IF WE CAN LEGALLY CHANGE OUR NAME AND EVEN OUR SEX,
THEN WHY CAN'T WE CHANGE OUR AGE?
Today is December 6th, as FDR once said,
"a day that will live in infamy"..
wait that was Dec 7th..
today is just my birthday and I am 49.
When you are a kid it isn't great having a birthday in December because it is too close to you-know-who's birthday. Instead of having the two biggest days of the year (getting presents) spread out over the year it's all crammed into one month.
What is even more annoying is that you-know-who's BIG Birthday celebration never even happened on December 25th, and mine did!
Celebrating Christmas on December 25th was a completely fabricated and calculated attempt to outdo the huge December 25th festival of the competition, Mithraism.
The Roman Emperor Constantine made Christianity the official state religion in 337 and the Natalis Solis Invicti, the Birthday of the invincible sun god Mithras on Dec. 25th, as well as the December festival of Saturnalia, which had been celebrated by Romans for 1,000 years, were replaced by Christ's Mass.
Now a more realistic date for Yeshua's Birthday is April or May..but what are ya gonna do?
I will save the rest of my kvetching for my Christmas Rant: Tirade of Discomfort and Joy...
where were we?..
I was born on this day 49 years ago in the little town of Whateverpeg.
Notice that I did not say nearly fifty years ago or almost half a Century ago..
because that sounds like a long time.
I am still in my forties (nyeh) and up until yesterday the same age as Madonna and Michael Jackson...
and in 2 short days my nemesis Donny Osmond will also be 49.
Now aside from the NFL team in San Francisco and some band that I don't know from Adam, #49 doesn't really bring to mind any specific imagery unlike certain other numbers like the infamous # 69!
So therefore I am going to take the next twelve months in stride as simply being Middle Aged.
The pipe, sweater, slippers and hemorrhoid cushion can all wait another year.
To be honest I don't expect Middle Age to be that big of a deal since I went through the self humiliation of the Mid Life Crisis in my thirties.
So no heavy bling (Mt T Starter Kit) shiny red convertibles or twenty something Arm Candy either.
If any of you had any life changing Road To Damascus type events present themselves on or during your 49th please let me know..otherwise 49 seems to be a non-eventful twelve months that you are given to prepare for turning 50!
If anybody knows what doin a '49' actually entails, and if I'll need to go to a chiropractor if I attempt it, that information will be greatly appreciated.