By Stu Piddazz
By the year 2050 the map of CANADUH will drastically change because..well..things just didn't work out.
In the North the campaign to have the USA return Alaska fails..it is dubbed I'LLASKYA (to kindly return it) by the CBC. To avoid any further discussions with Canada, Governor Sarah Palin III laughs and constructs a 10,000 mile wall to nowhere.
Greenland dumps Denmark and votes to join Dubai. Osama Bin Hidin Jr., the Secretary General of the UN, agrees to the transfer of DISAGREEDLAND.
Denmark stomps off and joins Kuwait.
Nunavut, along with fellow Tundrahuggers the Northwaste Territories and Yugone, join forces in order to form a "real" Province.
Unfortunately NUNUVIT (none-of-it) will belong to Canaduh for long because the Ruskies will invade and occupy it the next day.
Now the Ruskies can fill empty vodka bottles with radioactive Chernobyl pond water and toss them over Palin's wall-to-nowhere.
The Cold War is back baby and it is on!
In British Columbia, Asian immigration overtakes the aging population by a ratio of 4,000,000 to 1. The last, elderly, Baby Boomer, who was out in the back yard gardening, didn't notice.
BC becomes BLITISH CORUMBIA..it's only fair.
Alberta is annexed by Texas and becomes OILBERTY. The Jackalope becomes the official Provincial Mascot and a new slogan is adopted. Cocky Bastards!
Manitoba and Saskatchewan finally join forces. Both Provinces were tired of having "funny sounding names" so they rename it SASQUATCHOOHAW. Problem solved.
Like a black hole, Ontario collapses under the weight of it's own self importance and virtually falls off the economic map. It becomes a hollow shell known as YAWNTARIO.
Residents flee to the East Coast to find jobs.
In a fit of frustration the Central Co-Operative Council Of Canaduh makes a final attempt to shutup the separatits in Quebec. A lit cigarette is added to the Beaver on the National Coat of Arms.
This huge concession is narrowly rejected by a vote of 118 to 112.
Another referendum ensues and GOBACK (Inglush translation of GOBEQUE) leaves and is hauled back to France.
The richest part of Canaduh is now the East Coast. With the proceeds of their bottomless supply of offshore oil they buy Massachusetts and become NEWLABRITIMESETTS.
Nobody really notices 'cause day'all tak foonnea down dere h'anyways.
And there you have it...and you thought that we were boring!