Wednesday, June 17, 2009

AREYOUGEDDON TO HEAVEN?



It wouldn't be Spring without finding a warm invitation to learn about the end of the world in the mailbox. This little piece of sunshine was left by the local grey haired, greyish hued people in the grey suits..I call them the Grey Dubyas .


I am usually home on Satudays when the Grey Dubyas drop by and for the past several years we've had playful discussions about how whack their theology is. I don't even bother mentioning all of the times that they predicted that the world would end..1914, 1925 and 1975, OOPS!

The greyish couple, who could be in their 50s, 70s, or 90s (it's impossible for me to tell) seem to enjoy my humorous approach to poking holes in every single bloody thing that they say. Why they keep coming back is beyond me but I admire their tenacity. The phrase masochism does come to mind.

Now sure back in the 80s when I was a Pentechostile smugly perched at the top-of-the-Christian-Fued-Chain I would have eaten their spiritual lunch. Now that I am but a simple Agnostic meandering about the sidelines of the Supernatural World, I realise that their spin isn't really any crazier than any other makebeology...
well maybe a little?



Some of you might be aware that this particular sect have a different "take" on the Bible than most of the other mainstreamers. It's all about market share now isn't it so you can't blame them for proselytizing...they're scared to death!

Personally I do have reservations about worshipping a Creator who designs an ever expanding Cosmos but forgets to add a few extra bleachers in Heaven for the people that he likes. D'OH!



I think their angle that there are only so many seats available in Heaven gives the message more of a sense of urgency don't you?



They even dreamed up an actual figure..144,000..and through some fancy schmancy decipherin' beyond my computational skills, when the sh*t goes down, these elite 144,000 get to go to heaven with Jesus, whom they believe is actually the Archangel Michael. ..
yes the dancing Angel that looks like John Travolta.



In a nutshell "all faithful Jehovah’s Witnesses not chosen to be among the 144,000 elite that go to heaven (those joining the after 1935) will spend eternity on earth. All other people on the earth will be destroyed at war of Armageddon here on earth." You can try to figure it out HERE :)




I don't know about you, but hearing the GOOD NEWS (Gospel) of the Grey Dubyas gives me the warm fuzzies all over. Nothing says Peace On Earth and GoodBye to Mankind like talking about the near-complete anihilation of our species during Armageddon.





I know that I sound like a broken record but what a wonderful world it would be if only the Rastafarians went door-to-door eh?

19 comments:

  1. I used to get my end of the world news from the Weekly World, to plan the End of the World parties. Those JWs are really persistent and I admire their dedication. But I have to say, Rastafarians would be more entertaining...I'd be willing to look at their paraphernalia.

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  2. Donn, the reason they keep coming back is because you talk to them. This marks you down on their records as 'a hopeful'.
    Great piece of work brother. May I take the liberty of using your blog to be a little outspoken here, and say 'don't they talk a load of old shit!'

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  3. They're probably right about armageddon tho - no doubt the human race will extinguish it self, it's collectively that dumb.

    You are very kind to keep talking to them, when they come here we tell them to go forth and multiply.

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  4. Check this out:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dW-bt_1LzY
    Bear with the rant at the start, it's quite good :)

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  5. I have always figured that once the Good people get Raptured I can pick thru their stuff.

    I remember a JW telling me none of her family shared her religion, and I honestly was not trying to be rude, but I asked her if she could not convince her own family, why she thought she could convince strangers. She said maybe she could not but it was her duty to try.
    ~Mary

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  6. They've never been very successful over here (this is still a catholic country). The good thing is they don't bother you too much (I had a bf who answered 'don't waste your time, I'm an atheist').

    I wish there were more door-to-door rastafarians playing some good music instead. The Bob Marley type, for instance. ;)

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  7. LOL,I just love the last picture :D HIHI!

    Have no harsh opinion on them but I don't like pushing people I do believe that everyone has the right to believe in what he/she wants and there would be less problem if we kept that for ourselves,it's about you and the divinity you pray or else.It should be private and not exposed for a yes or a no,and certainly not mixed with politics!You have to right to say what you believe in this is freedom of speech and expression but trying to push an convert people,this is a total different thing.My boyfriend's mother is one of them,she once told me:"read our bible if you want to be saved",I remain polite.But this is another mentality and age and i don't bother,we don't live close,that's fine,lol.

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  8. "It doesn't matter if we do this homework project anyway, the world is going to end in January," my JW friend told me in 1975. I ended up doing the homework and so did she, just to be on the safe side, no doubt.

    I don't even bother to open the door to them anymore. You can always identify them because they travel around in pairs and tend to wear long black coats. Perhaps they should think up a more cunning disguise to catch people out!

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  9. I have zero tolerance for JW. I used to feel bad and would listen. Now I open the door and so don't come back and then shut said door.

    Its not even that I think they are bad people I just dont care nor do I want to here thoughts on other peoples religion.

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  10. I would like to hear you speaking in tongues and watch you handle snakes and roll around in the aisles.

    I'd deposit a loonie in your coin slot for all of that.

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  11. As long as one of them "leaves behind" me a Power Mac with a gorgous 30 inch monitor, I'm all for the rapture.

    Who woulda thought that heaven is only about as big as a small city? Probably has something to do with paving streets with gold.......

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  12. Good gravy... its laughable!
    I'm not going to bother going into it, but I know in my heart that they REALLY have the wrong end of the stick.

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  13. JW's are against cremation because they need their dead bodies again when JC comes back and resurrects them... and that means...ZOMBIE PARTY PLANET, WOO-HOO!

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  14. The last time a couple of JWs came over I wasn't so nice to them because they woke my sleeping babies. I believe the phrase "Wtf is wrong with you?!" was part of my tirade. They haven't been back since.

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  15. i once said, thanks, i already know i'm going to hell! smiled and said buh bye! xoxox

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  16. I cannot help but wonder as we get closer to 2012 - the REAL end of the world, if we'll have all the crazies coming out in full force trying to get the free agents to join their team.

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  17. Answer the door naked...that always works!

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  18. i am not so polite nowadays. sympathetic? maybe. but not polite. i get angry pretty fast too. i need anger management. and i am off topic.

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