Friday, June 30, 2006

CANA la-di DA

On July 1st Canada celebrates 139 years of Confederation.
Beavers, Mounties, Doughnuts, Hockey, Whackin' Baby Seals, so many images come to mind. We Canucks don't care about the pursuit of happiness or ruling the free world. Nope.
We love hyphenation and moderation.
We always have a disclaimer, an OUT clause, in case we may have offended some other person. Speaking of out...

Poor Dubya is scratchin' his head tryin' to figure us out. What the ?

Mr President, what do you make of the two male Royal Canadian Mounted Policemen who are about to be wed today?

...Well them Brokeback Mounties would be in for a world of hurt if they was Texas Rangers...I am opposed to a lot of things....

Evilism, Taxing wealthy people, PBS..that stands for Public Bullsh*t heh heh..ah let's see.... I am against restricting the rights of Lobbyists, and
humusexualistical marriage...damn thats a hard word to spit out!


...I knew that the Mounties always gets their man ..heh heh...but I thought that it mean't sumpin' else. Damn look at the time..gotta git back to Crawford and do a little Bushwackin' heh heh..see y'all!



Yes Prime Minister Stephen Harper will have some 'splainin' to do this weekend. Harper has
put a muzzle on his Republicanesque Conservative Party members regarding the marriage of the gay RCMP officers. (We'll see how well that works out)

Prime Minister Stephen Harper is an Economist and has been described as an emotionally unavailable man in a grey suit.
Rumors of a successful charisma bypass persist.

He is however our leader and his blandness is the reason that he rose to the top of the heap of crazy right wingers and won the election.
The scandal ridden Liberal Party, which ran the country for the last 138 years of Confederation, had to be replaced for a while.
Harper was the lesser of the alternative poor choices.
The man who shakes hands with his kids when he tucks them into bed at night won because frankly we Canucks don't really care about politics as long as we're allowed to do whatever we want.

Canada Day celebrations include a financial handout from the federal government to all of the 10 Provinces and 3 Territories for the festive occasion.
The one province, Quebec, where only 50.1% of the inhabitants voted to stay Canadian in a referendum a few years back and decided against towing the province across the Atlantic Ocean and back to France,will get
ONE HALF of the entire budget.
Merci Mr. Harper..

The rest of Canada will hardly raise an eyebrow. Our national motto is
I have no problem with that.
We have come to expect such idiosyncratic inequality in the hope of appeasing the the gods of bilingualism over there in Upper and Lower Canada, Ontario and Quebec.
Here in Manitoba the Feds will shovel $180,000 our way for firecrackers and little maple leaf flags.
Quebec will receive $3.7 MILLION!
....whatever....I have no problem with that.

Congratulations to
Jason Tree and David Connors
on your wedding day!








oh yeah and I have no problem wishing
CANA la-di DA a very
Happy Birthday/Joyeux Anniversaire.

Our laid back complacency is our greatest strength and saving grace.
Everything in hyphenated moderation eh!

18 comments:

  1. I wonder what creative genius came up with the name "Canada Day."

    It's just one letter away from a type of ginger ale!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good point by Scubes...we coulda just followed the U.S.'s Independence Day and gone with Confederation Day.

    Is this is a JibJab hangover, HE?

    Hey -- I'm OK with it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonder post.

    He is however our leader and his blandness is the reason that he rose to the top of the heap of crazy right wingers and won the election.

    100% true. I think it was almost certain the Conservatives would win that election. It was a matter of who would lead the party.

    The man who shakes hands with his kids when he tucks them into bed at night

    Of all the Haper pics and videos, the one when he's dropping off his kids at school, and shakes his daughter's hand is my favorite. A true classic.

    ReplyDelete
  4. scubes,
    It must have been an overpriced Ad agency (you know where) choking on taxpayer loonies and tossing kickbacks to civil servants!

    Canada is anything but DRY on July 1st HIC!

    within,
    I guess it is..swing your arms from side to side with your elbows way out as you read along..

    ReplyDelete
  5. reyspoutine7:10 PM

    the main reason manitoba only got $180,000 (i.e. a lot of money) for canada dry celebrations is the federal folks in charge said, 'look, any province that has enough disposable cash laying around that they can pay $500,000 (a HELL of a lot of money) to a new york (as in new york, USA) ad agency for a fix up of their provincial symbol, only to come up with something they already had in the first place, does not need our help in filling the sky with light and loud noises.'

    and i, for one, have no problem with that.
    gravy and cheese ain't cheap you know.

    (oops! did a say bison? i meant...uh...spirited energy...y-yeah...that's it.....)

    ReplyDelete
  6. anonymousblogger,
    those poor kids..his daughter will rebel and run away from her private school and become a groupie for some punk band and his son will get back at him by becoming a lawyer for Greenpeace and joining the NDP. OUCH!

    reyspoutine,
    Good point! We are so Fn' rich here in the 'Tobe that we can hire those fancy schmancy NEW YORKERS to brand us... HUH?

    Spirited Energy is a great slogan...for Manitoba Hydro!

    ReplyDelete
  7. grumblist9:09 PM

    Say, are you sure that you folks up
    there are getting as gruntled as
    possible? I'm not detecting the same exultant sense of nationalistic bonhommie that's common down here, in our enjoyment
    of the whole constitutional thingy.
    Fireworks are really too risky- we're happier here,sticking with a healthy game of 'pin the target on the donkey', or whatever it's called. It seems like it ought to
    be painful, but the donkeys don't
    seem to have a problem with it.
    And let's have a little reverence,
    dammit! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. gruntlefish,
    Reverence for the USA or for the Canadian ideal of being all things to all people. Perhaps we are better off not having a national identity? We are the Jack Pine of all trades and the master of none.

    Being an autonomomous collective of sorts does allow for a great deal of political and sociological wiggle room. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, except Australia.

    I just wish that our government didn't waste so much money. Sound familiar?

    ReplyDelete
  9. grumblist12:33 AM

    Egads! Have I been misread?! If
    I've been elliptical in my remarks,
    then it may not be obvious that I reserve the bulk of any authentic deprecations to satisfy my OWN roaring appetite for abuse, rather
    than doling them out in egalitarian
    fashion ;-)
    I'm pretty impressed by the laid
    back demeanor you folks have up there. And though $180k is a lot of
    bottle rockets, you guys do a much
    better job of holding the leash on
    your elected officials. Down here,
    that's about what our Senate would
    piss away on their bar tab, while
    debating whether to go with the Blue pill, or the Red- never mind
    the "Rocket's red glare..." I'm hoping that you Canadians will sieze the initiative on worldwide
    miscegenation. This world's wound
    a little too tight, and it looks like the only way out is with hips bucking, and backs arched. Can we count on your continuing, ample contributions, while we're waiting for the little Purple pills to kick in, here?;-))
    Seriously, we've been sawing away at the idea of an identity, ANY identity (personal, regional, national, whatever) for decades, down here. Be glad that yours is as
    it is. Otherwise, who knows, you
    could find yourselves locked in protracted conflict with Iceland, or maybe the Aleutians, mere meat puppets with no clue or probable cause.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oooh! How cool am I to be hangin' with Canadians! Sizzlin'!

    Happy Canada Day all the way from Spain! I have nothing intelligent to add other than down with Bush and up with partyin' away!

    WOOH TO DA HOOH!

    ReplyDelete
  11. those poor kids..his daughter will rebel and run away from her private school and become a groupie for some punk band and his son will get back at him by becoming a lawyer for Greenpeace and joining the NDP. OUCH!

    LOL. That would be great.

    But how can we stay mad at Stephen. He's saving us 1% on our taxes now!!!
    100 trips to the dollar store, and we've saved a whole dollar.

    ReplyDelete
  12. tick tock tick tock tick tock....

    u heard the footsteps right :) Im bakkk! Hey thanks a ton for the lovely bday wishes mate! So sweet of ya!

    So how have ya been apart from being a proud Canadian? ;-)

    Missed u guys alot!
    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Forgive my ignorance please, but is gay mariage legal in Canada? One of our territories recently passed a law legalising it in the ACT (australian Capital Territory) it was then over ruled by our current gvernment. Unconstitutionaly!!!!

    Australians have a similar attitude to life, the "no worries" philosophy

    I think thats why i have like every canadian i have met.

    Aidan

    blogger made me type this
    fxamrrtt

    ReplyDelete
  14. canada....blame canada...blame canada!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. grumbly one,
    Iceland would kick our ass!
    We're much too polite to fight with others we simply assert our passive aggressive nature on anyone else. We just ignore them if they piss us off...then we apologise...but we're still mad...sorry.

    miz bohemia,
    Hola, I feel guilty pickin' on Dubya because he is such an easy mark. Unfortunately our guy is perfectly suited to our moderate interest in the running of the nation and welll...boring! Oh well atleast we don't have to obssess about politics here and we can concentrate on navel gazing. WooHoo!

    anonymousblogger,
    What a windfall. What are you gonna do with all of that dough?!
    I'm getting gum.

    keshi,
    Hey roo? It sounds like you had a great time..you deserve to have everybody fuss over you. Lots of cruising in harbie eh?
    Can't wait to see what you're thinkin' about at viva. Thanks for droppin' by for a lash...missed you too!

    aidan,
    Same sex marriage is tenuously available and will be challenged by the Conservatives once they muster a majority government which of course we will deny them.
    We Canucks don't feel that this issue is dangerous enough to destroy civilization as we know it.

    ghost particle
    You don't want to get on our bad side... we won't call you and we'll pretend that you don't even exist...so if you think that you can handle that sort of shunning..take your best shot dude!

    ReplyDelete
  16. too much fun at at the harbie indeed :) Thanks mate, it's so good to be back!

    Keshi.

    ReplyDelete
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