Monday, November 30, 2009

Viagra For Ladies?

My guess is that there is zero demand for a PINK Viagra...
make that Vajzigra?

I don't believe the statistics regarding situational anorgasmia...pure poppycock!

Women never asked for Viagra to be invented and my guess is that they sure as hell don't want men thinking that they can unleash their inner Tiger with a Pink version!

Vajzigra will be marketed with a fancy-schmancy name that retains a familiarity..why?
Vajzigra is being made for men innit?

Men will buy it by the case if it meant that they never had to waste another dime on personal hygiene, buying flowers, wasting money at fancy restaurants, supporting the blood diamond trade, and suffering needlessly through another formulaic romantic comedy...
all shamelessly endured just to get laid!

But, what about the needs of women?

We live in a post-Cosmo world..

we're all adults here so let's be honest. 

The genders evolved on parallel tracks (some say universe) and both have developed a myriad of sexual strategies to screw with each others heads whilst ensuring that our species survived.

In a Lady's swimsuit area evolutionary forces have devised all sorts of defense mechanisms to kill spermies;
like operating a deadly acidic whatchamacallit, 
she can disguise fertility,
fake a headache OR the big "O",
and dip into the cervix to absorb her secret hunkier lover's fertilizer and have his progeny whilst technically operating under the security of a higher status male.

Men of course have evolved to counter these tactics by 
A: trying to kill all of the other males on the planet and failing that,
B: producing 3 types of sperminators, the blockers, killers, and a few swimmers, all done in order to eliminate any residual egg fertilizer that may have been deposited under clandestine circumstances while he was out.
C: the wenis is shaped like a plunger for a reason.
It's war.

However, we are here to talk about recreational sex so none of that really matters.

Our modern world is oversaturated with sex. For decades now the ad wizards on Madison Avenue have been manipulating the already unncomplicated male psychology...

usually by showing large breasted biologically accomodating women with HUGE photoshopped mid-orgasmic pupils exploding!

These images have one purpose, to make him believe that he needs to buy stuff to impress women before he can receive sexual favours.

Which unfortunately is pretty much true.

Men are brutish louts who over the course of their lifetime needlessly produce enough semen to drown an elephant. Most would be willing to inseminate almost anything with a pulse, and continue sperminating like suicidal salmon until their very last breath.

Ladies on the other hand are thoughtful, delicate, creatures with a limited number of eggs. Whilst engaged in the unpleasant act of frightfulness a proper woman will naturally close her eyes and try to think of England. Pfft.

Okay. Thanks to Cosmo and YouPorn, we all know that a woman's orgasmic demands can be met quite handiddly either by guilt-ridden manual pleasuring, or via the induction of fancy-schmancy, electronic cucumberesque, multi-ribbed, devices that keep going and  going and going.

Even now in the 21st Century many women trapped in the developing world and conservative states remain tragically unaware and enslaved by the notion that they need a partner to ring their bell.

Decades ago Feminist Germaine Greer made it perfectly clear that a society could be serviced by a single Y-Chromer. Sadly it would be possible for a single man to inseminate every female on the planet. 
Millions of men would gladly volunteer for such a postion as long as there were no televised sporting events scheduled.

Now I have exhausted your patience with re-asserting the scientificky factoid that multicellular organisms are created as default females, ergo, males are clearly mutants.

The very notion that the Pharmaceutical Giants feel the need to make billion$ designing a take-me-now-me-so-horny drug like Vajzigra, in lieu of, oh I don't know, curing that nasty restless leg syndrome or maybe even cancer?
Really? It isn't even a real disease?

This makes me wonder if it isn't time to let the next species have a chance to rule the world.



  1. Most would be willing to inseminate almost anything with a pulse

    Pop over to MJ's for proof that many men are happy to fuck mud. Now wouldn't that solve all our problems?

  2. "Oversaturated with sex"? These Canadian lasses must be very excitable. In these parts the most a lady will achieve is "mildly moist".

  3. Viagra: The Granny Molestation Drug

  4. You have become obsessed with sperm since your "procedure".

    Miss Lulu obviously has no patience with either one of us today.

  5. Wot - no foreplay.
    That's fine as long as it's Don Draper.
    Sorry MJ - join the queue.

  6. Bitch, Don Draper is MINE!

    I KNEW I should have spoken up!

  7. I tried to make it all the way through, even read the pictures, but got distracted by a toilet that wants cleaning....

  8. I wonder what the next ruling species will ruin the environment with? Of course we will never know as the current ruling species will have to take a "stage right" as dictated by tradition.

  9. Off topic...your fish are prettier than mine!

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