HOW LONG I'LL LIVE
“One can survive everything nowadays,
except death,
and live down anything,
except a good reputation."
Oscar Wilde
How often do you think about DYING..
or assisting in the premature demise of somebody else?
HOMO ESCAPEONS: Welcome to an Autodidact's egregiously oversimplified pleonasmic emporium of hodge-podgery
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It's not about death so much as:
ReplyDeleteWhat if I die and someone breaks in to collect my dead stinking corpse and they find the house a mess. Best get cleaning.
I also had a conversation with my sister two weeks ago and told her that if I'm dead she has to get to my place first and hide my "toys". I don't want my parents to find those. Yeah, I'm a grown-ass 44 year old woman who doesn't want her parents to find her "toys". Sitting on my sister's back deck we made a pact that as soon as we know the other one is dead, we raid the dead ones house and throw away the toys.
Let's hope they are not evidence in our deaths.
It's not so much being dead that bothers me enough to think about it, it's being embarrassed in death that I think about all the time.
i think i need a toy before i die.
ReplyDeleteand i read every paragraph of your writing today, not that i didn't the last time.
I quite often fantasise about smacking Himself's head against a brick wall - does this count?
ReplyDeletelately, everyday, sugar. it might be due to my age and the fact that my mother died when she was barely 2 years older than i am right now...the MITM thinks i'm losing my mind. *sigh* xoxox
ReplyDeleteBut could you survive the salmon mousse?
ReplyDeleteDying, i think about often, as in *did i finish up all the stuff i need to do for my kids*. It's always all about the kids ya know. lol....
ReplyDeleteI think of assisting the premature demise of people often. I am very helpful and selfless like that.
Every day.
ReplyDeleteHow cheery am I?
:¬)
I thought about dying yesterday as the train pulled into the underground station.
ReplyDeleteI think about dying when I'm near the end of a cliff.
I think about dying when I'm crossing the road and some arsehole doesn't signal.
So I think about a violent death quite often. But I know when it comes it'll be peaceful and with my boots off.
All death aside, that's a killer blog banner!
ReplyDeleteEvery morning. So I always put on nice knickers.
ReplyDeleteSx
I wonder what my last blog post will be (assuming I don't know that I'm going to die that day).
ReplyDeleteBecause whatever I've posted that day is what folk are going to be looking at whenever they click on my blog from then on.
Love the new header! But I believe Africa itself has gone from Africa to "a-frickin mess" in far less than 100,000 years. But who knows, maybe it was that way before and that's why we got out. Not that America's any better (says she, not bitterly at all).
ReplyDeleteJust yesterday alone I thought about directly contributing to the violent demise of not one, but 6 different people. Mind you, normally I keep it toned down to 2 or 3. Yesterday was exceptional in that I had 2 drivers try to crash in to me, 1 driver try to sideswipe me, ran into 1 old neighbor, and then thought about The Ex and his white trash ho-bag.
What really cracks me up is when my psychiatrist asks me "Have you thought about hurting yourself or others?" at every visit. Just once I'd like to shout, "Well, DUH, why the frak do you think I'm here?!" I'm not there for the scintillating conversation, I tell ya.
As for myself carking it, I think about the pre-dying and the post-dying. I have a dread of nursing homes and a dread of not being cremated immediately and someone embalming me, yuck.
MJ!!! Blimey, that brought a tear to my eye.
ReplyDeleteSx
Well MJ, so let's hope your last day will not be a Frayday ...
ReplyDeleteMostly I just hope Aidan dies on duty so I'll get a massive payout from his life insurance!! Other than that, I hope I live long enough to see Elspeth grown and happy and independant.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOuuffff... never! Really, never! I always try to live the here and now!
ReplyDeleteBut I know I will die agnostic, lol (nice new header!)
How often do you think about DYING..
ReplyDeleteA lot more when I'm at a funeral or someone I know is injured or sick. Most days, I try to live each day as if it were my last.
...or assisting in the premature demise of somebody else?
With or without their consent? Because there have been some mofos I've fantasized about running over, except I'd hate to clean up all that gunk off my car afterwards.
I'd like to think that I'm brave enough to follow someone's wishes when they ask me to make that decision for them (power of attorney) when they become incapacitated in the course of injury or illness. I'd like to think they'd do the same for me.
I just hope that when I do it's not between courses.
ReplyDeleteLAURA
ReplyDeleteHA! I appreciate your candor. That is a bit-of-a-sticky-wicket. Don't forget to scrub your hard drive every night too.
TUTI
You have gone above and beyond the call of duty Tuti! Now if you could slog through one of my excruciatingly tedious essays.
ZIGGI
I suppose it depends on how HARD you smack him...personally I think that is inescapable because it's not easy living with mortals.
SAVANNAH
2 years! Relax...wait until you get closer :)
I've outlived my Father by 5 years..totally surprised.
ISTVANSKI
HA! I fully intend to bring my drink with me and drive after the Reaper...every time I say Reaper I hear that song..
da-nana-nana-nana
da-nana-nana-nana
more cowbell!!!
XMICHRA
I know what you mean...my Dad left while I was still in dire need of getting his foot up my ass.
MAPSTEW
Look on the bright side, it means that you are a sentient curious person..not like those other sods who merrily prance about and get caught off guard. My last words will be "No!"
GEOFF
My goal in LIFE is to die quickly, ideally it will also be painless and peaceful and in the Playboy Mansion.
SCARLET
ReplyDeleteSound advice, you just never know.
MJ
Leave me your password and I promise to publish some effusive, glowing, account of your brilliant existance.
FAT SPARROW
WOW!?
I would also hate to be prematurely cremated..what a drag.
By the time I've gone fuzzy the Government will have the Drive-Thru Crematoriums ready to get rid of all the doddering Baby Boomers.
I have been a really fun Dad and my kids love me to bits but business is business.
MAGO
Since what MJ fears most is having a posthumous Filthy Friday post in perpituity you know that's what is going to happen. I'd bet cash money on it.
STACE
I was deeply moved by your sentimental wish...you are an incurable Roomantic.
I suggest that you start telling Els your vision of the world now...and don't dumb it down..you'd be amazed at how much Babies can read between the lines :)
ANDREA
Really..you like it? I was trying to have some all encompassing introductory/reaffirming header with a dash of humour. I think that it sort of has the gist of what I am supposed to be doing out here.
LENI
Never ever? That is totally amazing to be in the moment like that...whenever I am in the moment a commercial about death intrudes and reminds me that I am driving.
MR E. SWINGS
I believe that you do live fully and intentionally. I've been to far too many funerals to say goodbye to schoolmates...it's terrible how you feel like you've pulled one over on the universe. Why did the Reaper pass over me?
I hope that our future Alien Insect Overlords arrive soon and annihilate all of the asshats..just dematerialise them or whatever. They certainly won't have time to listen to their pointless drivel and excessive whining. Gawd I wish they'd hurry up and get here.
HOLA AXE VICTIM
What "type" of courses?
Every day. Not that I'm worried about it.
ReplyDeleteXL
ReplyDeleteDon' worry,
be happy!