Marcus Antonius and Cleopatra but here is a quick review of the EMPERORS:

(Octavian/Augustus is actually the first Emporer)
Nowadays we just reference their popular names:

Julius Caesar was Emperor from 49 to 44 BC
Born in 100 BC as Gaius Julius Caesar

Caesar Augustus was Emperor from 44 to14 BC
(Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus Augustus)
born in 63 BC as Gaius Octavius

Tiberius was Emperor from 14 to 37
(Tiberius Caesar Augustus)
Born in 42 BC as Tiberius Claudius Nero

Caligula was Emperor from 37 to 41
(Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus)
Born in 12 AD as Gaius Juluis Caesar Augustus Germanicus

Claudius was Emperor from 41 to 54
(Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus)
Born in 10 BC as Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus

Nero was Emperor from 54 to 68
(Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus)
Born in 37 AD as Nero Claudius Drusus Germanicus


Here is a family tree to help sort through this JulioClaudian.png

If you love historical fiction dramas you will absolutely love ROME thanks to the startling honest approach to sex and violence that the creators have presented in such a matter of fact and mature fashion.

The story of how a 500 year old Republic that prided itself on the idealism of giving the power to the people instead of living under the whim and Tyranny of Kings...sound familar? The illusion of the common people trying to control their everyday lives and their ultimate destiny while LIFE and the ruling class are busy making other plans.

It reminds me of a few lines that Don Henley sang in
The End Of The Innocence.

O beautiful, for spacious skies
But now those skies are threatening
They're beating plowshares into swords
For this tired old man that we elected king
Armchair warriors often fail
And weve been poisoned by these fairy tales

What is your favoritus hitorical movie or miniseries ?
and why does history keep repeating?

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

ERRORIST THREAT LEVEL IS NOW RED!

Homeland Errorists have declared Jihoke (Holey War) on Reason and Modern Science. This is part of the cultural war being waged between Archeologists and Noah'sArkeeologists!



Two Creation Science Museums opening this spring are threatening to deal a fatal blow to the tedious and ridiculously scientificky School Science Curriculums in North America.

Finally Evolution, Darwinism, Empirical Science, and Reason, those nagging millstones that refuse to leave the secular morass of our Education System, will finally be destroyed and tossed into the dustbin of History!

These superb Museums, modern monuments to Intelligent Design or Errorism, will prove once and for all of time, the absolute, unquestionable*, historical, authenticity of the Bible from the title page and all the way to the back where all of the maps are.

*no seriously you do not want go there.

The CREATIONSCIENCEMUSEUM
opens May 28th in Kentucky, USA, and the
BIGVALLEYCREATIONSCIENCEMUSEUM
on June 5th in Big Alberta, Canada.

WOOT!

Finally the Creationists are determined to present the irrefutable evidence of a 6,000 year old Earth and end all of this tomfoolery and crazytalk about us changing from monkeys.

Don’t believe me? See for yourself!
Travel back in time back to the Garden of Eden and witness with your very own two eyes how the first two people on Earth walked around with Dinosaurs just like they did on the Flinstones.

Don’t worry about the young ones gawking at completely nekked Adam & Eve (ew gross!) their tastefully hidden naughty bits have been removed for your convenience.

Trace the astounding discovery of a direct lineage of the British Royal Family all the way back to Adam. It is right there in black in white!

Hey wait a minute..

How did Noah get a breeding pair of Diplodocus, which measured 90 feet in length and weighed approximately 16tons each, on to the Arky Ark?

(Singalong if you know it)

You got 16 tons and what do you get?
2 Diplodocus onboard
and an instant shipwreck!

It was a trick question!
Did you forget that all of the Dinosaurs died in the flood ya silly goose!

What do you do when opportunity knocks and you can’t beat ‘em?

Join ‘em!
What do you do when History gives you Lemons?
Make Lemonade!

My son and I decided that we should start our very own Youseeum Museum before these other Museums put the nail in the coffin of Reason and Science.
We are going to make $BILLION$!

We began creating our display and we have a lot of catching up to do but as you can see we are trying to incorporate a ‘groovier’ more modern sort of ‘vibe’ in our interpretation.

I never realized how satisfying and downright 'godlike' it was to tinker with History until we began constructing our main exhibit titled
WHAT THE?


(If you think that you can handle the truth click on it)

Yes these are heady days for those of us in the Time Travel Tourism Industry. Our Grand Opening will be Tomorrow around noon because Ridz has school in the morning.
Be there or be square,and don't forget to tell all of your friends.


It is 2007 isn't it?
I thought that church would be more like this www.churchofreality.org by now.

Monday, May 28, 2007

THE ROAD TO DUMBASSES
Joshua Royce Mauldin, 19, wanted to be a Preacher. Unfortunately his aspirations to preach the Word of God to those in need has hit a bit of a snag. J.R. was arrested and detained in a Galveston jail charged with injury to a child.

J.R. could be facing up to 99 years in Prison and a $10,000 fine.

On May 10th while on his pilgrimage to becoming a Preacher, J.R. and his mother, wife, and their 2 month old baby girl Ana Marie, were staying in a Hotel in Galveston, Texas.

While his mother and wife were out fetchin’ sum supper, this young hopeful evangelist from Arkansas, did something beyond comprehension to his very own 2 month old baby girl Ana Marie.

After lying and changing his story several times, authorities believe that J.R. apparently punched his 2 month old baby girl in the groin, put her in a hotel room safe, and then placed her inside the refrigerator.

J.R. then put his daughter in a microwave oven and turned it on for 10 to 20 seconds! The 2 month old baby suffered third degree burns on the left side of her tiny face and hands. There does not appear to be any internal damage.

J.R.’s wife Eva said that Satan made Joshua do it.
The Devil sees Joshua’s designs on becomin’ a preacher as a real threat to the King of Darkness. Eva is trying to regain custody and has said on record that her husband is not a monster. He was just under a lot of stress and he has a mental illness. Child Protective Services has the two month old baby girl and is trying to severe any parental rights.

If I had my druthers, my initial reaction would be to drag J.R. out behind the barn and kill him with a shovel.

Next I experienced the NewAge PC guilt trip that argues that J.R. is a sociologically challenged individual who needs psychological aid. Perhaps one day he can be 'patched up' and participate in society. Afterall, J.R. is a victim too. It is wrong to be so judgemental and write J.R. off as some White Trash Springervolk.

The_Jerry_Springer_Show

After a millisecond I returned to my initial reaction and decided that killing him with a shovel would be too humane and that I would prefer to strangle him with my bare hands.

MR. ESCAPEONS YOU ARE EXCUSED FROM THE JURY.

When all is said and done I simply can not fathom this behavior or ascertain a reasonable and just punishment. I would obviously be excused from this jury but I imagine that a suitable punishment would start by sterilizing J.R. but then I still have to justify to taxpayers the true cost of wasting $60,000 dollars a year to keep him alive in Prison (protective custody no less) for the next 80 years.

Let’s face facts. The Baby’s Mom will probably regain custody and J.R. will get out of Prison by playing the ‘Supernatural card’ and end up going into a Secured Medical Facility for a few years. J.R. could be out for good behavior and ‘time spent’ awaiting trial which means that they could all be reunited by 2010.

J.R. can parlay his now infamous ‘struggle’ with Satan into a modern day epic of jailhouse religion and a road to Dumbasses like experience. He guarandamntee that he will SEE THE LIGHT!


Personally I think that it is a shame that these Springervolk pretend that they are in any way, shape, or form, connected to the human race never mind a specific religious demographic. It is just inexcusable and insulting to the few honest devotees who strive to inject Peace. Love and Understanding into this troubled world. I don't think any rational person would equate these two with anything other wallowing in the shallow end of the gene pool.


I am sorry that our society has devolved to a point where these types of Springervolk are not only commonplace but allowed to reproduce, vote, and wander the countryside at will. If that makes me sound like a monster, snob and half hearted eugeneticist, then so be it.
I regret that I felt compelled to even write about this lurid affair but it just makes me so f*cking angry that 2 month old Ana Marie and the rest of us have to share this planet with people like J.R.

I am wondering what modern social engineers would consider to be a fair punishment for microwaving your daughter?

Saturday, May 26, 2007

CH CH CH CHANGES
Throughout history the vast majority of people have always believed that the way things are is the way that they will always be. They never expected to witness huge paradigm shifts.

For Centuries homo escapeons lived as their forefathers did. Socio/Economic/Political developements were hardfought, painstakingly slow events, and improving the living conditions of the average person was usually nothing but a fanciful notion or dream.

Now we expect miracles everyday. We have no doubt that Cancer and all diseases will be curable in the future. Maybe tomorrow! Why not? The one constant in OUR universe is ch-ch-ch-change and there has never been more change than in the last 200 hundred years of human history.
SUPERPOWERS COME AND GO
One Century ago THE Superpower was Great Britain. During the 1800s the British Empire covered nearly 1/3rd of the people and land on Earth. By the 1780s London had a population of 800,000 and was the largest city in Europe! Today I live alongside of 800,000 other
Whateverpeggers in what is now considered a moderately sized city. Meh!
These days I feel as if I am witnessing the manifest destiny of our current Superpower, the USA, start to contract. Like Rome and every Empire before and after it, there seems to be a certain point at which these gigantic social experiments start to crumble and implode from within.

THE BIRTH OF A NATION
This week I was struck by two very different historical events. On Secrets of the Dead: The Voyage Of The Courtesans, several Australian Women retraced their ancestory back to a shipload of British female prisoners who were sent by Lord Thomas Sydney to the Penal Colony 1300 miles away in Australia.

Quick review
London had a massive crime wave as a result of the chronic poverty from the Industrial Revolution.
There were 200 legal statutes allowing fo capital punishment available for dealing with criminals but the prisons were bursting at the seams.

After America claimed independence Lord Thomas Sydney chose Australia as the new receptacle for unwanted inmates.
King George recovered from his madness and reprieved the sentences on the female prisoners who were to be ‘SHIPPED OFF’ to the Penal Colony in Australia as potential wives for the first batch of convict/settlers. It was believed that family life was the backbone of Civilization so this was the birth of a new country.

Apparently many women asked to be hanged rather than endure a ten month journey to Australia which was like being sent to the ‘moon’ in those days. The lovely assortment of available bachelors awaiting them were miserable and starving from failing crops and in true European fashion they had made enemies with the Aboriginal inhabitants who had been there for 40,000 years.

So off sails the Lady Juliana with the cargo of women. For the first time in their lives these women are to be well fed and even attended to by a doctor!! As you might expect to happen the 35 Sailors onboard availed themselves to makeshift wives from amongst the 225 women being delivered. Prostitution and SEX were just a part of daily life in those days and at several ports of call along the way this ship became a floating brothel! You really need to see the show or check out this link, it is a fantastic story. http://www.pbs.org/previews/secrets_courtesans/

THE END OF AN EMPIRE
On the other end of the spectrum I viewed a show on Winston Churchill which was a peek at the end of the British Empire.

Arising from the political dustbin The British Bulldog stirs the resolve of a Nation to survive the Nazi War Machine that devours the rest of Europe. In the process America becomes one of the undisputed Superpowers in the post Second World War universe. Churchill reluctantly witnesses the transfer of power from the British Empire to the Russian Bear and the American Eagle.

One short decade ago I watched the Berlin Wall crumble, live on Televison, and with it the collapse of the Soviet Empire. This left a single Superpower on the planet, the USA. Now it appears that we are witnessing the decline of that lonesome Superpower after a mere 50 years at the helm. I cannot help but wonder when the dawn of next Superpower, China, will take Centre Stage?

How we inadvertently arrived in our present day configurations and political situations is absolutely fascinating. It seems so obvious to me that our haphazard, pell mell, random stumbling throughout history couldn't really be a part of some predestined, cosmic, plan. Could it? It is simply too bizarre.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

LET'S FACE FACTS
Most of us are keenly aware that the majority of Movie Stars owe their good fortune to sheer luck and DNA. For many actors having a 'perfect' or interesting face somehow compensates for the absence of any acting abilities. I would dare to say that most careers on the silver screen have been created and sustained on looks alone.


Why do we tolerate this?

Homo escapeons love to look at faces. Last night I watched John Cleese present the science behind our insatiable desire to view others in The Human Face on PBS. TheHumanFace

Apparently a staggering 97% of humans aged 4 - 80 from every corner of the globe share a universal agreement on the rules of beauty!

The usual suspects are listed clear skin, high cheek bones and forehead, full lips and most of all symmetrical features.

In it's totality the human face advertises general health and our evolutionary psychology drives us to look for 'perfect' mates.

For 4,000 years makeup has been applied to enhance features and disguise blemishes. historical link.

Enhancing the eyes and lips of the female face is all about sex.

Darkening the upper eyelid is an effort to highlight the drooping eyelid effect (bedroom eyes) that occurs just before orgasm. Embellishing and reddening the lips mirrors the swelling of the stimulated labia. Plump lips are a sign of youth because they shrink as we age.


The infamous Golden_Ratio of 1:1.618 is the key to perfection from Fingers to Pyramids to the number of Petals on a flower to the zenith of Creation, the Human Face. Fibonacci link

The relationship between the key ingredients that make up the perfect human face, nose width, eye separation, cheeks, mouth to jawline all magically fall into this mathematical formula.beautyranges link

In Long Term Relationship searches Physical Appearance hovers around 3rd or 4th place in amongst the other important factors such as Intelligence, Dependability, Understanding, Emotional Stability, and Kindness. contemporarybeauty.


In Short Term Relationship searches when our 'looks' are regarded as optmized, from ages 14 to 24, Physical Appearance is generally rated as the ten most important factors by teens and young adults.


For over 100 years people have been bombarded with images of 'perfect' potential mates in advertising, magazines, movies, TV, and now the Internet. This is quite contrary to life 500 hundred years ago when beautiful people would have been more of a rarity. Talk about Shock The Inner Monkey. Physiologically this is devastating because people are secretly overwhelmed by the subconscious knowledge that thousands if not millions of 'better' mates are available to forward their DNA.


This perfect storm conditions of available beauty could explain a great deal about how superficial our modern culture has become. Why are we so obssessed with gorgeous Celebrities? Why do so many relationships fail now, too many options? How else can you explain wealthy paparrazi?

Obviously the advent of modern cosmetic trickery, the logical mathematical creation of more so called 'perfect' looking people (there are over 6 billion of us now do the math) and most of all, the technological wizardry of modern communications overexposes us to all of these beautiful retouched, unblemished, faces 24/7.
Homo escapeons aren't designed or have yet to socially evolve, to a level of sophistication that can handle all of this visual stimualtion.
Does it really matter if all of this phenomenon is an illusion?

Aside from the written word, is there ANYTHING on Earth as powerful as the image of the human face?

Monday, May 21, 2007

PIGEONHOLED

Voir Dire is the process by which prospective jurors are questioned about their backgrounds and potential biases before being invited to sit on a jury.

Since I seem determined on eviscerating our legal system ( justice system?) I must expose the dirty business of jury selection. Jury selection is BIG business. Consultants, one half of whom are Psychologists, charge thousands of dollars per day to handpick the perfect juror for the lawyer. This is how Dr. Phil made a living before he sold his soul to Oprah.

On top of all their demographic information; age, sex, race, religion, political views, prospective jurors can be asked to answer 300 pertinent questions.
All of the information gleaned by the Consultant can be interpreted, carefully manipulated throughout the trial, and hopefully result in an almost guarantee how the prospective juror will vote at the end of the trial.

Some of these Consultants even have fake courtroom sets built replete with actors to play lawyers and judges to test their prospective jurors reactions to a mock trial.

It kills me that some Judges naively believe that jurors are capable of ignoring news articles about the case, or those 'OOPS' accidental sworn statements given by a totally rehearsed witness. Strike that from the record. Jurors are instructed to ignore those statements . Lawyers subdmit 'time bombs' all of the time that they know will set off their 'Manchurain Candidate' jurors.
A prime example of the success of this prepackaged jury system is how the Prosecutors either dropped the ball, or were incredibly naive, in their estimation of inate goodness of mankind during the OJ Simpson trial.

Remember the huge disparity between the reactions from 'white' America and 'black' America when OJ was found Not Guilty. The much maligned jury consisted of 8 black women who consultants observed correctly, would be suspicious and fearful of the LA Police Force, harbor empathy for OJ, and who would have hated Marcia_Clark .

Everything is always Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

Does anyone here think that the verdict would have been the same if it was held in rural Texas with a jury made up of 8 Caucasians? We all dream that in a perfect world it shouldn't make any difference. Right is Right.
Verdicts arrive because lawyers manipulate the law and push the psychological buttons of every handpicked juror.
Of course the Civil Litigation trial of OJ in another County found in favour of his deceased wife's relatives and OJ was found Guilty. 'Nuff said.

As Al PAcino said And Justice For All, "I'm OUT OF ORDER, you're OUT OF ORDER, the whole system is OUT OF ORDER".
The system is being manipulated from start to finish. Money Talks.

What scares me the most is that every word that I have ever tapped out on my keyboard is recorded for all of time, somewhere, and you know and I know that governments, banks, corporations, medical professionals, mad scientists, and of course trial consultants, all collect and exchange this information.
The collective 'THEY' have a complete E-demographic ID of me and you.

Add that to the fact that now these Consultants could glean my blog to look for specific opinions that would be favorable or otherwise to their client's case.

I would get picked for cases involving Intolerant Religious Organizations & Leaders, Racial Hate Groups, Cruelty to Animals, Governmental Intrusion on Individuals, Psycopathic Murders, Serial Rapists, and Big Corporations ..all the stuff I like to rant about.
I should seriously consider being more flippant, inconsistent, and inexplicably wavering on 100% of the subjects that I discuss in order to avoid Jury Duty!

What about you?
Is your Blogging ideology and rhetoric consistent enough to get handpicked by a Consultant and snuck onto a jury to help win or thwart a case?

What types of trials would a Consultant:
A. specifically choose you for jury duty?
or
B. immediately scratch you from the jury list?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

EASY LIKE SUNDAY MORNING

What would happen to our society if we suspended the hunt for the almighty dollar for one day ? Instead of getting sucked into the sell-sell-sell-buy-buy-buy vortex we could take a deep breath, tread water, and have a real conversation about IDEAS.

Have you ever noticed the difference between weekend edition Newspapers and the blah-ad-blah-ad-blah-ad weekday run of the mill edition? Sunday is much more palatable than Saturday, which is the 'Great Whore of Babble-on'.

This Sunday morning my local newspaper had articles on Christopher Hitchens, a list of countries that censor the internet, and a piece that explores if humans evolve into conservatives or liberals through environment or genetics...these types of articles would rarely if ever appear during the week.

From Monday to Friday the local media in all of it's incarnations presents five million car ads, six billion weiner sale coupons, and reports on which local politician said what, AD, ten kids under 12 steal cars and torch garages, AD, sports scores, AD, wheat prices, AD, obituaries, AD, lotto numbers, AD, weather guesstimate, AD, assinine columnist drivel, AD, idiotic letters to the editor from the same 12 people and a couple more ADs. Ghastly.

The all of a sudden on Sunday mornings, the weekend editors treat people to items that are actually interesting and encourage thought! Instead of numbing us into a trance with catchy titles followed by the blah-blah-blahs , on the weekends there are articles on thought provoking people, places and things. There are actually even more ADs on the weekend but I am so numbed by then that I completely ignore them because there is actually something interesting to read!

Why can't they do that everyday? Do they assume that people have such hectic, frenetic, lives that they can only think on the weekend?

It is very similar to watching Network (PLACE AD HERE) Televison and PBS.
On PBS everyday is a little more Sunday morning! Networks spend every other second trying to keep your eyeballs on them and stop your finger from switching channels. Keep the chatter going, flash the ADs, promote the next program, Shock the Monkey, all in the name of advertising dollars. The sacred CPMs, the cost per thousand rate, that the Media can charge to their advertisers.
These advertisers are very leery about the 'bang' that they are actually getting for their buck! The internet is screwing the whole thing up and attention spans are now measured in milliseconds.

Don't get me wrong, there are some excellent dramas and comedies on Network and PBS has a plethora of material that is somnambulistic catnip. The abscence of the pickle dillion ADs makes it easier to think about what PBS stations are presenting.

I compare Sunday Morning to being able to digest your brain meal instead of racing through the drive-thru. The Monday to Friday serving of Media 'cream of crapola' is all rush, rush, rush, drive-thru.

Sunday is sit-down think-through.
Easy like Sunday Morning.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

SATAN IS A LIEWYER!

"Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game"

Sympathy For The Devil
Jagger/Richards

Satan is a lawyer,
atleast according to the Jewish Encyclopedia:
"Satan is the member of the divine council who watches over human activity, but with the evil purpose of searching out men's sins and appearing as their accuser. Satan is the celestial prosecutorial lawyer who sees only iniquity."

"Yet it is also evident that the Devil has no power of independent action, but requires the permission of God (the Judge), which he may not transgress.
He cannot be regarded, therefore, as an opponent of the Deity; and the doctrine of monotheism is disturbed by his existence no more than by the presence of other beings before the face of God."

In the film Devil's Advocate, Al Pacino, as Lucifer, gives a fabulous synopsis and legal defense of his existance
"I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began.
I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him. In spite of all his imperfections, I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist. "

El Diablo even reveals his secret weapon...

"Don't get too cocky my boy.
No matter how good you are don't ever let them see you coming.
That's the gaffe my friend.
You gotta keep yourself small.
Innocuous. Be the little guy. You know, the nerd... the leper... sh*t-kickin' surfer. Look at me.
Underestimated from day one.
You'd never think I was a master of the universe, now would ya?"

This 'worst kept secret in the universe' was also divulged in another film, The Usual Suspects, wherein Kevin Spacey (Verbal) said,

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist."

Back to Pacino's Lucifer, I was fascinated by the ferocity of his speech about God as he tries to garner a little sympathy for the devil...

"Let me give you a little inside information about God.
God likes to watch. He's a prankster...
He's an absentee landlord!
Worship that? NEVER!"

Have you ever wondered why there are so many Lawyers on Earth and why they have their finger in everything?
Did you know that there may be over 1 MILLION Lawyers in the USA today!
I noticed this from the power-of-attorneys.com
"Lawyers amass their fortune through the redistribution of the existing wealth of others, rather than by creating wealth through their own entrepreneurial efforts? In other words, they rob from the rich, the poor and everyone else in between and give the loot to themselves. Now that’s quite a gig they’ve got working for them, isn’t it?
Hmmm. Sweet deal.
In Devil's Advocate Pacino said that being a Lawyer was the ultimate backstage pass. So I would have to say that this modern comparison of Beelzebub and Lawyers is a perfect fit and it was inevitable,
wouldn't you?

Monday, May 14, 2007

IS OUR OCCIDENTAL MAP ACCIDENTAL?
The world may already seem like it is upside down but what if we were to literally redraw the Map?
I started by wondering where my coordinate opposite would be.
Whateverpeg is at the 49.88 NORTH & -97.17 EAST so if I was transported to the opposite coordinates, 49.88 SOUTH & 97.17 WEST ...
I would treading water in the Indian Ocean west of Australia but further South than New Zealand!
It would be miserably close to Antarctica which seems totally unbelievable to me.
Homo Escapeons started migrating out of Africa about 150,00 years ago and began spreading out across the globe. Our population reached 1 Billion by 1800 and now here we are racing towards 7 Billion people in 200+ Countries.

If we retrace History with our Linear mindset, we have a very specific idea of who, when, where, how and why certain events took place and created the map on the wall that we all recognise.
Imagine this world with the same Countries?

How would history differ with the present day Nations in their new locations?
Is it even possible for you to separate the geo/political references, along with all of the ethnocentric/national baggage, that you automatically see when you look at a map of the world?

What if the Continents had ended up like this?
The agricultural and latitudinal equation obviously made the Agricultural
Revolution a key ingredient in our Evolution.

But if you could toss aside the logic for a second look at how different the World would be and which Countries would have ended up being the most desirable and powerful Nations on Earth.

Would the same people have dominated the world?
Obviously Geography has a lot more to do with our story than you may have guessed.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

HAPPYMOTHER'S DAY

LU Mommy,

Ridmeister XXXX OOOO


To all you Muthaz out there:

FĆŖte des mĆØres Sul y Mamau Muttertag Dia de la Mare Motinos diena Festa della mamma Š”ŠµŠ½ŃŒ ŠœŠ°Ń‚ŠµŃ€Šø ƄitienpƤivƤ Γιορτή της ĪœĪ·Ļ„Ī­ĻĪ±Ļ‚

Thursday, May 10, 2007

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
ABOUT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

A friend e-mailed a copy of the following letter to me the other day.
Whether it is authentic or not is beyond my estimation.
If it isn't real, it is a wonderful prank.
If it is real, then I will seriously reconsider my stance on voting rights.

In a letter to the editor of the Arkansas Democrat Gazette dated Monday, April 16, 2007, Connie M. Meskimen of Hot Springs, Arkeesaw, outlined her fears about the members of Congress interfering with the natural order of the universe.
"You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last Century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two.

This should come as no surprise to a reasonable person, as you know, Daylight Savings Time started almost a month early this year.

You would think that the members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of sunlight would have on our climate.
(editors note:better read that again)
Or did they?

Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that Global Warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far reaching effects."

How can one possibly question the urgency for implementing the No Child Left Behind program of edjumakasional reform that President Bush promised.
Does the writer actually believe that Congress, even a liberal one, has the power to make the Sun shine for an extra hour? I know that Daylight Savings Time is difficult for those of us still wrestling with VCRs, but I had no idea that some people gave politicians this much credit.
Perhaps blending Creationamalizm and Intelligent Design into the Science Curriculum weren’t such a grate idee’r afterall?
Either way, former Vice President and self proclaimed Creator of the Internet, Al Gore, who hails from neighbouring Tennessee, has really got his work cut out for him trying to explain the nuts and bolts of global warming to this particular concerned citizen.
The writer od this letter is obviously a proud Republican and Annie 'Git Yer Gun' Coulter, the GOP’s hottie/haughty voice of Conservatism, may finally be in jeopardy of being replaced as the trophy gal at the Good Old Boys Club.
How can we STOP politicians from playing dice with the Universe?

click yer cursor matey...

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