Saturday, February 24, 2007

POOF!

In the single second that it took you to read the title,
somewhere on Earth,

2 people ‘lost’ their lives.

I read somewhere that over 100 people die every minute,
= 6,000 per hour,
= 150,000 per day,
= 56 million per year… and Voila!

By throwing out an incomprehensible number like that it is now a meaningless statistic isn’t it?

Next time that you are at a big sporting event or concert and they announce the attendance, you can mentally divide the crowd to visualize what 6,000 people dying every hour looks like.

Have you ever stood in line at a Bank or tried to renew your Drivers License or Passport?

How many people do they normally process in one hour? It ain’t 6,000!

So let’s face it there is no way St. Peter could possibly handle processing 2 people a second through the Pearly Gates ...

and that my friends is why there are other religions.

30 comments:

  1. Well maybe St. Peter only does final approval but little helper angels do the processing.

    I just found out that there are 266 babies born every minute which makes it 15,960 babies every hour. Way more than people dying every minute.

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  2. "I am not religious --- I am just scared."

    The sorry thing is the population is exploding in countries with very little resources, so what does that mean?

    The world is producing tomato pickers, chicken feather pluckers, ditch diggers, domestic helpers and lawnboys much faster than physicians, physicists and exotic male dancers!

    I don't know what will happen to this world when we don't have enough supply of exotic male dancers. We have to call on fathers to work part time.

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  3. menchie,
    You are so wonderfully interactive!
    So every minute there are
    266 BORN and
    1oo DIE

    every hour
    16,000 BORN
    6,000 DIE

    I hereby play god and approve all mass sterilization programs to be applied to all humans, these measures shall go into effect immediately...

    unfortunately there is no antidote for the dying problem so whatever.

    ces,
    HA spot on!
    Exactly my point..it is tragic and heartbreaking, the world doesn't 'need' more exotic male dancers..
    it 'wants' more exotic male dancers!
    Oooh we'll al-ways need chicken pluckers..
    anyway my plan to sterilize stays.

    I will give the antidote to people that I like or approve of...
    Brad and Angelina..
    they can reproduce...

    this crazy overpopulation thingamabob is over..
    it just took somebody like me who doesn't care about political correctness ((ptooey!)) to make some tough decisions!
    Sheesh that was easy.

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  4. Maybe it's all computerized, kind of like at airports....wait, that would actually slow down the process.

    Nevermind.

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  5. laurie,
    Then the situation is much worse than I thought.
    What this world needs is more
    SALT PETER
    and less SAINT PETER!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The only reason why dis crazy overpopulation thingamadon is over is because you have essentially stopped having kids yourself!

    We are not really people, we are taxpayers. We pay a larger percentage of tax than most communist countries. Communism fell in USSR basically because they were broke. It is possible that the reason communism fell was that they didn't have a strong immigration policy. (a.k.a. a taxpayer proliferation policy.)
    We will indeed be in crisis soon over the negative population growth. We are even having a tough time bringing in enough taxpayers to keep up. Local governments need more and more people to keep up the tax base. People just can't afford to have 10 kids with all the taxes we pay, and the goverments have no clue how to operate with less.

    NOW for the solutions: Unleash the DON, tax the sterilization procedures, and bring back the 70's

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  7. Remember that crematorium guy somewhere in the US who had bodies strewned all over his backyard?

    Do you think he was trying to cook the books or was St. Peter just on his tea break?

    ReplyDelete
  8. hubby,
    I totally agree with bring back the 70s..
    there is no ism like nihilism!
    Communist countries collapsed because people are naturally greedy little competitive bastards who want to have WAY MORE CRAP than their neighbours.

    While it is true that the West has not created enough taxpayers to support the retiring Baby Boomers (8M in Can & 90M in the US) blank cheque immigration is not the answer if they do not adopt 'north american' values of naked avarice and greed.

    Manitoba needs to separate from Canada before Quebec does and get first crack at all of the Federal Alimony that they are going to throw at them and bankrupt the country in the process.

    Cream,
    HAHAHA yes I do remember that idiot..what a dumbass..
    what a brilliant observation.
    St. Pete must have been on Holidays..
    wait a minute..
    if you're living in Heaven where would you go on vacation?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Poof....and there was me thinking of gay men...

    As for saint peter...maybe that's why the lines are so long and we have to queue for everything.....
    Could be a side affect

    ReplyDelete
  10. 56 million per year
    You cant come close to imagining that, our minds are not conditioned to deal with those sorts of numbers...

    Analogy. Picture 3 matches... you see three matches on a surface.. Now a million matches, Is just a indistinct pile... Now for the m,illion and one. MOst people just see one more mathc thrown on the pile:)

    best put " the death of one person it is a tragedy, the death of one million a statistic"

    I am sure the gates of heaven have been outsourced to a cheaper bidder, with trunstyles, and probably a self check in.

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  11. well DUH, coppens; st. peter is in HEAVEN. he can do miracles now.
    ha!
    i have strongly trumpated you with my so smooth logicness of thinking me!
    MY FU IS UNBEATABLE!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey Whitesnake, I thought exactly the same thing when I saw POOF. Do you think its the Aussie in us. And no, I am not homophobic people, just don't have a sophisticated thought process.

    I'm thinking Heaven must be getting a bit overcrowded by now.

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  13. you're assuming that time and space take on the same properties in the glorious hereafter....!

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  14. With all the new technology there is do you not think St. Peter has gotten online and is using a computer system to be more efficient. So having said that i guess when someone passes on it quickly gets put into the system and before they get to the pearly gates all the paperwork is done. I also guess your explanation of different religions being a way to sort it out might be okay too.

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  15. If St. Peter isn't online, I'm rather disappointed. I'm not sure I want to go to any heaven that is too backward to employ technology to make it all work. What would there be to do there without all the cool toys?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Terrific "line" of thinking. Superb conclusion especially because I agree with you. (Note my wry sense of humor because I also like blogs where people disagree with me. Otherwise, I'd stagnate and well, ewwwwwww, that would stink.)

    I LOVE these exquisite peaks into your mind. You are one fascinating guy. I can envision being in ecstasy (verbal) while in a discussion group with you.

    I have wanted to email you back about your astute comments on my posts, but my "contract" won't let time "expand." When things slow down, (as if time truly slows), I have questions for you. Meanwhile, I will try to visit here more often.

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  17. Going by this statistics maybe we need more religions. Or some sort of collaborations between the existing ones?

    ReplyDelete
  18. whitesnake,
    As a rule I only make broad sweeping ridiculous generalizations about Republicans,
    the charming/tedious rule is universal.
    As you may or may not know we Canadians are NOT that into homophobia...
    something that we can be very proud of.

    aidan,
    If it is true that Heaven is outsourcing it would explain why the entire world is such a mess!
    Your 'statistic' quote sums it up perfectly..
    why do we continue to acquire mountains of data that we can't comprehend.

    first nations,
    'UNCLE!'
    Thank You for clearing that up..did you have any thoughts on my stripping dilemma...and when did they drop the n in dilemna anyway?

    madame butterfly,
    Overcrowded? I would think that the the booking staff in Heaven is getting nervous about all of the cancellations!
    Let's face it, most people end up chossing to retire somewhere 'hot'.

    angela,
    I do presume that time/space are identical..otherwise we wouldn't be able to enjoy the 24 hour buffet featuring all of your favorite foods.

    hodedoo,
    I suppose they are already using VISTA 9.0 up there...but there are probably still kinks to work..nothing is perfect you know!

    la fille mariee,
    Did you read my worlds collide post? I presume that you would have a reasonable solution for me...you sound like a very well informed, practical person.
    I think that in Heaven you are expected to just 'chat' and there isn't anything else to do..no blogging, no carnal pleasures...WHAT!?...that includes eating and drinking and wearing cashmere sweaters too..
    so I would be bored out of my head.

    gel,
    Hey there you are. I will make sure to take an opposing view on something so that we can mix it up.
    Let's get ready to rrrruuuummmmmble!

    gautami,
    Humans have tried to find similarities between their various cosmologies but they ALWAYS,ALWAYS,ALWAYS end up
    competing and killing each other...we just can't seem to rise above the beast.
    I think that we have wasted enough time on that, we gave it the 'ol College Try, and now it's time to take reality out for a test drive.

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  19. I do not think we have given it enough of the'ol college try, as you put it. I am not going to give up on it. Not until I reach your great age...:D After that I might consider..

    Till then, let me enjoy chocolate-chip ice cream.

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  20. gautami,
    OK I'll have a banana SPLIT.

    ReplyDelete
  21. first nations,
    HAHAHAHA!
    I RESEMBLE that comment!
    HAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I think you're on a roll, me man.

    FN got you, big-time, but I still agree with your contention about why there's more than one religion.

    Wherever I'm going, to Heaven or Hell or somewhere else, I figure I'll get the quick rubber stamp.

    And if I declare how much I love la fille Marie's avatar, does that get me into Heaven or Hell?

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  23. within limits,
    I totally deserved that from FN HA!

    btw:
    Mariee's avatar reads 'fille' not 'feel' so you are probably going to HELL for being such a lecherous little sod!

    ReplyDelete
  24. That's a lotta people!!!! (I just said that Albert Brooks style).

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  25. So does that mean there's a St.Laden too?

    keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  26. lee,
    HA! Great connection!

    keshiroo,
    Hmmm I would get into a lot of trouble if I wrote what I am thinking ..so I won't.

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  27. nice nice take. But then there is like 50% more births to offset this death...so the population will rise. We need more religion.

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  28. All we are is dust in the wind, right ? but still it matters if we do right or wrong. St. Peter was a pretty good story to make this clear, but alas it was used as a means of power over others. I find it hard to think about religion without considering it's aspect of controlling others.

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  29. ghosty,
    We are on a collison course with disaster at our present rate of overpopulation in the developing countries.
    More religion means more war more hate..unless of course there is only ONE world religion..which I think is what scares me even more.

    hildegarde,
    Don't get me wrong the NICE people who are religious would be NICE anyway and they set a wonderful example..the OTHERS are in it for the power over the NICE people and ruin the whole thing.,,and to make matters worse the NICE people are too nice to get rid of the others who are ruining it.

    Here endeth today's lesson from the Book of Catch 22.

    ReplyDelete

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