Tuesday, February 27, 2007

(‘dem bones ‘dem bones gonna walk-aroun’)

I regard viewing the documentary
THE JESUS FAMILY TOMB as pure theatre.

This latest expedition/exhibition proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, that even now in the 21st Century, far too many people are unwilling to engage in a civil discussion about the Historical aspects of their Beliefs.

A perfect example is this much maligned documentary that ponders the possibility that a tomb discovered in Jerusalem may contain the remains of Jesus of Nazareth and several members of his family.

The show will be telecast this Sunday, March 4th, on the Discovery Channel.

Author Simcha Jacobovici and Director James (Titanic) Cameron seem to have opened up a doctrinal ‘can of worms’.

This film details the discovery of several ossuaries

(burial bone box)
that are inscribed with the names of a certain Yeshua bar Yosef (Jesus son of Joseph), two variants of Mary, a child, Yehuda bar Yeshua (Judah son of Jesus) and a brother of Jesus. Jesus is the Greek form of the Hebrew name Yeshua which we would translate as Joshua.

The Producers availed the big brain of a Mathematician who calculated through the alchemy of statistical analysis, that the odds of finding another tomb containing that many people with the exact names corresponding to the famous first family, are astronomical.

I am disappointed that the Producers didn’t summon the services of Gus Grissom and the ‘CSI Jerusalem’ crew to settle the nagging question of Jesus’ divinity once and for all.

In this very special episode titled ‘Co-inky-dink?’ the forensic magi of CSI would solve this two thousand year old mystery in exactly one hour (including commercials).

By extracting DNA samples from everyday items such as the SHROUD OF TOURISM, Gus and his crew would nonchalantly solve this murder mystery case (yawn) using basic Empirical Scientific Wizardry and about $5 Billion worth of computers.

You can almost taste the irony!

Just like the DaVinci Code, the Jacobovici Code will be settled once and for all by magically connecting all the dots in the swanky CSI superhero headquarters..and all in the last five minutes of the program.
Next Case Please.

I suppose that the implications of Yeshua bar Yosef having had a mortal burial (and ‘heaven forbid’ a family) are problematic for the Proprietors of Christianity and all of its Subsidiaries.

Nothing stirs the fervor of the uber-faithful like someone trespassing against them. Any questions, whether sincere or irreverent, are taken as an affront to their Hubris, I mean their Pride, D’oh, Integrity!

Why are attempts to establish an open and honest debate regarding scientific or historical evidence of so many Religions confronted with such extreme prejudice and utter revulsion. Are matters of Faith simply beyond the comprehension of unbelievers? Why isn’t authenticity important?

I imagine that this latest incident will only separate the ‘sheep from the chaff’ and that any sincere analysis of a ‘historical’ Jesus will always be swept away in a tsunami of rhetoric.

No doubt there will be renewed threats of eternal damnation hurled from pulpits around the world this Sunday Morning for any potential backsliders who are thinking of watching the program.

Oh well, perhaps such a discussion could take place in another hundred years or so when there are only a handful of humans left to argue about it.

Defending Jesus Burial Tomb



  1. marvellous!
    you have fine turn of phrase and sense of the ironic.

    I think there is already sufficient evidence to prove that Jesus (the mortal man) existed - personally I've never come across much to show that he was anything other than that.

  2. true...why do people do so much to prove more of the same thing, we did not ask for it, the world doesnt need it. Theyre just trumpeting up the pressure of religious zealots to do more crazy things. I can figure that the various religions going ballistic once this came out. Theyre going to go on an euphoria of treasure hunting to prove too many trivial thing.

    And to think that discovery goes to this length to support a mere theory...theyre grappling for ratings i guess.

  3. I don't see why this discovery should matter to the religious - does change what they believe his message to have been? What difference does it really make?

    Oh, yeah... the whole dying and coming back to life thingy. Ah well, let the battle begin.

  4. I've been a Christian my whole life- even when I was off being a punkass rebellious teenager- and you know what I think about the bones discovery?

    Really don't care. Ain't gonna change what I believe.

    Which is--- I follow the teachings of an extraordinary person who was a healer, a prophet, the best teacher ever.

    I'm not offended at all that he might have had a wife and family. As for the ascended to heaven thing- why must we insist on it being literal???

    Oh I do plan to write about this and I sure wish I was going to church on Sunday because this'll be one heck of a sunday school class!!!!

  5. My inner geek is crying out...

    This doesnt prove too much unfortunately... Three very common names of the time found in a common burial place... There is DNA evidence that they were lovers but not of their identity. We have nothing which can identify the remains. The shroud of turin has been on display for too long, 2000 years of contamination may efect the results slightly:).

    I had to laugh when i saw it was James Cameron though, The thought of the coffin hitting a ice berg spliting in half and sinking really appeals to me. Or Jesus drawing Mary "the Man eater" magdeline naked in the cave..

    But CSI Jerusalem i think you might have something there.

  6. i think the discovery is amazing. it's too bad about the movie, because the theatricallity surrounding the discovery will confuse people about the legitemate science and history.

    when the Da Vinci Code came out a whole bunch of idiots thought it was real. This movie is going to make those same idiots think this discovery is fiction. We can't win!

  7. ziggi,
    He was 'Superman' in those old Hollywood blockbusters..
    but in modern film he is more like 'gandhi'.

    Ever since Discovery channel went from Dinosaurs to Motorcycles (WTF?) they have lost their vision...this little bit of sensationalism won't help their cause because like all of the other nerds, I am not going back until they show more Dinosaurs!

    Bit of a sticky wicket eh wot?

    Write on! We all look at things from different angles,
    my desire for cold hard facts eventually killed my faith..I love the message..but question who wrote it and how it got to its present form.
    Something like this is like a trip to Disneyland for me..ironically this is just the tip of the Iceberg (bad Cameron pun)

    The shroud of Tourism was carbon dated well into the middle ages and without CSI this fishing expedition is doomed from the getgo.
    All that it does prove is how polarized everybody is on this...but what if!?

    chaucer's bitch,
    HA! judging from all of the hyperbole on the news channels last night we can get a glimpse of how Darwin felt putting his head on the chopping block...
    not that much has changed between the two camps has it?
    That is really sad..let's fix it.

  8. Funny, I did a similar post on this last night. I think you stole this from me...

    We essentially say the same thing. It is comical watching the religious people on the news getting so worked up over this.

  9. I can't believe this. James "Titanic" Cameron has already proved himself a master of historical fiction. He doesn't need to do it again.

  10. I think you're on the verge, if you're not already there, of becoming a blult figure.

    That is, a cult figure in the blogging world. CSI Jerusalem? That's exactly what should be applied to this whole silly debate.

    Did I completely misunderstand or is your post not just poking fun at this apparent new "discovery," but more on Christianity's quick condemnation of any possibility than anything other than what it or the Bible says MUST be full of shit and anyone who even considers it will be damned to hell for eternity?

    That's the most remarkable and laughable thing to me, and what I understood to be the main theme of your excellent post.

    Who cares if the DaVinci Code is or was all a hoax, totally fictitious or all truth or part truth?

    Or Passion of the Christ?

    The church, so insecure as a fading and flailing man-made institution, can't let its flimsy house of straw be threatened.

    So it tries to blow down any and all theories that question it or the Bible.

    Loved Shroud of Tourism...another Escapeonism for your file...

  11. I agree with u HE.

    **Why are attempts to establish an open and honest debate regarding scientific or historical evidence of so many Religions confronted with such extreme prejudice and utter revulsion

    thats so true. I mean why cant ppl just leave their beliefs for a while and try n analyse the evidence and then come to a conclusion? It's wierd how some beliefs can make ppl blind, deaf and dumb.


  12. plagarismblogger,
    Well this is a multi faceted conundrum..on the one hand it is encouraging to see an honest examination of the historical aspects and it is also depressing because what happened is exactly what you would expect...at this glacial rate we should know the truth in another 5 million years.

    This evidence is intriguing because the ducks line up but the ducks have all been ripped from a collection of stories that have been edited and rewritten for 2 thousand years...so we actually don't even know what to really examine..did that make any sense at all?

    without winter tires,
    Well when you react with such venom it raises suspiscions..why would you be afraid of even the most intense scrutiny if you are absolutely confident that what you believe is true.
    There is no need to get so crazy unless you are hiding something..

    there is an ex priest in Italy right now who is suing the Vatican for knowingly perpetrating a lie for 2 thousand years..can you imagine how that trial will be covered..YOWSA!

    I understand why people hang on because they are afraid of quitting and the hope of deliverance is always right around the corner..
    plus most have either never known anything else or have the euphoric zealotry of recent conversion..
    but we all fear change..
    there are plenty of excellent reasons for sticking to your guns...faith is the substance of things yet seen.

  13. true...blind faith I guess!


  14. Religion is like insurance,
    You just might need it one day.

    Just think if all this is true The whole religious thing is gonna get one big shake up.....
    won't that be fun.....

    Now whitesnake for you penance you must write a blog in why religion is important to so many people who are poor and out of work and can't eat and who suffer continously...

    The rich people only believe in their own dribble.....

    Wonder if the pope ever has to go without food cos they run out?

  15. People should realize that the Bible was authored by men and as such, they are human and prone to mistakes. I've been a Catholic my whole life but I recognize that sometimes the Catholic Church takes it to the extreme.

  16. "Nothing stirs the fervor of the uber-faithful like someone trespassing against them."
    You are right, HE.

    When that happens I look away and vomit.
    Sorry, but that fervour always stirs something inside me... Yes, my stomach!

  17. keshi,
    Having endured such a state of existance I am exempt from the 'don't knock it 'til you've tried it' crowd.
    I just happen to have found my equilibrium elsewhere.

    Don't get me started on the Pope..from my earliest memories I can still pluck Martin Luther's TOP TEN reasons to think for yourself.
    Good luck with your penance.

    That is a very healthy attitude and we all need to come sort of peace with our belief system.
    A lot of us exist in a culturally christian environment and for the most part concentrate on the 'good stuff' that deals with being decent and forgiving. What this world would look like without that is beyond contemplation.

    There is always someone who spoils it for everybody else...usually someone in a position of authority whose naked ambition does not reflect the hopes, dreams and aspirations of the majority.
    What irks me is that these spoilers don't even seem to realise how far removed they are from the mandate that they are supposedly adhering to.
    Get a mirror!

  18. Ignorance is bliss, no?

    Historically, the formation of present day religions by absorbing ancient traditions, celebrations and myths is truly facinating. Obviously, nothing in Christianity is original.

    One should study Isis and one of her sons Osiris to see the striking resemblance of the present day Virgin Mary and Jesus. Even the part where Mary was a virgin and Jesus rising after his death.

    And I love the quote (not sure who said it) that "Religion is for people who are afraid of hell. Spirituality is for people who've been there."

  19. I take it you didn't like my pictorial of you!

  20. Oh my, now you are going to have the religious right trolling your blog. Now you've gone and done it.

    Excellent post, HE.

    Carry on...

  21. I heard about this on the news this morning. I'll be watching if I can remember to watch it. I hope you do a follow-up post.

  22. kevin,
    That is very true and I have written at length about all of the plagarism.
    I really like the heaven and hell quote.

    For the record I have waded into the shallow end of the blogosphere to mix it up with the the Theocratists..but it is rarely productive.

    We'll see..i am anticipating the usual 'oh it's Lent and every year someone presents some new assault on our beliefs' so unless someone like Richard Dawkins wades into the Foray it will all be swept under the rug for another year...ho hum.

  23. whitesnake,
    Sorry mate..OH No I thought that the picture you chose was very flattering. Hope you enjoy your vacation.
    Mind the blue ring octopus, box jellys, Bull, Tiger and White Sharks and have a wonderful relaxing time at the Beach.
    No Worries.

  24. That last image there looks like Grissum in the centre, with a beard no less...dontcha think??

  25. *Looking heavenwards*

    Here we go yet again on a trip on religion!

    PS: I did try to keep away from this blog for 10 days but....:(

  26. cazzie,
    You know what, oddly enough I am attracted to (CSI)Gus's inner geekiness and I like (CSI Miami)David Caruso's hangdog jump in and out of the frame in every shot style..he is more intense.
    (CSI NY)as for Forrest Gump's
    'leu-ten-ant Dan' he just seems too cold and crabby..I'm sure that there will be more CSIs coming soon.

    OOOh a ten day shunning eh! Seee you felt guilty and had to come back..you missed scolding me.

  27. I am for anything that keeps the Religi-Nut Christianists busy enough to stop their assault on Democracy. I like this documentary for the same reason I enjoyed the existence of the DaVinci Code. =) Keep 'em Busy jousting at windmills.

  28. shelley,
    Okee Dokee Dawn Quixotee!

  29. p.s. It's GIL Grissom. Just so you know.

  30. chaucer's bitch,
    D'OH! You are absoulutely right I was thinking (or more likely not thinking) of Gus Grissom the Astronaut.

  31. i think it could very well be christ's family- as in his parents and brothers and sisters. he did have a family... and besides, why couldn't there be another family with the same name? happens all the time. doesn't it?

  32. angel,
    From my understanding of this thing..a statistician developed a theory based on the popularity of these names and the chances of all of them being in the same family.
    I am not sure how they figured it out but I do know that in the movie Good Fellas everybody named their kids Maria and Paul..so you may be right.


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