Wednesday, December 19, 2007

NARCOLAPSING


And there were in the countryside,
free, dumb, fighters, disguised as shepherds, abiding in the minefield, keeping watch over their poppies in broad daylight.



And, lo an angel came upon them, and they were sore afraid, because she was nekked and none of them had ever seen a nekked girl, aside from sneaking a peek at each other’s sisters on bathday.



And the angel said unto them,
“Fear not you little bastards!”
“For behold, I bring you good tidings and some Almond Joy…
none of you have any nut allergies do you?”


“Where was I?..oh yeah!..”
“I bring good tidings which shall be to all…
er most..ok some of the people living in this Narco-Economy.”

“For unto you one day next November, in the city of Washington, DC, a new President will be elected.
And this shall be a sign unto you that the Democrats will want to recall the Armed Forces, and you can go back to terrorising your own people, without any outside interference from anyone associated with the 21st Century.
Ye shall find the old President wrapped in controversy, and swapping stories at the Skull and Bones Club, still lying about the danger.”

And the ‘shepherds’ rejoiced and each fired atleast two hundred rounds into the air, and one of
them was struck and killed by the returning bullets..
D’OH!







“Aziz, here is a big piece!"
let us see who can get the highest on earth?”
“Wow that’s good
“AZIZ! Will you stop aiming your AK 47 towards men?"



The shepherds went quickly to double check the angel's story at an Internet Café, and lo and behold it was true, just as the angel foretold, and they subsequently publicised what they had witnessed throughout the Web on YouTube, and everybody said:
“That is Boollsh*t Aziz, you were getting high again weren’t you?”
“You must stop sampling the product!”

Here endeth today’s lesson.

24 comments:

  1. Sometimes I fear that you have far too much time on your hands, and that you do far too much thinking. The rest of the time, I'm awfully glad you do!

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  2. Would it be practical to pay opium farmers NOT to grow poppies, sort of a farm subsidy program for Afghans?

    It would be a boon for Methadone sales.

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  3. ... imagine, if you would, a sterile surgical lab filled with numerous double board certified surgeons and the most elite scientist known to present time. the gallery above is also filled with learned spectators, all doing their best to find the answer, all falling short of the quest. some suspecting superior intelligence, some suspecting mental derangement, others suspecting extra terrestrial involvement, but all knowing that this one is different from the rest.

    ...now picture HE laying in this sterile environment, his skull cap removed as they probe his brain in a hope to garner the correct answer.

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  4. You know how I love a poppy field.

    *frolics until, like Dorothy in Oz, I fall down asleep midst the poppies*

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  5. John Malkovich said (as Kit Moresbury in the Sheltering Sky) that "other people's dreams are so dull". Not yours, Homey!

    Oops, wrong post. Where are we, oh yes. How on earth did we get to a position where we have half of the world providing fodder for the other half's greed?

    Disturbingly, I thought you were going to do another thing on song lyrics misheard, e.g. "As shepherds washed their socks by night...", etc etc ad nauseum.

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  6. *Kicks MJ in the crotch*

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  7. I have had the same visions.

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  8. Don, buddy, now that I have stopped laughing, I have to ask you, is everything OK? Have you had a "life-changing event?" Did the wife leave you saying, " Don, I love you, but you blog..."? Did the AARP just send you your first fake card trying to make you think you forgot you already sent in a membership request? Look, this is your good buddy THE Michael, you can talk to me......I promise not to bog about it....no....really......Don.......Don?

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  9. Aside from giving you the freebie opportunity to post a picture of a beautiful naked woman, even if half-hidden...

    The point of this post was??? That after Bush is gone, Afghanistan can go back to producing, as it always has, something the world has always sought from it?

    Huh? Huh?

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  10. :)

    HE u think alot and u certainly r VERY knowledgable!

    Now hv a good one ok! HUGGGGGGGGZ!

    Keshi.

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  11. Kind of ironic though, that the narco nation brand doesn't seem to apply to the world's number one consumer of narcotics. If only those evil empires would stop force feeding us the stuff, all would be well. The US would hold drug and alcohol free parties across the nation, as our people have longed to do for many decades now.

    Meanwhile, we continue doing the only intelligent thing possible under the circumstances: continue with the War on Drugs until the appetite of evil farmers for satisfying our cravings and earning more cash that way than they could doing anything else, at long last expires.

    The secret to success, in the long run, is to continue doing what "apparently" shows no sign of working.

    And lo, let this be a sign unto ye that, verily, Intelligent Design rules this world even where we may least suspect it.

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa...

    you caught me off guard here dude- what happened to weekends only eh?

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  14. poppies - lovely, and so festive!

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  15. I think I will stop visiting your blog. Despite repeated warnings, your blog contains nekkid women!

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  16. stace,
    I am actually very busy and when I do sit down I am innundated with a barrage of issues that have been percolating between my ears...sometimes I take the filter off and and let it come out nice and thick and sometimes I water it down.

    allan,
    You're right. They would find something to substitute their addiction. I wonder if the Government has ever sat down and figured out how much it would cost to level the economic playing field and attempt to improve the lives of the citizens as opposed to maintaining this ludricrous stance and wasting BILLIONS of $s on the War On Drugs?

    gloria,
    As long as I get a bucket of Slam (Midazolam) after I would be willing to tolerate any number of probes. I can tell you now that they won't find much if they opened up my noggin because all of the voices would hide in my spleen...althoug it would be nice to get rid of those bats in my belfry.

    mj,
    The poppies match your sparkly red shoes! There's no place like home!

    spentrails,
    That sounds like a dare!?..and thank you for adding the ad nauseum. Nothing on this Earth is a s grating and tedious as those miserable Carols. The soul of those nauseating songs has been eviscerated and sucked dry by the Corporations decades ago.
    Vapid, vapid, vapid. They all deserve a makeover...and I feel one comin' on...HAHAHA

    rimmer,
    If there is a little friction between you too take it outside. This is a refuge for the weary and down trodden. There is no room for public displays of unresolved anger management issues...besides MJ is sooo darling.
    Now kiss and make up.

    steve,
    I knew that I could count on you. You always have my back mate! You are the wind beneath my wings.

    THE michael,
    Yes I turned 50 and now I can see the sands of Time pouring down the hourglass. I am well past the halfway point and time is of the essence. I have a great deal of material to sift through and a devil may care attitude. I am throwing caution to the wind and throwing all of this mental ballast overboard....you need to be streamlined and bouyant to get through Middle Age.

    withintuition,
    Le plus ca change...this whole invasion will have been for what? The thin veneer of pretending to worry about the lives of civilians as opposed to securing Oil reserves will be pealed back and laid bare.
    That being said, the key to winning this WAR is to liberate the millions of females who are trapped by this misogynistic dogma and tradition...if allowing them to catch a glimpse of what the 21st Century looks like then MAYBE they have a chance. The rest of the world should be trying to emancipate those cultural prisoners...that's how REAL change is going to come about.

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  17. keshi,
    I am grateful that my idiosyncratic methods are somewhat tolerated out here and let's face it..IF we can't talk about everything out here then what is the point?
    Discusing WHY we're here and all that that entails is the meaning of Life..everything else is just conversation.

    PAUL!
    I am strongly in favour of treating this War on Drugs as a medical issue. Why are humans so prone to find ways to alter reality and pharmacologically vacate reality. Because their life sucks and they need help.

    Because the cult of consumerism leaves them coveting all of the crap that they see everybody else ostentatiously parading about and waving in front of their noses. Because their family and support systems are either dysfunctional or non existant.

    Because the Haves keep getting the lion's share of the resources and this system has been in place for Millenia.

    If the Government took over the Recreational Drug business it would change overnight...but ultimately we need to tweak our genetics and psychological demnds for finding avenues of retreat.

    angel,
    'Tis the season for giving and who am I to squander such an opportunity. I need to purge and mentally floss whenever I get the chance..just like everybody else.

    ziggi,
    Thank you for noticing, I was worried that this post was too flowery. Perhaps a post on Poinsettas and the Mexican Drug Cartels will follow. Since this is the season to completely abandon reality I think that it was quite appropeau.

    gautami, gautaumi, gautaumi...
    The human body is something to be celebrated..especially that one..which by the way I painstakingly took the time to disguise...sort of.

    I am weary of perpetuating the Victorian/Puritan attitudes towards human sexual behavior. It is one of the strongest elements of our Nature and I think that we need to dissolve the faux prudery and face it head on.

    I sincerely hope that you will not abandon me because of a little cleavage. I should be entitled to display *almost anything that I would like to, shouldn't I? Besides it was an essential element to exagerate the completely primitive, retarded, view of sexuality that exists in so many parts of the world...both the West and the East have made a mess of it.

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  18. I'm not kissing Rimmer.

    We don't know where his mouth has been.

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  19. mj,
    How come nobody ever says,
    "Put your mouth where your money is?"

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  20. Have you been at some festive drugs (mine's a sherry)? Never mind the poppies, it's a bugger of a job trying to get the tinsel to hang properly on a cannabis plant.

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  21. llewtrah,
    pfffft
    ((cough cough))
    What makes you think that?

    Actually, what is left of my brain cannot withstand anything stronger than Rum and Eggnog. I did come of age in the 70s and it took a tremendous 'toll' on my synaptic highway..ha ha.

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  22. I'll sample anything..........
    If it is free.

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  23. I'll sample anything..........
    If it is free.

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  24. Whitesnake!!! LOL

    Psssssst....HE....you have asylum and protection ....here at the farm if you ever get a warrant? put on your head....

    LOL HE, LOL and dats all I've got to say right now......

    P-a-m

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