homo escapeons

Noon Hour Bible Class
An OUT TO LUNCH Idea for a Secular School System.


A simple lesson in democracy for the Child Evangelism Fellowship of Canada.
Be very careful what you wish for..it may come true.

This nooner is a no-no! The recent removal of your well intentioned lunchtime program in a Wolseley school may be a blessing in disguise. You're in the GRANOLA BELT BABY!

If all it takes is 25 parental signatures to greenlight other religious lunchtime programs you are in for a huge surprise. Forget about proselityzing other children with your conversion classes it's your kids that would be in danger.

There are more people in that part of town who choose to believe in the FORCE from Star Wars (not that there is anything wrong with that) than there are worried about missing the rapture.

Wolseley is a state of mind. It is the self appointed 'bastion of bohemia' located in the city of Winnipeg. If your program is allowed to exist then prepare yourself for the following equal opportunity community sponsored scenarios for the other kids at school.


Trouble is brewing in the 'Keirkegaarden' Class between the Agnostics and the Atheists...
Kids in Druid Dudes are arguing about who will ride the sacred ostrich through the flaming hoop on Equinox Day....

There's that fundraiser to build a miniature Stonehenge play structure... Who wouldn't want to sprinkle 'pretend' blood from a chicken foot on a voodoo doll of George Bush?...
Children in gas masks, members of the elitist Stick It To The Man Club, could hand out pamphlets on the West Nile Virus Conspiracy in their struggle against the Military/Industrial Complex....
Naked boys wearing Minotaur masks could wrestle bulls in the gym while the Animal Rights kids in their baby seal costumes hose each other down with red dye...
The janitor calls in sick every 2nd Tuesday because that's Hillbilly Snake Handlers day...
There seems to be a little tension between the Free Tibet kids and the Marxist Leninists and the incense has set off the fire alarms again...
The Skinnyheads from A is for Anarchy are burning history books in the parking lot again! (Good thing the Fire Department is already there to put out the incense fumes)...
What's this, a skirmish has broken out at the Kirpans for Kashmir event....

To top it all off the non-gender-specific-egalitarians-of-no-fixed-ideology rally was cancelled because one parent was offended by the name Thursday due to it's origin as a tribute to Thor and therefore a nordic-white-male-mysoginistic-thingamabob!

Apparently all of the other days of the week would be equally offensive to others and the aforementioned club is in jeopardy of losing it's members to the E is for Entropy Club. Oddly enough, some of the kids are interested in measuring the part of a system that is unavailable for doing any homework!

From Vegans to Pagans to Tolkien's Tokens, everybody would be allowed an 'Out-To-Lunch' program of their own, and rightly so.
That's why your well intentioned idea cannot exist. Sorry.