Monday, September 21, 2009


Does anyone else detect a subliminal message in this poster?
The Wiggles are coming out to Whateverpeg. I noticed this peculiar advert in the paper..hmm?

The WIGGLES are "the world's biggest preschool band" and also Australyer's top-earning entertainers?
Most of you are no doubt surprised that Austraylyer would have children's entertainers..afterall, back in May 0f 1976 I learned all about Australians from P.J. O'Rourke's brilliant Foreigners Around The World article in National Lampoon magazine.

Bear in mind this was written in the halcyon days of Satire years before Political Correctness ruined everything.

Racial Characteristics:

"Violently loud alcoholic roughnecks whose idea of fun is to throw up on your car.

The national sport is breaking furniture and the average daily consumption of beer in Sydney is ten and three quarters Imperial gallons for children under the age of nine.

"Making a Shambles" is required study in the primary schools and all
Australians are bilingual, speaking both English and Sheep.

Possibly as a result of their country's being upside down, the local dialect has over 400 terms for vomit.

Some of the peculiar forms of native wildlife have up to nine assholes.

The recent destruction of Darwin by a hurricane was actually a cover story for the regrettable coincidence of paydays on three separate sheep stations

Now to be fair O'Rourke was equally critical of us.

Racial Characteristics:

"Hard to tell a Canadian from an extremely boring regular white person unless he's dressed to go outdoors.

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
It is thought to resemble a sort of arctic Nebraska.

It's reported that Canadians keep pet French people.
If true, this is their only interesting trait.

At any rate, they are apparently able to train Frenchmen to play hockey, which is more than any European has ever been able to do

After reading that analysis, aren't you a bit surprised that Australyer even has children's entertainers?
Does that poster make you wonder what wiggling is?


  1. Oh, no! I'm leaving this one for Stace & Co. (Well, I just live here-I'm not one of the locals)

    But I can confirm that they haul in a fantastic truckload of cash. Also, a couple of years ago, there was a riot (yes, riot) at a Wiggles concert. Google probably knows about it.

    Jimmy Henson was light years ahead.

  2. i only ever smash furniture when i'm out of plates or cutlery to throw.

    and i think you're right, Mr Donnscapeon - that poster is obviously for their new Ghay Songs Album. it was only a matter of time before they came out of the closet.

  3. Yes there is a subliminal message. Something about coming round for tea and having banana sandwiches with a giraffe.
    I hope this helps.

  4. Ah, the Wiggles. I kid you not, our biggest export. My parents didn't let me have beer when I was under nine - it was Southern Comfort instead :)

  5. Have you never heard of Rolf Harris?

    A riot at a Wiggles concert? Hell hath no fury like a Soccer-Mom burned by a ticket scalper!

    Thank You for stating the obvious and uttering our mutual deduction that the Wiggles are clearly declaring their adherence to the love that dares not utter it's name.
    I'd like to see them wiggle out of this one!

    I know that you are taking the high road here and being their "beard" but the lads will be far happier once they come out.

    Good Heavens. It's the 21st Century and we are all onboard..well except for half the US population, the entire Middle East and probably most of the world.

    Ha! I notice that you didn't put up much of an argument about his synopsis. I'm certain that most Aussies know someone who fits this description.

    The tie-me-Kangaroo-down sport dude? Of course I know who he is...and I also know why the "bugger" was tying down the Roo!

  7. How can you describe an Australian without using the word cricket?
    Otherwise P.J. O'Rourke's description is totally correct - both factually and politically.

  8. Oh, I do miss the kind of satire and parody found in the early editions of The National Lampoon.

  9. I haven't eaten a banana in YEARS...well, not IN PUBLIC, ANYWAY...

  10. I don't understand "The Wiggles"... I think kids entertainers should be kids!

  11. Tar and feathers to them. Or concrete shoes. Whatver makes them vanish. Forever.

  12. Having a 5-year-old sprog, I am already far too well acquainted with The Wiggles.

    And I have to say that they are nowhere near as flaming as The DoodleBops. Moe always pulls the rope, if you know what I mean.

  13. I am here so that I can leave in a huff! There!

  14. wiggles and bananas go together.

  15. Funny, but I expected crocodile wrestling and kangaroo boxing to be a daily routine for Aussies--in addition to surfing with sharks and keeping dingoes from eating their babies.

    I see what's wrong with that Wiggles poster. It's a fake! I'm sure the real Wiggles would be holding vegemite instead of bananas!

  16. Where I come from adults get nicked by the police when they wiggle at kiddies. Loved the O'Rourke stuff.

  17. After long time, am here to say "Hi!" Been away from blogging mostly. I think I better get back at it.

    I am dying to read all the missed posts here :)

    Hope you are well.

  18. I think you're just miffed they've done your show idea Donn, yeah it was with plastic sharks and bear suits not bananas but you'd still end up smashing the place up and having a lovely time - and they got there first.

    How are you gonna make a living now?

  19. i love the monkey man song, sugar, with petey's friend, kylie! xoxox

  20. KAZ
    I concur.
    Everything you need to know about Australyer can be gleaned from the movies. Judging from what I have seen in Crocodile Dundee and Australia. his synopsis is spot on.

    Mind you the Aussie Bloggers are all fabulous.

    X L
    The National Lampoon was my Bible and I was empowered by the courage of the writers to Stick It To The Man...and have fun doing it.

    m "hearing",
    what you are "saying".
    I think?

    Now there's a novel approach?
    Why are "children's entertainers" given so much slack? Aren't they just people who can't cut ii in "adult entertainment"

    At the very least there should be some sort of height restriction.

    Just to be clear, are you suggesting that we tar & feather Canadians and Austraians or the Wiggles?

    Don't get me started on the Doodlebops..I always thought that MOE was supposed to be Clay Aiken?

    Before you make it back to the HUFFington report my heartfelt
    apologywill be on your desk...screen.

  21. I heard that Clay Aiken auditioned for the role of "Moe," but was turned down because the producers thought he was too butch and threatening to be on a children's show.

  22. These "W ..." I can not pronounce it, I can not write it down, just make them go away.

  23. TUTI
    Wiggling bananas is just as fun now as it was back in high school.

    You mean Vegemite-not!
    It just doesn't have the same oomph!

    Really? And here I thought that I was on to the worst kept secret in Sydney.

    Here too but obviously you can wiggle at kids downunda?

    How was the witness protection program?

    I dunno? I guess that I'll just have to go back to the daily grind of pole dancing for rich widowed Cougars?

    I love the Rolling Stones Monkey's actually my fave :)
    I know that Pete would not tolerate any untoward reference about St Kylie so

    Indeed he was especially back then when he was still closeted.
    If I was invisible
    I already am


    I'm almost certain that somewhere in the world there is a punk band called the Iggles..
    named after Iggy Pop.

  24. Looks like they are breaking you in easy with that poster - it only goes down hill from there.

    The wiggles are - well... strange LOL

  25. Where is the Facebook post???? I have read it in my reader but it isn't here, I have a damn fine comment, but I might forget it by the morning.

    Strange indeed! I realise that this is all just having some fun and in very poor taste because I could care less if they are all ghey...
    unfortunately half of their audience would.

    I kept editing it because I need to be able to put it to memory and recite it on stage...I'm working on it.

  27. LOl, nothing like wyling away the time with pre schoolers singing "Fruit salad, yummy yummy!" Yep, I know all the words to the wiggles, thanks to my now 12 year old son Tomas.

  28. Shouldn't they be wearing lederhosen?

    Oh, I thought you said Austrians.

    I'd like to see more lederhosen on this blog nonetheless.

  29. Oh look… HERE’S some now!

    Copy and paste this if the link doesn’t work…

  30. lol.. I am SAVED! :)
    Rolling on..


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