Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I am still sick.

I started feeling crappy about two days after I returned from my vacation in Mexico...that was a couple of weeks ago! 

Which coincidentally, was the exact same day that I had to go into a hospital (which is no easy task for a germophobe) for a prescheduled annual checkup. 

I think that I picked up some superbug Flu in that godforsaken germ factory!

If I did contract the latest END OF THE WORLD PANDEMIC MEXICAN FLU THAT IS GOING TO ERADICATE MANKIND AS WE KNOW IT  I would be the first case in my part of Canada...so far. We all know that one of these days a viral strain will morph into a global killer and take out millions...but this one? Not-so-much.

Either way, I feel terrible. I am draggin' my ass,  feeling sorry for myself and you know what? It's not even worth it to get sick anymore.

When you are young being sick was awesome! 
Your Mommy let you stay home from school and pampered you. 
You got to watch TV in your pyjamas, read comix, have a nap. 
Mommy would make your favorite lunch...it was f*cking heaven.

Well, that was then and this is now. 
I am not getting much *sympathy from my good-lady-wife...even though she who-never-gets-sick had to deal with this very same ailment! 
She admitted feeling "a bit off" for a few days. 
So where is all that empathy?

Ladies, this, is not some MAN COLD

this is like a MAN FLU and it's one million times worse! 

If... I.... do... somehow...
make it through the night... 

I'll try.... to get over.... and read....
 your blog..
must... save... others

((cough cough sniffle))

When your man is sick and the Reaper is knocking at the bloody door, why is it that you women express such utter revulsion at the mere suggestion of administering the miraculous healing powers of *sympathy you-know-what?   


  1. Hey Donn,
    Hope you feel better soon!

  2. Swine flu hit Donno OMG! ;-)

    Get well soon and no, NO SEX I mean!


  3. Get well, soon!

    Well, at least you didn't come back with Montezuma's revenge.

  4. oh Donnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!! you poor thing. . .

    *passes the Kleenex and some hot
    lemon and honey*

    . . .I was thinking about you and your recent vacation when I watched the news the other day

    at least you're not going to die, eh

    that has to be some consolation



  5. Well Mr Coppens, if you're up to thinking about that kind of sympathy then I reckon you might just have a little sniffle...

    Get well soon.

  6. Oh Donn let me at you with my healing hands.

    If you die I shall set up a blog to yer name, in fact I've all ready started as I know how much you like yer bacon.

  7. If you sneeze, please do so facing towards Russia. Much as we wish you well, and hope .... blah, blah, blah, we don't want any of your colonial germs over here, thank you very much.

  8. Oh shit!Hope you will be better soon and you aren't going to die but yeah you have chosen the right destination eh?No seriously,get well!And women wanting sex when men sick?Hell no!Have a nice rest!

  9. Well, if you will go hugging dolphins and wrestling pigs!

  10. it's because the men just go on and ON about it.

    blah blah, i'm coughing up blood blah blah!

    it just becomes so boring listening to it all!

    the coughing, the convulsions and loss of consciousness. lordy it's just so exhausting. i really feel for your wife. i hope you get better soon, for her sake.

  11. ...and you were worried about the plane crashing...

  12. If you're thinking about *that*, you're not deathly ill.... wuss.

    But feel better soon! :-)

  13. Got yourself a "I WENT TO MEXICO AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY SWINE 'FLU!!!" t-shirt yet?

  14. Lemme know how youre going don, I am at work right now and getting the low down on the Swine flu situation... I can forward you some stuff on it.
    Huggs and get better soon mate :)

  15. [puts on mask and latex gloves, just in case]

    If you went to Mexico and that's all you caught there, consider yourself lucky!

    Oh Hai Ponita!

  16. Eat some bacon. You'll feel much better.

    If your woman ain't giving you sympathy...you need a new woman.

    Seriously. Do you really have the Swine Flu? Hope you feel better or else they'll have to quarantine you. Here come the men in the hazmat suits...run! AHHHH!!!

  17. Are you sweaty and smelly?

    Are you covered in snot and sneezing every time anything/one moves?

    Do you have a *headache*?

    And you expect SYMPATHY???

    I maintain that the reason men think being ill is such a big deal is because they don't have to deal with PMT every month. It's like a week-long bout of direst swine flu 12 times a year for, what, 40 years? That's like having fear-for-your-life swine flu for 3360 days. That's like nine years. And there's a very select group of guys who find that cause for *sympathy*...

    So pull yourself together MAN. :p

    lv steph xx

    p.s. hope you get well soon. I send you virtual fruitbasket :)

  18. Now you know why I don't leave this country, especially to go South. I'm far South enough, tyvm!

    Damn glad you only picked up the mild, downgraded version of that thing. Last thing we need is you Canadians tripsying through our airports spreading disease and pestilence!

    Still glad you're OK though......

  19. Oh my word you poor, POOR man! Here, let me fluff your pillows for you. Would you like some warm lemon-honey tea, or maybe some chicken soup? How's your head? Do you need a pain killer maybe? Are you warm enough? Can I get you another blankie? Do you have enough tissues? Okay then. I'll pop round a little later again. Alright then. B-bye now.

  20. I'm on your side, Don.

    If I was your wife I'd be feeding you grapes and massaging your sore neck and re-puffing your pillow.

  21. holy crap. did you go back to the hospital and tell them to test your blood?? that shit is scarry. I mean, you probably just have hepititis... lol....

    And women ( especially those who have kids) feel no sympathy for the hubby because, well, it's like having a much larger more pathetic child in the house. You guys have zero points in the suck it up category. Pass a watermelon thru yer pee hole, then you can bitch about the sniffles. =P

  22. I'll add you to the list of complaints people have.

    It's true! Woman tend ta think we males never get sick and when it comes ta the only thing that will assist in curing our ails they withhold it.

    They probaly have shares in those tablet making places!

    Oh and if it is swine flu dont take any pills...... get some OINK ment!

  23. I definitely see a trend forming.

    fyi Ladies, we men are designed to absorb bone crushing blows and withstand artery severing wounds during recreational sporting events and armed conflicts, but apparently the only person on the entire planet who knows how to properly care for a gentleman suffering from the ManFlu is our Mommy!!

    Mother Nature knew damn well that if Men had PMS, given our predilection for acting upon our impulses, the human race would have been wiped out long ago.

    So we're virtually stuck in this impasse with our stalemate geddit?

  24. Awww... mommy!

    Mr Qinan is always tired,something bothers/aches, has an upset tummy, and an unbelievable repertoir of imaginary diseases.

    10 years ago, he got chicken pox and he was impossible -whining all the time about how miserable he was-. That lasted 3 weeks.

    From these days on, I got immune to his complains. So when he needs some sympathy and empathy, he calls mommy and sisters. They do a great job!

    The moral of this story is: don't complain in excess, or you'll end up like Peter and the wolf. ;)

  25. And last, but not least:
    i hope you get better (antivirals work against the swine flu).
    Luckily, it's not contagious in the net, lol.

    Seriously, I hope you get well soon!

  26. Sorry to hear you're feeling poorly, hunny. Hope it's better by now.

    But/and...just occurred to me...Wow. I wonder what it's like to have a man take care of me when I'm sick. Or do even one thing for me, for that matter. Does this even happen on this planet?

    Mind boggling idea...paradigm shift. I'm thinking elves and fairies would show up to make me tea first.

    But I mean, really...do men in other relationships actually do what you ask for from your wife for their flu-sick partners?

    Mine never have. Not even in labor. Not saying this bitterly, just "it is what it is" sorta thing. I no longer expect or anticipate any help so can't be disappointed.

  27. you went to cancun, you got the swine flu dude. shit, that sucks....

    but on a good note, as soon as you start feeling better and are not so contagious - which women get really paranoid about - maybe you'll finally get that sympathy *&^&%^ you've been waiting for!

    oh, probecito mijito - feel better and have a shot of tequila - it'll exorcise all of your ails....seriously!

  28. Get well soon. Doomsday wouldn't be the same without you.

  29. I think you needed a nurse STAT!

    Hope you feel better soon ;o)

  30. 'goddit'!

    **apparently the only person on the entire planet who knows how to properly care for a gentleman suffering from the ManFlu is our Mommy!!

    poor mummy then lol!


  31. Ah, hope you feel better soon. Surely it can't be the swine flu otherwise we'd have read about you in the papers?

    As to why 'man flu' attracts such derision, well any fule noes that it's because 'man flu' is really just a cold and not the influenza, Spanish or otherwise. And yes, having a cold is rotten, but not as rotten as the 'flu and certainly nothing to complain about.

    Tapadh leat!

  32. Kopentz, let's face it: Women are heartless monsters.

  33. Yes I've heard annual check-ups are hazardous to the health and lead to that phenomenon known as the 'worried well'. Providing you don't get all their bugs on the way out that is.

    Personally I avoid doctors like the plaque unless I really am dying (in which case they'd be even less use than usual).


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