Sunday, December 21, 2008

HO HO HO NO NO NO
Christmas Rerun from Nov 06
Why not? TV is nothing but reruns!

It's that time of the year again. The airwaves are clogged with those contrived miserable Carols and their latest incarnations blatantly cashing in to make a fast buck.

Few things in Life are as mindnumbingly nauseating as Christmas Albums.



To help battle the deprresing effects of these done-to-death earworms, I love listening to off kilter stuff like South Park's Lonely Jew at Christmas.



I was contemplating making a new Disc for the Hollow Days and I realised that nobody has ever made a better Christmas album than Boney M!



I think that it's the purpose driven Ka-CHING and artifice of Christmas songs that throws me into convulsions?
The main themes are always some sort of Magical thinking, Good ole fashion GUILT (the gift that keeps on giving) or a very public capitualtion of reasoning and admission of one's encyclopedic ignorance of history.












One particular song,
I'll be Home for Christmas, makes me want to ingest a bottle of pills and slide into a warm bubble bath with a plugged in toaster.. it may very well be the most depressing song ever written.











On the other hand, I have adopted Band (84) Aid's Feed the World as a bona fide Holiday Song and I do like Brian Setzer's Rockin Around the Christmas Tree.


I wish John Lennon's Christmas song hadn't been played to death...although it is still lightyears ahead of Sir Paul's effort,
'sim-ply hav-ing, a won-der-ful Christmas time!"

I have always been fascinated by the bizarre pairing of David Bowie with Bing Crosby singing Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy together..but it works for me.

To be perfectly honest I find most of these cheesy contrived gimmicky blatant money grabbing songs to be insanely tedious and impossibly annoying.

Thanks to their endless rotation on TV commercials, the radio and in the shopping centres, by December 2nd I just want to scream!



So I need to find some NEW and tolerable Christmas Music to adjust my attitude

..any suggestions?


Since there are so many frightful Christmas tunes somebody out here must know a few songs that are delightful ?

Please forward:
ANYTHING NEW
3 that you LOVE
3 that you HATE.

49 comments:

  1. "Oh yes ??" strange, I think we don't have that : endless rotations of christmas songs, or maybe I don't notice that ? or maybe I don't come in such places ? I'll keep my ears open :-)

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  2. Anonymous12:01 PM

    Favorites:

    "Silent Night"

    "O Holy Night"

    and your favorite:

    "I'll Be Home For Christmas"

    Loathe:

    "Grandma Got Runned Over By A Reindeer"

    Any Christmas music performed by Chipmunks

    "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

    What's with Elvis? He looks cross-eyed on his Christmas album.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hildegarde,
    I REFUSE to listen to the radio during December..actually I rarely listen to the radio because I create my own discs but nevertheless it drives me insane that they start playing them December 1st!

    Laura e,
    Which Mommy version..Jackson 5 or does it matter..
    I'll be home for christmas makes me convulse in tears because it reminds me of how horrible this world can be...especially for the millions of starving kids in the world... and furious at the little spoiled f***ing brats who are caught up in the gimme gimme $1000's worth of presents to prove how their parents 'love' them more than the neighbours 'love' their kids...
    and more importantly the soldiers 'trapped' fighting overseas.

    Are there any particular artists that you prefer..my guess is that you like the traditional versions?

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  4. Any version of "Mommy..." blech!

    The year "I'll Be Home for Christmas" came out my maternal Grandfather had two sons serving in World War II and it always made him tear up - even 40 years after they both came home safe and sound. So, I know what you mean, but I still love it.

    For the most part I like the traditional versions of Christmas music.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous3:11 PM

    I love all the Christmas songs that've ever been invented!
    I must do because I sing the buggers in my sleep!
    They're on a loop in all three restaurants...

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love any Carpenters Christmas music. Awwwww.... :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. laura e,
    Cool Avatar btw, see what I mean that song is killer sad!

    creamster,
    You are a beautiful human being!
    As I sit here spinning into my shame spiral I feel totally depressed by my grinchness and I am overwhelmed with remorse about kvetching about Christmas Carols..

    until about...

    now.
    Enjoy the loop.

    et tu Tidal?
    Wo! You wrote Carpenters and Christmas in the same sentence..
    (*HE bursts into flames)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5:05 PM

    Scrooge said it for me! Not the jollity and love and all the good Christmas stuff, but the crass beat-'em-round the-ears NOISE. You want carols? Something like Kings College (Cambridge), Brompton Oratory (London)or any trained choir singing the traditional tunes.(Not on record, but brilliant, some West Indian friends singing "De Virgin Mary Had a Baby Boy".Yeah, we had cut-down 44gal drums, too!We were good.)
    My worst picks? Bloody noisy school kids, screaming in shopping centres about Frosty the Snowman and all those other non-Christmas inventions.More than 3 of course, so I'll go away and let the rest of you enjoy yourselves. I'm a curmudgeon.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Faves:

    So This is Christmas

    O Holy Night

    I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

    Blah:

    Drummer Boy

    And I'm sure there's more, but truth be told, I don't think I really hate any of them.

    I'm not a grinch but I don't get into Christmas near as much as some people, and certainly not the way I did as a kid.

    But what I do retain is those memories I had as a kid, and all those tunes are ingrained.

    Good times, good feelings, good tunes.

    Even when I'm forced to drag my butt out Xmas shopping, as long as they're playing those tunes I'm OK.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My all-time favourite is A Charlie Brown Christmas with all that mellow jazz ~ my favourite Christams song is "Christmas Time Is Here" from that album.

    Try a Punk Rock Christams. It's this family's new favourite

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  11. I LOVE Christmas music! These are just a few of my favourites:

    Baby Please Come Home (U2)

    Baby It's Cold Outside (ONLY the Barry Manilow version. I'm not crazy about other versions.)

    Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Bruce Springsteen)

    Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt)

    Trim Up the Tree (from the How the Grinch Stole Christmas Soundtrack)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Like:

    --The Nutcracker Album (Tchaikovsky)
    --"A Charlie Brown Christmas" soundtrack
    --"Step into Christmas" by Elton John

    Hate:

    --"Santa Baby" by Madonna
    --"Let it Snow"
    --"Little Drummer Boy"

    ReplyDelete
  13. I can't believe that Boney M did a christmas album -haha.
    Like: War is over and... that's probably about it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love em all. Except country ones. Too painful to bare. This is tough. Let me think on this a bit and get back to you...and remember just for this post the three ghosts of Christmas Songs Past, Present and Future will pay you a visit tonight! :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. awww did u ever see my recent 'Unopened Gifts' post. I talked abt Chrissy carols there :) and I listed my top songs, some of which r ur pet hates LOL!

    **I'll be Home for Christmas, makes me want to ingest a bottle of pills and slide into a warm bubble bath with a plugged in toaster

    LOL!



    3 that I love:

    1.White Christmas by Bing Crosby
    2.Do they know it's Christmas by Band Aid
    3.Silent Night by Frank Sinatra

    and many more...


    3 that I hate:

    None actually cos I just LOVE Christmas songs :)


    Keshi.
    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  16. askThe night santa went crazy- weird al yankovich

    "and he smiled and he said with a twinkle in his eye merry christmas to all now your all going to die"

    Hey santa clause you **** where's me f***ing bike - Kevin "bloody" wilson

    "I wrote you a f***ing letter i came to see you twice, you worn out geriatric fart you forgot my f***ing bike"

    Its hard to be a jew on christmas- Kyle (from south park)

    "Im a jew, i'd be merry but im hebrew"

    Not a huge fan of christmas, only the western world could comercialise words such as love hope and peace.... Working with Credit cards is really depressing at this time of year people racking up insane debt to impress people they probably dont even like.

    Bah Humbug

    Aidan

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  17. Anonymous9:25 PM

    And so this is Christmas.....John Lennon

    Honestly can't think of two more I like......they ALL suck!

    Oh, and "I want a mistress for christmas"......AC/DC

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh! Oh! Oh! And the 12 Days of Christmas by the Mackenzie Brothers! A Canadian classic! How can you not like that one? Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Try the Chieftains (Erse band)
    Christnas anthology - passable, non-Saccharine tunes, with guests.

    "Soylent Nite"
    "O, Holy Schite!"
    "Ah'll Be Hom(icidal) By XMas"

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous12:20 AM

    I'm going change the rules here a bit.

    I hate all Christmas music with a passion.

    I like none.

    I have to listen to them at work, and between the dumbass customers, and the music, I am forced to drink after every shift. I am now in fact.

    Having said that Toys R Us does sell a Xmas CD with an Ashlee Simpson song on it. I have yet to hear it, but it has potential simply because it is Ashlee.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous6:05 AM

    LOVE

    Manheim Steamroller's "Deck the Halls"

    Amy Grant's "Breath of Heaven"

    all the songs from Dr. Seuss's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

    HATE

    that "Santa Baby" song. horrible!

    "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"

    "Jingle Bells"

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yeah, Bing and David Bowie: I like the film of them singing that. It's difficult to tell who looks more ill - David at the peak of his cocaine addiction or Bing with only a short time left to live.

    Like quite a lot of Christmas songs, actually, although I was depressed to hear Michael Ball's version of Driving Home For Christmas in a store yesterday ... is Michael Ball known at all in Canada? If he isn't, you've had a lucky escape.

    The Ze Christmas album was pretty good, but I don't think it's ever been issued on CD. Oh, and the Phil Spector one of course.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ooooh Homey, bursting into flames with the Carpenters Christmas?? Wahooooo!

    Now that I have more than three seconds to respond, I get *detailed* about it, muahar!

    "Merry Christmas Darling" is just the BEST Carpenters Christmas song.

    If we want to get away from that delish duo, then I can mention Wayne Newton's "Christmas in Washington Square," from his 1960's album my mom always played on vinyl.

    Then we have the Burl Ives "Santa Claus" album which I LOVED too.

    Nowadays I get into Ella Fitzgerald's holiday music enough to play it in-between the Carpenters. I also have a very nice John Denver one I bought for my dad and never could give up. ;-) Ho ho ho, HE!

    word verification: imhtz (why yes, I am HOT, thank you.)

    ReplyDelete
  24. In true Fiesta Fashion and thoughts
    Feliz Navidad. Excuse spelling.

    Kinda fond of those chipmunks for a while... ALVINNNNNNNNNN

    Happy HOHO to you and yours Uncle Donny and Alicia.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Last week we turned on the radio and listened to a Vietnamese radio station. We heard an occasional mention of "defensive driving" and "Coca Cola". The kids really enjoyed listening to a language they did not understand.

    I love Christmas music, the classics especially. Bing Crosby's and David Bowie's Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth is beautiful. I love Brenda Lee and hate every modern Christmas song written from the 80's to present.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous2:53 PM

    Ok Donn, I'll add one.
    The Christians and the Pagans by Dar Williams. Good seasonal stuff.
    It tells the tale of a young pagan woman and her partner celebrating solstice. They visit her Christian uncle and family for Christmas dinner.
    "So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table
    Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able
    And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said
    Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses"
    Doesn't it give you the warm fuzzies?
    -Heather

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  27. haha-aidan -had forgotten about kevin bloody wilson.

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  28. Just don't make me listen to Billy Idol's Happy Holidays CD.

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  29. I still can't think of any specific song that I hate. I pretty much love them all. I have found myself recently listening to Burl Ives Christmas songs and I love them. But then again, this time of year, the kids rule. So nothing but a bunch of kiddy christmas songs are blasting my stereo.

    And did I mention they want to listen to them from sun up til sun down??? But I still love it!

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  30. Boney M are indeed fab... them I loooove!

    But the others you would not know. I tend to listen to flamenco Christmas songs... WOOH!

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  31. okay Donn, I'm sorry but I love Christmas music. Cheesey, or not. Chipmunks, or pop rock-ified- - not so much. I love the carols, but most of all, and I must play this CASSETTE tape whenever we put up the tree, is Kenny Rogers Christmas. I love the way he whines his way through, and comes in slightly flat on one of the notes in Christmas Everyday. I love twanging along to "Kentucky Homemade Christmas". Its just so very country and western and corny.
    I also love the german songs we snorted our way through in church when we were kids? Nun is e ehr shienen or something like that. It has so many gutteral words in it, that we could pretty much just cough and snort our way through..

    ahhh, Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  32. dinahmow,
    I would probably love the West Indian version..anything with steel drums and a little reggae is more than welcome in my brain.

    withinterland,
    This is far too tolerant for my liking..If the malls don't play Ramone's Christmas songs then I am not going.

    andrea,
    Great idea..I actually found Punk Rock Christmas 2! Now we're cookin' with gas.

    anna,
    What a mush! What is it about Christmas Songs that bring back all the warm fuzzies for people.
    I like Barry Manilow so I will have to check it out...and of course Bob & Doug, Good Day EH you hoser! Take Off!

    ms val,
    I don't mind 'Oh the weather outside is frightful'..for two reasons;
    1 The weather outside here is usually frightful and
    2 It reminds me of the movie DIEHARD which is my favorite Christmas Movie!

    Lee,
    Oh yes Boney M is still the gold standard in my books. I want to enjoy Lennon's song but it has been played 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 since it was released and UGH!

    awaiting,
    Nothing good can come from country and western music..NOTHING! I am sure that they sing about Santa gettin' drunk and Mrs Claus leavin' him in the trailor park and his sleigh gets stolen and Rudolph dies because a hillbilly neighbour shoots him and such...awful awful awful.

    keshtar,
    Oh you big mush pot. Since you love music so much I understand..there aren't that many great christmas dance tunes..some of the newer stuff but the rest are either polkas or waltzes.

    aidan,
    HUMBUGGER! Ha, Lonely Jew is an awesome tune..I have been listening to it for days.
    Since you are a bona fide Gen Yer you are expected to hold all of these societal conventions in utter contempt and show nothing but disdain for all of the contrived and phoney sentiment..bleh!
    On the other hand it does force people to examine the possibilities of creating a nicer world..atleast once a year...humans actually ponder the state of the world and try to imagine the concept of Peace On Earth.

    andamerrychristmastoyoutooblogger,
    Being trapped in a store playing that crap does ruin the mood...I went absolutely crazy when I was your age and I was working in a Record store, dating myself there, anyway I had to keep playing all of the new chistmas cover songs and they all sucked sooo bad..except for Boney M and Bob and Doug Mackenzie. Good Luck!

    ReplyDelete
  33. chaucer's bitch,
    I would like to hear Snoop Dogg and Fiddy Cent redo Mr Grinch
    "Yo Yo Yo is a mean
    mother%#&^% Mr Grinch
    ridin' dirty with all the
    mother^%@#$ing Ho Ho Hos"

    Betty,
    HA I never realised how Bowie's translucence and jittery demeanour would have been cocaine fueled..and it was just lucky for David that Bing didn't lose his ferocious temper and open a can of whoop-ass on his skinny little girlyman body...great insight.

    tidalgrrrl,
    I cannot scrub Burl Ives Holly Jolly Christmas from my brain..it is deeply ingrained as the defacto Christmas song thanks to the claymation version of rudolph and that abomidable snowman with the bad tooth..and Yukon Jack! AAEEEIIIE!

    Uncle Hodedoo,
    Right back atcha'..the chipmunks!
    We always played 33s at 45 when the mood called for a little levity but if only we had copywritten the process like the chipmunks. Have you ever heard Stairway to Heaven or Highway to Hell at 45?
    MFC!

    ces,
    You are an ubertraditionalist eh? Well I suppose that somethings shouldn't ever be tampered with but the starving CEOs of the Corporations need to eat too...
    gotta keep feeding the christmas machine.

    HATTER!
    Well since 99,9% of all Christmas stuff is Pagan that makes perfect sense. I get my warm fuzzies from Rum and Eggnog.

    lee,
    I simply must find out more about kevin bloody wilson! Is it atrocious?

    mj,
    Billy Idol and Christmas are actually a good combo..an angry snarling albino makes a perfect mascot...sort of like Elves gone Wild!

    awaiting,
    Then I won't spoil it for you. Enjoy it because there are only 9 more days until Christmas.

    miz bohemia,
    Flamenco Christmas..eeba eeba! I prefer the forbidden dance, the Lambada, at this very sexy time of year. Time to get OLE'd under the missletoe!

    joyce,
    You said Kenny and Rogers on my blog...HELLO! Kentucky Fried Christmas must be hilarious.
    Everything always sounds so frickin' angry in German...buy a vowel and loosen up!...
    it's hard to get the warm fuzzies when you're screamin'
    SCHWEIGEN NACKKKHHHTTT!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. They ponder peace on earth then buy a plastic souvineer to comemorate the moment.... The real problems are pondered then forgoten shortly after when the post xmas sales begin.

    You would not believe the ammount of debt ausies rack up over xmas, our debt to income ratio now sits at 150% (ie for every 10 dollars earnt we borrow 15) highest in the world. It is hard not to get a tad depressed..

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous7:27 PM

    Hate them bloody all.
    Every last bloody one of them.
    Hey! You people. Stop singing those bloody christmas songs. I'm trying to get some sleep. Hopefully 'til January 18th.
    Bing Bollocky Crosby. Bastard.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous7:30 PM

    Hate them bloody all.
    Every last bloody one of them.
    Hey! You people. Stop singing those bloody christmas songs. I'm trying to get some sleep. Hopefully 'til January 18th.
    Bing Bollocky Crosby. Bastard.

    ReplyDelete
  37. aidan,
    OUCH! Well that pretty much sums it up...robbing peter to pay paul etc...what a shallow guilt ridden lot we are..what if everybody gave the money that they wasted on gifts to charities that didn't waste 90 % of their income on administrative costs..like MADD.
    That would make quite a difference..if there are any organizations that somehow manage to actually spend most of the money that they solicit on actual projects instead of using that money to acquire MORE money!

    vicus scurra,
    Holy Humbuggery Batman!
    Well said old sport, I would expect no less from my favorite curmudgeon. Bing Bollocky Boy Bashing Crosby indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  38. ** big mush pot

    LOL hahaha yeah that I am!

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous6:56 AM

    Apart from looking at albums dealing with any kindof festivals, I hate wedding albums!

    Especially whe people force it down your throat with a running commentary all along.

    Oh GOD spare me!

    ReplyDelete
  40. kesh,
    You wear it well.

    gautami,
    HAHAHAHA! Oh like you have something better to do for the next 3 hours...it's nauseating as hell but if you wait 10 or 15 years and the bride starts telling you what she REALLY thinks about S0&SO then it can be a lot of fun.

    ReplyDelete
  41. hemm I dun listen to xmas songs coz i dun celebrate it, and we dont have Deepavali songs...so sad.

    But recently ive beeing watching that stupid song by Mariah Carey, and it sucks. I bet MJ would suck if he did a xmas song.

    Boney M would certainly be the best.

    ReplyDelete
  42. kesh,
    You're a schmoopy!

    ghosty,
    Boney M is the best of the bunch and poor little misunderstood Mariah's schmaltzy song is the best example of how commercial and vapid christmas has become...we let the noble but impossible message of peace on earth degenerate to piece on earth...

    in a few days it will thankfully be done with!! huzzah!

    ReplyDelete
  43. **schmoopy

    lol wuts that now?

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Seinfeld alert...it's a goofy term that people call their dates..you know that silly baby talk thing that couples make up..like a pet name..it is the disarming raised inflection and tone wittle wuvvy dovey thingamabob to make each other sound less threatening and that drives everyone else absolutely CRAZY!!!
    Jerry would say "you're a schmoopy"...and his date would say "No you're a schmoopy!"..and he'd say "No YOU'RE a schmoopy!"

    ReplyDelete
  45. i have to think of three of each? hhmmm, a few years ago a bunch of south african bands did a christmas album called "the santa sessions"
    the ones i like:
    just jinger's "have yourself a merry little christmas"
    tweak's "last christmas"
    sugardrive's "shoplifters of the world unite"
    there aren't really any i don't like... i do LOATHE "rudolph the rednosed reindeer" and "auld lang syne"

    ReplyDelete
  46. angel,
    'Shoplifters of the world unite'sounds like an awesome song..is it totally smartass inyerface sarcastic and funny?!
    Nobody knows any part of Auld Lang Syne after the third line....prolly 'cause nobody is sober when they hear it.

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  47. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  48. Three that I love:

    Baby, its cold outside (Mr. Manilow's version)

    The Hanukkah Song (Adam Sandler)

    Please Come Home for Christmas (Don Henley)


    Three that I hate:

    Anyone else's version of Baby its Cold Outside. You just can't mess with Mr. Manilow.

    Frosty the Snowman

    Little Drummer Boy

    There are lots more I love and lots more I hate, but these were the first that came to mind.

    ReplyDelete

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