Friday, August 29, 2008

Final Summer re-run of '08 (Long Weekend eh) and the ensuing exchange in the Comments (26/09/06) was prolly the most fun that I ever had Blogging ((sigh)) and would be a perfect place to stop.

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
IS WAY OUT OF LINE!

No really..I mean literally.
I was looking at the map of the USA and it occured to me that their state lines are all wonky. This causes unnecessary stress in these troubling times.
Americans prefer straight highways, straight people and straight borders!

America needs some 'quiet time' anyway.
A chance to stop and think about what they are doing to the world. So why not start by cleaning up those crazy ass borders?

First of all look at Alaska...
HEL-LO ! Any idiot can see that it is part of Canada! Now that the Cold War is over we don't need the 'Merkins eyeballing the Ruskies so give it back you weiners.
*Not that we need any more land but it is the principle of the matter.


Now the Western part of the USA isn't terrible but I do have a few suggestions...
Straighten out the bottom border of Washington, and the east side of Oregon..they should both be a little more rectangular.
California is totally screwing Nevada with that diagonal line..
Give Me a Break Montanee, ..form a nice rectangle and chop off the end ..there is nobody living there anyway..Idaho is gettin' totally pooched!.

Utah, wtf is that little cheat at the top there..fix that...
New Mexico you get to go straight down on the right side all the way to Old Mexico...
North Dakota/South Dakota/Nebraska/Coloradee and Kansas that's about as good as it is gonna get and nobody cares anyway....
Oklahoma go right ahead and cut yourself a BIGASS piece from Texas.
Minnesota/Iowa/Missouri/Arkeesaw..whatever.....

Louisiana, you little weasel, give Mississippi all of that shoreline at the Gulf of Mexico..Oh crap that means that you get New Orleans ..aren't you lucky?

The rest of the map looks like it was a hallucinagenic speed-drawing done by an amateur Gynecologist on Day 6 of giving up smoking!
In fact the Eastern State Lines were decided upon by seriously drunk dudes dressed in white wigs who had no frickin clue that there was still about 3 million square miles of land available over to the left! What a mess.
I could have pulled a better map out of my ass!

There, that is my suggestion and it seems simple enough.
I certainly hope that Canada gets Alaska back because that is just plain rude!



79 comments:

  1. Bah. Ever seen a map of Australia?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Re. Alaska - It would be my intense, almost sexual pleasure to let you have Alaska and Senator Ted Stevens along with it >B^D>

    His ancestors must have been te reason Russia sold it to us anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HE, please don't do anything that involves pleasuring Fronti.

    ReplyDelete
  4. stace,
    That sounds like a dare!
    If you Ozzies ever decide to actually go through with emancipation from the Monarchy then give me a call...I will fix your map...and perhaps we Canucks will be brave enough to try.

    fronty,
    Oh oh! Stevens and his Hulk ties are fair game..he does like his secrets. That guy has been in Gov't since Teddy Roosevelt was President!
    We don't want him either.

    mj,
    I can't help myself..I think that it's those quirky self portrait thingamabobs ...

    >B^D>

    His thingamabob is by far the most expressive and elaborate...
    I am so duh it took me a while to figure out what people were doing with those ;) because they are sideways and I have a hard time turning my monitor to see them..

    this is mine
    + +
    >
    Q

    get it..I am stickin' my tonque out!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ah, guy, we got Alaska from RUSSIA, not Canada. I think maybe YOU guys should explain how Russia got it's hands on that chunk of land to begin with, you wimps! I mean, there's like this BERING STRAIGHT seperating the two. What, you just let them paddle over and claim it? Sheesh!

    As far as the rest of the lower 48, yea, it's crazy, but if you REALLY want to see insanity at it's best, overlay this country with congressional disctrict lines, especially since Tom Delay started screwing everything up in a not-at-all transparent effort to get Republicans elected with no competetion. You'd think Timothy Leary drew those lines while experimenting with LSD.

    We could straighten out some rivers while we were at it..............

    ReplyDelete
  6. the michael,
    I was aware of that but the US 'has' it now and they should give it back!
    Apparently all of the District maps were designed by some guy name Gerry Mander.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm disgusted, appalled and slightly queasy. No man has EVER called my thingamabob expressive or elaborate, not even during my pre-enlistment physical in 1986 ..... ohhh, THAT thingamabob. Yeah, it is kinda cute, isn't it? >B8^D>

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope you guys get alska back too, then perhaps you can save the Wildlife Refuge from the evil grips of the oil monguls!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Loved this HE!
    You are FUNNY!

    ReplyDelete
  10. hmm, i meant oil moguls, not monguls! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Not that there is anything wrong with that...
    1986!
    You are a spring chicken..
    by 1986 I would have had a hard time passing a urine test never mind an army physical...
    sh*t now I have that damn Olivia Newton John song in my head

    I wanna get phys-i-cal
    phys-i-cal
    I wanna get a-ni-mal
    let me hear your bdy talk..
    Argkh!..
    sob..
    make it stop
    make it go away...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm having a picture now of Oil Mongols in my head...Eerily like Genghis Khan with a ten-gallon cowboy hat, riding a derrick, and whooping with a battle cry of "Chev...ronnnnnnnnnnnn!"

    ReplyDelete
  13. angela,
    We Canucks prefer to see our Woodland Caribou au natural (all ratty and flea bitten) rather than
    soaked in Texas Tea.

    ReplyDelete
  14. tidalgrrrl...lol, glad I could inspire you with my poor typing! :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. samuru911,
    It is funny because it is partially true! How do you get to emphasize comments with bold type anyway..I have always wanted to do that but I am too duh.

    tidal grrrl,
    Thank You for not taking offense to my Canadian Superiority Complex.
    But goshdarnit we can only take so much bullying before we pop our cork and get all crazy like this!.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Please mister please (didn't think I could dig up a worse ONJ comeback, didja? huh? huh?) . . . it was a navy officer candidate physical and I was 24. The recruiter didn't believe I hadn't used LSD, heroin or pot either. Fooled him . . . . XAAAAAAA NAAAAAAA DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well then, he certainly wasn't being an officer and a gentleman was he? So much for a life of Rum, Sodomy and the Lash!

    In the Navy
    Where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure, learn science and technology?
    Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true on the land or on the sea?
    Where can you learn to fly play in sports or skindive study oceanography?
    Sign up for the big band or sit in the grand stand when your team and others meet.

    In the Navy,
    yes you can sail the seven seas.
    In the Navy,
    yes you can put your mind at ease.
    In the Navy,
    come on now people, make a stand.
    In the Navy,
    can´t you see we need a hand.
    In the Navy,
    come on, protect the motherland.
    In the Navy,
    come on and join your fellow, man.
    In the Navy,
    come on, people, and make a stand.
    In the Navy, in the Navy.

    They want you! They want you! They want you as a new recruit!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yeah, yeah. Instead I drift into journalism and it's been "14 Years before the Masthead."

    Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life
    Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your wife
    And as he started to go she said, Billy, keep your head low
    Billy, don't be a hero, come back to me

    If we're gonna get nasty on this song thing, let's do it right. Any innocent women or children had best avoid this zone, arrrghhhhhh >B^D>

    ReplyDelete
  19. By the way, MJ, when's th elast time you've seen a man experience extreme sensual pleasure from the thought of GIVING away land? Huh? Huh? Betcha can't say, huh? >B^D>

    ReplyDelete
  20. HEY FRONTY

    CHECKMATE!

    Muskrat, Muskrat, candle light
    Doin' the town and doin' it right in the evenin'
    It's pretty pleasin'
    Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
    Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land
    And they shimmy, Sam is so skinny

    And they whirl and they twirl and they tango
    Singin' and jinglin' a jangle
    Float like the heavens above
    Looks like Muskrat Love

    Nibblin' on bacon
    Chewin' on cheese
    Sam says to Suzie
    Honey, would you please be my Mrs
    Suzie says, yes, with her kisses
    Now, he's ticklin' her fancy
    Rubbin' her toes
    Muzzle to muzzle
    Now anything goes as they wriggle
    Sue starts to giggle

    And they whirled and they twirled and they tango
    Singin' and jinglin' a jangle
    Floatin' like the heavens above
    Looks like muskrat love

    ReplyDelete
  21. TILT!
    TILT!
    TILT!
    WORST lyrics EVER!
    Good Luck.....

    ReplyDelete
  22. Excuse me I couldn't quite make that out...
    did I hear you say UNCLE!

    The silence is deafening.....

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you.

    Muskrat Love? Hmmmmm . . . . . give me a minute

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sorry, but that was just a check . . .


    New York girl, ooh-ooh-ooh

    Runnin' pretty, New York City girl
    Twenty-five, thirty-five
    Hello baby, New York City girl

    You grew up riding the subways
    Running with people
    Up in Harlem, down on Broadway
    You're no tramp
    But you're no lady
    Talkin' that street talk
    You're the heart and soul of New York City

    And love, love is just a passing word
    It's the thought you had in a taxi cab
    That got left on the curb
    When he dropped you off at East 83rd

    Oh-oh-oh (oh-oh-oh)
    You're a native New Yorker
    You should know the score by now
    (You should know by now)
    You're a native New Yorker

    New York girl, ooh-ooh-ooh

    Music plays, everyone's dancing closer and closer
    Making friends and finding lovers
    There you are lost in the shadows
    Searching for someone (searchin' for someone)
    To set you free from New York City

    And, whoa, where did all those yesterdays go
    When you still believed
    Love could really be like a Broadway show
    You are the star, win the applause

    Oh-oh-oh (oh-oh-oh)
    You're a native New Yorker
    No one opens the door
    For a native New Yorker

    (Runnin' pretty, New York City girl)
    Ooh-ooh-ooh
    Native, native, native New Yorker

    Where did all those yesterdays go
    When you still believed
    Love could really be like a Broadway show
    You are the star

    You're a native New Yorker
    You should know the score by now
    You're a native New Yorker

    You should know the score
    You should know the score by now
    You're a native New Yorker, oh-oh-oh
    (Native, native, native New Yorker)
    You're a native New Yorker

    Whoa, oh-ho-ho, you're a native New Yorker
    You should know the score
    (Native, native, native new Yorker)
    You're a native New Yorker

    What you waiting for, no one opens the door
    (You're a native New Yorker)
    For a native, for a native New Yorker

    ReplyDelete
  25. aaeeeyyyyiiieeee there is an odd-yssey I could do without

    how about a little Jim Stafford..
    Bill walked me to my door last night
    And he said, 'Before I go
    There's something about our love affair
    That I have a right to know
    I said, "Let's not stand out here like this
    What would the neighbors think
    Why don't we just...step inside
    And I'll fix us both a drink"

    My girl, Bill
    My, my, girl, Bill
    Can't say enough about the way I feel
    About my girl
    (My girl, my girl)
    My girl, Bill

    William's hands were shaking
    As he took his glass of wine
    And I could see we both felt the same
    When his eyes met mine
    I said, "'Who we love and why we love
    It's hard to understand
    So let's just sit here on the couch
    And face this, man to man"

    My girl, Bill
    My, my, girl, Bill
    Can't say enough about the way I feel
    About my girl
    (My girl, my girl)
    My girl Bill

    Bill, you know we just left her place
    And we both know what she said
    She doesn't want to see your face
    And she wishes you were dead
    Now, I know we both love her
    And I guess we always will
    But you're gonna have to find another
    'Cause she's my girl...Bill

    My girl, Bill
    My, my, girl, Bill
    Can't say enough about the way I feel
    About my girl
    (My girl, my girl)
    Talkin' 'bout my little girl
    My girl, Bill

    ReplyDelete
  26. My, this is getting ugly.

    In the year 2525
    If man is still alive
    If woman can survive
    They may find

    In the year 3535
    Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lie
    Everything you think, do and say
    Is in the pill you took today

    In the year 4545
    You ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes
    You won't find a thing to chew
    Nobody's gonna look at you

    In the year 5555
    Your arms hangin' limp at your sides
    Your legs got nothin' to do
    Some machine's doin' that for you

    In the year 6565
    You won't need no husband, won't need no wife
    You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
    From the bottom of a long glass tube

    In the year 7510
    If God's a-coming, He oughta make it by then
    Maybe He'll look around Himself and say
    "Guess it's time for the judgement day"

    In the year 8510
    God is gonna shake His mighty head
    He'll either say "I'm pleased where man has been"
    Or tear it down, and start again

    In the year 9595
    I'm kinda wonderin' if man is gonna be alive
    He's taken everything this old earth can give
    And he ain't put back nothing

    Now it's been ten thousand years
    Man has cried a billion tears
    For what, he never knew
    Now man's reign is through

    But through eternal night
    The twinkling of starlight
    So very far away

    ReplyDelete
  27. OK Fronty,
    HEY Within and I still listen to that one!
    Alright we'll call it even...my head is going to explode with all of this crap..I can't even remember what this post was about?
    OH yeah..
    I think that it would be fair to say that we have both 'crossed the line'and 'passed the boundaries' of good taste...deal?.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yeah, and I'm starting to ozze blood from ears and nose too.

    Let's engage in SBSLT I (Strategic Bad Song Limitation Talks) as soon as possible before we unleash somethingbad, reallly bad.

    I came within a hair of unleasing "Yummy Yummy Yummy" and the abyss yawned before me.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous3:23 pm

    HE

    In order to order the boundries of the States, and I think you've got a brilliant idea here, I suggest we not only give Canada Alaska (and yes, FE, Ted Stevens too), but we should give Arizona, California, New Mexico and Tejas back to Mexico. Hell, giv'em Nevada, buttugly and useless just like the other four.

    Nova Scotia, Labrador, New Brunswick, Newfoundland, Price Edward Island, that entire region, are now and have always been, part of New England. I hearby order you to give them back. You've got too much land anyway. Plus, all those provinces or territories or whatevers you've got out West are empty. You can fill them up with the evictees from our land in the US Maritimes.

    ReplyDelete
  30. frontier editor,

    ...and I almost sent Party All The Time by Eddie Murphy!
    How could we have been so careless.

    Now I know how relieved Khruschev and Kennedy must have felt after the Cuban Missile Crisis!

    ReplyDelete
  31. laura elizabeth,
    The Grand Banks have been completely emptied of fish..but now we have OIL in Hibernia.
    Hmmm actually most of the people from the Maritime Provinces have moved to Alberta...but OK
    Alaska for the Maritimes..
    oh, could you throw in Hawaii?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous3:43 pm

    No, but you can have Florida instead.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Da tovarisch. World socialism and world capitalism may be in stuggle, but we must think of the world first, Comrade.

    ReplyDelete
  34. laura elizabeth,
    F L A!
    Les Franco Canadiennes (snowbirds)already own FLA!
    What else have ya got?

    fronty,
    Da we do, and before someone calls the Police!
    wait for it...

    De Doo Doo Doo
    De Da Da Da
    Is all I want to say to you

    ReplyDelete
  35. Driven to tears
    Driven to tears

    >B^D>

    ReplyDelete
  36. You know that we'll never be invited to another blog, I hope you understand

    ReplyDelete
  37. and thank whoever that this didn't take place in the monkey sex post

    ReplyDelete
  38. Yep..way out of line. Yep indeed.

    Yep and I just skimmed through. So don't blame me for half-understanding.

    But I can't get enough of your spot. It keeps me coming back.

    Its like a drug.

    ReplyDelete
  39. straight is alot more normal than gay/bi LOL!

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  40. how the hell do school children ever remember all those states? I had enough trouble with the 7 here(wait a minute, it IS 7, I hope).

    ReplyDelete
  41. The clear solution to all the squibbly lines and the mouse-in-the-shadow-of-the-elephant phenomenon is for Canada to annex the entire U.S. and make it ours.

    We'd bunch three or four states together at a time and make them provinces, saving all that wasted money in 51 state bureaucracies.

    Then we'd dismantle the American industrial complex and its monstrous war economy, ship wackos like Terrell Owens and George W. to Peru to ride llamas and be done with it.

    ReplyDelete
  42. awaiting,
    If you understand half of anything that I write you should run, not walk, to the nearest mental health care professional.

    keshiburra,
    You know what I mean..my gross generalization suggests that 'merkins love things to be either right or wrong, left or right..they do not prefer (hate) the shades of grey like we do.

    naked nerd,
    You bet! I am a huge fan and I appreciate how your brain works.
    If you have followed the comments (except for Fronty and I in our Battle Royale to destroy each other with the worst songs in history) you will find that laura elizabeth is trying to pawn off Florida but won't give us Hawaii.
    Canada needs a HOT spot but not Florida.

    Who wants to sit on a beach where the average age of the gal in the yellow polka dot bikini is 87!

    lee,
    American school children don't seem to learn all 50 states...they learn about their state and the adjacent states that suck!
    I used to play Name the State Capital of _______Quiz with 'merkins in bars and lounges whenever I toured America.
    Free Drinks. Playing Name the Capital of OTHER Countries Quiz would have been just plain cruel.
    It is tough being the centre of the universe.

    within, without,
    Annex the USofA! I have no problem with that..what could possibly go wrong? How about this weekend?

    ReplyDelete
  43. No, this weekend isn't the right timing. Think of it like the housing market.

    It's a big house in a great location but it needs lots of work and it's overpriced.

    Need to wait for Bush to get out of office. Not even Fidel Castro would take the U.S. right now.

    They have to get out of Iraq, out of Afghanistan and reduce the terrorist threat Bush created.

    THEN we'll take 'em in.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hello! within,

    *in my best George Bush the First impression...

    "Wouldn't be prudent..not gonna happen"
    You buy when demand is low bonehead! Even Burkina Faso wouldn't throw in a 'stink bid' right now...we'll buy now and flip it to one of the 'STAN' countries.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Anonymous1:01 pm

    Always get that question at pub quizzes...
    And I say to myself: "Alaska, next time..."
    But when I ask her she doesn't know the answer!!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. cream,
    Ba-da-BING!
    Hey this stand up thing is really workin' for ya.

    ReplyDelete
  47. No-one mentioned Wyoming. It's looking prefectly square. No wonder no-one ever wants to go there.

    ReplyDelete
  48. cherrypie,
    Yes indeedy doo it is totally square.

    Wyoming is of course home to the invisible Vice President and lawyer shootin' maverick Dick 'duck' Cheney.
    Grizzly Bears still have the right to vote.

    'nuff said!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Of course demand is low, you pinhead, but the price is too high! Who taught you economics?

    OK, we can make 'em a lowball offer. If they take it, we're in. Just need the downpayment.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Yeah, what the hell happened to Utah? Someone took a chunk out of them, and I'd be pissed.

    I don't get Florida encroaching west at the top of the state either. What do they need that extra little bit for?

    I think we should take the whole west coast. We have more in common with those people than they do with the rest of their country. Plus it's warm there.

    ReplyDelete
  51. ofcourse I know wut u mean :) I was just using the term 'straight' to be funny but guess it didnt work :(

    Starts reading Chapter 2 of 'How to be funny without being dumb'....

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  52. eponymousblogger,
    Utah check
    Florida check

    The entire West Coast..very astute observation...You need to get all over that.

    keshtar,
    Not to worry I know exactly what you mean....ya silly!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
    gonna grab some afternoon delight.
    My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.
    Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.
    When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
    And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.

    Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

    Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
    looking forward to a little afternoon delight.
    Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
    and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting.

    Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

    Started out this morning feeling so polite
    I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
    But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
    a little afternoon delight.

    Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

    Please be waiting for me baby when I come around.
    We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down.

    Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Anonymous8:50 am

    On States Names

    There is a song I learned before first grade that taught me the names of the States, in alphabetical order and I've taught to my brothers kids. Then I taught them how to find all the States on the map. Then we invaded Canada and I taught them all the provinces. Then Mexico... South America... Europe... you get the picture. There's no excuse for adults not to know their geography. It just takes a crazy Aunt who finds grownups who don't know their geography very, very annoying.

    HE said: "Les Franco Canadiennes". I know, but you don't own it yet. Floridians just steal your money. Just think, all that swamp land and all those snakes and gators are now yours!

    As for Hawaii, no one gets that. Ya'll can have the western United States, all the way up to say... the Dakotas. But we still keep the Maritimes.

    Oh! And the Isle of Man. That's ours too.

    I might be willing to trade Hawaii for New Zealand.

    ReplyDelete
  55. mj,
    Oh Oh here we go again.

    Isn't it incredible how TACKY that AM 70s GOLD was?
    We did realise it at the time didn't we...
    What a bizarre universe we lived in back then...right after a song as cuel as Afternoon Delight the dj might play Layla or Frankenstein!
    The radio world was just starting to really fragment into demographic suicide...like an amoeba on crystal meth it has divided into so many pieces that there is nothing left...now it is dead...on to the satellite...

    are you sleeping yet mj? I was trying to distract you and bore you into a trance while my computer is systematically emptying your computer's music library ..3 2 1 DONE HA!

    ReplyDelete
  56. laura elizabeth,
    I generally avoid debating anything with someone who is obviously way smarter than I am so
    I completely agree with you on every point.
    I am so excited to find another soul who actually remained conscious during Geography class...
    Good for you for teaching the future generation the BASICS.

    My favorite 'merkin State Cap is the South Dakotan rendition of
    PIE-RRRRRRRE
    We canucks are just as bad, we pronounce Quebec cities in merkin..
    MUNT-REE-ALL...

    ReplyDelete
  57. HE, I always enjoy your posts but this one is a bit weird. Why are straight lines any better than strange squiggly ones? May I remind you that those state lines are etched around rivers,lakes, mountains, maybe a few huge malls...Why mess with that? Would perfect squares be any better?

    Another thing, everybody: Florida is not only the land of retired folks and swampland. We also have gorgeous beaches, great fishing, amazing coral reefs and we are frost-free YEAR ROUND. So what if there is an eighty-year-old grandma in a polka dot bikini sitting next to you at the beach???

    ReplyDelete
  58. And cut it out with the silly songs. I am still singing Paul Anka's Having my Baby from the other day...

    ReplyDelete
  59. carm,
    Rivers schmivers
    Lakes schmakes
    Mountains schmountains!

    It just looks messy and it is unfair. I think that they should just evenly divide the whole thing into 48 equal rectangles.
    Then it will look better.

    Just kidding about FLA. By the year 2013 there will be 39 other states with the same percentage of people over 65.
    As far as having to look at the 80 year old in a bikini....I apologise for my unsympathetic ageist remark.
    Now I will quit before other Floridians like the Michael catch wind of this.....

    ReplyDelete
  60. Play Layla! And not that soul-sapping lazy-ass acoustic version either.

    ReplyDelete
  61. mj,
    Thank You I HATE, I mean I do not PREFER that lazy ass version it sounds like ..aaaah yawn...it sounds liiiiike
    liiiike

    Z Z Z Z Z Z

    ReplyDelete
  62. HE, I don't envy you the job of messin with those states - those yanks get mighty funny about the smallest stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Yeah, you're so right! If I were you, I would offer my diplomat logic services to the UN. You would surely prevent many international incidents!

    Eventually I may introduce you to a friend of mine who has this idea: swapping places between Cuba and Israel. His theory is that many problems would disappear, lol. I don't know what the Cuban and Israeli population would think about it, lol. The world is like a jigsaw puzzle, haha. :)

    ReplyDelete
  64. TOM
    You got that right! I was watching the Democratic Convention and blown away by the spectacle of their political process...here in Canada we get a 30 day notice and then grudgingly go off to the ballot box to eenie meenie minee moe.

    If Obama doesn't win I think that Canader might need to just annex the whole damn thing.

    LENI
    The Cuba/Israel swap thingamabob is brilliant..aside from the notion that GOD gave the Isrealites that land, and this is just a hunch mind you, but they might dig their heels in a bit on that.

    It would be a lot less stressful living next to Jamaica. Yah Mon!

    ReplyDelete
  65. Let them have their strange outlines (I believe in the biscuit trade they're called "misshapes"). Canada is far superior in every way - and do you really want to (re)acquire a state that has become synonymous with desperate unwashed single men?

    ReplyDelete
  66. okay....im drunk and lost. where are we again? alaski?

    ReplyDelete
  67. Show me a country with straight county lines HE! UK's are all over the place too where surveyors stopped at various 'watering holes' along the way and weaved over the landscape as a result.

    Or hadn't got a long enough tape measure.

    ReplyDelete
  68. We will gladly give back Alaska on the condition that you also take back Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne!

    ReplyDelete
  69. LUCYFISHWIFE
    pssst..
    I'll let you in on a little secret..
    if Canada gets Alaska back, we'll flip it back to the Ruskies for a tidy profit.
    Pretty Cool eh?

    GHOSTAY
    If you're drunk and lost you'll fit in perfectly in Alaska.
    No worries mate.

    POET LAURA-EATE
    OK look at a map of Canada..
    look to the left of the middle..
    do you see a Province labelled Sasquatch-chewin'..
    SEE! Told Ya!!
    A perfect wreckedangle..and quite fitting for the most boring place in North America.

    EROSWINGS
    We may be a little slow but we're not crazy! No Deal!

    I should send you a copy of Dion's 'Titanicized' version of Skater Boy and Lavigne's 'punk' version of My Heart Will Go On'...

    waaaay totally awesome Dude

    ReplyDelete
  70. i wanna b like the into the wild guy... alaska looks so beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete
  71. Just where is the USA and Canada located?

    Are they new planets that we do not know about?

    Or asteroids just popping by once in a while?

    Mr Squiggle drew the maps..........

    ReplyDelete
  72. Donn d u want some of Queensland too? lol!


    **We will gladly give back Alaska on the condition that you also take back Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne

    haha I like that comment!


    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Oh my goodness, this is great energy, new state perimeters, I like this, and am thinking why any perimeters at all?

    Let it all hang loose. One big mass of jelly.

    Don-n-n-n-n you realise while you were crossing Canada horizontally, I did Oz vertically. I don't think it was 5000k's though, more like 3000.

    I'm still in another zone.

    Map

    ReplyDelete
  74. Ah, yes, but Alaska affords us the opportunity to hug you, my dear...muahahahahahha...:)

    ReplyDelete
  75. GHOSTAY
    Isn't that into the Wild uber depressing?
    I'd rather be Iron Man!
    Awesome movie!

    WHITESNAKE
    At times it feels like we're on another planet...and not in a good way.

    KESHTAR
    Sure we'll take Queensland...if you'll take Lavigne and Dion?

    SIENNA
    Our countries are so similar..Huge stretches of land and a small population...which is the way it should be but most countries are the opposite and they are paying dearly for it.

    GILETTE
    That is a lovely way to think about it...very sweet...
    NOW GIVE IT BACK!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Sure, Donnn...I am now officially giving Alaska back to you.

    Hopefully your government will stop the drilling and protect the environment a bit better than this impressive government has.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Anonymous4:06 am

    Hold up, chaps! If you repossess Alaska you risk getting a "free" Sarah Palin with it.

    ReplyDelete
  78. I just learned from Cindy McCain that Alaska is near Russia. The learning never stops even at my age.

    ReplyDelete

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