HOMO ESCAPEONS:
Welcome to an Autodidact's egregiously oversimplified pleonasmic emporium of hodge-podgery
Saturday, March 01, 2008
My research indicates that the amount of time that it takes to read this sentence is about as long as most bloggers (and lurkers) want to spend reading your post.
... although many of us just want to see an amusing picture, so we can make an amusing comment about the amusing picture.
Besides, you've got something in brackets, which is a bit complicated. Oh, and there's a word in there with three syllables, which will put a lot of people off.
vicus, No. Since précises are generally 100 to 200 words in length, the reader would have lapsed into somnambulistic shock long before reaching the conclusion.
if all posts were this long my life would be full of painful, long, unoccupied stretches of unimaginably tedious time. Thanks terribly for your contribution.
You might be right for the first time someone reads your blog but I can assure you that once one is hooked you can write two sentences and they will read them.
You might be wasting your time with three sentences, though. :o)
I think Tom 909 has kind of hit the nail on the proverbial head.
You go all over the place, and sometimes it's hard to follow you, you dense dork.
But then that's why we love you.
You're not just off the wall, you're off the stratosphere. From whence to these words come?
I bet if we did a survey, and you could tell this from your hit numbers and times, more people spend more time reading your posts, in minutes, than they do anyone else's.
That's not to diss anyone else's blogs at all, but only to say that your posts are so complex, in a digestible way, that people get what you're saying and they can laugh at the same time and be informed and widen their awareness.
And even if they don't get exactly what you're saying, they just like to be exposed to your attempts at trying.
I think you should ditch the cowboy hat and go back to being your insightful, warped self.
And get that moose fixed. You're having far too much fun with Photoshop.
What, so you draw us all in and then diss us all? We love coming here, it's the best little eek-community in the interweb. We look forward to your responses to our comments as much as we look forward to your posts.
Where is Lord Tennisanyone anyway? I'd like to hear his thoughts on those poor non-blogging souls out there. They just don't know what they're missing.
"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly." Woody Allen
If you've already heard this, don't stop me because I really don't care if you have heard it before.
Superman's flying around one day with nothing to do, and he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing nude on a rooftop.
"I'm gonna get a piece of that, and it'll happen so fast she'll never know," Superman thought before diving toward her and doing the Krypton horizontal bop in 2.3 seconds and flying away with a smug feeling.
"What was that?" Wonder Woman exclaimed.
"I don't know, but my rectum feels like it was jackhammered," the Invisible Man cried.
Of course it's a real song. There's an album called Short Music For Short People, it's 101 punk songs under 30 seconds. The very first song is the Fizzy Bangers - Short Attention Span.
"Why can't people understand, I got a short attention span, short attention span!"
fronty, HA! I hope that Sue Richards doesn't find out! She had a good thing goin'on with Mr Invisible.. apparently Mr Fantastic is a bit of a misnomer?
keshi, That's why I don't bother putting a video clip on my sidebar.
stace, So did they squeeze 400 on songs on the CD?
menchie, You're welcome. Wasn't this a nice treat?
citizen del mondo, Hopefully my IT crew will be able to trim these down so that the customers will have a positive experience. Maybe I need Greeters?
Danke für das Kommentieren/Gracias por comentar/Merci du commentaire/Вы для комментария/Thank You for commenting/Σας ευχαριστώ για το σχολιασμό/Grazie per commentare/Tak for kommentaren...
... although many of us just want to see an amusing picture, so we can make an amusing comment about the amusing picture.
ReplyDeleteBesides, you've got something in brackets, which is a bit complicated. Oh, and there's a word in there with three syllables, which will put a lot of people off.
I hope this is helpful.
That is so the right length.
ReplyDeleteAs the Oscar winning actress said to the bishop.
Can you precis that please?
ReplyDeletebetty,
ReplyDeleteExtremely helpful. Thank You.
geoff,
You are most welcome.
vicus,
No. Since précises are generally 100 to 200 words in length, the reader would have lapsed into somnambulistic shock long before reaching the conclusion.
So, what do we do with the remaining 29 minutes?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI dozed off.
ReplyDeleteWhat were you saying?
THE michael,
ReplyDeleteGo and read 29 more Blogs!
MJ,
I said (((yawwwwn))
Uhuhuh?
It was so long ago that I forget.
Some of us have an attention span longer than 7 seconds. I would like to believe that I'm one of them.
ReplyDeleteand the point was?
ReplyDeletereally?1
ReplyDeletedang!
Hi Gautami... :D am i still grounded :(?
stace,
ReplyDeleteYou certainly are and did you really time it?
7 seconds!? Hey that's a great song by Neneh Cherry!
I apologise for going over the 5 second rule...hey it's sort of like dropping food on the floor eh?
gautami,
No point. As Dragnet's Joe Friday would say, "Just the facts Ma'am."
The blogosphere is a Darwinian Colloseum littered with the remains of writers foolhardy enough to challenge the zeitgeist of the modern age; NEXT!
ghostay,
Pssst...here's a tip and you'll keep it under your hat if you value your dignity.
Just pretend that it never happened and she'll forget about it a year or so.
I don't have time for this!
ReplyDeletea year! okaaay.... 2009...hmmm...
ReplyDeleteif all posts were this long my life would be full of painful, long, unoccupied stretches of unimaginably tedious time. Thanks terribly for your contribution.
ReplyDeleteYou might be right for the first time someone reads your blog but I can assure you that once one is hooked you can write two sentences and they will read them.
ReplyDeleteYou might be wasting your time with three sentences, though. :o)
Actually I was thinking of a song called "Short Attention Span", which only goes for 7 seconds. Even then, Aidan never listens to the last bit of it.
ReplyDeleteSo your last post tells us blogging is better than sex, and then this post lasts even less time than sex. I'm confused.
ReplyDeleteI think Tom 909 has kind of hit the nail on the proverbial head.
ReplyDeleteYou go all over the place, and sometimes it's hard to follow you, you dense dork.
But then that's why we love you.
You're not just off the wall, you're off the stratosphere. From whence to these words come?
I bet if we did a survey, and you could tell this from your hit numbers and times, more people spend more time reading your posts, in minutes, than they do anyone else's.
That's not to diss anyone else's blogs at all, but only to say that your posts are so complex, in a digestible way, that people get what you're saying and they can laugh at the same time and be informed and widen their awareness.
And even if they don't get exactly what you're saying, they just like to be exposed to your attempts at trying.
I think you should ditch the cowboy hat and go back to being your insightful, warped self.
And get that moose fixed. You're having far too much fun with Photoshop.
I'll see you Monday night.
What, so you draw us all in and then diss us all? We love coming here, it's the best little eek-community in the interweb. We look forward to your responses to our comments as much as we look forward to your posts.
ReplyDeleteWhere is Lord Tennisanyone anyway? I'd like to hear his thoughts on those poor non-blogging souls out there. They just don't know what they're missing.
Thanks for distracting me with th emention of Neneh Cherry, although I was more partial to "Buffalo Stance"
ReplyDeleteNow, what was this post about?
"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
ReplyDeleteWoody Allen
mj,
ReplyDeleteMe too!
ghostay,
It goes by pretty fast. If I can do it anyone can.
fathorse,
"Thanks terribly for your contribution".
You're awfully welcome.
krimo,
Trois phrases? Le coeur soit immobile. That is fantastic news, I love a challenge!
stace,
Is that a REAL song?
tom,
What do you mean this post lasts longer than sex?
We can't all be Tantric olympians like Sting?
without winter,
I just need to learn how to write more concisely. That's NOT a Moose it's a Dragon!
spentrails,
Lord Tennisanyone deserves another kick at the cat..or is that can?
I'll ring him up and see if he's ready.
fronty,
HA. What's she doin' with him anyway? That song had a weird video that I cannot scrub from my skull.
miss cellania,
AWESOME COMMENT! 100 points and you move on to the next round.
Speaking of sex, it's time for a really bad joke.
ReplyDeleteIf you've already heard this, don't stop me because I really don't care if you have heard it before.
Superman's flying around one day with nothing to do, and he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing nude on a rooftop.
"I'm gonna get a piece of that, and it'll happen so fast she'll never know," Superman thought before diving toward her and doing the Krypton horizontal bop in 2.3 seconds and flying away with a smug feeling.
"What was that?" Wonder Woman exclaimed.
"I don't know, but my rectum feels like it was jackhammered," the Invisible Man cried.
sorry I hv my iPod on. LOL!
ReplyDeleteKeshi.
Of course it's a real song. There's an album called Short Music For Short People, it's 101 punk songs under 30 seconds. The very first song is the Fizzy Bangers - Short Attention Span.
ReplyDelete"Why can't people understand, I got a short attention span, short attention span!"
That's it :)
Wow. This is the shortest time I've spent reading your posts. LOL!
ReplyDeleteSo true.
ReplyDelete(P.S. Reasearch shows the above is the average length of comments people want to leave.)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I'm with WW.
ReplyDeleteMenchie, isn't it strange?!
fronty,
ReplyDeleteHA! I hope that Sue Richards doesn't find out! She had a good thing goin'on with Mr Invisible..
apparently Mr Fantastic is a bit of a misnomer?
keshi,
That's why I don't bother putting a video clip on my sidebar.
stace,
So did they squeeze 400 on songs on the CD?
menchie,
You're welcome. Wasn't this a nice treat?
citizen del mondo,
Hopefully my IT crew will be able to trim these down so that the customers will have a positive experience. Maybe I need Greeters?
stace,
OK OK I'll get rid of the Moose!
"You're awfully welcome"
ReplyDeleteGlad we got that straightened out old boy, what what!
Good to see you and charlie are still bezzie mates despite the shark incident.
Oh my!
ReplyDeleteLord Tennisanyone has moose knuckle!
you feeling loved again HE?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletei can understand this post.
ReplyDeletetherefore i feel good about myself, today, here.
I love Keshi's comment!
ReplyDelete101 songs
ReplyDeleteGreat post;easily assimilated.Took half an hour to wade through the comments!
ReplyDeletenuh uh... NO WAY!
ReplyDeleteNO!
NO!!
NO!!!
NO!!!!
NO!!!!!
NO!!!!!!
NO!!!!!!!
i refuse to believe it!!!!!!!!