Friday, October 30, 2009

Faster, Higher, Stronger?

In the Animal Olympics we're Fatter, Slower, Smarter!

















Australian anthropologist Peter McAllister has written "Manthropology/The Science of the Inadequate Modern Male" and he has speculated that prehistoric Australian Aborigines could run faster than Olympic Sprinter Usain Bolt..
the world's fastest man who can cover 100 Metres in an amazing 9.58 SECONDS!

McAllister's conclusions are based on a set of fossilized footprints that suggest one of the men reached speeds of 37 kph on a soft, muddy lake edge.
Bolt ran 42 kph at the Olympics.


"In an interview in the English university town of Cambridge where he was temporarily resident, McAllister said that, with modern training, spiked shoes and rubberized tracks, aboriginal hunters might have reached speeds of 45 kph.But if they can do that speed of 37 kph on very soft ground I suspect there is a strong chance they would have outdone Usain Bolt if they had all the advantages that he does. We can tell that T8 is accelerating toward the end of his tracks."

 See for yourself 

When it comes to SPRINTING, Humans have always been pretty pathetic.
We have never done very well whether running away from carnivores or "catching" dinner in a flat out race.

Have a lash at these comparisons..
Cheetah          113 kph/70 mph















Pronghorn     98/61
Lion/Gazelle 80/50
Race Horse   75/47
Kangaroo       70/43
Ostrich           69/43
Grizzly           48/30
OLYMPIC SPRINTER 42 kph/26 mph
Elephant        40/25
Mamba           32/20
AVERAGE EARTHLING* 24 kph/15 mph
*about the same as an OLYMPIC MARATHON RUNNER
Crocodile        17/10

What we eventually learned/adapted to do,
was to out-run our victims...
but but our predators..not-so-much..



however, thanks to acquiring bigger brains,
we invented smarter ways to kill our predators.

See for yourself


"Most mammals can sprint faster than humans — having four legs gives them the advantage. But when it comes to long distances, humans can outrun almost any animal.
Because we cool by sweating rather than panting, we can stay cool at speeds and distances that would overheat other animals.
On a hot day, the two scientists wrote, a human could even outrun a horse in a 26.2-mile marathon.

Why would evolution favor the distance runner?



The prevailing theory is that endurance running allowed primitive humans to incorporate meat into their diet.
They may have watched the sky for scavenging birds and then run long distances to reach a fresh kill and steal the meat from whatever animal was there first."









btw:
When it comes to SWIMMING after things to eat or away from things that want to eat us, we totally suck!
Have a lash at this..

Sailfish             113 kph/70mph
Mako Shark    97/60












Killer Whale   77/48
OLYMPIC SWIMMER  7kph/4mph!!

Basically we never stood a chance of going toe to toe with our prey or predators.
We lucked out and somehow managed to live long enough to evolve into runnin' fools who eventually learned how to outlast "yummy" prey, and throw pointy sticks at "mean" predators.
And the rest as they say, is Ourstory.

Monday, October 26, 2009

N'ORWAY HOPS AHEED OF CANADA?

The new annual Human Development Index is out and NORWAY is the best place for Earthlings to dwell.

N'ORWAY?
Way!



"The (click >) HDI combines normalized? measures of life expectancy, educational attainment, and GDP per capita for countries worldwide.

It is claimed as a standard means of measuring human development—a concept that, according to the United Nations Development Program (UNDP), refers to the process of widening the options of persons, giving them greater opportunities for education, health care, income, employment, and a country's development."

The hope of every "other" Earthling, who had the misfortune of being randomnly sentenced by fate to be born in a developing country, is to someday reach parity with the lucky, ungrateful, bastards who were just as accidentally birthed in a"G20" Nation.

I have a vision, that someday they will live longer, better educated, and healthier lives, so that they too can squander their good fortune with the pursuit of Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride!


Conspicuously absent from the report were
2 African countries;
Somalia-later &  ZimBOB'sway,
both of which are completely intercoursed.

2 Asian nations;
Iraqistan & Bad Korea..really? That's weird.

3? European countries;
 Monaco, San Marino, Vatican City
UGH! not a real country puh-leeze! 




and 6 in OCEANIA, several exotic quaint island nations were excluded, presumably because everyone was at the beach when the UN phoned?
Kiribati, Tuvalu, Palau, Nauru, Micronesia and Marshall Islands.

So how did "your" country do?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

THE DO-DO-DO
After assembling my last post and putting up all of those goofy era-specific hairstyle compositions, I realised that I have looked the same for about 15 bloody years...how lame is that?

The 1950s

....60s...brushcutz












Thanks to the Beatles, I began fighting with my rents to grow out my hair.
I remember that this was a big deal? Dad would say why do you want to look like a girl?

...mid 60s..started growin' out my bangs!

















Now that I look back, I noticed that during the first 12 years, my appearance was constantly being altered as I grew and the fashions changed.

It appears that after the freakin' 60s, I looked pretty much the same for the next 12 years? 
...70s...




























That's weird...
I remember my school years as being marked by a different "look" every year...
but obviously, even back then, I looked absofrickinlutely the same for decades?

late 70s...















..80s...














I'm almost 52 and fortunately I have only begun to grey in the last year or so. But, I've had the same "do" for two decades so I'm growing it out.

To hell with it!
I might start off by growing a groovy "shag".
I prolly won't get to the aging Hippy ponytail stage,
but who knows?

..90s...
it got so bad that I wore a fake mullet at parties!



































A question for the Men.. 

Aren't you sick of looking the same for decades?


Ladies..
should men my age leave well enough alone or is the Fabio look still uberkewl?














Wow! This is insanely vapid. 

Hey, don't expect anything insightful from me for a while, I've been schlumping on Facebook for 2 weeks! It's so easy!!!

Everyone is on one page and you can just scroll down and read their fascinating "posts" like
...going to bed...let the cat out...exhaling carbon dioxide...found a rabid calf in FarmVille...
waaaay easy, especially when you're like me and blog fatigued from trying to follow 200 blogs!

Friday, October 23, 2009

POST #600 YouBiquity &
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

I'm currently adhering to the belief that one can simultaneously exist in two mutually exclusive worlds..
my Blog and my F***book.

In my own pretzelian logic, both are simply vehicles in which to gain YouBiquity while espousing one's encyclopedic ignorance of Life and innundating others with oversharing.

F***book is so ridiculously uber-easy and any glimpse of creativity is openly frowned upon. It's nice, but the downside is that you can't really afford to open your piehole and say what you really think...
or you can expect a good old fashioned shunning from your rellies.
Some social media experts believe that having over 300 "friends" is a blatant cry for help :)

Which is why Blogging will always remain at the top of my list.
Here you expect to get hoofed in the nads if you say something really stupid...but the fact remains that you can if you want to!

F**book should be for cordial visiting, oversharing info about your personal life, and nedlessly suffocating others with requests to add dozens of those intolerably vapid apps UGH!

Blogging on the other hand is for recklessly thinking out loud without concern...it's far more rewarding to be lambasted, ridiculed or dressed-down out here, than it is to be molly-coddled to death over there innit?

Now I once thought that this harmonic convergence of the two was inescapable. Afterall, one glimpse of your browsing history reveals that everything that you've ever written and every site that you've ever visited, is preserved for eternity somewhere in cyberspace.

btw; I was hoping to pose in the Freakin Green Elf Shorts for post #600 but Pete seems to be hesitant to let go of them?

I started out thinking that Blogging would be the perfect forum to unleash my own "special" encyclopedic ignorance of the world and discuss Politics, Sex, Scientificky Evolution, and my born-again Agnosticism.

It soon became apparent that most cybernauts come out here to relax, have fun, and occasionally hark on matters of the day that they have no way of affecting or resolving...which is so much fun and suits me just fine.
I've met so many hilarious, bright, insightful and thoughtful people from around the globe yada yada yada you all know it :)

Now if only I can tame my Zeligitis.
If I can just focus and find the right forum.
Case in point..look at all of my ridiculous avatars :)













click yer cursor matey...

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