homo escapeons

History is factually Ourstory

In 1582 the GREGORIAN (Pope Gregory 13th) Calendar was established to replace the JULIAN (Julius Caesar) Calendar because it was too long and added a few extra days over time.

One year earlier an Irish child was born who would one day unveil the fact that the world began on October 23rd, 4004 BC! "IT WHAT?!"

Anglican Bishop James Ussher (1581-1656) dutifully investigated the book of Genesis to determine the exact years of NOAH'S FLOOD and the CREATION of ADAM & EVE.
"Your basic no-brainer!"

Since 4 BC had sort of been picked as the birth year of Jesus (see MITH about Christmas) all he had to do was subtract 4,000 years...so..4004 BC... DONE!
Alright to be fair Ussher thought that everyone mentioned in the Bible were actual people so all he had to do was trace the geneaologies back to ADAM.
"Holy Begats Batman!"

Unfortunately it is virtually impossible to corroborate any historical figures in the Bible past Saul, the first King of Israel in the year 1020 BC.
"A-be-dee-a-be-dee-a- that's Saul Folks!"

From all other contemporary historical sources such as Egyptian, Greek, Roman or Sumerian etcetera there are no written records of any other biblical figures beyond this point.
"Anybody-here, seen my old friend Abraham? Can you tell me where he's gone?"

Ussher had the mistakenly placed Saul at around 1095 BC instead of 1020BC, not bad. The rest of his guesses get wonky. Ussher liked 1490 BC for the Exodus from Egypt although Ramses 2nd was Pharoah at about 1237 BC.
"Let my people go ...You damn dirty ape,"Charlton Heston,
(I always get those movies mixed up!)

The most obvious oops (granted Ussher had no way of knowing that there never was a wordwide flood) was putting Noah and the Great Deluge in the year 2349 BC. It is interesting to note that the Tigris and Euphrates were prone to floods and from what I have read a massive event had occurred in Mesopotamia around 2800 BC but the Sumerian and Egyptian Empires were both flourishing unfettered by global flooding around 2300 BC.
"There's gonna be a floody floody!"

Many scholars agree that the Jews started piecing together the Bible around 586 BC while experiencing the hospitality of the Babylonians. During this captivity the traditional tales of a catastrophic flooding, fables like the Epic of Gilgamesh, became the inspiration for the Hebraic Noah.

There are obvious connections to the mythical pre-flood Sumerian Kings and their fantastic life spans. Likewise the Biblical Patriarchs of Noah enjoyed incredibly ridiculous longetivity. Methusaleh apparently lived to be 939 years old.
"Uh Huh."

Regardless, there is not a shred of evidence to suggest that the entire world experienced Noah's flood.
We now know that the Sumerians were writing and recording events starting as early as 3100 BC. This helps us to trace the history of Mesopotamia and Egypt to within putting distance of Usshurs guesstimate of 4004 BC. We have uncovered evidence of celebrities and civilisations such as Nebuchadnezzar & Chaldeans, Esarhaddon & Assyrians, Hammurabi & Babylonians, Sargon & Sumerians back to Narmer & Egyptians around 2850 BC!

We have also unearthed some of the first cities such as Catal Huyuk dating back to 7,500 BC and Jericho to about 9,000 BC! We won't wander past this point in OURstory because obviously we can travel much further and more accurately in reverse than Ussher could.

What about the allegorical ADAM & EVE popping up on October 23rd, 4004?

Well I actually believe in EVE! Mitochondrial EVE, she lived about 150,000 years ago in Africa and every single one of us homo escapeons on the planet shares her DNA.
So why are some folks in Kansas (there is no place like home Dorothy) still insisting on teaching this nonsense about a 6ooo year old planet in the Science curriculum?
COME ON!