Sunday, January 27, 2008

THE INSULTIN' OF TOMEI!
Last week I stayed up late and watched a bunch of movies. Why?
I am getting ready for my annual OSCAR wager with the Sultan Of Brunei...
why you little..

Now I am not one to boast but I haven't had to phone my Banker in the Caymans to request a transfer in over 5 years..and I don't intend on losing one thin dime this year either...
not like the bundle Marisa Tomei cost me back in '92...
hence the title.

The fact that not one of the 50 highest grossing movies was nominated makes it a little tricky trying to predict a winner. Just between you, me and barn door, I use FBI profilers.

That's right. Even though the movie studios now cater almost exclusively to teen males, the majority of the eligible Academy voters are all 3 days older than kerosene. Plus there is almost as much money spent on the Nomination Campaign as there is on the actual production. So there is a lot more to it than meets the eye.
Hollywood only made $9.6 Billion at the Box Office in 2007, and Home DVD sales slipped to $23.7 Billion. ((sob)) Whatever. I still happen to believe that Movies are the best form of Entertainment ..fully clothed entertainment.
Did you know that Video Game sales in 2007 reached $17.94 BILLION...HELLO! No wonder the Media Conglomerates LOVE those Teen Males.

Anyway here is what I watched last week...



Oh did I mention that Monica Bellucci was in Shoot 'Em Up?
SCHWING!

Do you care about the Oscars?

27 comments:

  1. How telling is it that none of the movies i have seen in the past year are Oscar nominees?

    Nada. Zip.

    And...now that you mention it, don't really care about the Oscars. Not since American Beauty won Best Picture.

    (I'll just stick to 300, thank you very much. :D)

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  2. I'm going to watch the preview of Juno on Thursday.
    I'll tell you I don't care about the Oscars - but I'll be on the Internet early the following day to get the news.
    But I really don't care about the frocks!

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  3. Anonymous7:01 a.m.

    gel
    Omg dear Homey,
    How do you find the time to watch that many movies in a wk and work? Or were you being "tongue in cheek?"

    Rarely do I see a movie in the theatre when it is new or fairly new, but Sapphire and I were buying shirts for her dad, taking a break and actually eating instead of wading through the slippery shirt pkgs (not my idea of fun shopping), when she spied the movie theatre across the aisle from our restaurant.

    I'm glad she asked if we could see "Juno" after scrafing down the fast food. (We should have eaten popcorn for dinner instead.) That is a top notch movie: one of those I wanted to see all over again, immediately after it ended. I'm not a person who even likes to see a movie "twice" even years apart.

    As for the Oscars, I don't watch them. I like what I like and .... I sound like "Sam I am" except I'm female...

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  4. No, but I care about Marisa.

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  5. menchie,
    Good 'ole 300 eh? All those glistening six packs and intensive characters arcs..aah..you'll wince, you'll squirm, it will become a part of you.

    KAZ,
    There are a gazillion STARS now and their lustre has been rubbed off by the tabloids. Celebrities were once set apart and placed on a mantle but now they are objects of derision and schadenfreude.

    I can't keep up with who is who anymore..maybe we need the old studio system to run their lives and carefully release selective articles, arrange their marriages, and provide sporadic photo ops to make their 'real' lives more presentable?

    gel,
    Instead of sleeping I stay up and watch Movies..since I am the Ambassador to the US all that I have to do is rubber stamp their proposals anyway...I could do it with my eyes closed.

    Juno is an amazing coming of age movie that doesn't dumb it down.
    I loved it too.

    geoff,
    Gadzooks! You need to write her and let her know how you feel.

    For an Actress to win an Oscar it is usually a kiss of death..when their salary demands rise to meet the 'marketplace' (where men make 10x as much) they are replaced by 20 year old music video models.

    Unfortunately there aren't many strong female roles anyway so they market themselves out of a job...unless you are a Jodie or a Drew and produce your own flicks.

    A good example was Roger Moore who said that he quit 007 because he thought it was ludicrous that his Bond was bedding unknown 'girls' the same age as his daughters. Pfft! Not as creepy as the 60 year olds Goldie and Warren rolling on the couch..eeeww!

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  6. Hi HE Love,

    I watch them strictly to have something to do. I use to really be interested in them, but life is crazy so I have no time.

    Course I liked The Brave one and The Golden Compass. But what do I know?

    soft love,
    T

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  7. I watched Looney Tunes.

    Obviously I have some catching up to do.

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  8. Nope. I have my copy of The Transformers and thats all I need. That and this bottle of tequila. And Mr. Snuffy. I made him out of a washrag.

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  9. i loved it until i realized that im not 15 anymore. I've grown out of the jokes, everything is predictable and the really good movies never win. BUt I still do watch it for the skits, and hope that Robin Williams does something really funny to offset the 'lame Jim Carrey during award shows.'

    Ive watched I am legend, and I loved the dog, gonna get one for myself. I hated the premise that screams sequel, just like the rest of the years release. Did you know Indian movies very very very rarely has sequels?

    Monica Belluci...every mans dream, and every womans wish :D

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  10. I'm more of a BAFTA person myself :p

    I am quite interested this time though, 'cause there's some actual good films/persons up for prizes. I really want to see No Country For Old Men, would you recommend?

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  11. Oscars?
    What are they some sort of anime animal that only comes out once a year like a groundhog?

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  12. *hangs head in shame*

    I love the Oscars. It's tacky, it's tasteless, it usually gives awards to the wrong people but I wouldn't miss it for the world. It's on in the middle of the night over here but I stay up with a hot drink and a never ending supply of toast and watch the whole thing.

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  13. I watched Prison Break but listened to a lot of radio. Where's the crown of laurel? It suits you. Very Nero-like.

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  14. Nope! Not even a little bit.

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  15. Monica WHO? Damn, I gotta get my head outta the sand! She doesn't do it quite as well for me as Salma, but she'd do. I know, I'm such a pig......

    I haven't seen most of those yet because I am waiting for them to come out on Netflix. I NEVER go and pay twice as much to sit in a crowded mini-plex with a bunch of un-supervised teens when I can wait a few weeks and watch it at MY conveinance, while shooting any teens who sneak into MY house. I enforce MY ratings, thank you.

    No, I don't care about the Oscars.

    I don't care about Britney.

    I don't care about Tom Cruise.

    I care about real people like you, me, and the people who read us.

    Bob I wish I could quite you!

    Sorry, Heath...........grin........

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  16. I dun care abt the Oscars..but I care abt the hunks.

    Keshi.

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  17. nope, slightly interested, but caring is too strong an emotion, I care about my cat more.

    The Legend is scary.

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  18. Nah, the oscars do not bother me either way really. I only read about them 2 years later in some magazine laying around the desk at work on night duty LOL

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  19. The one and only time I cared about the Oscars was when a workmate ran her own Oscar pool and basically blackmailed into participating, threatening otherwise not to get into my hockey pool.

    Those three movies you brought over a month ago are still sitting there on the table.

    It's all glitter, glam, the red carpet, money and politics. Sometimes the movies are good.

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  20. Oh God, I used to watch masses of new films and spend loads of time in the cinema in the 1980's, but am really out of touch with anything that's been released in the last twenty years! If I had to watch any of those films it would probably be Superbad. That Michael Cera seems like he could be quite good. Very rare that anything really good wins an Oscar though, isn't it?

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  21. tara,
    I really enjoyed both of those movies. Jodie seems to have a penchant for saying the C word?

    mj,
    Tiny Toons Summer Vacation is one of my all time favorites
    "Watch Out Hor-ra-shee-oh!"

    first nations,
    I watched Transformers AGAIN and I love that smartass kid. The animation is perfect but I would be too scared to watch it and drink Tequila.

    ghostay,
    I freaked out when I saw the DOG because I knew that she wouldn't make it to the credits. It is like being Dirty Harry's partner!

    Bellucci is the only thing that Intelligent Design advocates should be focussing on.

    fathorse,
    NCFOM is awesome. The folksy dialogue is amazing and the villain is one of the best performances ever. He is so freaky!

    whitesnake,
    Oscars are big fish that kids buy so that they can watch them eat Goldfish...eeeww!

    dash,
    No shame in that. I always watch them and not just to see how much money I am going to win but because these are the most important humans on the planet. If I were a crazy terrorist and really wanted to..know I can't even think it.

    I think that it is the cultural epicenter of our civilization, sad as that may be, it is.

    spentrails,
    I'm glad that you liked it. I did too. Partially because in many ways I still think that I am 14 and believe that the world is filled with opportunities...it's only when I stare at the birthfdate on my Driver's License that I realise how little time I have left to rule the world.

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  22. cs,
    Really? Well I know that a lot of other people, 1/3 of the entire population of Earth watch it and these entertainers, some of whom can actually act, are universally recognised brands. The culture of Celebrity may be one of the best vehicles for spreading poiltical and social change around the world..which is really bizarre but think about it...a lot of people don't realise what they are missing until they learn about something in a movie.

    preposterous ponderosa,
    Yes you can but may I remind you that you are still under oath. The state reserves the right to prosecute you under a number of other offences that that you violated under section 901(a) of the Organized Crime Control Act of 1970 aka the RICCO Act.

    THE michael,
    Well well well. I am the biggest SHHer in the world. Do NOT talk within 5 rows of me in a theatre. If your phone rings and you are not running out to deliver a baby then I will strangle you...

    fortunately I don't go to the theatres that often and my anger management therapist is recovering quite nicely in the hospital.

    keshiroo,
    The HUNKS are ALL at the Oscars and dressed up..some of them even shave!!!!!

    ziggi,
    I care about your cat too but I have not seen it..whereas I have seen scary movies like Legend and wept for the Dog..damnit why do they always have to *SCENE SPOILER kill the Dog?

    cazzie,
    This is the direct result of being self actualised and having young children..by the time you get them off to bed you can only make it through 20 minutes of Movie.
    Been there.

    winky wankerpants,
    Then bring them back you lazy so and so! You should bring all of your movies here because I would watch them over and over.

    Btw it just so happens that I am in a little Oscar Pool with the Sultan of Brunei (why you little) and we could always use a few more suckers.

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  23. betty,
    Superbad is really immature but if you like that style then go for it..Juno is a lot more witty and cerbral despite the hipster attitude and Ellen is amazing..Michael Cera just makes me laugh standing still so..have you ever seen the TV series Arrested Development?

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  24. Okay, if it means I get Monica then I'll trade you winters.

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  25. i never pay much attention to the oscars... the americans seem to have such different taste in mivies to mine.
    i saw "i am legend" and was quite blown away by it- it was awesome!

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  26. Juno was fantastic. You'll be seeing a lot more of Ellen Page. If you get a chance, watch her in Hard Candy. Legend was good but not great. Jesse James dragged on, I wasn't impressed. My kids loved the golden compass.. ok I loved it too.

    I rarely watch the Oscars. That said, I always check out the best and worst dressed the next day.

    What did you think of Charlie Wilson's War?

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