Monday, May 28, 2007

THE ROAD TO DUMBASSES
Joshua Royce Mauldin, 19, wanted to be a Preacher. Unfortunately his aspirations to preach the Word of God to those in need has hit a bit of a snag. J.R. was arrested and detained in a Galveston jail charged with injury to a child.

J.R. could be facing up to 99 years in Prison and a $10,000 fine.

On May 10th while on his pilgrimage to becoming a Preacher, J.R. and his mother, wife, and their 2 month old baby girl Ana Marie, were staying in a Hotel in Galveston, Texas.

While his mother and wife were out fetchin’ sum supper, this young hopeful evangelist from Arkansas, did something beyond comprehension to his very own 2 month old baby girl Ana Marie.

After lying and changing his story several times, authorities believe that J.R. apparently punched his 2 month old baby girl in the groin, put her in a hotel room safe, and then placed her inside the refrigerator.

J.R. then put his daughter in a microwave oven and turned it on for 10 to 20 seconds! The 2 month old baby suffered third degree burns on the left side of her tiny face and hands. There does not appear to be any internal damage.

J.R.’s wife Eva said that Satan made Joshua do it.
The Devil sees Joshua’s designs on becomin’ a preacher as a real threat to the King of Darkness. Eva is trying to regain custody and has said on record that her husband is not a monster. He was just under a lot of stress and he has a mental illness. Child Protective Services has the two month old baby girl and is trying to severe any parental rights.

If I had my druthers, my initial reaction would be to drag J.R. out behind the barn and kill him with a shovel.

Next I experienced the NewAge PC guilt trip that argues that J.R. is a sociologically challenged individual who needs psychological aid. Perhaps one day he can be 'patched up' and participate in society. Afterall, J.R. is a victim too. It is wrong to be so judgemental and write J.R. off as some White Trash Springervolk.

The_Jerry_Springer_Show

After a millisecond I returned to my initial reaction and decided that killing him with a shovel would be too humane and that I would prefer to strangle him with my bare hands.

MR. ESCAPEONS YOU ARE EXCUSED FROM THE JURY.

When all is said and done I simply can not fathom this behavior or ascertain a reasonable and just punishment. I would obviously be excused from this jury but I imagine that a suitable punishment would start by sterilizing J.R. but then I still have to justify to taxpayers the true cost of wasting $60,000 dollars a year to keep him alive in Prison (protective custody no less) for the next 80 years.

Let’s face facts. The Baby’s Mom will probably regain custody and J.R. will get out of Prison by playing the ‘Supernatural card’ and end up going into a Secured Medical Facility for a few years. J.R. could be out for good behavior and ‘time spent’ awaiting trial which means that they could all be reunited by 2010.

J.R. can parlay his now infamous ‘struggle’ with Satan into a modern day epic of jailhouse religion and a road to Dumbasses like experience. He guarandamntee that he will SEE THE LIGHT!


Personally I think that it is a shame that these Springervolk pretend that they are in any way, shape, or form, connected to the human race never mind a specific religious demographic. It is just inexcusable and insulting to the few honest devotees who strive to inject Peace. Love and Understanding into this troubled world. I don't think any rational person would equate these two with anything other wallowing in the shallow end of the gene pool.


I am sorry that our society has devolved to a point where these types of Springervolk are not only commonplace but allowed to reproduce, vote, and wander the countryside at will. If that makes me sound like a monster, snob and half hearted eugeneticist, then so be it.
I regret that I felt compelled to even write about this lurid affair but it just makes me so f*cking angry that 2 month old Ana Marie and the rest of us have to share this planet with people like J.R.

I am wondering what modern social engineers would consider to be a fair punishment for microwaving your daughter?

33 comments:

  1. You are painfully aware of my views on capital punishment, but i am close to queuing to throw the switch myself. That is Horrible, mindnumbing abhorent. To do that to a person is one thing, but your own flesh and blood... ***shakes head***

    The thing that gets to me more than springerians being able to vote and multiply.. is that there moronc behaviour is applauded, and emulation is encouraged... It is cool to be illiterate, ignorant, and white bred. Hip to be a Gansta, live in a trailer, dangerously patriotic, and never aim to better ones self.

    My social reform, DESTROY THE TELEVISION.

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  2. Well that was...weird. I mean, you can't HONESTLY say he's a threat to society at large - I mean, what were his motives for microwaving his daughter? He's not some unscrupulous, society-playing criminal genius or a gun-touting gangsta or a serial-rapist. He's just fucked up. What kind of crime IS that even? Microwaving your daughter. Its gotta be psychological - there's no actual reason to do it.

    He should be locked up and never see his daughter again - but someone oughta look at his head and work out what the hell went wrong. It's funny, you talking about some kind of 'white trash' cull, 'cause I often think that the human race would benefit so much more if we just allowed natural selection to do its thing. But that's not the society we've built, so we've got to put up with it. We've got this whole 'equal rights' concept at the heart of our morals now, which means that if I expect to be helped when I'm down then dumbasses should be entitled to an equal degree of assistance. Fair? Not really - I don't roast small children. But I guess we've just got to cough up that $60,000 a year, 'cause we can't kill people just for being stupid (what am I saying? YOU'VE got to cough up the $60,000 :P).

    Speaking of which, I love his sentence : as though 99 years wasn't enough he's got that CRIPPLINGLY HUGE fine to deal with as well. Crikey.

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  3. aidan,
    I don't expect to ever sway you over to the dark side but somehow I knew that you would have atleast carried the shovel to the back of the barn for me on this one.

    You make a strong argument for censorship. We shouldn't encourage white trailor trash behavior by pretending that it is OK.

    Jerry Springer has much to answer for. He can't pretend to be an innocent bystander to the dumbing down of America. All of the proceeds from the syndication of his show should go towards edumacation in the Hillbilly regions of America.

    fathorse,
    Just to be clear on this I live in Canuckistan and JR has NOT been sentenced yet, it just happened, those guidelines are what the statutes suggest for that horrific transgression...even though it is in Texas it will still take a while, probably more than a year, to process this idiot and waste all that money doin' it. Just lock him up and throw away the key.

    I agree that Natural Selection would help but the only sign that it is still in motion is what I read on the Darwin Awards. As a society we preserve anything and everything that moves now thanks to sentimental values instead of logic and as you say we are totally stuck with it.

    If we were stuck on a desert island
    (or thought that the Earth's resources were seriously in danger of being depleted)
    all of this la-di-da everything is beautiful in it's own way idealism would go right out the window in a heartbeat.

    May I remind you that a national 'white trash' cull is racist..it would most certainly have to include 'all' trash to be fair!

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  4. I don't want to sound flippant, but I will not be surprised if manufacturers of m'wave ovens now add a "not intended for use as infant warmers" to their labels. Remember the woman who "cooked" her dog because she thought her new oven would be a great drier? She won the case because the oven's label did not state, specifically, that it was not for drying doggies' fur.
    As for JR...perhaps he'll be sent to that Texas gaol with the "old-fashioned" warden who has prisoners cracking rocks in overalls in high summer.

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  5. I live to see Phil Donahue host ONE show, with Jerry Springer as the guest, asking him ONE question......

    WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

    I give him the remainder of the hour to try, and ultimately fail, to answer the question.

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  6. Boiling in oil comes to mind. But then, we're not in the middle ages. Maybe he should just be microwaved so he can experience it.

    Cases like these make me think sometimes that some people should not be allowed to reproduce. And I don't think this just for extreme cases.

    There are so many poor people where i live and you see children as young as 2 or 3 begging or selling flowers everywhere when they should be safe in their homes.

    Mothers use their babies by begging despite the heat and/or rain. And yet, these families have six or more children and the cycle of poverty continues since they won't be able to have a proper education. Heck, most of the time they only twice rice and salt/soy sauce once or twice a day. It's so sad and unfair for the children whose parents don't know any better and are not equipped to provide a good life for them. This is what makes me so mad.

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  7. I feel sick reading what these assholes did to their baby girl... jeebus, people tr to have kids and fail to fall pregnant and these cretins do this to their baby???

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  8. HE, I think what we're seeing with JR are the effects of all the inbreeding that takes place in Arkansas.

    When I read this story, I thought to myself, this could only happen in one place - the deep south.

    JR should just die, but his wife is probably a turd too, and neither should really reproduce.

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  9. This makes me think of the case out here where a man put his toddler daughter in the clothes dryer, supposedly to dry her clothes -but of course she was injured. Some people don't have the brains they were born with. In short, there are a lot of dickheads about- the one you posted about being a fine example of a dickhead if ever there was one.You'll have to excuse me now, must go get my poodle out of the washing machine and then get back to watching Jerry.

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  10. I've been sitting here trying to think of a just punishment for pond scum like that. Castration...no he would still be alive - Death....no, too quick - staked out, spread eagled in the desert with his eyelids glued open, smothered in honey, on top of a fire ants nest, that would be ok but eventually......No, sorry I can't come up with anything even close to being what he deserves.

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  11. some ppl r sick beyond imagination!

    Just punishment? I'd say put em in a washing machine with Hot water only. Or put em in the oven.

    Keshi.

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  12. enourmous quantities of drugs, mind-numbing drugs would be my solution; but whatever, the cost of life imporisonment, I'm not sure I could justify capital punishment

    quite horrific, extremeley horrific

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  13. I'd be excused from the jury, too.
    Terrific k & r! You've highlighted several pet "kvetches" of mine like the "supernatural card."
    There are so many overhauls in our judicial system I'd like changed ASAP!

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  14. I used to be a big fan of social programs (still am of some of them), but more and more I've come to realize that paying unfit people to have loads of kids (sadly this is what many welfare people do) is taking natural selection in the wrong direction for the benefit of the species. we have created a society where the least fit people breed the most prolifically. It sounds horrible and callous, but we're killing ourselves in the long-term if we don't either
    a) allow nature to take its course and let unfit people slowly die off along with their offspring, or
    b) require licences to breed.

    This guy? yeah, shovel behind the shed. AND his wife. because any woman who tries to defend that monster is just as sick and guilty. they BOTH need to be sterilized.

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  15. I'd like to join the monster, snob and half hearted eugeneticist party please, oh and just pass me the shovel.

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  16. Yep, this bastard is sick. His wife's probably been conditioned by abuse to defend him. Even when my heroin-addicted boyfriend cut himself up, stole my car, and slept with other women (and men, for drugs), I still worried for him and what I was doing to cause it.
    I look at that and wonder WTF I was thinking - to defend him and take care of him, etc., but I was conditioned, much like this sicko's wife must be.

    It's been years and I'm uh, better now. ;)

    I would say lock him up forever and get that woman some therapy and give her back the child. She's not the one who did the abusing. I don't have much sympathy for the guy. He won't survive long in prison anyhow, so send him there. Jeffrey Dahmer didn't cost the state much money either. The other inmates took care of it.

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  17. dinahmow,
    The good news is that he is in Texas and he will probably not be mollycoddled by the system or represented by some idealistic Law student from the far left field of planet ACLU.
    I would think that breaking rocks for 80 years would give him plenty of time to think about his crime.

    THE michael,
    Great Idea.
    Springer and his smug little 'what I didn't do anything' smirk have been laughing all the way to the bank. What Jerry doesn't get is that this sh*t is not going to ever wash off of him.
    Jerry's kids will forever be a lowpoint in network daytime tv and he knows it.
    He knows damn well.

    Menchie,
    It is a universal problem. Look at how the industrialized nations that are near zero population growth iomported labourers who have tons of kids. It doesn't take a math whiz to figure out what will happen twenty years later.
    The West has been sending aid to the same countries for 50 years!
    A vicious cycle indeed.

    cazzie,
    It doesn't make any sense. It is so unfair. The whole thing is upside down? It is easy to see how totalitarian governments come in when people reach the end of their wits. Instead of gradually taking measures they bow to political correctness until they snap and scream for extreme measures.

    myavatardon'tworkblogger,
    Yup! He is from Arkeesaw and I wish that wasn't so because it will perpetuate the mythology of the inbred crackers littering the Appalachian countryside.
    Try to remember that Al Gore, George Clooney and Fred Thompson are from them thar parts too.

    lee,
    How much of Jerry do you think is staged. We know that they have Producers that go over the guest's performance and get them all riled up. If it was as phony as wrestling then I might not be as concerned but there can't possibly be that many trailor parks in the continental USA..can there?

    angel without wings,
    I like the fire ants but I will have to opt for a more unnatural punishment that will suit the crime. I think that a lot of X-Rays would be a start...might give him a chance to appreciate..
    WAIT..
    this dumbass ain't never gunna understand 'nuthin' nohow'!
    Ants it is.

    keshi,
    See I knew we could find your inner vigilante! I would have to excuse myself because I would end it all far too fast and where is the justice in that?

    i like the view,
    Are the drugs for you so that you don't have to deal with arseholes like this twat? Or do you suggest pharmacating him into the ether for the rest of his natural life?

    gel,
    Well eventually somebody is going to set up a State or Province where all of the common sense rules will revampt he legal (not justice) system.
    When this new Territory is formed I imagine that you and I will be neighbours. That will be very cool.

    chaucer's bitch,
    I agree.
    It does sound harsh especially since 99% of the commentors are HUGE mushball egalitarian take a bullet for freedom of speech and human rights people like myself...who seem to have hitthe wall on having been taken advantage of.
    It is one thing to get a leg up and try to improve the system but when it just gets bled dry and abused and ruins it for those who would actually do the right thing.
    Unfortunately there are far too many people taking advantage of it and at some point it has to stop and some accountability must be applicable.
    Ugh!

    ziggi,
    You know and I both know that most of us need second, third, and even fourth chances at life but most of us are trying to improve our lives for our families. This guy just made me see red and the sheer hypocrisy of the whole 'calling' thing made something explode in my head. It makes me so mad that he is probably incapable of ever understanding what he did because he is so f*cking stupid!!!

    shelley,
    Putting him in the general population would solve a lot of issues.
    You are right he has a history of abusing her so she is a scared enabler.
    I wonder if one of the conditions for returning the child to her would be ensuring that JR is never allowed near the child?

    That is an amazing story about your past life and I am so glad to hear that you overcame your poor self image and morphed into one of my absolute favorite firecrackers out here in the blogosphere.

    You have a big heart and a devastating left hook!

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  18. HE: As someone who, as a child, has experienced something loosely related (but nothing heinous like this) I have a very skewed (and probably mean, judgemental and bitter) perspective on these things. I tend to blame the woman for being too weak and deluded to protect her own child from someone who clearly has displayed such dangerous tendencies before (they always do), whether he's husband and father or not. He may be a monster for what he did, but women who don't protect their own children, THE most primal of instincts, are also monsters.

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  19. Just to clarify, I wasn't trying to defend the guy. i was just saying that it doesn't sound to me like this was a purposefully evil, premeditated attack (or at least not in the way described here). But I guess we'll never know - was he sitting there thinking 'hmm, wouldn't it be great to microwave my daughter?' and taking pleasure from it? Or did he just flip out and do it anyway 'cause he was 'possessed' by satan or whatever? If he did it for a laugh, then yeah call him a monster etc. etc. But if he's just a mental case, you've got to accept that people ARE mental, and people DO suffer as a result. Fact of life.

    I'm with Andrea though - there's got to have been some build up towards an attack like this, and the mother should have protected her daughter from it. If anyone, she's the biggest dumbass of all.

    fathorse signing out.

    p.s. Canuckistan is a great place-name! almost as good as 'Inner Ting Tong'...

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  20. Awwwww...Homey you so sweet when you talkin' bout braining a lunatic with a shovel. *sigh* It's such a good vision in my haid.

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  21. andrea,
    She is an enabler all right and obviously she was quite powerless in this relationship. Sadly she will still probably get her child back and instill an equal measure of self loathing into the that poor kid. The cycle continues.

    fathorse,
    Whether he is stupid or just an arsehole is immaterial in the grand scheme of things because he did what he did. I don't care WHY. I think that he is beyond repair.

    shlaaaaaaaaaah!
    Hey are you old enough to remember when Quickdraw McGraw was
    El-Kabong! Prolly not.
    FORE!

    ps did I get enough a's in there?

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  22. let's let him go to hell .. JR + Incinerator = burned to a crisp, and let him rot in hell.

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  23. lolz na but I dun wanna kill em...take em out b4 they die :)

    Keshi.

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  24. oh. my. god. i am so glad i don't watch the news... i couldn't agree with you more h.e.- on how frightening this world has become. they'll probably make a movie bout this wanker one day- and not only that- he'll be a consultant on set to make sure its dramatic enough!!
    a shovel isn't good enough- they should microwave him for 20 minutes and then bliksem him to death with a shovel!

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  25. we dont have responsibility or rights over another persons life.

    But we do have all the rights in the world god given or science give to protect anyone below our age.

    So i would tie jr to my big pickup truck (have to get one firs), the drag him along a gravel road along route 66 and then track back the route to see the vultures eat bits of him.

    amen.

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  26. I don't know what the laws are in Texas. However, those who commit crimes against children, women, and the elderly in Canada are protected and isolated from the general population in prisons. So although it would be nice if his fellow inmates could "take care" of him, I'm not so sure that would be the case.

    I'm also struggling a little with the comments about natural selection. I wonder if those comments mean that most people think that fertility treatments are a bad thing. This is, obviously, a very personal issue for me.

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  27. for him, not me

    or maybe a lobotomy, altho that is a step too close to capital punishment for my liking

    the thing is, he can't be sane, can he?

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  28. (and the horrific was about his actions, not capital punishment)

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  29. tsk tsk HE - the church of reason would DEFINATELY care why :P

    OK I'm going to stop commenting of this post before you hate me even more...

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  30. ac@44,
    I can't actually get my head around this so go right ahead.

    keshiroo,
    I have heard that the withdrawal method is not very reliable.

    angel,
    I have a sneaking suspicion that in days of olde his swift retribution would have entailed a heavy sharpened object.


    ghosty,
    Is that how you get medieval on child abusers out there? I heard that the number of vultures in Asia is diminishing because of polution. I always thought that they were nearly impervious to viral infections.

    anna,
    I don't think that anyone even thought of that. They were suggesting that pond scum like that would not be able to reproduce because people that stupid would get picked off by predators or kill themselves doing something really dumb...and sparing the rest of us.

    i like the view,
    What a kind hearted soul to think that a lobotomy, the backbone of modern psychology, is cruel and unusual. Ignorance is bliss!
    I like to rave about capital punishment because I know that vengeance is not very satisfying in the long run and I know that I am wrong about it. It just feels good to vent.

    fathorse,
    Get mad at you? NEVER!
    You're my new best friend call me every five minutes!

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  31. Modern social engineers have no frigging Idea what the hell is going on and so long as it dont effect them they probally do not care so I say!

    HTFU...........

    lets throw the switch and see what happens eh? Perhaps fire works with some shocking developements!
    Or things could be a gas.......Or may be we could inject a bit of sensiblity into these ass wipes?

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  32. he, there is evil in the world, and there is also mental illness. would you change your view if you were told this guy was tortured and locked in a dark closet for 72 hours when he was 2 years old?

    i don't know the facts in this case and my gut reaction is to fry the guy, but i've firsthand seen people do horrible things that did not have control over at the time.

    i just had to say this, even though i might have a shovel in my hand...

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  33. (So you met my current (UGH!) neighbors?)
    Seriously, it *would* be very cool to be your neighbor. I've started discussing your blog w/ Gem.
    He listens b/c he likes your blog name. Well, he listens more if I ...oops that would be "TMI."
    Anywhoo, seriously, these topics are terrific for discussion with real life friends, hubby or others.

    An "HE" groupie,
    GeL

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