Wednesday, September 03, 2008

CANADIANS PREFER BLANDS

The number one reason that most people eschew entering public office is the invasion of their personal lives. Who amongst us, love that term, could survive a microscopic investigation of their life and not look like a complete (insert your own favorite perjorative epithet)?

Due to our close proximity to the USA, we Canucks are innundated with the agonizing minutae of the Presidential campaign that has already been mercilessly hogging the news for three f*cking years.

The latest smudge on the ridiculously idealistic search for the 'perfect' candidate to rule the most powerful nation in history has landed on the Republican nominee for Vice President Tina Fey..

OOPS I mean Alaskan Governor Palin.


For those of you who are unfamiliar with their system, the Republicans (50%) are generalised as Cranky Rich Caucasian, God fearin', Church Goin', NRA Gun Totin', Right of Attila, American as Apple Pie, Flag Wavin', Military Lovin' Kick Yer Foreign Ass Patriots, and the Democrats (the other 50%) are normal, ordinary, people...
OK, OK, Democrats are a teensy bit more Liberal.

Governor Palin's political trajectory hit a glitch last weekend when it was discovered that Palin's 17 year old daughter is having a child out of wedlock ((GASP!)) but not to worry a shotgun weddin' was hurridly announced.
WHEW!

To his credit, the Democrat's Candidate, and Breath Of Fresh Air, Barrack Obama, has publicly stated that 'talkin' trash' about any of the Candidate's family members is completely out of bounds...
but that hasn't stopped the Press who were bored silly and sidetracked from any getting juicy gossip..I mean hard news...
during the Republican's Self Congratulatory Convention when the Hurricanes breaching the shores of the Southern States preempted most of the hoopla.
Republican candidate John McCain has a very interesting personal life that hasn't seemed to have been picked up by the proparazzi yet? His Prisoner Of War story is well documented and I don't know anyone who could deny his intestinal fortitude..
it is afterall his trump card..
well that and being a notorious against the grain anti-Beltway Lobbyist asskicker.

However, last night on National Television Fred Thompson (who I thought would win the nomination because he was both an Actor and a Senator) injected some rather risqué information about McCain's rebellious antics as a young Naval Officer...
it certainly is the era of way, way, too much information and I believe that it was in very poor judgement to toss out dirty laundry in front of the 'Family Values' crowd.

The political dice that he was rollin', character, was thrown on the table for the Newsarrazi, and McCain's past might not survive the scrutiny of his own party.
Thompson talked about McCain's early career bumps when he was a randy, young, Naval Pilot who dated local strippers..
I imagine this was conceived by the tall foreheads of the GOP as a clever way to preempt any future Newsarazzi attacks on McCain's character?
NOT!

Anyway it aroused my curiousity and I found all sorts of websites HERE that dissect McCain's personal life in an unfavorable light. Even worse, but funny as hell, are the disturbingly familiar links and Lefty Smartass sendups at DIKIPEDIA
*If you loathe Barry Bonds, you simply must have a lash.


ANYWAY, I knew that McCain's first wife, Carol, was a former swimsuit model who suffered serious injuries in a terrible car accident while McCain was a POW and that she didn't want him to know about it because it might tarnish his resolve to survive...(who amonst us is not feeling a little verklempt)..

what-a-gal, the real deal!
I didn't know that his current wife Cindy (strategically portrayed as a perfect blend of MILF schwing & stony stoicism) was an heiress who inherited and chairs a $100 Million Beer Distribution Company..
to her credit she also does a ton of charitable work but wth nobody will remember that.

McCain married her one month after he moved out.

Now to be fair McCain has admitted that he was a total dick about the way he ended his first marriage and really, he had just survived 5 & 1/2 years of constant torture! Who amongst us could say that such an ordeal wouldn't affect the way they approached a second chance at life? Hmm?

Now it's Palin's turn to be mercilessly plopped under the Newsarrazi microscope and in this vapid culture of Celebrity the great unwashed cry out for dirt, scandal and schandenfreude! Not many people, nevermind egomaniacal Politicians, can withstand such scrutiny, and is it really necessary for our Leaders to be Boyscouts and Girl Guides in their Private lives?

The French certainly don't think so check out President Nicolas Sarkozy!
Ooh la la..

Vive le difference!

What it did make me realise is that we Canadians are mercifully free of such Celebratorial National Enquiries because our Prime Minister is a no-nonsense, charismatically challenged, bland Economist of no fixed idiosyncracies...

other than he will be forever remembered for shaking hands with his children, in lieu of giving them a hug, when he dropped them off at school for a campaign photo op.

So I realised that we Canadians really are different than Americans..we appreciate and prefer bland practical civil servants and abhor and eschew the garish spectacle of the modern American Political process.

Having an uncelebrated whathisface running the Country is not a bad thing...
maybe the Yanks should take a page from our playbook for a change?

Q.
Don't you just hate the uber hypocrisy of YOUR Political Process?

30 comments:

  1. Atleast Sarkozy is considered good looking! I suppose that excuses him!

    And I can get frivolous at times!

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  2. No! Of course I don't just hate it. I really hate it.

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  3. Now would be a good time to give 'Laska back to Canada.
    You want?

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  4. Is it any wonder the Russians are so damn nostalgic for empire? Why a good portion of them practically WORSHIP their new emperor? Look at what WE have taught them about democracy.........."them that HAS is democratic....them that don't are FRENCH!"

    Name me ONE Russian who'd want to be French!

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  5. I've never really understood the common practice of dragging somebody's eons-old private life out into the media, as if it's relevant to their ability to govern (or do any other job for that matter). Ridiculous.

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  6. That Alaska Gov seems crooked...like the Alaskan Highway!

    Still, it's a sad part of American politics to have your personal lives examined...well, you figure the gov't is digging into your private info, so why shouldn't you get a chance to do some digging on the people who run the gov't? We should know the kinds of perverts we're putting in charge of our country.

    I blame President Reagan; he set the standard that Washington is just as famous as Hollywood! The scandals are pretty much the same, not to mention the number of fake boobs in Hollywood equals the number of twats (s)elected to Washington...

    On the plus side, all this dirt digging on the politicians is a nice break from seeing those Hollywood twats (shorn and STD ridden) getting out of cars with legs spread out to declare an Open Door Policy, walk ins accepted--no appt necessary, enter at your own risk.

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  7. The Canadian political process may be bland but it is thankfully SHORT!!!

    The Americans go on AD NAUSEUM with theirs.... it is bloody painful!

    I hate politics, period. They are all crooked liars and you can't trust em as far as you could throw em.... probably even less. It doesn't matter what they say, whether campaigning or already elected.... they do as they damn well please anyways, especially if there's a few bucks greasing the palms (in some manner).

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  8. Politics has a PROCESS?

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  9. I do hate the hypocrisy, but I hate what my country has done in the past 8 years more - so by God, I'll be voting.

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  10. Do you have any empty rooms in your house? 'Cause if McCain wins this election, I'm moving to Canada!

    Lol --Dickipedia -- love it!

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  11. oh! and you forgot the other sympathy card for Palin -- her down syndrome baby that she had at 44. What a trooper!

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  12. GAUTAMI
    Well now Sarkozy is good looking so it's OK eh? It's all so very European isn't it? I mean a refined man without a mistress would be a total loser.


    VICUS
    Thank goodness that the crowning achievement of hundreds of years of British Democratic Rule, was the people's unanimous coronation of Boris as King, of London, which hopefully broke the desperate spirit of the naysayers who proclaim that the will of the people has become a whisper in the darkness.

    ALLAN
    Now the notion of getting Alaska back is a pipeline dream.

    McCain is going to tap that 'Aska!
    I wonder if the old captain of the Valdez will become the Minister of the Interior..and Exterior.

    MICHAEL
    Name one Russian who'd want to be frenched? OK Putin, Tolstoy, Stalin, Lenin, Solzhenitsyn, Tretiak, Kharlamov, Mikhailov...
    OH French!?
    Ok just Baryshnikov and maybe Boris Badinov

    STACE
    Wouldn't you like to know if they tortured small mammals when they were a kid? That's how most serial killers get started..
    I betcha Stalin tortured cats.

    ReplyDelete
  13. EROSWINGS
    I watched her speech tonight and I am convinced that she will make a great Hockey Mom.

    I hear what you're sayin' about Celebritney..hell, her leave it to beaver shot in the Limo weren't no pretty picture..dayam!
    She looked like an ordinary Girl..what a disapointment...I think the fact that she didn't have something extra down there is what caused such a br'hoo-ha-ha' in the first place..
    made girls gone wild look like Citizen Kane..
    dayam!

    PONYGIRL
    Now, Now, let's not paint all Politicians with the same brush. Some of them are far more sophisticated than others..
    especially the slick scallywags who smile while they admit on National Television that through some inexplicable bizarre accounting errors (blush) last year the Feds allocated $62 Billion to see if Moose could learn to read Highway signs 'Warning Moose Crossing next 5 Kms'...in either red or yellow and of course in both official languages..

    and only $170.89 went to the Canada Pension Plan..
    You gotta love it.

    STEVE
    A WHAT?

    CITIZEN MONDO
    Before you toss that Ralph f*cking Nader another spoiler vote, you had better check him out on Dickipedia..
    here's the link;
    http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=Ralph_Nader

    Pleasepleaseplease reconsider?

    ANGELA
    Isn't Dick a larf!? Did you read OJ and Barry Bonds? Awesome.

    Yes you can come and live with us by all means..I still think that McCain is going to squeak by so it will be a little crowded.

    She can also field dress a Moose!

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  14. Personally, I don't think you'll ever beat Paul Martin as your Prime Minister. Those were the days...

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  15. The leader of our opposition, David Cameron, has the same political guru as Barack Obama.

    Which doesn't make me like Cameron more but makes me like Obama much less.

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  16. Donnnnn for Prime Minister.

    ReplyDelete
  17. PAUL
    Canada was dealt a huge setback in 1990 when the old boys network of the Liberal Party plopped Chretien in the driver's seat instead of Martin. That was our window. We were robbed and now the Tories are going to remain in power for a very long time.
    The Liberal Party is stuck in a huge morass of backroom dealings that primarily focus on Upper Canada. Now that the Economic power has shifted West they are flapping in the breeze clinging to a vision of Canada that expired.
    Canada is no longer Ontario, Quebec and the straggler have not Provinces.
    Like the gang in Washington DC, the satraps in Ottawa didn't get that memo and the horse has left the barn. Atleast in the States, Joe Sixpack has an over-riding sense of Nationalism, here we are a little more Provincialist. Belgium couldn't maintain a bilingual society and I fear that the same fate awaits us.. Ottawa would NEVER dare have a referendum on this issue...EVER.

    but hey, these people know what is best for us right?

    GEOFF
    The great paradox of all this Leadership hoopla is that the average working people keep the whole thing going...
    the guy who fixes the hydro lines or repairs the roads or cleans the operating room.

    People want to believe that somebody is in charge and sets a course, but day to day life is in the hands of the everyman and we're afraid to admit that. If all of the politicians vanished Life would go on.

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  18. MJ
    I humbly accept your nomination for the Presidency of the United Provinces of Canada!

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  19. MJ
    btw here is a little insider tip..
    I will be moving the Capitol to the Centre of the country where it should be, so you might want to start buying land here.

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  20. Sarko handsome? Eww nooo... Carla is beautiful, but not him!

    Try this little game: imagine him wearing a boiler suit or overalls instead of expensive Italian jackets as le Président de la République. Not so gorgeous, eh? :P

    And answering to your question, yes, I hate the hypocrisy of the political process. When candidates are unable to offer a fair political debate... they do this too often.

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  21. LENI
    Oui, le Président de la République is only a moustache away from being Inspector Clouseau!

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  22. Donnnn, I would vote for you! And moving the capital to our neck of the woods would be a great idea!

    Can I be your Minister of Health? Huh, huh? Can I please??? I have the background, unlike a lot of those folks who get the gig.

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  23. And Mc Cain's not a young chap - so we can look forward to Annie Oakley as president. Like a female Lyndon Johnson.

    Oh and I used to long for a handshake from my dad.

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  24. Did you think I excused him?

    Well, after three years of being blogging pals, he(Donn, that is) still does not know me very well, does he?

    Chris, where are you?! I need your support to thrash him to pulp!

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  25. It's a tricky thing this polywallytics isn't it? I don't know who to vote for over here - I hate them all equally. If only I could hate some more than others it would make it easier.

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  26. All things considered, I am finding the politics stateside this year rather interesting - much like a soap opera of sorts.

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  27. I personally love this part of politics. You know, the dirty laundry, the mud slinging. Too bad they don't jello wrestle or something.

    I should totally run for office. Nobody could get any dirt on me. All of my evil doings and bad judgement calls are proudly on display here on Blogger's Avenue.

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  28. Just think...if Alaska was a part of Canada instead of the US, she'd be your pol instead of ours! Sure with they had listened to you last week.

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  29. PONYGIRL
    Okay you can be the Minister of Health and start a National Pet Care Department that prohibits assholes from ever coming in contact with animals.

    KAZ
    Ha yes nothing says I Love You like a firm handshake from yer Pappy.

    Annie Oakley would make an awesome VP..she will be kickin' ass and takin' names! YeeHAW!

    GAUTAMI
    I know that you were being facetious for heaven sake woman...and you'd need more muscle than that little girlie man to thrash me...seriously..haven't you seen all the nekked pictures of him on his blog..he needs to call Adnan Khashoggi and buy some 'arms'! HA.

    ZIGGI
    This goes right to the core of the matter..how do we ever encourage good people to run for politics.. the way things are only deeply self absorbed individuals with superiority complexes can be tempted..except Obama and Boris Johnson.

    ELIZABETH
    Hi...thanks for dropping by. Their over the top hyperbole is fascinating..but we Canucks lack the impetus to pursue such elaborate extravaganzas because we aren't powerful enough to change the world...and thank goodness for that because we are prolly too idealistic.

    CATSCRATCH
    That is a brilliant plan and the shrewdest of career moves. Way to outmanouever the paparazzi!
    Now you need to raise about $100 million dollars..call me.

    GILLETTE
    Do you think that is a coinky dink? I think not. I believe that my post made them nervous and they thought what better way to ensure that Alaskans want to stay in America, even though it is obviously a part of Canada, than to yoink their Governor out and make her VP.
    Sheesh talk about overkill!

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  30. We are going back in time on Donn's blog... reading posts written before.. one by one.

    Back to innocence. =D

    ReplyDelete

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