Wednesday, June 21, 2006


One simple fact of life can no longer be ignored and we do ourselves a great disservice ignoring the elephant in the room. Hollywood is stuck on Remakes and Sequels.

We now know for certain that Hollywood is dead set on providing two types of remakes;
nostalgic movies that performed well in the past or formulaic sequels, atleast until the last Baby Boomer dies sometime in December of 2065.

Since this is apparently non negotiable which Film or Sequel would you most like to see created and name your dream machine all-star cast.

I would redo Moby Dick because of the timeless message and themes contained within Melville's classic tale. That's bullsh*t!

I really just want to see how completely kick ass awesome Moby would be with modern CGI.
Yeah Baby! It would make JAWS look like Benji.

Maybe I could have a subliminal Neo-Eco twist for audiences in whaling countries like Japan, Norway and Iceland. No better make it blatant.
*note to self , get Al Gore and Michael Moore to rewrite the screenplay.

For the purists in the audience I would hire Ridley Scott to direct and cast Ian McKellen as Ahab.
For the ladies, George Clooney as Ishmael.
C'mon people this ain't no arthouse flower, ya gotta fill those seats!

All of the expendable doomed seamen extra roles would be beefed up and filled with old school-action guys, Stallone, Schwartzenegger, Willis, Snipes, Seagal, Van Damme, Norris, what a hoot!
C'mon, I want people to go see it.

Now you PICK A FLICK>...


  1. Im not a George Clooney fan and Im sick of Hollywood remakes :)


  2. keshi,
    That's a shame because remakes is on the menu for the next 60 years and George has already agreed to my demands. How 'bout Orlando then?

  3. Mmmm..... Orlando. Yum.

  4. What has happened to Hollywood? Very sad.

    Thx for always taking time to visit my bloggies!! Puts a smile on my face to see your grinning icon!!

    Big smooch,
    The Tart
    ; )

  5. Get with it!! They're making remakes of remakes of remakes. Where ya been? Alert the media!

    I'd volunteer to be one of those expendable doomed semen, it'd be my one big movie role. He was a sperm whale, wasn't he?

    I'd like to see a remake of the Classics Illustrated Robinson Crusoe, with George W. Bush in the lead role.

    Michael Moore and Al Gore could direct and send Bush to some lost island in Antartica and leave him for the Leopard seals.

  6. pamela,
    I would have thought that you might have some old fave to remake.
    You strike me as a Rom/Com kind of gal.

    Hollywood is a bust. I was once a HUGE movie fan and it is very distressing to see how the Corporate Mentality has killed the once mighty dream machine.

    I am a huge fan. You are soooo creative and I am constantly amazed at your productivity. Don't you ever sleep?

    Why you naughty litle man.

    I find this a lot more interesting than you will but...Sperm whales have the largest brain on earth. Our 3 pounder is a pipsqueak compared to the 20 lbs. of grey matter within the giant head of the mighty Sperm Whale. As the world's LARGEST carnivore the Sperm Whale battles and devours the mysterious Giant Squid in the crushing depths of the deep blue. OK I'll stop.

    I personally think that Dubya would be better on the small screen as Gilligan with that dufus hat cranked on his head and those ears stickin' out but hey it's your movie.

  7. Yeah, it's my movie. Damn Hollywood types. But I do kinda like the Gilligan thing...

    You can't throw out brain size factoids like that without offering perspective and context.

    Sperm whales also weigh a little more than we do, don't they? Have any stats that would compare our relative brain sizes given the difference in our body mass ratio indices in Mar del Plata, or something critically important like that?

    And isn't that just a myth about the sperm whales battling with the giant squids.

    Kinda like the pronunciation of the Himalayas as Him-ALL-ee-yuhs or whatever you and the Yeti profess?

  8. within,
    I didn't say anything about intelligence Spermies just happen to have the BIGGEST brain.
    It's my Blog and I can ramble on about whatever I want to so NYEH!

  9. But pound for pound, I thought you'd have that in the recesses somewhere but were just shy about sharing it...

    Could you look it up?

  10. within,
    A;we should be doing this on Gmail
    and B; NO!

  11. you said it bro. I dont even watch em nowaydas, i jst go to the store to pickup some art movies, or some anime and watch it my own darn pleasure. Except i wanna so much to watch superman. But movies nowadays are overated.


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