Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Eventually every word will be an ENGLISH word.
Congratulations, for the first time in your life you have just inadvertently pronounced Himalayas in accordance with the peeps who can actually see them.

Today I will blatantly cross the boundary of common sense and good taste, and reveal my thoughts regarding English, the first global language. How did a language that didn't exist when the Romans invaded Britain 2000 years ago develop into the unstoppable juggernaut that it is today?

English survived and thrived because it is an adaptable sponge-like linquistic black hole that devours, digests and transforms words from any other language into, well, English. There may be 2700 other tongues in use in the world but none of them can compete toe to toe with English. Eventually every word will become an English word!

From the Indo-European and Celtic roots, all subsequent linquistic invasions of Britain from Germanic/Viking (Angles/Saxons)and Norman(French), English has swallowed up the words of those who made contact with it.

Today the English Dictionary holds over 500,000 entries most of which are prisoners held hostage from outraged and distraught previous owners.

Two interesting moments in history intrigue me. First, King Alfred made a treaty with the Vikings and saved the fledgling language from becoming Norse in 878.
Secondly, after the infamous Battle of Hastings in 1066, when the Norman French invaded and conquered, King Harold became the last British Monarch that spoke English for nearly 300 years.
This is why, to this day, speaking French is considered la-de-da and sophisticated. Although the King's Court conversed en Francais, the everyday language was well established and intermarriage cemented its usage. By 1204 King John reclaimed England and the rest is history.

Aviation, Business, Computers, Entertainment all contribute to the ongoing advancement of English as the global language. More humans on the planet may speak Chinese but watch and see how this hydra handles Mandarin. It may well evolve into Changlish.

Regretably, language separates homo escapeons (modern man) like religion and nationality and the artifice of race. Language is like an invisible force field set up to mark a territory and weed out intruders. Who has not felt stupid or betrayed when others switch in mid converstion to talk to each other in a foreign tongue.

That being said, here in Canada we struggle with language rights and we even pay politicians to engage in the legal separation and disintegration of our country. Amazing! According to historians, Canada was originally a French Colony, despite the fact that the First Nations or First Asians, who arrived about 12,000 years earlier, take obvious offence with such claims.

(All countries on Earth are manufactered ideas and invisible from outer space.) Although victories by British Forces prevailed betwixt the rival claimants,the French Colonists were politely asked to stay by the Governor General and the culture and identity of the Quebecois flourished. Kudos to Mr. Trudeau for the billions of dollars spent on his in-your-face America look at how sophisticated and European we are in Canada compared to you boorish louts implementation of official Bilingualism.

Unfortunately, as in 1244, many Norman nobleman who held lands in both England and France were forced to declare allegiance to one or the other. The King of France declared that no man can competently serve two masters, he must either inseparably attach himself to 'Moi or le Roi' of England.

I know that our ideal brand or marketable image of Canada is supposed to be far beyond this discussion but we're not. The idea that Western Candians actually pay the salary of separatists in Ottawa is completely insulting. The idea that any Province could separate and still use our currency and infrastructure is ridiculous. If one goes,they all go.

While nobody in this politically correct world has the permission to find fault with the reality of the situation, the fact is that other language groups vastly outnumber Francophones in the other Provinces and it is therefore undemocratic and impractical.
Great idea, not feasible.

Don't get me wrong, many Canadians gleefully taunt 'uncaring' Americans and gloat in the perceived cosmopolitan supremecy of Bilingualism. French is after all is said and done, a beautiful, expressive, language. It still remains the la-de-da language of the world, think haute couture or savoir faire. You have to agree that nothing can compare to the sting of being insulted and dressed down in French!

By the same token what is more romantic than the silky resonance of la langue de l'amour. Oh sure it may not be as scary as German or as bewildering as the consonent free languages of the Orient but Ooh-la-la! Without a doubt French as a language, has and probably will continue to exert a tremendous prescence in the world.

English absorbed tens of thousands of words from the Lingua Franca. My point is and has been throughout my writing is that homo escapians need to rethink all of the things that separate and divide into groups whether they are linguistic or religious or political.

There is obvious merit in the argument that learning other languages is the highest form of accepting our various cultural differences. It is the time tested measuring stick that reveals that we humans really are all the same. No Duh! In the long run,the odds do not favor Canada remaining intact as a bastion of Bilingualism. Humans throughout the world historically kill each other over the right to be exclusive. Don't think for one second that Canada would escape an armed confrontation should this polite discussion about separation deteriorate further.

Democratically it is only fair in the current Politically Correct frame of mind that German, Tagalog, Hindi and others must also be elevated to an impossible equilibrium.

It was in the mythical tale from the book of Genesis that Yahweh intervened and everyone was confused by different languages to prevent them from achieving whatever they set their minds to accomplish.

Multi-ethno-utopianism is a slippery slope that negates the idea our ancestors held when they transplanted their families here. Immigrants arrived here to escape the animosity, strife and prejudice of the Old World.

The USA is curently feeling the effects of this dilemma with the rocket like trajectory of Spanish in the Southern States. To their credit the American Government(s) have maintained the premise that part of the unification process is a common language. This is our greatest difference with the States; you become an American and not a hyphenated Canadian. Ideal versus Idealist?

Whether you agree or disagree, the New World is supposed to be leading the way to a global village. Like it or not, English, the mongrol pup that once lay at our bedside, is now a feral adult long gone and out of our hands.The English hound is combing the moors this very night...looking for it's next victim....VOWooooool!

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