Monday, June 19, 2006


I find this far more interesting than you will but Hydrurga Leptonyx, Leopard Seals, are finally getting the recognition and the reputation that they deserve.

Were it not for my microscopic attention span I would love to write a 'Benchley type' thriller like JAWS using Leopard Seals as scary monsters lurking beneath the ice.

Perhaps Global Warming adherents would read it?

Imagine if you will, frozen in time, researching the shrinking Polar Cap at the South Pole, an international cast of characters are locked in a cold, ruthless world of murder, espionage, romance and intrigue.

Then one by one the humans start disappearing. da da da. da da da.

The United Nations is summoned for help.

They send in an elite platoon of Newfies, Canada's famous Seal Smackers, armed to the teeth with hakapiks (big sticks) to bludgeon the killer seals into the great hereafter. Have the Newfies finally met their match in the Leopard Seal? These aren't the hapless doe eyed pups of Labrador.

Sir Paul McCartney, horrified by the thought of missing another photo opportunity of him protecting marine mammals, flys out immediately.
Apparently McCartney is willing to risk his life to protect the rights of wild animals to kill humans.

In an ironic turn of events McCartney is killed by a legendary Walrus named coo coo g' joob which means 'I am He as You are He as You are Me'.* (Beatle reference)
You'll have to wait for my book to see how it ends!

Recent movies like March of the Penguins and Eight Below may finally propel this 'psychotic/prehistoric' looking mammal to the top of the scary movie monster A -list.

Adult male Leopard Seals can weigh 900 lbs. and measure 13ft. in length. Researchers in the Antarctic routinely reinforce inflatable boats to protect themselves from attacks.

Believe it or not Leopard seals have been documented stalking humans underwater.

Tragically in July of 2003, a British Marine Biologist, Kirsty Brown, was killed by a leopard seal while snorkeling in Antarctica.

In 1985 Gareth Wood was attacked while walking on thin ice.
The seal crashed through the ice, grabbed his leg and retreated only after colleagues of Mr. Wood clubbed it's head with ice picks!

The seal's favorite food is 'gwin, penguin. 'Leopards' can unzip 'gwins right out of their skin by shaking the captured bird inside-out.

I don't know about you, but from this moment in time, I for one, will never ever swim in the Antarctic unless either Aquaman
Prince Namor are there to protect me.


  1. Its amazing! How you take me on a journey within my mind and all over the world too. I am a thinking person and you make me use my think faculties even more.

    I travel too in your write ups flitting from one place to the other end!

    BTW, loved the teeth of the Seal...LOL!!

  2. DAMN! Had no idea! Glad to learn these new facts about the leopard seal! Yeah... you won't find me swimming in Antarctice either!

  3. OMG they sure sound scary! Never knew Seals could attack humans that way. Guess thats why I wasnt meant to be in the Antartic!


  4. gautami,
    I just think that Leopard Seals are so interesting. They look like a prehistoric marine mammal from another era.

    Tigers are even scarier.I am fascinated with park rangers in India wearing masks with faces painted on the back to try to'fool'the solitary Tiger.

    miz bohemia,
    Thank goodness that none of us enjoy sitting on ice flows sipping drinks and dangling our toes over the edge.Oooh could we?
    Our chances of encountering a Leopard Seal are nil. But those poor 'gwins.

    You are a lot closer to those scary bastards than any of us! Have a lash at a map and you are right next door!
    What-ev! Australian waters have plenty of other 'stuff' in the water.
    No worries eh? The oceans may be beautiful to visit but we bipedal homs are definitely better suited for living it up on good 'ol Terra Firma.

  5. dude! Canada is exterminating those seals like nobodies business. Its bad, even though the seals are breeding fast, but theyre killing the young ones for fur.

  6. ghost particle,
    Other end of the world, this is the South Pole. Penquins do not live in Canada.

    If Canada's world famous seal 'harvesters' were taking vicious Leopard Seals they sure as hell wouldn't be out there on the ice flows with big sticks!

  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  8. GeeYagHH! And Bloody Bleedin' Hell!
    Now if only you could get little bits of your bit not into the next-great-novel-if-only-it-were-to-be-penned but into Al-TheBore-Gore's new docu-flick it might have kept my microscopic attention span enthralled and focused instead of ensconced with eye lids fused.....

    But that's neither there nor here ...

    After having been buried under a mountain of paper work at my so-called 9-5, I dug myself out and plunged into your icy water.

    Beaaahhh. Dem’s some sceeery teeth you got der grand-leopard seal! And me? With no Navy Seal near by to do some Jim Dandy clubbin’ to save my foot? Ooooh nooooo.

    Count me in as another member of your krewe. I too shan't be dipping a dainty Lady finger or toe into those waters. (an' it's not just because I loath having to wear a wetsuit, let alone a drysuit!

    Grinningly ever yours -Lady

    BTW: Well Gawwwlly Geez Wiz Bang and Wow, Luvie! Jus' noticed your kind addition of lil' ol' moi to your blogroll. Thanks ever so much xxxooo

  9. lady wordsmith,
    Al Gore is makin' quite a 'splash' with his global warming flick. If the planet heats up enough the Leopard Seals won't be a problem!
    I just added a little Wikipedia link on Canada's black eye. I've seen an excellent documentary which portrayed both sides of the Seal Hunt. I am afraid that the method of harvesting is so visually disturbing that it can never be accepted.
    I am sure that Norway would miss all of the 'beater' pelts but try to explain seasonal employment opportunity without wincing to anyone watching a Harp seal pup getting 'harvested'.

  10. gautami,
    It just occurred to me that you thought that I created those teeth. Those are REAL! This isn't the cute little Harp Seal that Canadians club to death as the rest of the world recoils in horror.

    I wish it was a joke but this post was about picking on something your own size..

  11. Weird, wild, wacky -- but so wondrous, as usual.

    I like the goo-goo-ga-joob, I am He as you are He as you are Me reference in your Rantarctica.

    And Aquaman...

    Waiting for your Leopard Seal thriller too...

  12. Are you the Egg Man, then?

    I'm relieved those seals don't breed at our local nature reserve. There's only a small picket fence between 1000s of them and us. Might make for a rather unpleasant Sunday afternoon drive next December x

  13. ooooooooopzzzy :( Im so scared now!


  14. within,
    I knew that a Beatle-fan like yourself would appreciate that reference. I shall model my protagonist after you; handsome, steady as a rock, a real goofball; Dudley Dooright.

    I am the reptile egg before the chicken egg man! Wow I forgot that you lot still 'av a few creatures other than birds and hedgehogs left on the island.
    I wonder if foxes hide in amongst the seals to escape the mounted upper class with their 1000 foxhounds frantically chasing them through the estates in the countryside? Sorry, I'm sure that you're as bewildered by it as I am, but that sport?, is equal to our National black eye; seal pup thumping.

    The South Pole is the REAL land downunda! You Aussies don't need to go there to get nipped by something when you're out swimmin'.

    I hear that the men are quite aggressive and that Canadian fellas are very popular with the sheilas. I think that it's our sensitivity and politeness that make us so irresistible.

    and of course our modesty! hehe.

  15. homo, I know the teeth to be real.

    What gave you the idea otherwise?


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