homo escapeons

IF ONLY BOTH OF THE OCTOMOM's FIRSTBORNS ATE THEIR SIBLINGS?

further to our discussion Feb 3, 2009

SHORT VERSION for the Chronologically Challenged:

Why the f*ck aren't the asshats in labcoats who overfertilised these nincompoop Octomoms financially responsible for creating and caring for the 14 extra kids that nobody ordered?

and here is the LONG TEDIOUS VERSION:

One of the most disturbing downsides of recreational intercourse, an otherwise enjoyable activity, is that an egg may accidentally be fertilised and as Elvis so eloquently put it; there's another hungry mouth to feed in the ghetto.

Isn't this planet already dangerously overcrowded?

It's OK relax, that one was obviously rhetorical and a fleeting throw-away thought so just go ahead and read the next part....

oh and wait a minute...

before you get on your high horse let's get one thing straight.

I believe that it is a f*cking miracle that science, and pseudo-science, can help infertile couples.

I don't care whether they are married or not married, same sex or single or asexual or interracial or interspecial or casually dating and had a one night stand and think it might be kinda cool to have a couple kids and maybe get a dog later...

BUT,

more recently we have been forced to tippy-toe through the ethical minefield involving the ridiculously inexact science of clinically reproducing wealthy North Americans.

Most of you no doubt remember the Every Sperm Is Sacred musical scene from Monty Python's film, The Meaning Of Life. The Catholic factory worker comes home to his 60-odd children and tells them that he's been laid off and they're all being sold for scientific experiments because he has been blessed so much, that he can no longer afford to feed them...

whatever, that's more of a problem for the overdeveloped nations in Europe.

Here in the land of Manifest Destiny, Octomom and Kate8 are having it out in the pages of the seminal celebrity mag INtouch.

See for yourself WOW!

This is like Octomom-o-geddon except that we already know the answer to the most important question; which one has better hair?

but

which Octomom is the better single Mom?

Political correctness, the abscence of Darwinian population controls, religious doctrines concerning the beginning of Life, pretzel logic and kafkaesque legislation, and an army of eager, rabid, lawyers representing the reproductive-clinics, prevent us from having a serious discussion about why the asshats in labcoats who overfertilised these nincompoops are not financially responsible for 14 extra kids that nobody ordered?

Seriously?

Perhaps these $cienti$t$ should have injected some Sand Tiger Shark DNA into the petrie dish.



You see, Sand Tiger "Pups" practice intrauterine cannibalism .

The Mommy Shark's firstborn Pups eat all their developing siblings inside the uterus (her tummy) and grow big and strong before they enter the outside world. Fortunately she has two uterussusses or uterii, so 2 Pups are born (come out of her belly button) and the species receives sufficient numbers to continue.

I miss blogging about Sharks. I should do that instead of all this crap and make it some artsy fartsy thingamabob using sharks and all of the metaphorical mystique and misinformation about them into a playful forum..maybe 24 more posts and then that will be 600..a good place to stop and become SharkMAN.

here's a little chart I made for a presentation to a group of school kids..

see the Sandtiger on the right? It's not to be confused with a TIGER Shark.

Sandtigers look scary with those teeth hanging out and adapt well in captivity so a lot of Aquariums have them.

Where was I? Oh yeah. What a beautiful image of the miracle of birth..eating your brothers and sisters..MMMMM.

As Paul Anka sang, "what a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me".

What should we do with these un$crupulou$ reproductivi$t$ who are unwilling to financially support the "extras" they hatch for befuddled women like Octomom, who already had 6 kids under the age of 10 before she realised that she needed some MORE? The fellers at the clinic must have thought long and hard about that and decided, "Hell, why not."

And howzabout harvesting impregnated clone-thingys for those other women who are well past their best-before-date and will become 60 year-old-Moms?

That's an awesome idea.

Obviously it isn't the Mom's fault or responsibility because gawdamnit this is happening in AMERICA and Moms can just go out and get a TV $how and make million$ to support their surplus children.

It sounds like an Amendment in their Constitution;

The Right To Bear.

The Reproductivi$t$ cover their legal asses and pretend that it's like gambling in an ovarian casino..but unlike Vegas;

what happens in uterus, doesn't stay in uterus.

Look Lady, ya pays y'er money and ya takes y'er chances.

I watched the Beeb this weekend and a learned panel was discussing incentives and programs to aid and educate women in developing countries to STOP having so many babies.

I wasn't surprised that they never once mentioned either of the American Octomoms or their direct competition, the crazy Duggars, who not only have 18 offspring but all the kid's names start with a "J"

which I think you will agree is in and of itself quite reprehensible.
WHO is responsible for this madness?
WHO?