ENTERPAINMENT TONIGHT AFTER NIGHT AFTER NIGHT!
"Hi everybody I'm Mary Hart!"
I find Mary Hart's priaprismic smile disturbing. (Priaprism is a persistent, prolonged, painful erection.) Oh alright Americans love her.. she is just darling!
I'll just pick on the show then..start over...
I find Enterpainment Tonight disturbing.
The charade of pretending to be more than a 30 minute commercial is insulting. Behind the scenes movie producers and television actors pawn their souls in a faustian bid for air-time. In exchange for appearing on camera with a 3 second sound-bite, entertainers get their 5 second promotional clip played and replayed atleast 50 frickin times during the opening credits! Over and Over and Over and Over and Over...at the start of the show along with a voice over
"Hi everybody I'm Mary Hart!" and then in Slo-mo and then..Over and Over and Over and Over just before the show ends with a fascinating scoop on tonight's episode of JAG and a voice over
"Bye everybody I'm Mary Hart!"
ET doesn't shy away from tackling important issues either.
'People-in-the-know' can all sleep soundly tonight after ET reports that Celebutante de jour Paris(une nuit dans Paris) Hilton said....wait for it.... "that's hot" after she found her lost puppy-bling. Oh JOY! Oh RAPTURE!
"Hi everybody I'm Mary Hart"...cue card reads MARY HART change to serious smile..."Paris Hilton said 'that's hot'"..ever notice how every single second of each annoying clip is presented with the exact same contrived, inane, banter of one of their ubiquitous ET wannabes. Oh and I love it when one of the carbon copy guys says,"Hi everybody I'm Joe Schmo sitting in for Moe Schmo." Huh? Do they think that we'll change the channel if our favorite Schmo isn't there?
Marshall (the medium is the message)McLuhan, the celebrated Canadian Media Critic, could not have imagined in his wildest dreams how the unintended consequences of language, namely 23 Fn' years of
"Hi everybody I'm Mary Hart!", could 'hype-notise' us into either simultaneous mass consumption or spontaneous human combustion.
ET is not 'Extending Thoughts (from within my mind to others), it is simply Extending Spots(ads) from within Corporate America to YOU.
The E-TEDIUM is the MESSAGE!
It is the chance for YOU to live vicariously through any one of the carbon copied ET clones and sneaking into the lives of the most important people in our culture, in our world and in our solar system... a celebrity.
Wait it's an ET EXSCLUSIVE, "Hi everybody I'm Mary Hart ...only ET can bring you this breaking news"...cue card:MARY HART change to serious smile...."ET viewers will be sad to learn about the recent death"(3 days ago) "of a Hollywood Legend" (D-list 60s recluse) "whose career" (both episodes of Hee Haw) "brought laughter and joy" (sphincter clenching bewilderment)"to millions"(a third cousin of mine twice removed now serving 20 to life for animal husbandry).
Yessiree! ET is more than just chit-chat as news, it is more like Wannabes Gone Wild. A pornographic romp exposing out of control poseurs on a permanent spring break.WOOHOO! Need a little T and A? Then sit your Ass down, turn on the Boob tube and hum along...
"Hi everybody I'm Mary Hart!"
DA DEE DUM DUM DEE DUM.....