I am an apologetic, born again-Agnostic..sorry, but if I am being totally honest with myself, then I must confess that I don't know or understand much about GOD.
Unfortunately we Humans have no real way of proving or disproving the existance of GOD but that hasn't stopped many of us from trying to slaughter naysayers and the proverbial others who hold contradictory views about GOD...
many of whom would merrily reduce the world to cinders in order to prove their point!
On the other hand, we do have atleast 5,000 years of historical evidence that would strongly suggest that the CREATOR is either too distracted or disinterested in nurturing and improving upon his so-called prized invention, the masterpiece of molecular biology that we call Humans.
I have a few issues to contend with that would help resolve this matter.
First and foremost is the fact that vertebrates are formed as female, ergo males are literally mutations, and it would therefore stand to reason that GOD is a chick and not some dude.
First and foremost is the fact that vertebrates are formed as female, ergo males are literally mutations, and it would therefore stand to reason that GOD is a chick and not some dude.
This revelation helps to explain why our world is in constant f*cking turmoil in lieu of just having a few irritable days every month.
The natural order of things is out of alignment because males have taken over the helm through sheer brute force and usurped the role of women as the administrators of Life Inc.
Think about that for a moment...how different would the world be if women had not been forced (under duress) to acquiesce to all of the male oriented bullsh*t?
Secondly, a quick glance at the developing trend in the geo-political pissing match between the two reigning ideologies, strongly suggests that the extremist factions of both groups who somehow always seem to cajole or bully the moderates, are hellbent on dragging the rest of the world into an inevitable showdown. A winner take all, no-holds-barred, zero-sum-gain, cagematch.
Which, as you can well imagine, really pisses me off.
You could argue until the sacred cows come home that cooler heads will eventually prevail.... but these are male heads that we are talking about, and they weren't designed during our arduous, evolutionary, journey to tackle the intricacies of interpersonal communication and cooperative living.
Nope.
Male brains have essentially evolved to feed, fabricate fibs, fight, and fornicate...and not necessarily in that order. That being said, many of us modern mentrosexuals have managed to scramble our genetic code, curb our natural proclivity towards fighting and killing the other Humans burdoned with a wenis.
Now we can concentrate on feeding, fabricating fibs, and fornicating...but again, not necessarily in that order.
Nope.
Male brains have essentially evolved to feed, fabricate fibs, fight, and fornicate...and not necessarily in that order. That being said, many of us modern mentrosexuals have managed to scramble our genetic code, curb our natural proclivity towards fighting and killing the other Humans burdoned with a wenis.
Now we can concentrate on feeding, fabricating fibs, and fornicating...but again, not necessarily in that order.
The recent US Presidential Inauguration was nice because Obama graciously acknowledged, prolly for the first time in history, that non-believers are people too. Why there is still so much GOD BLESS AMERICA in a supposedly plural neutral political function is beyond me. Apparently a lot of Americans still believe that the CREATOR chose America as his favorite place on Earth..ever!
Which would make about as much sense as HIS deciding to finally show up over one hundred thousand years after we were fully Human, and then chooses a small group of desert wandering nomads in the middle of f*cking nowhere to announce his existance to the rest of the world..where 95% of the other Humans lived.
HUH?
HE then displays some disturbingly egocentric, adolescent, behaviour, and demands unconditional adherence to his Laws. These weren't Ten Suggestions. Now wait a minute, I'm not just singling out the Judeo-Christian format because there is plenty of blame to go around. There are lots of different versions of GOD but that is the one that was thrust upon my developing brain.
Assuming that Homo Escapeons were fully modern over 150,000 years ago, why would GOD wait until the Fifth Century BCE or the First, Seventh, Eighteenth Century or the 1950s for that matter, to show up to start cleaning up his mess?
You tell me..What was wrong with all of the Human lives that had lived for tens of thousands of years before GOD dropped in? What about their prayers? No wonder we invented all of these GODS. How else could we explain the mindnumbing unpredicatblility of Life than to invent corresponding fickle deities?
Assuming that Homo Escapeons were fully modern over 150,000 years ago, why would GOD wait until the Fifth Century BCE or the First, Seventh, Eighteenth Century or the 1950s for that matter, to show up to start cleaning up his mess?
You tell me..What was wrong with all of the Human lives that had lived for tens of thousands of years before GOD dropped in? What about their prayers? No wonder we invented all of these GODS. How else could we explain the mindnumbing unpredicatblility of Life than to invent corresponding fickle deities?
Why didn't any of those pre-GOD people matter?
First, by Jove!
ReplyDeleteJumpin' Jehosophat!
ReplyDeleteMy favourite is Kali . Now that's a goddess I can believe is in charge of the universe...
ReplyDeleteFace it Donn, if we women were In Charge everything would fall apart. The politics would be even more malicious and subliminal. There'd be a lot of stabbing and shouting. But one thing's for certain - we'd take the VAT off sanitary towels. 'Luxury item' my arse.
ooo by the way i just remembered - isn't there a whole problem surrounding Abraham? As in he's supposed to be the righteous Jew or something (this isn't my preferred area of theology, strangely enough) but he was pre-sinai and therefore a sinner and not really a Jew? Bit of a headache, I reckon.
ReplyDeleteClap,clap,clap!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love what you wrote here,from the first word till the last and I'm not gonna hide my joy,no hell,no!lol
And first there were called "gods" in all ancient civilisations and all of a sudden became only one.
yes we have fabricated so many gods and most of the time instead of joining people together for the good cause,it divides them.
This whole "God bless America" thing...I never understood that,even on a dollar note it's written:"In God we trust",isn't it?What about the right to not believing in God at all?I like America as much as I hate it,it's strange to see how can some people over there get shocked about something that's not really important and then not react at all about something that is bloody important.This is so too much sometimes.
You know there's this quote in this Marilyn Manson song(I know,I know people will associate him with the devil blah,blah,blah...)it says:"I've never really hated the one true God,but the God of the people I hate it".I think it says it all.Okay some of his song are a bit trash,lol,but I still think it's a shame that some people don't read and don't see what's behind the appearances.
He's just another man playing his part in this giant playground.It's just a show just as life is.
Funny. Just last weekend I said goddammit about something, and a smart ass said 'why do you have to bring god into it' and I said 'I don't beleive in god anyway so what the f*** do I care?' The response was unreal. Is this not the land of free religion (or lack there of?) I went to church as a kid. I think I'm a good person. I don't need some "made up" diety to tell me the difference between right and wrong.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet I can't tell people I'm an atheist because they all want to JUDGE me.
MJ
ReplyDeleteI think that you may be the last person on Earth still using that phrase..
no wait, you and Jed Clampett!
FATHORSE
But think of all the new shoe outlets that would replace all of the gunshops and automotive part outlets!
Good call..the mesopotamian patriarch Abraham of Ur was prolly invented but atleast all of the Monotheists can fall back on this shared legend as common ground and call themselves brothers...
although that didn't do much for Cain and Abel?
CANDIE BRACCI
Unfortunately anything that helps to subdivide us is not very helpful. The Wizard of Oz is such a great analysis of discovering that, in the end, we need to make things happen and not rely on a supernatural force to complete us. Most westerners think of God as some cosmic bellhop and all they do is ask for more stuff...the whole prosperity message of the southern US is nothing short of ludicrous. Like god cares if you have a McMansion when 30,000 kids starved to death that day...which brings up another issue..why doesn't he care about those other kids?
*note to future commentators please do NOT come over here and drop off the Satan is in charge of this world excuse.
Ah...the verysame question that began my deconversion from Catholicism.
ReplyDeleteAnd...kind sire... you would be the deelight of many an angry feminist, ala Mary Daly.
I continue to ask the questions. This whole gawd thing has been the primary quest in this poor life of mine. I was so obsessed I even got my degree in Religious Studies.
The best I can do with this existential question is to revert to Lila, The Dance, The Paradox, The veils, the Matrix, the eternal connection of all that is (proven by science...read the work of Gregg Braden for one).
Hahahehehohohohihi..remember The Chink from "Even Cowboys Get the Blues?"
...that this moment is the most important moment in history and it means nothing because it's already gone.
...that we are all creators of our universe at every level...and mere blips. That there isn't anyone at the helm, there isn't any outside agenda except living/creation and that WE do it in concert with the universe, of which we are a part.
That it's we humans who put valuations/story/feeling on experience. In the end it's all about creating and experience, life expanding...and what better way to expand than to create what we do want out of what we don't?
And that once we get out of our rational minds all this is logical.
And I haven't a clue. :)
Truthfully, all very exciting to me.
Good luck in your questing. When you figure it out, will you please let me know?
bravo!!! every flat little fundamentalist argument hit straight on the head..... i truly believe that god is just dog spelled backwards.... and i am blessed with a holy trinity.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading the "Earth's Children" series by Jean Auel that started with "Clan of the Cave Bear". You remember that one, doncha, with Daryl Hanna as the hot Homo Sapiens orphan adopted by Neanderthals?
ReplyDeleteThe entire series examines many of the advances we made with domestication of animals, coming up with great ideas in hunting gear, herbal medicines, and early man's respect for the "Earth Mother", which we left behind and suffered the consequences for when we went and got all modern.
How about you and me going on national TV and outright calling GOD out to a showdown? Then we'll let all the fundamentalist apologists come on to explain why he was to chicken to show up.
I noticed that "nonbelievers" are people, too. You already know my feelings on this topic----
ReplyDeleteThat sign at the end of your post is priceless!! I could wax more on this topic, but I relish re-reading your words. In that vein, I have awarded you the "Honest Scrap Award". For details about acceptance of it, please see my post "Revelations." OMG: that is ap title followup for your post, but not my content. I wrote that title before this post and refrained from puns and/or opinion.... And if you don't "do the meme" part of the award it's ok with me. You're one of the most honest, from the heart bloggers I know! I rarely do memes (like 2 in my blogging life.)
Ah, Donn, a man who recognizes the way it should be.... and acknowledges the ways of men in the havoc that has been created in this world.
ReplyDeleteHats off to you, my friend, for stating what way too many refuse to see.
I agree 100%.... absolutely.
if there is a god, he does not like me too much.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant post Donn, and fantastic comments so far. The pressure is on!
ReplyDeleteI have no time for man made ideas about religion and God, but I do have some thoughts about an experience available to man that sometimes gets called 'experiencing God'. I think perhaps this leads to and maybe starts off a lot of these crazy guys who get up there and start shouting their mouths off like they do, because they link their experience to crazy outside goings on.
A lot of people do experience transcending the world of thought. There is a peace beyond understanding, a feeling of 'at oneness' etc etc. Now I do admit it is probably just a release of certain chemicals into the body or whatever, as is every experience we have actually, but for me personally, it does give me a nice perspective on life, and I do rely on the experience to keep me sane (or, at least as sane as I am).
For me the qualities that quietly come from that experience within me are the qualities in life I admire and that is kind of how I judge it to be ok.
Of course I do realise that I may be some nutter with a faulty brain with a couple of lose connections, but I am pretty harmless, so relax, it's ok.
You raise some important issues that need to be answered.
ReplyDelete1) God is male, otherwise we would be forced to watching netball or hockey on the tv at the weekend rather than rugby and cricket. Proof, were it needed, of his compassionate nature. Although, the Americans watching basketball and ice hockey - this is their punishment see below.
2) God blessing America? He did once, not any more. He lived there quite happily with a few friends who respected his world, until the fucking pilgrim fathers turned up with their judgmental bigoted crap, at which point he felt obliged to move. He now lives in semi retirement in a small house just outside Basingstoke, spending most of his time tending his garden, where, oddly, there are no apple trees. I call in occasionally to try to get him interested in intervention in the affairs of man (I press him to send a plague on the manufacturers of mobile telephones, or to strike down exponents of ballroom dancing for example) but he is not too happy with mankind. I believe the next phase will see the dominance of an animal which is a mixture of cocker spaniels, budgerigars and giraffes. I worry for him.
i just ate a frog.
ReplyDeletejust wanna let you know.
actually it was just a tiny leg.
i hope i'm not allergic though.
had a tiny weal. most likely it is because i'm dirty.
it's nice that you'll hear anything i tell you.
*hugs*
The pre-goddites were heathens and barbarians and therefore not really people. They don't count. Don't you know you're only human and only worthy of consideration if you've accepted the Lord Jesus into your heart as your personal saviour?
ReplyDelete*hoping you pick up on the sarcasm* lol
I agree -- brilliant post. (And Fathorse: what!? You're charged VAT on sanitary towels in the UK!?) Focusing on the male/female brain, women's brains were designed to multi-task so it SHOULD be a no-brainer. That said, after this post, are you sure you're a man? (That's a compliment BTW.)
ReplyDeleteBravo Donn - I've been wracking my brain for an explanation for the global madness we are all witnessing. The greed of the few? Stars misaligned? No - cosmic PMS makes so much more sense!
ReplyDeleteI love the signs god-people make - the one end of this post is priceless. I also like the placards waved around that give the exact date to expect our doom.
ReplyDeleteI am an innocent. I have nothing to do with religion... but I quite like Christmas carols.
ReplyDeleteSx
"You could argue until the sacred cows come home." Another new Donnism and a great one at that.
ReplyDeleteThis should be required reading in all those schools that force "creationism" on kids rather than the theory of evolution.
It should be translated into every language and circulated, across the Web or by dropping little notes from airplanes to the brainwashed masses below.
Religion was invented as nothing more than a reason for people to go to war. If it hadn't been dreamed up, we'd all be living in peace and harmony.
One of your best.
Great post! Although, I do think that women are just as destructive and ambitious as men. Religion does two things: 1. It gives a reason (however outrageous) as to why things happen that is beyond our comprehension. Why do bad things happen to good people? How did the universe come into being? Is there life after death?
ReplyDelete2. It gives people permission to act on their desires, by attributing their actions as the will of a higher being, removing personal responsibility and blame from themselves.
I like learning about religion, to find out why people believe what they believe. I figure, you worship whomever you want, so long as you're not hurting anyone.
As a child, I once asked in Sunday school, What happens to all the ancient people who lived and died before Jesus? How are they going to get to heaven?
The Sunday school teacher's reply, If they believed in Jesus, then they will go to heaven..
I asked for clarification, But they lived thousands of years before Jesus, so how would they know about him if they're all ready dead long before Jesus was born?
The teacher replied, You need to stop asking those questions! All you need to know is Jesus is the way!.
I asked some more, but I was promptly dragged from class and sent to my mother for punishment. Lucky for me, my mother dismissed the teacher after telling her that if she didn't know the answer, then just say so and not try to bully people. It was so nice to see the teacher cry and then quit.
But my joy was short lived. The next Sunday school, one of my elder sisters took over teaching the class. And just like being at home, she didn't hesitate to pummel the hell out of me when I pissed her off, which seemed to happened a lot when I questioned her orders. I used to think that she was the Devil!!!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.
ReplyDeleteDr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
Jurassic Park
HOOD CHICK
ReplyDeleteOMG! One thing is certain, America may elect a woman to the White House someday, Schwarzenegger might get the law changed so that a foreign born entity such as himself could sit in the oval office, but there will NEVER EVER be an Atheist President.
GILLETTE
WOW what a great answer. I love the world is a stage analysis. I have always felt that this is the only great question to ponder and that the rest is just conversation.
If I do stumble upon a satisfactory explanation..perhaps by trying StumbleUpon...you will be the first to know.
PAISLEY
I too am an adherent of the dyslexic cosmologist who asked that great question back in the mists of millenia..is there a dog?
Perhaps I should turn my eyes towards the heavens and gaze at the constellation Canis Major... it may hold a valuable clue?
THE
Who could forget Clan Of The Cavebabe? It is interesting that as a species we steered away from identifying the rhythm and cycles of Nature as being Feminine. Pure brute strength and intimidation seem to have won the day..we still operate under these guidelines.
What if the West didn't have THE BOMB? What sort of deterrent would have prevailed througout the latter part of the 20th Century..now apparently it is OK to hide amongst the women and children and use them as human shields...from there competing ideologues can dart out and strike at the Great Satan...which brings us back to religion..again.
GEL
Sounds like you really meme it!?
I could not resist making that little churchgenerator sign and adding my mantra..if you are too diagnostic about religion you will inevitably talk yourself out of your belief..oh the irony!
I will skoot over to explore your revealing revelations.
I’m 100% with Stace: the pre-God people didn’t count at all, that’s a fact. They were just so unlucky to be born in the wrong time, soooo many years b.c.
ReplyDeleteSo that religious thing doesn’t apply to them, I guess.
I’m proud to say that I don’t count too much either, lol.
Excellent post Homey.
ReplyDeleteNot to cast doubt upon Vicus Scurra's story but I think we exist just to made gods laugh. However, Vicus, the next time you are chatting with god please ask him to cast a plague on politicans. I understand your wanting to smite ballroom dancers and mobile phones (and I completely agree with you) but politicians are the scourge of the earth and should be eliminated. Painfully and slowly.
The prehistoric godless heathens were just as miserable and clueless about life as we are - they just didn't have anyone to blame it on.
What if men and women worked together to run things? No patriarchy, no matriarchy, just a nice non-heirarchical community. And what if those same men and women let go of their tight rasp on all primitive belief systems, recognized the necessity of science in explaining the natural world and the need for treating each other with compassion and decency without resorting to religious posturing and outdated dogma. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteWhat i can never understand is that in most religionss they are trying ta beat the crap outta everyone else and it goes against what their religion says not to do...so a female exponent has exposed itself. However beating the crap outta each other therefore shows a male tendency.
ReplyDeleteIf we dabble further all this worshipping also shows female tendencies .... praying could be construed as a male thing. The list goes on!
I do note your point that the laws concerning this God person are a wee bit outta touch with the real world and come to think of it out of touch with reality itself.
Thy shall not kill...... yet the bastard is well know for setting off mother nature on a destructive journey ..... Love thy neighbour, and Ye shall not covet thy neighbours goods. How the hell is this possible???? I am suppose ta make love to the woman but because she has a husband I cant covet his goods????
The whole thing has to be a practical joke someone thought up because they were bored!
The answer to all this and more is..
ReplyDeleteGOD got an advance copy of the iPhone.
PONITA
ReplyDeleteAfter 51 years on this rock it has become impossible for moi to ignore the obvious. Now, how do we go about resolving this matter...
that is the question?
MISTI
Don't be ridiculous, everybody loves you, even god.
TOM
I concur. That being said, I am painfully aware that I recognise that the only way that this is possible is for chemicals to be released into the brain during those serendipitous moments of spirituality, which casts a wet blanket on the entire experience. Dammit!
Vicus
As always your natural ability to cut to the quick offers a soothing spiritual salve upon my silly salvational woes. You are the proverbial fly in the ointment.
If what you say is true about the next dominant species I shall begin a strict regimen of ingesting LSD every morning.
That way I can pretend that I am Dr. Doolittle and
talk to the animals,
walk with the animals,
and they can talk to me!
MISTI
As long as it wasn't a Cane Toad..maybe it was a baby? If that is the case you are about to go on a magic carpet ride courtesy of the to hallucinogenic toxins. Have a nice trip!
STACE
ReplyDeleteSarcasm? Heavens no I never got that impression...well maybe for a minute.
ANDREA
I am beginning to question my natural orientation..what is wrong with me? I had to force myself to watch a bit of the Super Bowl. I'm not interested in things that have engines..perhaps I am experiencing a metamorphisis...
NAH!
I still like all those girly parts..hey wait a minute, that would only mean that I am a lesbian?
KATE
What a delightful surprise thank you for dropping by. A regular bout of PMS would be a tremendous improvement over the constant carnage that these idiots thrust upon us. Atleast we could plan ahead and prepare ourselves..lay low and keep our heads down..don't make any spontaneous decisions...break out rations of chocolate...and keep our mouths shut.
BONNE..LULU La BONNE
I made that sign, try the generator link. It was my way of inferring that if you overanalyse the details you will talk yourself out of it. That's why they call it Faith..it is not compatable with reason and logic..it is a belief in the unprovable..which is certainly a welcome relief from trying to figure it out.
SCARLETT
I am hearing what you are saying. The traditions and pageantry are a welcome relief from the tedium of the everyday..add the gluttony and intoxication and voila, what's not to like?
WINKYBEAN
Unfortunately without religion we'd prolly still have wars over territory and sporting events. We just wouldn't be able to justify our brazen land-grabbing and cloak our motivation in all of the dogmatic rhetoric.
Somehow we need to isolate and eliminate all of the sh*t disturbers..shoot them off into outer space with the telemarketers.
EROSWINGS
ReplyDeleteI always found myself getting in trouble at Sunday School too. I asked the wrong questions..right from the getgo I asked them who Adam & Eve's sons married? For the life of me I could not wrap my head around that? The authors obviously didn't waste too much time working on that one.
I got kicked out of class for arguing about the possibility of other beings existing on other planets...not that I see any evidence of it, but the logistics would suggest that we would be ridiculously myopic to suppose that in this ever expanding universe that somewhere out there, another experiment isn't taking place...
hopefully that one is working out a little better than this mess.
XL
Ta-da! Hello. You have no idea how many times I've watched those movies..and that little speech is one of the best lines in movie history.
That perfectly encapsulates the conundrum. We seem to either destroy what we create or it destroys us. The whole idea of playing god is like crack..how can we resist. We've learned so much, in the last 200 years, but only in pockets... we have not had time to penetrate all of the old traditions and myths that so many refuse to let go of...because the men in charge of it would lose their POWER base. We need to target the children and educate them and still find a way to contain and eradicate (with extreme prejudice) the old guard.
You can't teach an old god new tricks.
LENI
Atleast the reincarnationists have that get-another-chance meme happening. For them there is a clever pathway to redemption. The monotheists are all black and white..zero-sum-gain...my way or the highway. They weren't even concerned about the logistics and their back story is riddled with loopholes...because they don't care. You either accept it wholesale or to hell with you.
CITIZEN
Damn your logic Spock! Now my theory is shot to hell. Humans usually bounce from extreme to extreme so the thought of a gender neutral autonomous collective never even entered my mind. I doubt that the two would consider sharing the power because their goals and subsequent evolutionary adaptations are soooo different.
If females are the default de-facto gender then I still think that logically they are best suited to lead.
SNAKEY
Speaking of coveting..Last night I was viewing a program on the life cycle of alpine deer. The males try to kill each other..they lose 60 pounds over the 6 weeks of the rut...talk about being in a rut?They go berserk..and all for a few seconds of fertilization...
literally,
their insemination procedure is over in the blink of an eye?
I thought Oh Deer this is a ridiculously accurate metaphor.
The other thing I noticed is that the Europeans have eliminated all of the natural predators..
every last one.
CYBERPETE
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science? I should send you the copy of the fake ad for iBoob. Implants that play music. Women complain that men stare at their breasts but don't listen to them!
Now everyone is happy.
i jsut had the finest conversation with a fellow cerebral blogger today. it is indeed, mass euphoria and the ultimate laziness of people in trusting human ability that led to the lazy concept of god. out of which the blood sports of killing, genocide came about.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, we can call ourselves agnostic, I want to, i am a scientist, but there are moments in life where we must look up somewhere in the sky and ask WHY! or well jsut say Thank you.
i dont make sense :(