homo escapeons

BOWDLERDASH!

by Lord Tennisanyone

My Word! As many of you know I was Charlie Darwin's closest confidente and companion during his search for the origin of our species.

We shared a plethora of interests and I loved him dearly, although not with the same sort of ravenous lust and undying affection that I held for our fellow naturalist, the vivacious Penelope Pinkbitz.




Here is the last known photograph of Penelope taken whilst she was off collecting birds. I can be seen in the background on my way to collect her for a spot of lunch.

That was the last time that I ever laid my eyes, or hands, on Pinkbitz.

I never saw my belusted Penelope again.

That very afternoon Charlie and I became separated during a misadventure whilst collecting scientificky specimens in the Galapogos, wherein we were inexplicably subjected to an ignominious assault from an enraged carcharodon carcharias.

I was lost at sea.

The currents carried me to the Antarctic where my frozen head was chipped from the ice and I was subsequently brought back to life....

through the miracle of cryogenics, in a laboratory next to that insufferable Walt Disney fellow.

Needless to say I am now here in the present and Mr. Coppens and I are comparing notes and trying to ascertain if any discernable progress has been made by our species.

Today's observation is on the pervasive usage of a certain word that I found myself continuously using whilst trapped beside Mr. Disney for several decades.

f*ck.

Certainly we used the F word back in the 1800's but perhaps a little review is in order.

Now when Charlie could no longer stomach the blood and gore of Medical School his old man sent him off to be a Parson.

As fortune would have it, Charlie was chosen for the unpaid position of gentleman’s companion by the aptly named Robert FitzRoy, the captain of the HMS Beagle.

Ever been to Sea?

It should come as no surprise that once you get into a boat and sail away from polite society, that even a freshly trained Theology student will start using the F word. Surely the exhuberance of youth was in effect, but we had all had enough of being told how to conduct our linguistic exchanges by the likes of insufferable expurgationists such as Thomas F*cking Bowdler.

It is the fault of Bowdler and his ilk that cursing remains an indicator of Class Distinction...

although truth be told it is mainly enforced by the Middle Class and largely ignored by those above and below.

For example, in moments of astonishment or admonishment, Her Majesty will only dare utter, "Oh My Heavens" or "intercourse the Penguin"...

whereas a completely common person will blurt out, "Oh My God!" or "F*ck Off!"..

an American would say, "O Ma Gawd!" or "F*ck Hawff!"...

and Bloggers here in cyberspace simply type in "OMG!" or "FO!"

Imagine Bowdler having the bloody nerve to edit the works of Shakespeare in order to make them more appropriate for the ears of women and children. Penelope, who was an ardent feminist, referred to Bowdler as that f*cking arsehole.

Where was I? Oh yes, the F word.

Mr. Coppens and I do enjoy going to the Pictures and I have become painfully aware that the F word is now de rigeur in Cinematic scripts...

as it is out here in the blogosphere.

You may have noticed how frequently many of my fellow British Bloggers bandy about the F word in the comment section as if there was no tomorrow...

they even use the dreaded C word..

and they use it more often than even that darling Jodie Foster does in all of her Movies.

In my day, Bowdler and many others, decided that any persons found liberally sprinkling their social intercourse with F*cks, were to be instantly recognised as loathesome, unrefined, characters, devoid of suitable articulatory abilities and vocabulary.

There was to be little doubt that such pedestrian potty-talk eminated exclusively from the mouths of lower class idiots who had been spawned amongst the great unwashed. Commoners.

This had also happened in America where those insufferable Puritans were equally adamant about enforcing this Orwellian, lexiconian, edict on the others..

including the witches that they burned and the savages that they expropriated and killed.

Well I'm afraid that I have exhausted your patience and my powers of concentration are quickly fading.

I simply wanted to elucidate upon this matter since the world is changed by the very power of words.

Since the F word may very well be the most flexible word in the Dictionary (noun/adjective/verb tr & intr/interjection you name it) it is certainly worth noting that it is still trying to shake off the stigmatism of vulgarity and class distinction attached to it Centuries ago.

Bowdlerdash!