OVERHEARD? NEVER!

'Ello 'ello 'ello, presenting for my infotainment, a sample of song snippets that continuously play in moy 'ead ...
perhaps you will recognise a few...
usually it's like flippin' around the radio dial and only my fave part of the song is audible...
(but every now and then I get to hear the whole song)....
try this.. hear the line and then switch..switch...
all at various volume levels of course...
I'll help you with the less familiar songs..OK...go...


"dabadadipdip ohhh, I use to be a lunatic"
Annie Lennox (No More I Love You)..

"Wherrrre are WE...
whaaaat the hellll"
Imogen Heap (Hide and Seek)...

"Wish I knew what you were looking for"
the Church (Under the Milky Way)...

"Keep your 'lectric eye on me babe"
Bowie (Moonage Daydream)...

"Don't sleep in the subway darlin'"
Petula Clark (guess?)...

"Texas chain saw massacreee, took my baby away from me"
Ramones...

"So I go, In-sane, like I al-ways do"
Lindsey Buckingham...

"Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes,even if it was for just one day"
Nik Kershaw...

"I'm afraid of americans, I'm afraid of the world"
Bowie...

"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time"
Sir Macca..

"little red corvette, baby you're much too fast"
his Purpleness...

"ooh what are these chains that are binding my arms, part of you dies each brick I lay"
Alan Parsons (Cask of Amantillado)...

"The leading horse is white,
the second horse is red,
the third one is a black,
the last one is a green"
Aphrodites Child (Four Horsemen)....

"Because a-something, a-some-a-how, a-some-a-where,
HAS GONE WRONG!"
Audience (You're not Smiling)..

"C'mon baby we ain't gonna live forever,
let me show you all the things that we could do"
Veronicas (Forever)...

"I'm highest bidder"
Weird Al (E-Bay it's a Backstreet Boys sendup)...

"yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you touch my inner smile" Texas...

"what would you doooo, what would you do if I followed you"
Stone Temple Pilots (Sour Girl)....

"I'm gonna get myself, gonna get myself connected"
Stereo MCs....

"Regrets, I've 'ad a few,
but then agin',
too few to mention"
Sid Viscious (My Way)....

"I can't get to sleep, I think about the implications"
Men At Work (Overkill)....

and always, alldays
"Show me show me show me how you do that trick,
the one that makes me scream seasick"
the Cure.
I have to do my SNOOPY DANCE when I hear Just Like Heaven!

There it 'tis...a sample of the soundtrack of my life. There are certainly lots of oldies but thanks to my kids and my continuing curiousity, a few new ones are added from time to time, like the Fray, Bloc Party, Band Of Horses, Asher Lane, and Take That.

Some songs remind me of people, some just take me back, some simply take me away, and some just have such catchy frickin' hooks that I cannot delete them no matter how hard I try! I suppose that a few of them are like file folders that envelope emotional items and memories like FUN/SAD/WOO HOO etc..

I love having all of this music in my head and I don't have to destroy my ears with an MP3 player or my oldschool walkman.
because I can play these tunes really, really loud! ...
Name a few songs on your Soundtrack
that you can't erase...

BITE ME!
Although I am enthusiastic about sharing the planet with other multicellular organisms I have a strong aversion to being eaten by one of them.

To tell the truth I have have never been able to decide which predation would be the proverbial worst way to go. Exhumed and listed below are the principal terrorists from my childhood nightmares....

Grizzly
Appropriately labelled 'ursus arctos horribulus' this monstrous omnivorous cousin of the pig
(males are Boars and females are Sows)can weigh up to 1500
pounds and run 35 miles per hour!
Grizzly_ Bears scare the hell out of me and I could think of little else if I was hiking in the foothills of Alberta..unless I was with some that I could easily outrun?!
MEEP MEEP!

If you enjoy the 'odd' documentary, Grizzly Man is an incredible examination of a delusional champion of the wild named Timothy Treadwell who spent 13 summers living unarmed in a tent amongst Grizzlys until the inevitable self fulfilling prophecy took place.

Polar Bear
Several hours to the North by plane is one of the largest concentrations of the equally gigantic but far more dangerous Polar_Bear .
During Hallowe'en Night in Churchill, Manitoba, children collect candy while everyone else is patrolling the outskirts of the town in their trucks.
Polars, being products of a harsh environment, will eat anything, anytime, anywhere..
and ANYONE!

The Grizzly Man would not have lasted 13 summers living beside Polars..he would not have lasted 13 minutes.

Since I cannot decide which Bear is more terrifying there is a tie breaker..a Grizzly-Polar Hybrid has been discovered ..the product of the closely related species interbreeding in overlapping territories.
ISN'T THAT SPECIAL?

Great White Shark
One word..JAWS!
The Whiteshark may be an endangered species but the thing of it is they can be over 20 feet long and weigh a couple of tons. Chances are that you will die from drowning or simply exsanguinate from the 30 pound excavation of your body mass.
NUH-UH!

Komodo Dragon
This 300 pound reptile,the world's largest Lizard, the Komodo_Dragon delivers a quick toxic bite with it's 52 one inch teeth and waits patiently for the prey to die from the 15 strains of virulent saliva oozing in it's mouth from rotting carrion.
UGH!

Taipan
The 'Fierce' snake, the world's deadliest terrestrial serpent, is a 9 foot long creature that can kill 100 men with a single bite of it's venom.
I have witnessed a televisual demonstration of how a litre of human blood congeals into a thick 'gelatin' within minutes..hmm having my blood turn to jello courtesy of the Taipan's venom..
NO THANKSSSSSSSS.


Divorce Lawyer
Ruthless, cunning, and willing to suck the very life out of their prey is perhaps the most dangerous creature of all, the dreaded Divorce Lawyer.

Bereft of a soul or conscience these vampiric predators wait undetected until the scent of marital discord and endless billable hours whips them into a frenzy. Without hesitation Divorce Lawyers unleash the full force of their arsenal; legalistic mumbo jumbo, adversarial politics, malice aforethought, and shameless theatrics upon the already wounded remorseful and self loathing prey items.

By clamping on the victim's assets like a Pit Bull they meticulously extract the heart, wallet and eventually the prey item's soul...
which they will later gnaw on after they drag the carcass around town in full view of the public. Not a pretty sight and you actually have to pay to have it done to you.

I guess I'll go with the Taipan..it's the fastest way to go.

HAVE YOU EVER WORRIED ABOUT BEING EATEN ALIVE?

WARHOLIAN VALEDICTORIAN

Do you remember a post from last November when I discovered that there are
12 Million Bloggers, 49 Million Blogs and 57 Million Internet Users reading blogs, and a new Blog is being created every 5 minutes!

The 'Average' Blogger
*is under 30
*blogs 2 hours a week
*uses a pseudonym
*does it as a Hobby for Creative Personal Expression, Documenting Personal Experiences and Sharing Practical Knowledge.
*has no f*ckin’ clue how many people read their posts but allow comments
*has a Blogroll with 13 links and 10 coming back

Well WHATEVER!

I am turning 50, blog atleast 30 hours a week, desperately attempt to read about 75 Blogs twice a week, haven't made one thin dime in the process or been quoted by a anyone famous and I don't care.
I am having fun.

But lately I have been reading an inordinate number of introspective posts by rank amateurs and seasoned veterans alike who are wondering where they are going with this medium and a few of my favorites seem to have either gone into ‘Cybernation’ or committed Blogocide!

Blogging has become an big part of my life and for better or worse, I have suddenly realised that it is now an indispensible form of socialization.
I have become totally enthralled and enchanted with meeting so many talented, intelligent, naughty, hilarious, people from all around the world.

You all have so many interesting, funny, bizarre & beautiful views on any imaginable issue or topic that I can’t imagine ever leaving the Blogosphere. However I would love to figure out how to physically manage my time and ensure that I didn't miss anything.

I always feel Bloggers Remorse when I get behind on my visiting anyone who leaves a comment and on my Blogroll. I don’t want to feel that way. Now I know that like-minded Clusters exist and they are a great way to visit a lot of people at the same time, but is that enough..do you feel like you need the one on one or is Cluster Blogging OK?

The reason I ask is that during my School Years I liked to hang out with different groups on alternate weekends. I always thoroughly enjoyed the experience of getting beyond the clique and the cliches of the various collectives. What I found is that they all had the same wants and needs, trials and tribulations, they just had a different approach replete with identity marking costume, hair and makeup.

I finally realised that I love Blogging for the same reasons..I can hangout with the Music Freaks, Political Poindexters, Raunchy Babes, Movie Nuts, Artistes, Science Nerds, Philosophers or Jocks, Straight Shooters and the Cheech & Bongs..they’re all here. This is the closest thing that there is to being back in the proximity of such a plethora of personalities.

The kicker is now that I am aproaching 5-0 I know who I am and how I feel about Life. Gone is the angst of peer pressure and uncertainty of Adolescence. The bizarre circumstance of not ever hearing or seeing each other is offset by sheer brainpower and the technological wizardry of publishing our own personal magazines.

This is a marvelous opportunity to share ideas, offer support and learn about and from other people. This is starting to sound like a convocation address from the valedictorian! Oh well, I did win the most inspirational student award in high school so what do you expect?

If you are feeling a little down about the whole Blogging thing, think again. Where else could you have an opportunity like this to light a candle for someone who needs a cyberhug,
let your own little light shine ,
light your own bonfire of the vanities,
or light a fire under someone’s ass to get them off and running! Here it comes..

People don’t care how much you know,
they want to know how much you care.

So how do we ensure that every blogger gets their well deserved 15 cyberminutes of Warholian Fame?

DOG GERMS..I mean GENES!
Finding the CAN I?, CAN I?, CAN I?, in CANINE.

Scientific evidence reveals that all 400+ breeds of Dog (Canis lupus familiaris) from Chihuahua to Great Dane, originated with the Wolf (Canis lupus). Doggie DNA is a smidge different than that of the Wiley Coyote (originally pronounced Koy-Oh-Tay) and the Sly Fox.

Initial Mitochondrial DNA research has indicated that atleast 15,000 years ago, domesticated Dogs were living 'with' Humans in Asia.

Dogs were the FIRST animal to be domesticated and remain our ‘bestus friendus’ primarily because of
A. their genetic engineering and
B. our insistence on anthropomorphically interpreting their slobbery, submissive, gestures as
Unconditional LOVE.
Whatever, close enough!

Dogs, like their Lupine ancestors, crave and demand social structure and therefore easily adapt to adopting human packs. They also have some ‘leftover’ behavioral traits that seem impossible to extract, such as turning in a circle to flatten ‘imaginary grass’ before having a nap.

Dogs helped themselves by helping humans to hunt.They added another dimension to the cause because their senses are embarrassingly superior to our own limited abilities. Dogs also became our guardians, herbivore herding associates, and ‘Besties’. This partnership may one day be recognised as being as paradigm shifting as the discovery of Fire, the Wheel, the Remote Control and Caller ID.

A Wolf goes through a series of observable, pre-determined, stages whenever it is hunting such as
Eye-Stalk/Chase/Grab-Bite/Kill-Bite
(and my addition) ‘Wolf-Down’ .

Man has manipulated these traits to produce specific types by selectively breeding and reinforcing these characteristics.
For instance, even though a great deal of training is involved,
Pointers are biologically pre-dispositioned at Eye Stalk, Retrievers are genetically modified to halt at Grab-Bite.

I had a Dachshund named Fritz
who was seriously stuck at Grab-Bite/Wolf-Down,
and Fritz's menu included everything but rocks.

Because Wolves stay Wolves, the current theory is that those Rascals with the greatest tolerance for hangin’ out around early Man and enjoyed feeding on his scraps, reproduced offspring that were genetically predispositioned to adopt Humans.

Physically they began to morph into a subspecies; their brain power decreased because scavenging is easier than hunting and Nature tossed aside other traits that predators who hunt large herbivores require. So basically, what we are left with are developmentally stunted Wolf Puppies.

Since then, Humans have created Breeds for every conceivable occupation, from large guard dogs (I read somewhere that Mr.Pinscher developed Dobermans in 35 years) to small Lap Dogs bred to attract the Fleas from the hygienically challenged European Nobility.

One of the coolest things that I have ever seen on PBS was an experiment on Russian Foxes. Geneticist Dimitri Belyaev believed that the patterns of changes observed in domesticated animals resulted from genetic changes and bred Foxes with the least aggressive dispositions.

Belyaev believed that behavior is rooted in biology and his experiment in selecting for tameness and against aggression, proved that physiological changes took place in the systems that govern the Fox's hormones and neurochemicals.

After several generations of interbreeding ‘Nice’ Foxes, the offspring developed floppy ears (wild animals do not have floppy ears),
curly tails, different coloured coats (non-camouflaged) and a few less ‘killing’ teeth.
The Foxes started to look and act more like Dogs because of changes in the levels of adrenaline and serotonin. Is that Cool or what?

In a few years the developing disciplines of Neuroscience and Technology will map the electrical-chemical pathways of the Human Brain in an attempt to demystify, understand, and no doubt modify, our behavior. Mysteries such as the existence of God, the Meaning of Life, and the current fascination with American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar, will fall at our feet. Yippee!

Do you suppose that Humans will be genetically modified to produce ‘kinder-gentler’ more malleable citizens or will this process be hijacked to create Uber-Warrior/Soldiers, 10 foot tall/450 pound Super Athletes, and Playboy Centrefolds?

Dogs are ‘nicer’ than Wolves even if they are developmentally stunted. We Homo Escapeons no longer live in a Natural environment and don’t need to be so frickin’ aggressive, do we?

I think that it is quite evident that we are now in the process of discarding unused brainpower, just as Wolves did in order to become Dogs.

What type of People and which specific 'qualities' will the Pharmaceutical Corporations be breeding in 10 years?
I suspect that they'll still want Lap Dogs stuck on
Eye Stalk & Chase (Shop)/Grab Bite (Pay-Tax & Don't Ask)

That BITES
Why don't WE ?!

Lookin’ back on the track…
The vast majority of men HATE going to the Doctor and I am certainly no exception. For the most part, as long as the majority of our aging systems are functioning we will avoid any encounters with the Medical Profession.

Through no fault of my own, my presence on Earth is hidden deep within the mammoth ink blob on the Demographic Charts known as the Baby Boom. Simultaneously reviled and regaled as the greatest/worst thing to ever happen to Western Civilization. EVER!

I was born in ’57 which is smack dab in the latter days of the rabbit-like reproductive efforts (’46-’64 US & ’66 Canada) that was spawned by the completion of the Second World War and the ensuing optimistic myopia that the Future was ‘All Good” and the bounty of the Earth was inexhaustible.

For their efforts our Parents received unbelievable increases in the value of their homes (a small price to pay for enduring Rock N Roll, Feminism, Racial Equality, and Environmentalism) thanks to the demand created by 8M Boomers in Canada and 70M in the States.

If you are interested to see how long it will take to finally be rid of us, once and for all, you can check out this link to the Baby Boomer Death Counters
http://www.boomerdeathcounter.com/canada.htm.

Anyway, since I am about to hit the big ‘FIVE O’ this year I must somehow convince my Identity Manager (who is maybe about 35/36 tops!) that my CPU needs a check up and cleaning.

I have noticed that my ‘Browser’ somehow deletes all of my temporary files. That is why I have no idea where my keys are or what I am supposed to remember about next Weekend.

OK so what if I can’t remember what is happening right now I can still whip out obscure bits of trivia on demand..well for others…if ‘I’ try to remember something FORGET IT but if my Sister phones me and asks me for an eight letter name for a Monotreme that ends in an S, lo and behold, out pops
P l a t y p u s.

I thought that my browser would clog up in my 70s or 80s, long after I had my Driving priviledges revoked, 3rd Quadruple Bypass Surgery (known as a Procedure), and my vanity driven ‘testicle tuck’ for all the Ladies at the Viagra Nursing Home.

C’mon now, in a couple of years the aging Baby Boomers will be rounded up and warehoused in giant Nostalgia Centres. There they can pharmacologically ‘Tune In and Turn On’ (relive the 60s and 70s) until they finally ‘Drop Out’!

Statistical forecasts predict that there will be about 2 Million Groovy Gals for every surviving Cool Cat and ‘ya ’gotta love’ them odds.

Which brings me to my final observation?

I think that it is safe to assume that aging men aren’t concerned with their “browser’ dumping files. Obviously doddering, old, farts can easily function with severely limited reasoning abilities.
Evidently they can manage a Corporation or even be President!
So stop wasting time on Neuroscience..pfft!

Men can ignore a myriad of physical and mental deficits for decades but if something goes askew with their Hydraulics they panic and show up at their Doctor’s Golf Course or even at their Home in the middle of the night.
So it’s not the ‘Browser’ it’s the ‘Schnauzer’.

“Lookin’ back on the track,
For a little BLUE pill.
‘Gotta find,
just the kind,
For loosin’ my mind.”

I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS

Two things really stand out in my mind regarding the massacre at Virginia Tech where 31 students and 1 Prof were shot to death by a psychotic, young, madman named Cho Seung-Hui.

Cho, a 4th Year English Major, was armed with two handguns that he had legally purchased and we now know that most of his victims received multiple gunshot wounds.

First of all, after reading some of his Plays and English assignments, one of his teachers had expressed concern to Administrators about his mental stability. Like the Healthcare System, the Legal System

(I refuse to refer to it as the Justice System)

is designed to function on a reactive basis and fails miserably in the proactive mode...

so nothing could be done that didn't infringe on his Rights.

I wonder what an FBI Profiler would think about a guy like Film Director Quentin Tarantino after reading one of his ultra violent screenplays? Wouldn’t a Profiler think that Tarantino was a danger to society?

The price of living in an open and free society was especially severe on this day but what are the alternatives?

Secondly, after Cho’s initial attacks he apparently then retired to his dorm for two hours before resuming his slaughter. During this time the Campus remained open because the Authorities assumed that the assailant was finished his killing spree. By the time he had resumed his savage executions, and the Police were finally closing in on him, exactly as you’d expect from a little f*cking coward, Cho then took his own life. I assumed that Police were now trained to storm into these situations like a tsunami and immediately neutralize the perpetrator?

What happened?

Last October I posted some comparable and interesting stats on Deaths and Murder Rates in the USA and Canada. Canada’s Population (30M) is roughly 10% that of the USA (300M).
Not surprisingly our Death Rates are quite similar.

In the USA there are 2.3 Million Deaths per year and Canada has about 225,000, roughly 10%.

A very disturbing statistic is the fact that 30,000 Americans commit suicide every year (80/day) compared to 4,000 Canadians (10/day), again quite similar.

Where we really part ways are the shocking MURDER stats.
In the USA there are approximately 14,000 Murders per Year (38/day) and 500/yr in Canada (1 every 2nd day).

In America, 10,000 of the 14,000 Annual Murders, (27/day) are the result of GUNS

while Canada has about 175 Gun/Murders per year.

WHY? Because there are an estimated

220,000,000 GUNS in America

and about 7M in Canada…and my final stat..

in the USA there are a guesstimated

75,000,000 Handguns &

7,500 Handgun Murders

committed annually.

Isn't the most obvious problem the availability and incredible supply of GUNS?

Surprisingly the ongoing Media Frenzy hasn’t exploited the coverage by playing the song "I Don’t Like Mondays" by the Boomtown Rats…

a song inspired by another senseless school shooting.

"All the playing's stopped in the playground now

She wants to play with her toys a while.

And school's out early and soon we'll be learning

And the lesson today is how to die.

And then the bullhorn crackles,

And the captain crackles,

With the problems and the how's and why's.

And he can see no reasons

'Cause there are no reasons

What reason do you need to die?

Tell me why? I don't like Mondays.

Tell me why? I don't like Mondays.

Tell me why? I don't like Mondays.

I want to shoo-00-oo-oot

the

whole

day

down"

and he did.

EVERYBODY IS A SONG

People are like Songs

They can be Country, Rock N Roll , Reggae, Disco, Classical, Swing, Folk or Pop
but they are all Music to someone's ears


Many Songs have an unforgettable Melody
but their insipid, uninspired, Lyrics ruin it


Others have brilliant Lyrics that go unheard
buried beneath a cacophony of noise


Far too many Songs have one line hooks
that get stuck in your brain all day long

Some Songs transport you back to simpler times
while others make you wonder about tomorrow

One Song may make you laugh and jump for joy
but another can make you sad enough to cry

Too often you hear the same Song over and over and over
and even if it is great, you stop listening


There are anthems that strike a chord with all of us
and we can recognize them after hearing a single note


Some Songs are robotic and rhythmic
others unique and acapelic


Most Songs rely on a Producer
and very few would ever get heard without a Program Director

Every once in a while you discover a Song that has it all,
brilliant lyrics soaring atop a rhapsodic melody
that grabs you like a wave and sweeps you out to sea
These Songs are my Friends
and I always listen to the entire Album

Some Songs are total Rip Offs
that you’ve heard a million times before


A lot of Songs are contractually obligated filler
that accompany a lonely Hit Single.

We organize Songs by Mood, Genre, Length, Titles and Tempo
but it is usually how they make us feel
that determines how much and how often we listen
and try to understand that song


Sometimes we start off on the wrong note
and we need to listen a few times before we can truly appreciate them

Of course I am preaching to choir
and I probably sound like a broken record



WHAT ARE PEOPLE HEARING FROM YOU?
and what are you hearing from me?

I MUS’ BE AN IDIOT!
Many folks believe that shock-jock Don Imus should change his name from Don Imus to I’m A Dumbass because he stupidly referred to the black players on Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos on his Radio Talk show.

“My goal is to goad people into saying something that ruins their life.”

Unfortunately he goaded himself into saying something that ruined his own life!

He got fired!

He should know by now that
A. For whatever reason the only individuals who are exempt from being Politically Correct are Comedians and
B. the second rule is that only people who appear to be from a specific socio/ethnic group are allowed to make disparaging remarks about themselves and their group.

Well guess what else happened..two decades of 'black' Hip Hop Gansta Rappers propogating the image of young black women as vapid penis receptacles and exploiting them in their lyrics and on their videos has come to fruition and I think that finally this weird double standard will now be subjected to some scrutiny under the cultural microscope.
I saw Her Sereneness, Maya Angelou, last night on TV and she said that this event should not be wasted and that there needs to be a dialogue about this terrible image. She went on to say that those rappers are smart enough to recognize their responsibility and that they going to be forced to clean up their acts. Angelou said that maybe this incident will generate a real discussion that might help to heal this nasty gaping wound that haunts the very fabric of American Life.

Now I am all for Freedom of Speech (hence the banner) but there has to be some context…

I don’t have to agree with what someones says..as a matter of fact I don’t even have to listen... but we are in the 21st Century and we know enough about Human Psychology to understand that continuing these stereotypes may be destructive and yet every Comedian embellishes those stereotypes and capitalizes upon them.

I wonder how many outsiders actually 'GET' the inside angle or does this just perpetuate and aggravate the situation? Does this practice break the tension and perpetuate the pigeonholing?

For instance look at the liberties taken by Mel Brooks in Blazing Saddles..I suspect that far too many people didn’t GET IT and that the subliminal messages inside of the jokes were merely lost on the rednecks and racists.

I confess that I am quite comfortable with the idea that only Comics can say (almost) whatever they want to…

BILL MAHER
"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

"The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, "You know what? Let's just grab lunch."

CHRIS ROCK
"It's sad that your taxes don't cover any medical. No medical. I think doctors make too much money, you know why? Because they don't cure anything. Everything they cured, they cured 50 years ago.
They ain't cured anything in a long time, man, you know, diseases are piling up, man, we've cancer, sicacell, and Geri's Kids still limping around. Come on, Man, get rid of something. Some diseases, they just gave up on. They said: "To hell with it!" Like blindness.
You go blind, they don't got nothing for you. You go to a doctor, tell him you're blind, he says, "Hey why don't you get this dog to drag your blind ass around." Where's the medicine? Where's the science? I'm blind! I can't see! There's people that can see that can't handle a dog! Come on, give me a midget or something!"

"For those doubters out there who keep asking the question is America ready for a black president?I say why not?We just had a retarded one"

DENNIS MILLER
"As for what many are calling racial profiling in the aftermath of September 11th, well, get ready to be pissed off, you ACLU-F***ing-Morons, we're dealing with a massive threat and limited manpower, so, you want them to check everybody out equally? Sure, fine okay, but let's at least compromise and put the Swedish dwarf a little further down the list than the Iraqi explosives expert carrying a Belgian passport with more eraser marks on it than Kid Rock's trig final."
STEPHEN COLBERT
"I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message that no matter what happens to America she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world."

"Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president. "

JON STEWART
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."

"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea!"

Nobody else is allowed to talk like this..
why is that?

THE LITTLE WOMAN

I am THE luckiest guy in the world to be married to such a wonderful Lady.

When we first met I was instantly attracted to her beautiful smile, sparkling hazel eyes and her wicked sense of humor.

She was a quiet, little, school teacher who miraculously ended up teaching in her hometown. All of her students, and every kid that she has ever taught, knows that they will get a HUGE HUG whenever they see her!

She is patient, kind, and absolutely beautiful…maybe too beautiful. Now I know that this sounds like I am insecure but sometimes when other men are staring at her I can get a little JEALOUS!
Hey, I’m only human.

Do any of you remember the song
When You’re In Love With A Beautiful Woman?

"When you're in love with a beautiful woman,

It's hard.

When you're in love with a beautiful woman,

You know it's hard.

Everybody wants her,

Everybody loves her,

Everybody wants to take your baby home.

When you're in love with a beautiful woman,

You watch her eyes.

When you're in love with a beautiful woman,

You look for lies.

Everybody tempts her,

Everybody tells her,

She's the most beautiful woman they know!"...

I know that deep down that she loves me from the bottom of her heart

(she tells me atleast ten times a day)

so I need to just relax and enjoy my unbelievable good luck.

Why she picked me I’ll never know…but I do know this..
I’m going to hang on to that little Lady for the rest of my life!

Now here is a real picture of us

…what a gal!

CHANGE THE WORLD
Two Rock Stars who are both making outstanding contributions to use their celebrity to change the world come from different angles.

Sir Bob Geldof of the Boomtown Rats
(I never loved Eva Braun*) and
Bono of U2 (It’s A Beautiful Day) work together but live in different worlds.
Bono received an honorary knighthood but Irishmen may not be titled or addressed as SIR because the Queen is not the head of State..
whatever!

Geldof said,
“Bono, as we all know,
is in love with this world.
He’s enamoured by it.
He wants to give the world a great big HUG!
I want to PUNCH it’s lights out!”

Love the sinner hate the sin
Yin and Yang
Good and Evil

I wrestle with my cosmology.
I am outraged by the atrocities that are taking place around the globe at this very instant.
It is mind boggling that we ignore the real problems and focus on saving Dugongs or Owls instead of tackling poverty and saving children.

The most powerful country in History spends trillions of dollars on developing weapons instead of Education and Healthcare.
Why must the pursuit of the almighty dollar reign supreme at the expense of the betterment of the citizens?

Politicians suckle on Lobbyist’s handouts in order to accommodate Corporations who supposedly will employ thousands and bring prosperity to their district and then turn around and lay off thousands to increase the bottom line.

Real Estate Developers and their Agents lie to the public about the crumbling Housing Market which is so artificially inflated that it is ridiculous…the high risk lenders are tumbling like dominos and yet people still borrow exorbitant amounts of money that they cannot pay off in 30 years.

Our entire system is not only unnatural but it is completely unsustainable, and yet we plod along with our heads down and eyes closed. We purposefully ignore the BAD News and focus on Sports or Fashion or completely useless things like the 24/7 media circus surrounding the genetic father is of a deceased Playmate!

Despite all of the evidence about how terribly wrong everything is going we ostrichise ourselves and put our heads in the sand. We hope that some extraterrestrial entity or human facsimile will magically arrive and clean up our mess.

In the midst of it all are the little day to day triumphs of watching your child learn to ride their bicycle or hearing that an old friend is recovering from a terrible medical condition.

Obviously our brains, which are desperately trying to adapt and tweak our behavior to catch up, are not yet equipped to handle these HUGE problems on a global scale.

We need to focus on the things within our realm in order to stay sane. ..

but as I watch my son gleefully parade down the sidewalk on his new bike I cannot ignore the plight of children his age who are needlessly suffering in my neighbourhood, my city, my country, continent and especially around the world.

Somehow we end up leaving this all up to egomaniacal Politicians, who once in office, almost always succumb to the status quo and dig us in a little deeper every single day.

Most of us HATE the way that the World operates

but LOVE People..

some of them anyway.

We have come to realise that CHANGE

comes from the implementation of IDEAS

that an individual or small dedicated group decides to pursue.

Every paradigm shift in History has been instigated by people like Adolf Hitler

(*who apparently did love? Eva Braun)

to Paul of Tarsus who spread his new brand of Judaism throughout the Roman Empire.

A handful of people who were determined to change the world...

'just did it'!

for better and for worse!

Are you Bono or Geldof?

THERE IS NO 'ISM' LIKE FAVORITISM...

British geneticist and evolutionary biologist J.B.S.Haldane is famous for his remark:

“ The Creator, if He exists,

has an inordinate fondness for Stars and Beetles".

This is of course referring to the fact that 25% of all known Animal species, including Homo Escapeons, are types of beetle.

Astronomers estimate that there are at least

70 SEXtillion

(7×10 to the 22nd power whatever!) stars in the observable universe or

230 billion times as many as the 300 billion in our own Milky Way!

Aside from the Sun the nearest star is Proxima Centauri

(if you’re ever on a game show)

which is about 40 trillion kilometres /4 light-years away

..whatever!

Much to my chagrin the Sun will expire in another 4 Billion years but presumably does not have enough mass to explode as a Supernova (dammit anyway) so it will become a Red Giant.

Unfortunately what that means is that the Sun's outer layers will expand until they reach Earth and all of our water will be boiled away and the atmosphere will escape into space.

I don’t like the sound of that.

Hmm, it sounds like 'Somebody' likes Stars even more than Beetles?