Monday, December 10, 2007


Have you ever noticed that the root word in LIFE is IF?

Or that for the vast majority of us, DEATH usually has a lot to do with what we EAT...

and most people equate having the big “O” with the word LOVE?

Not that this has anything to do with what I just said but AW is the root word of YAWN.

I recently discovered that when the mouth is gaping and deep drafting cool air, also know as pandiculation, it increases cerebral blood flow to draw heat from the brain. I call it Error Conditioning.

Now AW is a common interjection or part of speech that is capable of standing alone. AW usually expresses emotion and it deserves some attention.

Oh sure a YAWN can simply be an unconscious display of Tiredness or Psychological Decompression, but have you ever considered how Awfully Awften we are full of AW when we YAWN?

A YAWN can express..
Apathy or Boredom (WhAWt-ev-er)
ok bad example HA HA HA..I should have stuck with the IF in LIFE..
OK how about Anger or Dismay (AW F*CK!)
Apprehension or Remorse (AW sh*t!),
Tenderness or Pleasure (AW-W-W-W)
Disbelief or Wonder (AWesome Dude)

Name one person, place, or thing, that most people are wild about, but you think is AWFUL or makes you YAWN..


  1. Star Wars.

    *waits for the hate mail*

  2. "Named must your fear be before banish it you can.
    Powerful you have become, the dark side I sense in you.
    Grave danger you are in."

  3. Just one? Oh dear. Big Brother. Actually television in general. Also Britney Spears. Um... Retail therapy. Orange lollies. The 80's. Dan Brown. I'll stop now, this could go on forever!

  4. 80's fashion. Soap operas. Slapstick humor.

    And totally agree with Stace on Dan Brown. The book was a complete copy of the first one. The movie sucked even more.


  5. Monty Python.

    *waits for blitzkrieg*

  6. Don, describe your surroundings, please. Are the walls padded? Is the predominate color white, or perhaps pepto-bismal pink? Are you writing this with crayons?

    Another words, where are you coming up with this stuff?

    hehe......keep up the good work!

  7. stace,
    I suspect that you could add a few paragraphs..poor Dan Brown..
    the 80s?

    Everyone that I know who actually reads Novels (I don't) stated that Angels and Demons is the better that what you are referring to?

    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Their chief element is FEAR and SURPRISE..
    get ready for the SOFT CUSHIONS!!!!

    THE michael,
    How did you know? I love the staff here. This mask is hot and it's hard to manipulate the keyboard with the pen clip in my mouth (I stole it from the head shrink 'heh heh heh'...
    and being strapped to this dolly is murder on my back and knees.
    Atleast they serve a decent Chianti with my Fava Beans
    ((slurp slurp slurp))

  8. Geoff: When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!

  9. Vienna. Hugely over-rated compared to most of its competition and I'm not referring to the 80s hit by Midge Ure and his nattily named Ultravox but of course the Central European city.

  10. I’m breaking the rules here, but since you’ve opened up Pandora’s Box, I can’t help but list more than one:

    1. Pot (reefer, weed, ganja, thai-stick, sticky-icky, skunk, mary-jane, marijuana, cannabis, or whatever the kids are calling it these days). I just don't get it. I think lots of things are funny, I’m often hungry and I can always use a nap.
    2. 24 (Twenty Four) the TV series. (zzzzz)
    3. Lost, the TV series. C’mon people, its Gilligan’s Island for a new generation.
    4. Sex (copulation, bumping uglies, the horizontal bop, intercourse, fucking). Honestly, it’s much more trouble than it’s worth. After one has done it a few times, one gets the general idea and, if its all the same, I’d just as soon have a nap. It’s more satisfying and requires less clean-up, less effort and a far lesser chance of death.
    5. The French. Oh, wait! Nobody likes them.

  11. RIMMER: If MJ bores you I suggest you visit another blog.

    Oh wait. You just did.

  12. Oh, and

    6. "Snap Shots" My Gawd thats annoying.

  13. YOU!

    *running away and hiding under the bed*

    reading room

  14. Homey this just made me crack up. Awfully Awften? *groan*

    I cannot *stand* TV reality shows. Everyone and their Big Brother watches that crap and has to come into the office and talk about who's dancing with who from the night before. Who gives a F*CK?

    Also, these "EPIC ADVENTURE" movies. LoTR, 300, Beowulf, Alexander, Pirates of the Caribbean, Braveheart - UGH!! Especially the Animated-Kinda(?) ones. You sit through a freaking FOUR HOUR movie...for what?? What a waste of time, unless someone else pays and I can sleep through it, like all the LoTR movies. I hate Peter Jackson.

    Geoff - I'm sending you Lupins, with a single thin mint.

  15. Let me amend that. Peter Jackson made one good movie: Dead Alive.

    And, one more really SUCKING one: King Kong. I mean, WTF? *ugh*

  16. By "The 80's" I really mean the current fad of looking like one stepped out of 1985. 80's fashion is best forgotten, as is quite a lot of 80's music. But not 80's babies, I was born in '83 myself!

  17. I agree with Stace. Skinny jeans weren't all that great in the first place, and now they are back with a vengeance. Yuck.

  18. mj,
    You already have the two most feared bounty hunters,Boba Fett and Bobo Fett, on your tail so you should be trying to get a headstart on them?

    And don't forget Billy Frickin Joel's Vienna pfft! I haven't heard Midge Ure mentioned in years..or Ultravox for that matter.

    I've never been to Austria
    "put another shrimp on the barbie" (Dumb & Dumber classic) but I hear that nobody there has ever watched the Sound of Music..verry interesting.

    My Word!
    1) POT: What a square!
    2) 24: The Keif is in the hokey now so no worries
    3) Lost: LOST me first show with the Polar Bear HELLO!!
    4) SEX: You're obviously not doing it right HELLO!
    5) French: Le réalité et toi, vous ne vous entendez pas, n'est-ce pas?
    6) SNAPSHOTS: It is pretty annoying but easy to see if anybody has updated.

    mj & rimmer talk amongst yourselves..*whistles

    Why you little!!!
    I know that you don't mean're hooked, admit it!
    I can see you under the bed..come out, come out!

    SO glad that you are back!!
    Dancing with the D-list Stars is a televisual assault on my good graces. UGH! Marie Osmond, she's a little bit feinting, and Donny's a little bit commenting? Since when are Mormons allowed to dance?

    BUT I love EPIC films..
    I am a sucker for period pieces..the costumes, hairdos and sets..if you are gonna take my $8 you had better give me three hours of battles and romance and intrigue and bad accents.
    LOTR zzzzzz
    King Kong more dinosaurs
    You're hilarious grrrrl!

    I get it but fashions always come back to haunt us because designers haven't come up with anything new for men since 1857! I wish that I still had my 4" platform blue suede boots..oh that was the 70s.

    stace and tidal grrl..
    skinny jeans were waaaaay too hard to remove without a jar of vaseline and the Jaws of Life!!

  19. Anonymous3:13 p.m.


    And U2 (although I like some of their stuff)

    But mostly Coldplay.

    Asparagus, george dubya, Primark.

    But predominantly Coldplay.

    Taxi Driver and exercise.

    But pretty much exclusively Coldplay.

    God I hate them

  20. cheval gras,
    Coldplay? You are like the only person on Earth..I'll bet that even Proctologists and Suicide Bombers like Coldplay.

    Amen to Taxif*ckingdrivers UGH!!!
    But I do appreciate a good exorcism every now and then...out with the old and in with the new.

  21. Toilet paper .......
    You work it out!

  22. AWWW What a cute picture!

    New Year's Eve festivities.

  23. So much, so little time!

    But I'll go on record with the same, tired, limp, old BLOG MEMES.

  24. very cute baby pic!

    **Tenderness or Pleasure (AW-W-W-W)

    Now I didnt know that :):):)


  25. I wanna play, I wanna play!

    The computer game Zelda (sucks my will to live!), cakes (I'm a savoury lass), tweed jackets, size 0 models...I want to beg them to EAT something, deadlines for essays, photographs of babies in big pots/dressed as cabbages, reggae music, white carpets (I, red wine and white carpets just don't mix), Ali G (AKA Sacha Baron Cohen.....AAAARRRRGGGHHH), film sequals that have different actors playing the main parts...continuity people!

    And oh so many more, but it is my VERY FIRST comment here and I'm trying to be a good girl!

    Excellent post sweetie and the baby......well, damn, it was cute!

  26. for me, it has to be CROCS!!!ranks right up there with the 80's shoulder pads, bubble skirts and big hair!

  27. Angel: Crocs? Visit my blog today, then.

    It's as if I custom made the posting for you.

  28. Anonymous7:51 a.m.

    Coldplay makes me sick.

    I don't understand how fools can hate starwars and monty python more than they hate coldplay (except, let's face it, you have to be pretty INCORRECT to hate starwars or monty python anyway.)


  29. HAHAH!! I just snorted some of my english muffin when I read "vaseline and the jaws of life!"

    My sister wore those effing Jordache jeans - and it would take her forever to get into them, hopping around, lying down on the bed, etc....but obviously a shorter period of time to get out of them because she was pregnant at 16, sometime in 1983. I blame Brooke Shields for making them popular.

  30. Ewww skinny jeans. And those "smock" tops that make girls look knocked up.

  31. One thing? Can't do it.

    Reality shows
    Talk shows (Especially Dr. Phil)
    ER shows and their ilk
    Sports talking heads
    Entertainment Tonight

    Actually, I guess I should just say TV and the mass media, huh?

  32. whitesnake,
    Remember this Police song?
    "Too much information
    running though my head"

    miss cellania,
    All TV? No PBS, Nova, Frontline, POV, BBC News, nada???

    No duh! I haven't done anything special on New Year's Eve for years and don't miss it one bit.
    Everyone enters some huge vat of if you are going to be any different on January 1st???

    Cute baby...have you ever seen a posting on really ugly babies? I wonder if anybody has ever tried doing know the bizarre looking kids who look like those bald cats or those Shar Peis (those wrinkly dogs)...eww

    That's the spirit!
    I can hear the music from Zelda bouncing around deep in the chasm of my mind because #1 son played it for years dee de dee deedle dee

    ...I loved Borat..sorry..

    and speaking of Jack Ryan, c'mon people Stick with a Lead wouldja! YEAH!! Damn Straight. RRRRRRRRRR

    Oooh yeah you had better go see MJ rant about crocs..sheesh..she is madder than a march hare..wait that is the wrong kind of mad..just have a lash.

    I told her.

    I think that you're making this up to sound contrarian...nobody hates coldplay...nobody.

    Nothing comes between me and my's like a public admission of frotteurism...wait that is non consensual rubbing..

    ((audible gasp))
    C'est blaspheme dans la belle province!!! I don't know why the Yanks are sick of it because she says bebe instead of baybee? Or is that song from Ti..TITAN...TITANIQUE!
    "Near, far, whereEEEVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRRRR you arrrrrrrrrreeee bebe."

    Ba da boom ba da bing!! Ladies and Germs she's here all week.
    Ziggi my dear, I doubt that you have EVER been tired because you are a witch, and witches can make potions, or cast spells, so you could stay up for 1 million years if you wanted to.

    Smock tops were awesome for feeling up dates or simply frotteuring about in a hotel lobby or on a bus....mmm..smock tops...good times.

    without a TV guide,
    MY WORD!!!

    You need to look at the TV guide on Sat morning and make a note of the programs that look interesting.
    Why would you EVER watch Doctor Feel? Why?
    don't think about it,
    just give me one good reason,
    I'll tell you why, because you have waited until the last minute and without a plan you are aimlessly surfing..hey where'd you go..HELLO..I wasn't finished talking to you!!

  33. Being the TV addict you are and a slave to the mass media to satisfy your intense craving for the most inert and nonsensical trivia, no wonder I'm Gone with the Wind. (JUST KIDDING, YOU NIMROD!)

    What you do with that vast, infinite space in your brain where you accumulate all this stuff is amazing.

    But I can't sit around for an hour deciding what I'm going to sit around aimlessly watching that night.

    I wish I could.

    I AM, as you rightly point out, an aimless surfer. Click.

  34. I know this is going to sound bizzare my HE love, but I rather dislike little white lies. Many people think that if you tell a little white lie, it saves jurt feelings.... but isn't a lie, a lie?

    ask me how you look and I will tell you like crap if you do... not awww you fine....wouldn't you want to know the truth?

    kiss kiss


  35. aaaaww they r still cute LOL!


  36. Surfer Dude,
    That's OK. If you watched all of the crap that I did then I would have to stop talking and actually listen to you. Where's the fun in that?

    oh tara,
    I hear some Fleetwood Mac..
    Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies..
    Now that my short term memory is kaput I cannot afford to fib because I have no idea what I said this morning never mind last week.

    That being said, what are Men to do when we hear the 8 most terrifying words in the English language?
    "Does this outfit make my ass look big?"

    Even those scrunched up squishy faced purple newborns that look like they were yoinked out of Warthog with a block and tackle?

  37. Well, in addition to those stupid pop-up things that are unavoidable on your blog...

    ...Do I need to buy a 75-inch HDTV to be able to capture the entire image of you trying to be Roy Rogers?

  38. What the hell are you talking about?

  39. I called up your blog not five minutes ago and there was a gigantic picture of you posing with a horse in a white cowboy hat with a blue shirt on.

    It did not fit on my screen, pardner.

    Git along lil doggie.

  40. Dude, whatever you're taking, cut the dosage in half, and call me in the morning.

    Your all encompassing remark is breathtakingly beautiful in it's simplicity...but you're kidding right? You LOVE music.

  41. Hey, I performed a self-administered sobriety/sanity test, and I passed with flying colours.

    Maybe it was another cyber-Doppelganger of you, appearing from some other dimension.

    I am NOT making this up.

  42. Death / eat - I like it :) Hadn't thought about that before.

    As for yAWn, what about being wide-mouthed in AWE? To an onlooker it looks like a yawn.

  43. To the risk of making you yawn...
    Coronation Street and soaps...
    Big Brother...
    The Apprentice and Sir Alan Sugar...
    Christmas Cards...
    Gordon Ramsay...
    The current "In" Thing!

    Monty Python! Are you mad???

  44. llewtrah,
    You're absolutely usual.
    Speaking of what you eat there is a new book out called eat this no this.
    This guy purports that you are better off to have 2 Egg McMuffins than a bagel with cream cheese and that the average meal in a sit down fancy schmancy restaurant is 850 calories whereas a McMeal is only 500!
    Could this be the first signs of the Apocalypse?

    Let it out Son, let it all out!

    I cannot decipher the appeal of those reality shows..I know that they are cheaper to produce and that is why the Networks love 'em...but they seem so staged & scripted to me...where is the reality part?

    Gordon Fn'Ramsay is the poster boy for bad manners...where is Graham Kerr when we need him most?

  45. the whole 2000ish hip hop pop music scene, american popular media, hollywood summer movies...etc...etc..etc

    awwww thats a cute baby...wher did u find him

    awww fuck i discovered this post late...awww again! awww damn im too lazy to open google reader....awww....awwwwww...

  46. Anonymous7:02 a.m.


    A Rush of Crap to my Ears.


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