Wednesday, May 14, 2008


I'm coaching my son's soccer team..9 girls and 2 boys.

They are adorable and goofy 7 year old kids who just want to
PLAY and have fun..
which is exactly what they should be doing at their
STAGE in Life..

What struck me at last night's game was the inevitability of these kids being nudged into a new phase in Life.
For the last seven years their Parents have been instilling the ground rules of a Kinder, Gentler, Life..
you know the

What this means is that the kids will NOT attempt to 'steal' the ball from an oncoming opponent...

that would be rude!

However now all of the Parents on the sidelines start yelling..
I mean dramatically encouraging and not-so-subtly coaxing their little angels to...

And so it begins...

Humans need to play.

We are prolly at our creative best when we tackle problem solving in a playful manner. That's why those state of the art Hi-Tech Silicon Valley Corporations have Recreational Rooms for their 'partners' to decompress in...
some even have Nap Rooms because sooner or later everybody needs a Time Out!

So right now I am witnessing this transition from the Kindergarten Absolutes such as...

be considerate of others, be kind and polite, share, don't smoke, wait your turn, don't pick your nose, don't steal someone else's stuff, wash your hands after you go to the bathroom, use a condom, don't spit in public, always vote Liberal/Democrat even if the candidate is an idiot, the Earth is NOT 4,000 years old, Country music sucks, don't drink and drive


to the bending the rules stage in order to 'get ahead in Life'.

We do this to our kids because we know all too well that some people's kids don't play by the rules...
otherwise known as invoking their right to voluntarily disassociate themselves, and not be held liable, and therefore rendered judgement free, of any past, present or future misrepresentitations, promised or incurred, during activities consciously or unconsciously exercised, regarding any discretionary personal interpretations, or liberties taken, with the aforementioned technical definitions of the proper conduct clause, pursuant to the Kindergarten Rules Act, enacted since the dawn of Civilization.

When we reach adulthood we absofrickinlutely HATE people who don't play by the rules.

When they get ahead of us our moral indignation reaches it's breaking point.

Some people are genetically gifted from the getgo and others practice and practice and practice until they master something.
It is natural to resent the first group (what are ya gonna do?)
but you have to admire the latter.

People who look at Life as a Game are annoying too. Those who make money hand over fist by treating business as a Game are especially vexing...
but they love making money because they are playing..
some of them lie, cheat, and steal and some of them don't.

Either way at some point we all began to realise that we are competing with others. We try to get on a Team of like minded people who play by the rules and then, and only then, can we feel better about playing on a level playing field.
HA! If Life were only like that!

This is why most of us, ordinary people who are playing the Game Of Life at a moderately functional level to those of us who are severely structured, have such a hard time with cheaters!
We can't understand
A;WHY the 'CHEATERS' don't seem to know the f***ing rules,
& B; WHY they seem to get away with it.

Why should you play by any set of rules if other people ignore them and cheat?
Well listen up Pilgrim and listen good, because I'll tell you WHY, and this is exactly what my Parents told me...


That's why!

Anyway I just wanted to mention how sad it is to see the End of Innocence unfold.

I will continue to enforce all of those quaint 'Old Fashioned' notions and make sure that those cute kids have FUN playing by the rules.

In a few short years those sweet, little, kids will need to decide for themselves how they'll play when they finally make it to 'The Show'.


  1. YAY FIRST!!!

    Oh and 'kick him in the shins' is a very popular phrase for parents to yell out during football.

    I never played football myself and I'm one of those law abiding citizens who hold everyone else at the same high standard I have myself. Hoping that it somehow does rub off on them.

    It doesn't.

    Another thing, the 'because' reason never did anything for me. It never helped I just kept questioning until my parents sent me to my room without dinner.

  2. I would have been first if it wasn't for CyberPoof up there.

    He cheated.

  3. Kids often do what they see adults do. Parents yell at their kids' teachers, scream at the coaches, cuss (bceause I'm a Southerner) the cashier, write hot-headed letters to the editor filled with bad grammar, and otherwsie display a remarkable lack of civility. Oh, and start wars. There's that. What do we expect? I'll stick with teaching consideration for others.

  4. We really need to work on the idea that rules should make sense, and once that is settled, I have no problem with simply slamming them against the wall and shooting them. Those that witness this demonstration of "consequence" soon get the idea that perhaps rules are really cool, since they make life alot simpler for everybody and when you follow them, YOU DON'T GET PUT AGAINST THE WALL AND WASTED!

    Calm down, Michael..........breath........

    Anyway, it really does boil down to a lack of enforced consequence, Parent's wanting to shield their kids from consequence because they are "special", workers putting up with bosses who scream and yell and throw tantrums because nobody realized the value of taking that idiot out to the parking lot and correcting their behavior the old fashioned way. Then there are those who (mostly in the South) who refuse to join unions because they just might get ahead by kissing up to bosses rather than watching their coworkers back, which is why most Southerners and other equally self-defeated type peoples will spend most of their time bent over getting their rewards rather than getting rewarded for their hard work.

    If I offended any "Southerners"......well, to bad, I was born in Mississippi: I have license, so prove me wrong or just shut up about it. I sure as hell didn't vote for Bush.

  5. it seems as if all of the child has been taken out of childhood... parents have scheduled activities and competitive sports occupying so much of a child's time,, i cant even imagine when they have time to use or even develop a sense of true fun...

  6. p.s. i cant believe you have sid vicious version of my way on your player!!!!! totally cool... i am a sid and nancy freak!!!!!

  7. Agression at its best.

    come check out my Reward post Donn :)


  8. Ya should come over here and I'll take ya to the footy here..


    Aussie Rules Footy fans are the funniest and the best and the most entertaining.

    when a goal is scored the goal umpire has his arms at his side and bent at the elbow. Pointing the index finger out the other fingers clenched.

    As the ball sails through the up rights ...some shouts out at the goal umpire......
    The umpire unmoved proceeds to do his job signaling a goal via the above.......
    To which the crowd will shout.......


    Ok ya gotta be there ok!
    Canadians never get anything nor do americians or english or french or ukranians nor chinese nor blah blah blah blah!

  9. I'm too old to have a soccer mom, and I don't have kids. The game strikes me as life in miniature though. Too much emphasis on winning. The individual stress of playing by the rules, or taking a calculated risk and maybe not getting caught. Learning to hate someone exactly like you, with a different color jersey. The spectators are worse. Booing a skillful play, when the other team makes it.

    As for the suggestion above about lining them up against a wall, there is a very old problem: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

    It's really amazing who finds themselves up against a wall in the kind of society that does such things. I am a fan of immediate and known consequences though.

  10. Excellent.

    Using a condom is a Kindergarten Absolute? I kinda like your son's odds...9 girls and 2 boys.

    He's in his glory, I'm sure.

    I really get this. For the kids, this is a whole new step in their socialization and being exposed to competition and cheating and trying.

    It's a crucial stage. Good on you for being a huge part of it for them.

    I can picture the yelling parents, and it makes me recoil a little...parents are often the biggest babies and bad examples when it comes to sports events and their kids.

    The key is to be supportive of the concept of sport and how your child fits into it, not to go crazy. Too many parents don't get that.

  11. It's the conflict between the competitive human nature, and the niceties we try to teach each other due to our inescapably Judaeo-Christian influences. We're all conflicted, no matter our age, because our instincts tell us to compete and self-preserve and enjoy ourselves, whilst society and/or religion tell us to be nice. Most adults get around it by telling themselves that they're not really like that, they're just trying to get the best for their family, or some such excuse. Kids don't have that ability to justify themselves, it's no wonder they're confused by their own actions and what different people urge them to do under different motivations.

  12. I second you 100%, Donn. ;))

    It all lies on respect for the others, and it has to be learnt at home and school as early as possible!

    Great post!

  13. It's a good thing my parents taught me those things, because we had no kindergarten in my town at that time. From what I've seen since my kids came along, the same lessons have to be reinforced every year... you can't rely on kindergarten.

  14. Actually ever-so-slightly off track bring to mind the 7-up series...remember Michael Apted following the lives of children from th age of seven:!

    "The premise of the film was taken from the Jesuit motto "Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man," which is based on a quote by Francis Xavier"

    I do believe the foundation is very important. Get the foundation right and I think it's possible to weather the manure that flings up from the wheels of life, the cheaters, the rule breakers...the good and the bad stuff, the challenges..

    Whitesnake, man you forgot the STREAKERS! LOL!


  15. holy snaps. I love soccer, but by the end of the 90 mins I will br cursing like there is no tomorrow. its coz the others are so sadistic that you wish to send them to a volcano, you know... a red card and you're sacrificed! grrr.

    hey soccer you drive a volvo? :P

  16. *Sorry I'm late but I was without a 'Modum' Operendi for two days...

    Reason Schmeason!
    Nowadays if Parents sent their kids to their room without supper they would be incarcerated!..BUT
    there wouldn't be so many obese kids! You just can't win?

    Cheaters never pros-per!
    Remember that one?
    I still prefer invoking the timeless retort;
    "I know you are but what am I INFINITY!" to win all of my arguments.

    Don't hold back just tell me how you really feel.
    Here in Canada our Conservative Party is trying to tweak the Young Offenders Act because it has no teeth...
    there are a couple of factors that make improving this situation almost impossible
    First and foremost is the issue of how OLD one needs to be to KNOW that what you're doing is wrong..answer about 4! But there are plenty of Ivory Tower Academia Nuts who still think that almost any child can be rehabilitated.
    Poverty, Generations of perpetually impoverished Parenting, and the handcuffs of Political Correctness have the vast majority pulling their hair out....something has to give.

    Sid's version is THE defining is the version that I made all of kids listen to for it's snarky sublime attitude and kitschy perfection.

    Now that Helicopter Parents imagine little Johnny and Jenny's world as overloaded with pedophiles at every streetcorner they become Helicopter Parents and need to hover over them to guard them and they also keep them busy so that they don't get ptregnant and score Goals and Not Drugs!

    Back in the 60s I used to walk myself to the Community Centre and play wahtever seasonal sport and just walk back..sometimes it was dark! Nobody would EVER let their kids walk anywhere now.

    We need to be competitive and as long as everyone plays by the rules we can accept our limitations AND find our unique strengths...just like other pack animals once we know where we stand we can relax and chill.

    That good Ole Aussie irreverence makes us uber-polite Canucks absolutely green with envy.

    Thanks..the last I read you were taking a break..are you back?

    The NICE thing is that at this stage the Parents are still gentle and encouraging..but as I recall from my older kids sporting days it doesn't take long for the long knives to come out.

    Few things in Life are MORE pathetic than seeing a Parent living vicariously th=rough the athleticism of their IF that has any reflection on you..guess what Parent..that ISN'T YOU out there in a time warp is another person.
    I'll save my breath.

    We are all competing for food, territory and mates, always have been always will, and all of the add on Rules that we have invented have been enforced to calm everyone down and prevent us from slaughtering each other...although on National levels that doesn't seem to work any better now than it ever did.

    We're pathetic, really...because it onlt takes a few sh*t disturbers to whip up a bunch of people and send them off to War.

    HOW on earth do we deal with all of the offspring who are raised to hate and live to eradicate other people who think differently?

    Most people are nice, some even charming, but for the most part nearly all of us are content to's those other assholes, the extremely tedious twats that need a good spanking.

    Teachers these days complain about having to teach basic interpersonal skills instead of focussing on educational matters...the biggest difference is this..when I was in grade school in the 60s you were terrified of the school sending home to tell your parents that you were lazy or naughty..then you were in real trouble!
    Now parents get defensive and say that the Teacher must be an idiot and that there couldn't be abnything wrong with their say I'll sue you!
    WHACK! It's a mess.

    I am aware of that series. What ever happened to Streaking? My guess is that now that you can see nekkid people doing unimaginable things on the Internet 24/7 the quaint notion of a nekkid feller just ain't amusing anymore...
    I must admit that I streaked a few times back in the 70s and it was well received whereas now somebody would be calling the cops on their cell and I can't run very fast anymore..or very far for that matter...and I don't have that svelt young oh man I guess that there are TONS of very good reasons why I don't streak anymore HA!

    Soccer Dad in a Van...
    I am a cliche! WOOT!

    What are ya gonna do?

  18. Yep, it's a choice we all end up having to make - sooner or later. And again right: once we choose, we choose seek out others who made the same choice we did. It's just easier. That's all. And right, somehow.

    Me? Well. It's my job to make sure all the cheaters and slackers pay through the nose! Wanna join me? ^_^

  19. G.W. BUSH7:53 p.m.

    Cheaters win!

  20. Oh saweeeet! I went to my friend's kid's soccer (futbol for the rest of the world) game and it was so much fun... the defense was always looking at the pretty butterfly in the air... or the cloud that looked like Spongebob... while the offense was coming down the field... kids... gotta love 'em!

  21. So I lost the race by coming here late?!

  22. So you are re-inventing yourself again?

  23. When you hear a mother yell:"Hit the fuckin' ball! Jesus Christ!" you wonder whether the parents should be banned from attending games.

    And, sadly, GW Bush's comment(above) is on the nail.

  24. aaah... the longing for a longer childhood. is that not a sign of the onset of a middle age crisis?


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