THE ROAD TO DUMBASSES
Joshua Royce Mauldin, 19, wanted to be a Preacher. Unfortunately his aspirations to preach the Word of God to those in need has hit a bit of a snag. J.R. was arrested and detained in a Galveston jail charged with injury to a child.
J.R. could be facing up to 99 years in Prison and a $10,000 fine.
On May 10th while on his pilgrimage to becoming a Preacher, J.R. and his mother, wife, and their 2 month old baby girl Ana Marie, were staying in a Hotel in Galveston, Texas.
While his mother and wife were out fetchin’ sum supper, this young hopeful evangelist from Arkansas, did something beyond comprehension to his very own 2 month old baby girl Ana Marie.
After lying and changing his story several times, authorities believe that J.R. apparently punched his 2 month old baby girl in the groin, put her in a hotel room safe, and then placed her inside the refrigerator.
J.R. then put his daughter in a microwave oven and turned it on for 10 to 20 seconds! The 2 month old baby suffered third degree burns on the left side of her tiny face and hands. There does not appear to be any internal damage.
J.R.’s wife Eva said that Satan made Joshua do it.
The Devil sees Joshua’s designs on becomin’ a preacher as a real threat to the King of Darkness. Eva is trying to regain custody and has said on record that her husband is not a monster. He was just under a lot of stress and he has a mental illness. Child Protective Services has the two month old baby girl and is trying to severe any parental rights.
If I had my druthers, my initial reaction would be to drag J.R. out behind the barn and kill him with a shovel.
Next I experienced the NewAge PC guilt trip that argues that J.R. is a sociologically challenged individual who needs psychological aid. Perhaps one day he can be 'patched up' and participate in society. Afterall, J.R. is a victim too. It is wrong to be so judgemental and write J.R. off as some White Trash Springervolk.
After a millisecond I returned to my initial reaction and decided that killing him with a shovel would be too humane and that I would prefer to strangle him with my bare hands.
MR. ESCAPEONS YOU ARE EXCUSED FROM THE JURY.
When all is said and done I simply can not fathom this behavior or ascertain a reasonable and just punishment. I would obviously be excused from this jury but I imagine that a suitable punishment would start by sterilizing J.R. but then I still have to justify to taxpayers the true cost of wasting $60,000 dollars a year to keep him alive in Prison (protective custody no less) for the next 80 years.
Let’s face facts. The Baby’s Mom will probably regain custody and J.R. will get out of Prison by playing the ‘Supernatural card’ and end up going into a Secured Medical Facility for a few years. J.R. could be out for good behavior and ‘time spent’ awaiting trial which means that they could all be reunited by 2010.
J.R. can parlay his now infamous ‘struggle’ with Satan into a modern day epic of jailhouse religion and a road to Dumbasses like experience. He guarandamntee that he will SEE THE LIGHT!
Personally I think that it is a shame that these Springervolk pretend that they are in any way, shape, or form, connected to the human race never mind a specific religious demographic. It is just inexcusable and insulting to the few honest devotees who strive to inject Peace. Love and Understanding into this troubled world. I don't think any rational person would equate these two with anything other wallowing in the shallow end of the gene pool.
I am sorry that our society has devolved to a point where these types of Springervolk are not only commonplace but allowed to reproduce, vote, and wander the countryside at will. If that makes me sound like a monster, snob and half hearted eugeneticist, then so be it.
I regret that I felt compelled to even write about this lurid affair but it just makes me so f*cking angry that 2 month old Ana Marie and the rest of us have to share this planet with people like J.R.
I am wondering what modern social engineers would consider to be a fair punishment for microwaving your daughter?