Sunday, December 03, 2006

THE ALIENS AMONG US
Cats and Dogs may share our homes but they live in a different world.

According to a Canadian Geographic special that I watched it is incredibly different.
For starters they see the world in
bluish green.

We humans have eyes that are adapted to diurnal living as opposed to the nocturnal vision of most mammals. Scientists believe that this nocturnal existance evolved as the reptilian mammals evolved to take advantage of the solar powered Dinosaurs inactivity at night.

Cats and Dogs have eyes with more rods for magnifying light while humans have more cones for colour.
Dogs and Cats cannot see anything that is in the RED spectrum!

So during the daytime your cat sees the world as if it were an overexposed greeny blue photo, while at night they see things 7 times brighter than us.

Dogs have 40x more smell receptors than we do and Cats have 20x more than us.
We humans win the taste test department. We have approximately 9000 receptors that's why we can't eat dead mice...but Cats can because they have a lousy sense of taste, they only have 473 receptors. So don't waste your money on fancy catfood.
Dogs have a little better sense of taste than cats with 1000 taste receptors.

Either way they live in an olfactory world as opposed to our visualcentric universe. Cats can follow the trails of mice urine throughout your house as if it were a super highway. Mice can barely see anything past their noses so they pee everywhere and follow their nose around your house...is that gross or what?

Dogs of course discover their canine friends through checking out the unique smells produced by the scent glands that are located on their rear ends.

If you live in an olfactory world this makes perfect scents/sense..
to us it is just seems impolite and weird.

Dogs brains let them see the world at 80 frames per sec..unfortunately they can't watch TV with us because TV operates at 60 frames per second which is human speed. So Dogs just see jumpy cropped flickering blurry images...but of course they can hear it much better than us. Dogs can hear and recognise the exact hum of your car engine when you are approaching your home...that's why they run to the door..they aren't psychic.

Cats hear 3 times better than us and this allows them to hear the nearly blind mice squeaking to other mice as they scurry about the urine trails around your house!!!

Every Dog in the world has evolved from wolves some 100,000 years ago. Humans have accepted Dogs so well because they are pack animals and these developmentally retarded wolf puppies are perfectly suited to our needs.

The slobbery kiss that you get when you walk in the door is a submissive wolf trait. Many breeds have been bred with freeze frame hunting traits from wolves. Bloodhounds are stuck on Search...Border Collies are stuck at Chase....Pointers are stuck on Sighting..Retrievers are stuck on Catch..and we train a few breeds to go the next level of hunting which is attack.

Bad owners = bad dogs because they are desperately in need of training and securing their position in their pack.

I personally think that all humans should be required to pass a battery of tests, as involved as acquiring a driving license, before they are permitted to own a dog..but that's just me.

Of course purebred owners are hoping that geneticists can cure the disastrous side effects that their little frankensteinian creations suffer from because of the massive chromosonal corruption of inbreeding family members...in evolutionary terms they are all dead enders.

In the land of Pets it is reigning Cats n' Dogs. Although these familiar creatures live in a much different world and experience life on an alien scale..
we love them anyway.

36 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:27 PM

    you are so right! stupid and irrisponsible dog owners are the most obnoxious breed of people on the planet!

    i was once bitten by a tempermental akita whose owner told me afterward (and i swear this is exactly what she said, word for word): "Don't worry, he's not dangerous. he's only bitten 30 or 40 people and of those, only one had to be hospitalized, and that one was an accident."

    i couldn't make that up if i tried.

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  2. I didn't know that bit about the tv. I always thought my dogs could see what we see. The puppy seems to often stop and watch the tv - especially when other animals are being shown.

    I am seriously loving the term "developmentally retarded wolf puppies". That sounds so frickin cute!

    And I would hate to fail those tests you suggest and not have my retarded wolf puppies. I love them so damn much.

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  3. I'm available to help develop the dog owner test if you'd like some assistance! :)

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  4. awwwwwwww cute post!

    I have had many cats and dogs in my life. At one time I had 10 cats and 3 dogs. LOL yeah i can get crazy abt em. My dad was an avid dog-lover and he's the one who got me into all this. And I simply adore these creatures. They r atleast loyal and truly loving beings...and talk abt humans DUHHHHHH!

    Keshi.

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  5. chaucer's bitch,
    Yikes! No kidding..how many times have I heard Oh he's very friendly as the exposed fangs glisten inches from my nadgers.
    The worst are those young punks and their Rotties or Dobies who are as retarded as their owners...these dogs are always trotting along ahead off leash and an impulse away from attacking you or your kids...where is my tazer?

    anna,
    I am sure that you are a wonderful responsible pet lover. I can tell by your posts that your developmentally retarded wolf puppy is adored and pampered.
    We walk past a psychotic dog that never seems to get walked and throws himself against the fence as the kids walk past on their way to school. If that creature ever gets out through an unlocked gate it will be terrible.
    I feel sorry for the dog and nothing but contempt for the owner...she just smiles as if nothing is wrong.

    angela,
    Send your list. Can you imagine if one day governments started to regulate pet ownership under the guise of a Health concern..like the Avian Flu.
    There is a special place in hell for puppy mill owners, dog fight organisers, Oriental restaurants and merchants who make products out of ..I can't even say it.
    I wonder if we can we ever stop these cruel practices...which seem especially monstrous given the Dog's natural instinct to belong.
    ugh.

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  6. hey, an interesting post...you too can check out my doggie's post on
    dog's dictionary. I hope u'll love it...

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  7. now this is certainly interesting. we had dogs, whom are very close to us. If the dog is happy, it wont bug anyone, to make a dog happy, you must be its pet, not the other way around. :p

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  8. btw,,,the contest closing date is now on the 20th of december bro.

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  9. It drives me mad thinking about bad pet owners. The laws need to be changed regarding attacks. Owners should be held responsible for their dogs, financially and legally. Maybe then we wouldn't have to resort to bans, killing innocent pups.

    Interesting post, I didn't know very much about their eyesight or taste. I can't imagine a world without our furry friends.

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  10. Anonymous4:23 AM

    did you know that in the UK it is the law that a pitbull must have a muzzle on at all time when outside its home? it's true, but whenever i see a jerk walking a pitbull with no muzzle i'm always too afraid to tell them! i'm not going near those things!

    (you wouldn't know it, but i AM a dog-lover. my 14.5 year old beagle is the sweetest creature on earth!)

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  11. Hi HE
    Such a great post!
    I love all those furry wonderful companions I have had over the years!
    I cannot imagine my life without them!
    The joy I have received from all of them has added so much to my life!

    Come next year...we will be getting another dog...it had just been too sad for us with Sammy gone!
    No dog will ever take Sammy's place, but we are ready to pour our
    affection onto another doggie pal!
    And...my kitty needs a friend!
    She and Sam were the best of friends!

    I once was bitten by a dog when I was a little girl...
    the owner's of that dog did not treat the dog very well...
    and she was a mean dog!
    I did not blame the dog though!

    Loved all your info.
    Have a great day!

    Margie

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  12. Great post, Homey! :) I am an animal lover in the extreme, and have been the proud owner of worms, ants, mice, hampsters (regular and dwarf), boas, pythons, dogs, cats, and boyfriends. *cough* hehe.

    It's all up the owner as to how a pet will act. I've had super anti-social pets that have become the best friends in my life, such as the cat I picked precisely because he bit me. That was the sweetest cat, and I had him 9 more years without being bitten again. I did have to hide from all the kitty love, though. TOTAL lapcat.

    I take the pets that don't have a chance on their own. My best dog ever (besides the collie that saved my life) was a runty-litter throwback that I got for free in a BIKER BAR in San Diego. He looked like a beagle/boxer when he grew up, although his parents were purebred rottie and pitt bull. That dog was the singlemost well-behaved dog I've ever met. Of course, I got him at 10 weeks and trained the hell out of him. I wrestled with him and won, every time, in order to teach him obedience to me. I learned that rottweilers positively LIVE for their owner's praise, versus any types of treats. That dog also only had to be told one time to not bark, to follow, and to be GOOD! Best freaking dog EVAR. So good, in fact, that a psycho ex-boyfriend stole him away from me and I never saw him again. I still miss that little guy. What a fabulously smart, sweet, and naturally protective dog. /sigh.

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  13. What are mammamls?

    Either that's another one that failed the spellcheck or you've just invented another Donn word.

    And when are you guys finally going to give in and get another Jack?

    First you post about one dog, then you expand it into another topic all about dogs.

    Can we get a little variety here pls?

    Oh yeah. Happy birthday on Wednesday. Should I buy you a dog? Seems like Britney's for sale to a good home.

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  14. Anonymous7:06 PM

    Now what happened to my comment? It was a brilliant, insightful, and awe inspiring reply that was due to be nominated for "Best comment of the year" at this years' Cannes comment festival.......sigh.....I coulda been a contender.........

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  15. I tend to agree with what anna said. I was visiting my ex-husband's place once and he let his dog come inside to see a dog on the T.V. -Wags watched and then walked around to the BACK of the T.V. to try and find the dog and then walked back to look at the screen again. So he sure was seeing more than a blur on the screen - well he could make out that it was a doggy shaped blur at least :).

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  16. justin,
    Thanks for stopping by...
    I certainly will go over for a visit..it would be ARFully rude of me not to.

    ghosty,
    So if I am hearing what you are saying then the pets should be petting us? I would have starved to death waiting for my dog to feed me!

    christine,
    No kidding we would never know about unconditional love without having dogs! Which is ironic because we always refer to wayward men as dogs?

    chaucer's bitch,
    I believe that you love pets..you just understand that most people aren't capable or willing to properly take care of them.
    What is your ancient beagle's name?
    $5 says it's Shadow..#1 dog name.

    margie,
    Ahhh!...You told me about Sam..it has been 5 years since our Jack passed away and maybe next Spring we'll work up the nerve to start all over. Our little guy is 5 now and practising with a plush puppy named Joe...I guess we're stuck with Joe for a name.

    tidalgrrl,
    What a sad story..I am sure that your dog always missed you too...as for your stupid ass ex boyfriend psycho freak..well you know what I am gonna say...how low can you get?
    I can see you training a pooch to perfection.

    within,
    There arsehole, go look, I fixed it! What was the other dog?
    VARIETY!? You don't think that I explore different topics?! Sheesh.
    Don't buy me a dog..every spring my goodladywife's students come to school with boxes of free farm puppies.

    THE michael,
    Dunno? Find it or rewrite it..google yourself and retrieve it from cyberspace..I'd like to hear it.

    lee,
    Dogs can see the outlines but that big black space bar rolls through the screen..plus all of the bright greeny blue haze doesn't help..don't forget they could hear the other dog too.
    Our Jack would wake up every once and a while and stare at the TV and cock his head to and fro..trying to figure something out..then he would sigh, stretch and go back to hogging the couch.
    Gawd I still miss him.

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  17. G'day... it good to be home stace and I are alive and well and back on blogs....

    I really want a dog but i dont have the room for it. It is cruel to keep a big dog in a unit. And i couldnt stand something small and yappie, not after my last Jack Russell.

    For now i will have to stick to teaching my gold fish tricks.

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  18. I really miss having proper pets! The goldfish are all very well, but I want a neopolitan mastiff (Fang from Harry Potter movies was one by the way). But with the working hours Aidan and I keep, and the travel we still want to do... a dog would only be neglected, no matter how much we loved it! So we live pet-free. Sigh.

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  19. You are a mighthy good documentary-commentator, a real pleasure to read. Now about the super highway of mice, even we humans can hardly not smell that ! Oh bah ! And there is even more : the color of their highway is ultraviolet, which can be seen by predators such as falcons : when they hang in the air, they are watching highways and crossroads, just waiting for their meal.

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  20. Only you could wow me with facts about cats and dogs I kid you not! Dios mio! I was envious and wowed and disgusted all in one! K-POW indeed! And what a punch!

    They say that UFOs and the like can best be seen with ultra violet light... the night shot on a camcorder works great... and that they are all around... hmmm. I wonder what these innocent looking kitties know that we don't! Oh if only Tigerlily could talk!

    Oh... and your request has been fulfilled... sort of! ;-P

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  21. aidan!
    Welcome back Honeymooner. I wonder if you think that Jack Russels are the smartest dogs on the planet..I remember Gene Hackman said that in a movie and I knew that the author must have had a JR.
    Goldfish can't hear you talking because they only hear low frquency sounds...like sharks..apparently that's why sharks love helicopters hovering over the water...something to consider when you are bobbing up and down waiting to get rescued.

    stace!
    A Mastiff! No way I'm touching that one. I remember our Vet telling us about a huge Mastiff that he saw at the clinic. It was the size of a calf! He joked about it and said that it would be impossible to get him on the examination table without a winch and a block and tackle.
    You would certainly feel safe wherever you went even though your pooch would be a big mushy baby.

    Hildegarde,
    Excellent point you make. Insects and birds see in the UV range. Flowers become landing strips for bees with wild patterns leading to the juicy bits...beautiful flowers evolved for insects not humans.
    For birds too the world is illuminated to Nth degree..Parrots see glowing fruit and Hawks see the rodent trails from far above.
    When you start comparing the super specialized senses of other animals you become acutely aware of all the things that we humans gave up to build a bigger brain.

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  22. miz bohemia,
    I know from reading your awesome postings and watching your YouTubian exploits that your cats are an integral part of your existence.
    Cats can't talk because we would be horrified to know what is going on in our homes at night. I was especially interested in discovering that they have such a lousy sense of taste..so much for all of those fancyschmancy catfood commercials..although they can smell them..but it does explain why they can eat dead mice.
    As for the UFOs and ghosts and all other things that go bump in the night I understand why cats want to sleep all day after all of the nocturnal activity that they witness. YIKES!
    I'm on my way.

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  23. Anonymous11:22 AM

    Excellent posting Mr. HE.

    I'm glad the Lads can't talk. They'd land my ass in jail fo'shure.

    The whole mouse just squeeked me out.

    My sister has a Rottie. 150 pound (someone do the metrics on that, mkay? I'm an American, I can't do kilos) dog which thinks he's a chihuahua. He's just a big cream puff. People who don't know him can be quite nasty to him - that he hasn't turned into a vicious beast is amazing.

    I would love to have a dog again. The last one I had died when I was 13. Sweet, sweet mutt. But I'm gone 15 hours a day and, unlike my sister, I can't take a dog to work with me. I would have either a (mutt) Old Enlish Mastiff http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_Mastiff or Irish Wolfhound http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Wolfhound

    Is the Raven still haunting you HE?

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  24. laura e,
    Have you seen the movie, Snatch? I love it when Piker Pitt says
    "De ye like degs? DEGS!"

    Irish Wolfhound Irish Wolfhound!!!
    Yes if I lived in the countryside I would have atleast one and probably two of these big babies.
    Everytime there is a movie set in medieval europe they always exhibit a couple of lordly IWs lying in front of the 12 foot fireplace ...
    I forget about concentrating on the plot and stare at the degs.
    I just wished that BIG degs lived as long as little degs!

    The Raven is Never More..

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  25. Anonymous2:28 PM

    Daisy. You owe me a fiver.


    (Being a beagle, she was named after the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm, birthplace of the world's most famousest beagle, Snoopy.)

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  26. Anonymous2:30 PM

    (if you want to see pics, go to my blog and search for the phrases "Easter Beagle" and "belly beagle." she's a real cutie-patooty.)

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  27. chaucer's bitch,
    Hey atleast I didn't say Snoopy!
    Here is your fiver.
    I would love to see pictures of your patooty, I'll be right over.

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  28. Very interesting shit you've got here. Thanks for the post. I'll now and forever wonder if my cat has xray vision in those rods of his. Come dance in my blog sometime soon.

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  29. HUH HE forgot to look my way :*(

    Keshi.

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  30. KESHI!!!
    I must have zipped over to your blog before..sorry.
    I always knew that you would have been a big mush when it came to animals...and you are right compared to manimals they are loyal. It is such a huge responsibility to care for another creature, especially one that is totally dependent on you..but it is so rewarding.
    Your Dad really was a great guy wasn't he? You always speak so fondly of him. I miss mine too.

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  31. lindsey,
    Hey thanks. You can stare at a Cat for decades and never know what they are thinking. I'll waltz over tomorrow. Thanks for dropping by.

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  32. My second brother has a dog. I like going to his place becos of that dog and becos of my brother!

    Somehow I am uncomfortable with cats!

    Don't know why!

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  33. gautami,
    Dogs live to please the leader and superior members of the pack. Since they are stuck in wolf puppy mode they cannot help it.
    Aside from Lions, Cats are preternaturally solitary hunters and for the most part seem to tolerate humans because they bring them food and worship them.

    Many cat people admire felines for their independence and feel nothing but contempt for dogs who they see as sycophantic slobbering fools.
    I like both, but having had a cat sink those tiny sharp teeth and all 20 talons into one of my legs I still get nervous around some of them. I have never been bitten by a dog..so there it 'tis.

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  34. and do we ever love them!
    my three furry masters rule our little home and they have me exceptionally well trained! taxi distracts me with silly cute clownish behaviour while greebo opens the cupboards to get at the kitty treats and grampa scratchy plays te old man card so i'll carry him everywhere and bring everything to him in the bedroom!
    the little tidbit about how dogs see tv is an interesting thing!

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  35. angel,
    I know that you are a HUGE cat lover. Your crew sounds like they have got it made! How long did it take for them to train you?

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  36. hey its ok :)

    yep..Im such a huge animal-fan HE. Dad taught me to be kind and loving to our fellow-mates on this Earth. And also, I love pigs. I had one when I was little. Her name was Kiri (means MILK in Sinhalese). We also had 2 goats and rabbits when we were in the country hehehe.


    Keshi.

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