Midlife is really all aboot having medical procedures and avoiding episodes.
Apparently once you turn 55 the medical profession cannot wait to reel you in and try out every machine that goes 'ping!'.
During the last few months I've had a heart catheterization-coronary angiogram, a lovely 12 dart prostate biopsy, and a dreamy drug addled colonoscopy for good measure.
Since I went to such great lengths to overshare and document my vaswrecktomization-neutering here, today I am about to enjoy my first scrotal ultrasound, which would make a great name for a new wave-grunge band.
I am hopeful that it will not be a squishy ball-busting affair like a mammogram...and let's hope that I get an invisible resonance imaging technician with warm hands to gently guide me through this next awkward episode.
POST POSTING: Well the experience turned out quite different than I had imagined. As Fate would have it, my technician was a very attractive woman who led me in to a dimly lit room and then proceeded to cover my "swimsuit area" with warm soothing lotion, and then she gently rolled a soft scanner over and over and over my boys.
As you can imagine I was quite concerned about..popping a you know..
...however I was concentrating so hard on disassociating through mindless banter, that I inadvertently set what is probably a new Commonwealth record for turtling shrinkage!
Dammit I should make another appointment to restore my manly manlihood. Nothing my imagination, a few Viagra and a pump couldn't restore..... SCHWING!