Thursday, September 04, 2008

GO GREEN

I would like to propose a gigantic social experiment for our Civilization.

Here at Homo Escapeons we established long ago, yes we did, try to keep up, that despite several Centuries of theoretical and scientificky progress, the Social Scientists have done sweet-f*ck-all about improving the basic behaviour of human beings. Think about that. I think that we're actually getting worse.

Now think about Planes, Computers, Skyscrapers, glow in the dark rats, almost every other scientificky discipline has made improvements on their subjects.
What seems to be the problem with the tall foreheads in the Mind Sciences?

They know who & what we are,
how we got this way,
when & where we came from,
and for the most part,
they can even accurately estimate when we'll do things!

So why haven't they incorporated this knowledge into creating a viable, safe, and effective product that will last a Lifetime?
HUH?

Why has almost everything else been improved upon but us!


Only two groups have really utilized all of this psychoanalytical knowledge to their advantage. Advertisers, and of course the Military, which goes without saying.

Think about how much of your spending subconsciously goes straight into the ubiquitous pockets of the 'Brands' in order to satisfy the little image obssessed-egomaniac dancing nekked before your inner preprogrammed hard drive? We're like Manchurian Candidates except that we go off every 15 seconds when we receive an Ad.

A huge part of the problem is that Alcohol is more prevelant in our society than recreational Cannabis. Whether it's a night out at the Opera, Ball Game, Restaurant, or Social Gathering, some Alcohol Corporation has sponsored it.


Despite attempts to stop Big Booze, those bastards spent millions lobbying their way to legitimacy. Once Big Booze got to be socially accepted, they made sure that their competitors were kept verboeten.
The Bastards!

Now I propose that for one entire year alcohol is criminalized and banned and immediately replaced by legalized Pot.

Think about it...no really.

Instead of drunk assholes driving like maniacs on our streets and highways night and day, we'll have a bunch of giggling fools on their way to work eating their 4th Egg McMuffin and driving about 15 miles per hour...
and there won't be any road rage!
Who cares how long it takes..pffft!

At a football game you won't have to worry about shirtless hairy 400 pound drunks throwing up down the back of your shirt. Everyone will be a bunch of giggling fools on their 14th Hot Dog and thinking (mainly to themselves) that the last play (and every play they see) was the greatest single feat of human athleticism that has ever happened in the history of the entire Solar System...


and maybe they'll have another Hot Dog.
Forget about leaving early and missing the final touchdown because you want to beat the traffic..pffft..whatEVER!

I think that you get my driffffffft...where was I?

Oh yeah. No more fighting, assault, robbery, arson..well accidental maybe..all of that hard core misplaced aggression, gone!


Can you think of any other social situations in which this transition, and some would say that it's long overdue, would make life a hell of a lot easier for ourselves...
and the rest of us...
and that guy over there...
and the woman down the street with the thingamabob...
and your cousin in whatchamacallit...
and the..the..um...

Man am I starving!?
Send me an answer while I raid the pantry.

32 comments:

  1. I'll get right on this and send a letter to my Congressperson to submit this as a bill for the next Congressional meeting.

    Better yet, I'll ask both Presidential Candidates to add this to their platforms!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'll support you, man, just as soon as I get myself together.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Never mind having the candidates add it to their platform! Make it mandatory that all politicians or wannabe politicians smoke several joints a day.

    That way, they won't get so hell bent on making our lives hell, screwing us over for every last cent we have, and maybe they will care more about us, cuz they'll get all fuzzy and warm inside and see all the beauty in the world. (Provided there's any left....)

    ReplyDelete
  4. wow, why did it take so long to find this blog. YES legalize the marijuana. Yes Peter Tosh is singing in my head. Everything in life would be better.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Reading this, I have already gone green. In fact..all shades of it...

    Is there something like a GREEN poet?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Donn, do you have an employer? If you do, then be prepared for a drug test when you go into work tommorrow. OIhhhhhhhh.....you forgot employers read blogs to collect reasons for termination, didn't you? Yes, my dear friend, you just informed me, the world, and anybody who MIGHT care that you are a pothead! You were only kidding? Really? You think that matters? You're TOAST, dude!

    But, then again, you live in Canada....what do I know.......

    ReplyDelete
  7. lalalalalalalla...........

    I love rum
    tho it makes me kinda dumb
    can I tell you abso
    lut a let a lee
    am I numb.........

    ReplyDelete
  8. EROSWINGS
    I don't know if McCain is hip to that but he needs it to supplement his anger management program. Atleast Obama admitted that he inhaled..actually Palin admitted it too!
    Let's do it.

    VICUS
    Far F*ckin' Out Maaan!
    Hope you get centred Dude..Right On..
    WHOA!






    what did you just ask me?

    PONYGIRL
    If our politicians smoked a few bongs every day they would never get anything done? Oh, I get it.

    JUST A GIRL
    Hola! I don't know what kept you?
    I know that a lot of people think that the long term use of Grass can cause..
    um..
    will result in..
    ahhh..
    something..
    jeeze it's on the tip of my tongue..
    long term..
    Mammary no MEMORY..
    LONG TERM MEMORY LOSS!
    What a load of crap eh?

    GAUTAMI
    There's no need to be jealous..oh you meant something else.
    Sure you can be a Green Poet and riff on the whole Mother Nature thingy and worship and celebrate Sunshine and Blue Skies and butterflies and all that Natury stuff.

    MICHAEL
    Pffft!
    *giggles






    Dude.
    Chill.
    Pot is like totally legal up here Man. Our Government actually grows it Man..check it out Dude!
    http://www.hour.ca/news/news.aspx?iIDArticle=10013

    but as you might expect..
    they can't grow decent sh*t.
    ((fffffffffft))



    What were we talkin' about?.

    ReplyDelete
  9. in a perfect world brother...

    :)~

    ReplyDelete
  10. Why has almost everything else been improved upon but us!

    Because I am as perfect as one can get!

    Or so I think........

    ReplyDelete
  11. grumble...pFFsht6:53 AM

    Just remember Donn: If a truckload of Pecan Rings passes by at only 12m/sec, you could be the next world
    record holder at running 60 - 400 meter distances, with or without dreadlocks. Better yet, you would have an excuse to huff ... and puff, young Rastaman.

    ReplyDelete
  12. But that's the whole problem - society IS going to pot - and it probably suits our guvverments down to a tee to have nations of half-doped mostly-apathetic citizens to preside over. And being 2-3 times as strong as 1960s' pot, many psychiatric admissions are now pot-related, as are road traffic accidents and even murders as pot is now more liable to unhinge the sensitive than give them a big idiotic grin they can't remove! In addition it takes 3-4 days to leave the system, thus making it far more dangerous than booze re causing accidents etc.

    Re the green thang, the trouble with changing people's behaviour & tackling the problem of built-in obsolescene re goods is that people no longer have cause to buy all the sexy new eco-products in the stores and pat themselves on the back for doing their bit!

    ReplyDelete
  13. SWEETS
    In a perfect world we would only allow perfect people to breed (imagine if men looked like George Clooney or Brad Pitt and women looked like Monica Belluci..
    pause..
    or Pam Anderson) with IQs of 200+ and then scientists would carefully monitor every aspect of the child's development.
    Why are you laughing?
    Could happen!?

    WHITESNAKE
    D'OH! How could I have overlooked this fact..what an egregious and obvious ommision..sorry Dude.
    I meant all the 'other' peeps.

    GRUMBLYMON
    Yo now that the Lightning Bolt has proven that the fastest man in the world is from Jamaica, one would think that all of that idle chatter about Ganga making people live in slo-mo is pure hogwash!

    Seriously nobody saw that one comin'..not even the bookies in Vegas! Ha.

    THE POET LAURA-EATE
    What's with the negative vibes you're bringin' me down. Nobody on grass has ever laid a finger against another human being..I can only see that happening if they mixed it with ALCOHOL or one of the 'bad' drugs.
    I can say without fear of contradiction (or hyperbole) that ALCOHOL is a TRILLION, no make that a PICKLE DILLION times worse for humans.

    If the Green products were affordable, people would buy them.
    The real problem is that there are just too many people..
    time to cull the herd..
    and I mean that in the nicest way of course.

    ReplyDelete
  14. ... what about the people who get REALLY PARANOID when they smoke? I've met one or two of them ... besides which, I don't think I'd like to cope without drinking alcohol for a year, ahem. Which probably proves your point.

    ReplyDelete
  15. BETTY
    Paranoid, the Dickesn you say,
    some people get paranoid from weed?

    PARANORMAL PEOPLE????
    FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD WOMAN
    WHERE ARE THEY??..
    ARE THEY IN MY HOUSE??..
    IN MY CLOSET??
    UNDER MY BED!?
    IN MY MIND!?
    GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT!

    Don't worry it will never happen.
    Cheers
    *clinks glass

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dave's not here.

    ReplyDelete
  17. never having been much on pot,, i don't care for personal reason,, but i agree with it in theory... i would much rather deal with a pot head than a drunk.... well,, that is,, unless i am expecting them to pay half the bills........

    ReplyDelete
  18. MJ
    Cheech & Chong are going back on tour!
    Far OUT Maaaaaan!

    PAISLEY
    For the record, I'm not a Burn Out Toker because I would be an inanimate thousand pound giggling cheeto chompin' idiot...
    but I would really appreciate having to deal with silly self sedating S t o n e r s during the course of events in public,

    rather than having to cope and protect myself from the primordial asshat antics of belligerent aggressive drunken assholes!

    If only people knew their boundaries and limitations
    (sigh)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I don't need improvement. I'm abso-friggin-loootly perfect.

    Although, I'd have one hand empty if I set down my beer.

    Puff, puff pass, my man.

    ReplyDelete
  20. DUDE!!! I am so with you on this one!

    Have you read, "Reefer Maddness" by Eric Schlosser? GREAT book about this-here subject well, he also goes into the U.S. black market for porn and illegal immigrants but I think they are all related, seriously.

    You also need to rent the DVD, "Super High Me" if you haven't. Another good one on why Pot should be legal, but this one is not overtly in your face and it's kinda funny too.

    I think another social situation that needs some new thought is our fucked up border patrol crap here in the U.S. It is an operation in futility, where everyone gets screwed royally. I saw this special on National Geographic Explorer that went inside the Border Patrol stuff and it make me sick to my stomach.

    Let's make marijuana legal! Let's allow immgrants into the U.S. and figure out a HUMANE way to integrate them into our society...I mean we can frickin' clone a sheep, can't we figure out this shit????

    ReplyDelete
  21. does it come with bubbles in? I like stuff with bubbles . . .

    ReplyDelete
  22. Donnnnn!!

    If you can't change the 'comments' to some other text, maybe I can help.

    I am idiotic enuff to design my blogs from scratch myself :)


    Frankly.. never been on drugs.. always on booze. What can I do?! :-/

    ReplyDelete
  23. CATSCRATCH
    Be my guest! Be my guest!
    Put my service to the test
    Tie a napkin round you neck, cherie
    And we'll provide the rest
    Toot du jour!
    Hot Maui Wowie!
    Why, we only live to serve
    Try the green stuff, it's delicious
    Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!
    They can sing, they can dance!
    After all, miss, this is New France!
    And a roach here is never second best
    Go on, unfold your clip
    Take a whiff, and then you'll
    Be our guest
    Oui, our guest
    Be our guest!
    *applause

    RANDOM CHICK
    You're preachin' to the choir Sistah! Now I can't stop laughing at the cinematic version of Reefer Madness.

    Isn't it ridiculous how Grass has been present in all forms of Entertainment, especially Movies, for 2 generations, not to mention being smoked by Presidents, Cops, Judges, Lawyers, Doctors, and yet the American Government still treats it like Bubonic Plague...and the 'now-legalized' Liquor biz ruins millions of lives but it's OK!
    HELLO!

    You can drive drunk and kill your neighbour or rob a bank and only get a few years in Prison, but get caught with a bit of Grass and you're up the river for 20 in some States.

    It is so hypocritical..stop the madness NOW!

    ZIGGI
    Why yes it does, it's called a BONG and the bubbles are yummy.

    NAHUATL
    Dude!
    Never apologise to anyone for NOT having tried a substance that alters brainwaves.
    I am just embellishing to exagerate my point that there is NO good reason to treat Marihoochee any different than booze...
    except that Grass makes people docile giggling omnivores and booze turns them into Mr Hyde.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Well, that whole Eugenics thing back in the 50s/60s in sweden, Aus, etc made folks wary about the re-emergence of spectre of Nazism, etc...plus us Brits are kinda into that whole We're-a-shit-nation-but-we-dig-it, tho no one ever says that out loud; in fact, they'll punch yuh for being anti-patriotic lol. The class-system has made wking-cls Brits think they can never be better than they are, so they buy into Aspirational Culture instead; thinking that buying stuff makes you a better person.

    Sorry, what was the question again?

    ReplyDelete
  25. //Now I propose that for one entire year alcohol is criminalized and banned and immediately replaced by legalized Pot.// godammid, sweet hades. OMG!

    ok...that was like before i read the whole post. go green babeh.

    id say...i don't know any other beneficial theories... hemmm ive read somewhere we can replace fags with egg plants coz it has more amount of nikotine.

    okay then...how do u plan this green revolution for countries who hang drug traffickers?....like say where....GHOSTY lives!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I solved ur problem. Pretty simple. Check my tech blog.

    Next!!?!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sadly, herb makes me puke.

    ReplyDelete
  28. KEK-W
    WOAH! Dude I'll have some of whatever you're havin'.

    As a post Colonial hodge-podge Country we are sandwiched betwixt the Brits & the Yanks and it shows. The Aussies, who started out much like us, developed a rich identity thanks to their splendid geographic isolation. We may never crawl out from underneath our Overlords.

    GHOSTAY
    Look this whole ridiculous notion that Humans are going to stop tootin Weed is ludicrous and there is so much money to be made for Governments if they legalized it that they'll eventually cave in.

    The biggest justification for doing it would be to siphon the Billions of Dollars away from organized crime! HELLO!

    NUATL
    I'm sure that you did now I have to think of something clever to write in the code...D'OH!

    GILLETTE
    I know a few peeps who suffer from your affliction..except for the baked goods..Brownies, baby BROWNIES!
    Plus you're killin' two birds with one 'stone'..
    gettit?

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am 100% for legalisation of all substances that alter peoples conciousness, and 100% in favour of anyone who wants to use them being able to, as long as they don't bug anyone else. But I also strongly recommend not using any of them very often.
    And dare I say it Donn, but some of that skunk is causing havoc, as one of your commenters pointed out. It's too fucking strong!
    And as for breeding to improve the human race ......uhoh, we can't do that .....
    I think we have to accept that the human race is a flawed diamond, and the best we can do is find ways of getting by. But as usual Donn, great post to get my mind thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I am 100% for legalisation of all substances that alter peoples conciousness, and 100% in favour of anyone who wants to use them being able to, as long as they don't bug anyone else. But I also strongly recommend not using any of them very often.
    And dare I say it Donn, but some of that skunk is causing havoc, as one of your commenters pointed out. It's too fucking strong!
    And as for breeding to improve the human race ......uhoh, we can't do that .....
    I think we have to accept that the human race is a flawed diamond, and the best we can do is find ways of getting by. But as usual Donn, great post to get my mind thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Well, I have to say I have the same affliction as Gillette. I don't do ANYTHING that makes me woof my cookies, including the baked goods, unfortunately. :-(

    I don't even drink enough to get drunk, cuz it takes me DAYS to recover.... which sucks big time.

    ((sigh)) What's a girl to do????? At least I have the ability to have fun without any chemical influence!! LOL! Must be my sparkly personality...

    ReplyDelete
  32. Well this is all fine and good, your idea, but you know it will never happen. It's all about timing and colonialism and government taxation and what they want to be legal and not legal.

    They're blowin' smoke up our asses, and we know it and they know it and they know we know it and we know they know it.

    Every single event is sponsored, somehow, by a bad thing. Governments have the monopolies on alcohol and gambling (lottery tickets) and cigarette smoking -- at least in Canada -- and they also decide who can have guns and who can't.

    And, if I'm not mistaken, religions of every sort get virtually charitable status.

    So where's the incentive for any government do banish all those things when they can tax the shit out of us all AND have the advantage of governing a bunch of drunk, sick, rifle-toting maniacs intent on self-preservation who have no clue how to protect themselves and to function if the government doesn't tell them?

    OK, man, I'm goin' for a toke. Besides, it's more fun if it's illegal anyway. And the governments know that. Then they can bring in MORE money when they fine us for simple possession.

    ReplyDelete

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