HEY SPIKE WANNA CHASE SOME CATS?
When Canada eventually joins the United States I am certain that the Americans will decide to just shmush our Provinces into the existing Northern States.
I live in Manitoba which is directly north of Minnesota and North Dakota. So I would prefer a name like Mannisota or North Tobakota.
When every other country on the planet has finally acquired Tactical Nuclear Weapons, except for Haiti, Togo, Canada and Chad, we will be forced, by necessity, to join the States for protection.
Except of course Quebec, which will demand to be physically towed across the Atlantic and dropped off at France.
Once united, every expatriate American and Canadian will then be ordered home from every corner of the globe. Once everybody is back home we'll SLAM the door shut, bolt the lock, and put a chair under the door knob.
North America will become as safe as the Panic Room that Jody Foster and her daughter hid in, but way, way bigger!
Of course we'll need a new name for this ubercountry. The Americans will want to call it Super Duper America
or something goofy like that, but we Canucks, as an expression of our passive/aggressive nature, will demand, I mean politely suggest, that it be called something less goofy. If that's Ok?
Hey! Do you remember learning about PANGEA in geography class. C'mon, remember when all of the continents were bunched up together and then started breaking up at the end of the Triassic Period about 237 MYA. You don't remember that?
Anyway the new giant PANICGEA country would need a name that summons forth an image of unity and combined strength and Not Super Duper America.
How about something equally undignified like
Neener Neener Neener!
Why? Because if any other country was DUHmb enough to 'lob a couple of missiles our way', WE would nuke their dumb ass country back into the Triassic Period! Na na na poo poo!
Doesn't this whole ridiculous post remind you of that TV cartoon with the two dogs; Chester (little wimpy Canada) and Spike (big bully USA).
"Hey Spike wanna chase some cats today?
Huh Spike ya wanna? You're so big and strong and I'm so puny!"
"Ah Shaaaaadup!," Spike retorts as he smacks him across the head.