Monday, March 23, 2009

LYIN' AROUND BEARLY PROTECTED!

Last night I had a viewing of LION & BEAR Feeding Frenzy SHOWS hosted by Chris Douglas on the Discovery Channel.














He sat in a plexiglass "predator shield" to watch Lions, Grizzly and Black Bears up close and personal. You can see more by clicking
HERE
& HERE .


It's actually pretty cool although at one point Chris realised (as I am sure most viewers did) that an 800 pound Griz could have easily popped that sucker open if it really wanted to. In both instances the Lions and the Bears gladly tore apart mannequins placed outside of his Predator Shield.














Some day I would love to travel to South Africa, California, or Australia, and see Great White Sharks from the safety of a cage...although a big shark could chew the ropes that fasten the cage to the boat but they are probably content to munch on the snacks being tossed in to lure them.





I think that it would be a super adrenalin rush to be eyeball to eyeball with any of these large predators. Primal Fear! It would make sense to start in my own backyard and fly up to Northern Manitoba and see the Polar Bears...
but not in some flimsy school bus like this!



I would have to be in a proper Tundra Buggy..
















and I would never EVER trust the so-called Bear-Proof suit designed by fellow Canadian Troy Hurtubise.


Troy survived a Grizzly attack in British Columbia and was later inspired by..
wait for it..
yep, the movie Robocop!

















On the Discovery program Chris also placed his predator shield inside of an ordinary van to show how easy it is for ordinary Black Bears to break into your vehicle..something to remember on a drive-thru Safari.

The Bears popped the windows and then proceeded to totally destroy the interior...which Wildlife Officials will tell you they'd do just to get at a stick of gum left on the dashboard.

Have you ever wanted to get intimate with a creature that wanted to eat you or chew on your bone?

46 comments:

  1. Great Whites actually don't like eating humans. Thats why they just take a bite or two and the go."Whoops"

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  2. SNAKE
    You're right, Whites are disappointed that we aren't fat little seals..especially we since we look like them from below when we're on a surfboard or in a black wet suit and wearing fins.

    Unfortunately, when we get a main artery severed and have a 30 lb chunk taken out of us, it's usually too late.

    Polar bears would kill you on sight and eat you, but when Grizzlies attack, they are usually protecting their territory, cubs, or a kill cache
    .

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  3. Well, not exactly sharks, grizzlies or polar bears, but I know a couple of humans who would be very happy to chew on my bone, LOL.

    Seriously, I really admire those brave naturalists who would do everything to intimate with fierce creatures... but I don't think you will ever see me in one of these plexiglas cages.

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  4. My bio-father lives way up in Gjoa Haven. we went polar bear seeing in one of those "tundra buggys".. we called it a megatracker. lol..

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  5. "Oh look, someone left behind a happy meal!" thought the lion.

    I'd love to do something like that. So far my adventures have been limited to alligators in gator alley (and no, you don't always have a fence between you!) And manatees.

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  6. If I get to visit Australia again, I will stay clear of the drop bears this time.

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  7. Old Knudsen's trouser snake once spat at me.

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  8. You said "chew on your bone".

    I have a lot of frogs in my garden, does that count?

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  9. LOL,who's that guy in Robocop?

    OMG!sharks,never I think there are the ones I fear the most along with Tyranosaurs!

    To answer the question:no,I'm cool right now...but thanks anyway :D

    LOL HoodChick,a happy meal!

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  10. It's only a matter of time before one of those guys gets eaten alive.

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  11. "Have you ever wanted to get intimate with a creature that wanted to eat you or chew on your bone?"

    Yes. And I did. I even married her. And she did.

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  12. No.

    (I would love a pet tiger, but only if I could train it to never, ever eat me. Ever.

    Not even a lick.

    Oh okay, licks are permitted.)

    (It's like the visiting the moon thing - only if there was a 100% certainty it wouldn't make me die.)

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  13. What's this fascination with placing oneself in harms way? I can observe any of these predators from the comfort and safety of my living room couch, and no, I do NOT need the adreneline rush that proceeds the rendering and subsequent digestion by a creature much more powerful, if not outright intelligent, than me. We evolved special abilities to NOT be that damn close to a predator, and I am damn well going to respect evolution and keep my very thin hide safe right where it is! The only communing with nature I am in any mood for is the perfectly safe variety, which is much more fun and alot less painful.

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  14. You said chew on your bone????


    Hmmm, sounds like a dirty thing to me!

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  15. Have you ever wanted to get intimate with a creature that wanted to eat you or chew on your bone?

    At the time, I didn't know I was dating them...but I survived.

    I'd rather not see a Great White shark or any shark outside the aquarium (or off the restaurant wall). I would like to see a man eating tiger or killer elephants--from the safety of helicopter or hot air balloon.

    I have been chased by a pack of wild dogs, though. And having been bitten a few times before, it was an adrenaline overdrive experience!

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  16. LENI
    Come on..everybody's doin' it?
    Cam you imagine all of those dormant instincts kicking into high gear..awakening senses lost in the mists of time. To feel the hot breath of your would be assassin..to see the eyes flickering in anticipation..licking it's chops..Grrrrr


    XMICHRA
    You DID! ShutUP! Was it cool? Can you believe how big they are? Did you know that they are modified Grizzlies..they gradually adapted to the environment and changed their diet. Apparently now biologists are seeing some Polar Bears reacquainting themselves with a more omnivorous menu..and they are still interbreeding in the areas where they overlap with Griz. So who knows they just might survive the melt.


    HAPPY MEAL CHICK
    HAHAHA! Yes we would be the toy that comes with the Happy Meal..and we wouldn't be too happy about it.
    Our spindly little bodies are about as nutritious as the McChicken beak bits...and we'd last about as long too..before we were broken.


    HAI XL
    YIKES! Drop Bears are scary eh? I heard that they are always grumpy because they have crappy diets..eucalyptus leaves are low in nutrition and they get a buzz off them...and when they come down they crash. They sure look cute though.

    H'EM JZAY
    I'm almost certain that if you sent him the dry cleaning bill that he would reimburse you. I know he paid for Monica Lewinsky's dress stains..unlike a certain President who won't be named.

    CIVUS ARRUCS
    Your obssession with frogs is becoming self evident and it has occurred to me that you are in need of some Great Blue Herons to cull your infrogstation.

    If you recall Mr. Ray Milland had one hell of a time with them in the movie Frogs. If you lived in Australia you could atleast have Cane Toads which excrete copious amounts of "killer" hallucinogenic froth on their backs that you can lick.

    Take a trip and never leave the garden.



    CANDIE
    You need to google that guy. He tested out his suit by having his buddies drive a truck into him, swing a huge log at him, and have some guys attack him with baseball bats.

    Apparently the achilles heel is the helmet which a bear can dislodge and then crush your skull. D'OH!
    Anyway the military is interested in his robocop idea so he'll probably be a billionaire someday.


    CITIZEN MONDO
    Ah like Timothy Treadwell..the surfer dude who lived unarmed with the Brown bears for 13 summers before being consumed. If he had a predator shield he'd still be around. Have you ever seen Grizzly Man? It is quite fascinating. I mean sure he was crazy but the resident Big Bears let him goof around for a long time. They're not big monsters but they are wild creatures and a transient male finally got him..the audio portion is on file..and his poor girlfriend died with him.


    JONAS
    Thank you for taking the bait Big Guy! I was hoping that the double entendre would not go to waste.

    By your tense of your "DID" I presume that you are no longer being preyed upon...and you lived to tell the tale. Well done.


    FAT HORSE
    Ouchy! Those BIG cats have rrrrough tongues that are designed to peel off skin and fur...you might want to change your answer.

    I would never be brave enough to go to the moon. I hate flying period. The only consolation is that I know that the pilot does not want to plummet to the very hard surface of the planet at maximum velocity..unless of course his life has turned to sh*t and he has nothing left to live for ((gulp)).

    Crap now I need to slip into the pilots lounge next week to see how happy the crew is. I shouldn't even be joking about this.


    THE
    You bring up some excellent points. It does seem ludicrous to roll the dice when you can sit back and enjoy the experience from the safety of your couch.
    However, look at how much you enjoy your yard buddies? It's not the same is it?

    I would probably fill my wetsuit long before I even got into a shark cage but I have seen it done a hundred times so I sort of know what to expect. I love the sound underwater..the negative buoyancy..frees the brain somehow...and you are out of your element but returning to the womb where all Life on Earth began.

    As for sitting in some plastic waiting for a 1000 pound bear to figure out that he just needs to slam the top down to win a prize HELL NO!

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  17. SERIOUS BLACK
    Welcome here..sit down, relax, you've travelled far. How did you find this tiny corner of the blogosphere? Were you googling bone chewing or predator shield?

    Yes, I suppose that it might be taken as a naughty reference and hopefully more will dare to play with it. Everything is always about sex you know, the rest is just conversation.


    MR. SWINGS
    A hot air balloon? What if it went down over a river full of Hippos? Which kill more people in Africa than any other large multicellular creature in Africa...the mosquito is the biggest killer of course.

    I would be scared sh*tless in a balloon..if it doesn't explode you drop like a bag of hammers and then it explodes. No way hosea!

    Chased by Dogs eh? I'll bet that got y'er heart pumpin. I always think of the movie Altered States..remember when he regresses and is being chased by his primal foe the PACK!? That was a cool movie..I should watch that again. Afterall it inspired the infamous A-HA video where he needs to slam against the wall to come back to his sweetie..
    taaaake-onnnnnn-meeeeee!

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  18. Bears & sharks aren't so scary - I have teenagers! Now THAT is scary!! Cool photos, love 'em.

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  19. My knucklehead did cage diving with great white sharks this past December, whilst Glugs and I watched from the boat. It was awesome for all of us.

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  20. Enuf of the bone jokes boys!

    I think it would pretty gross to be swallowed whole and alive by an anaconda

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  21. As one of my heroes (Crush from "Finding Nemo") says:

    Woah...SERious thrill issues, Man.

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  22. I've long wished to get see wolves in their habitats...

    ...and I could think of quite a number of uses for that predator shield, right here in NYC!

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  23. Elephants. I know they're not as traditionally scary as, say, tigers or bears or lions, but they're freaking massive and totally awe-inspiring; I still think it would be quite terrifying to have one approaching you with evil intent. Plus, I just love elephants.

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  24. "Have you ever wanted to get intimate with a creature that wanted to eat you or chew on your bone?"
    The missus has got me many a time.

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  25. Yes, I will stand inside a cage one day to protect myself from patient's who want to be violent to nurses. well, I hope it does not come to that..thank God for security.

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  26. Erm... but I'm scared of spiders, british house spiders...
    Sx

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  27. In a word, NO!
    When I was six I found myself alone, far from the house and barefoot, being stalked by a coyote not much smaller than I was. I knew better than running, but what to do? I was at the edge of a sweetcorn field and there wasn't any proper sticks just some sunflower stalks and clods of dirt. So I went to battle with those and lots of loud yelling. At first the coyote held his ground, but at the last moment tucked tail and loped off. That was as close to bone crunching fangs as I ever want to get.

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  28. No way!
    BTW balloons can not explode. I will never use an airplane again, but I would very much like to go ballooning. I see them start from my appartement ...

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  29. my sister was once bitten by a moose......

    sharks, sharks SHARKS!!! i am so incredibly fascinated by sharks that i wonder why i haven't already been chomped, other than the fact i have only been close to a nurse shark and that really doesn't count. be that as it may, a shark encounter in the wild would be indescribable, i fear. i would want to tell all my buddies and all i would be able to say was, "dude!!!!!!"

    although i have been bitten by my amazons on several occasions and thought i might die. especially the one on the septum of my nose - yeow!

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  30. really really. he used to own megatrackers, used for surveying and gem/mineral exploration.

    my husband saw a polar bear much closer than I. he lived in arviat (waaaay up there) and renuable resources had two "cubs" because a hunter shot the mother. He said they were right viscious...

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  31. I know a creature I would like to get intimate with and chew on... but that likely won't happen for a long time.

    However, when I lived in San Diego in the 90's, a friend of a friend was ocean kayaking. The surf was rough and she got bounced around quite a bit, including flipping over. She made it back to shore, a bit battered and with a cut on her cheek. Only on dry land did she discover a shark tooth sticking out of her cheek. It wasn't just the surf getting rough out there!

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  32. yes, i also married him and after he ate my heart out of my chest he strolled along for his next victim.

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  33. Having been a victim of animal attacks and that does not include my several failed marriages I would love to see these people mauled, malled and appalled by big soulless creatures because what kind of nut sits in a plastic box and attracts predators to them? there are more easy ways to win the Darwin award.

    I saw this documentary named Jurassic park once I think all animal lovers or just those who like them show see it.

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  34. Have you ever wanted to get intimate with a creature that wanted to eat you or chew on your bone?

    Absolutely not - I have no interst in losing a limb and/or becoming a paraplegic. But I do enjoy eating a wide variety of wierd foods and would love to go to Indonesia sometime and sample deep fried monkey toes eaten off the bone.

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  35. me bak me bak me bak, to read abt Donn's great white sharks, polar bears and Neanderthal stories ;-)

    I missed ya! I wont be as regular as b4, but Im here again :)


    Keshi.

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  36. SUGAR BEAR
    Welcome. My teenagers were all ridiculously well behaved especially compared to me. My theory was that if I was a "rascal" then I would use up all of the bad karma..and it worked!Who knew?

    ANGEL
    Were you worried? Did your motherly instincts go into high gear seeing that dark silhouette cruise by the cage with your scrumptious little progeny bobbing about inside?

    The only way I'll go in is if my oldest son comes with me..then I'll be forced to act as if I'm brave..and I can empty out the contents of my wetsuit later.
    .


    SARAH
    Oh c'mon now we're just havin' a little fun. Actually I don't think that an Anaconda is big enough to swallow an adult human..I suppose if it could crush the shoulders?

    There are gross YouTube videos of ignorant locals forcing Anacondas to purge their prey..ew..imagine having to wait to break down an entire pig's corpse...reptiles are gross!


    GILLETTE
    Crush was totally gnarly! I loved that whole concept of the Turtles surfing the current..that was brilliant.

    I wouldn't go in that plastic box near big bears..with my luck they would figure out how to push down on the top and get at the soft chewy gooey part inside..like a caramilk.


    LEAH
    Actually I would feel safe from Wolves..that would be cool..although Wolves aren't supposed to prey on humans..but they have...I still wouldn't test that theory without some 2" bulletproof plexiglass.

    If it weren't for those damn airholes (perfect for sticking the muzzle of a gun in) I would consider using it around humans. I was looking for a picture of those bird cages that attendents in asylums used to wear on their heads..like in Coppola's Dracula...those would be better for watching humans.


    STACE
    Elephants! Now you're talking 7,000 lbs of fury that could pop that cage like aluminum can!

    Have you ever seen the documentary on adolescent males that were transplanted to other areas without any big older Bulls around to show them the ropes..they started killing rhinos! They acted like a gang of thugs.


    Phants are so cool...they can also hear subsonic messages from miles away..I hate those ivory poachers who leave the carcass to rot..many African countries now have a shoot-to-kill-policy on the poachers.

    Speaking of HUGE...Why are some countries still whaling? Huge creatures need to be seen to be appreciated..they are living marvels.



    ISTVANSKI
    Oh dear! Please, do go on...

    Well you appear to be none the worse for it. I'm sure that you put up an admirable yet decidedly feeble defense.

    I don't suppose that there are many large, multicellular, carnivores loitering about your neighbourhood are there?


    CAZZIE
    That's just crazy-talk.

    A Nurse has an arsenal of magical sedatives and a mulititude of extremely painful procedures at their disposal. Anyone who is rude to the Nurses is a certifiable idiot! They obviously have no idea what could be inserted in areas of your body that you cannot even pronounce!
    :)

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  37. SCARLS
    I would be more afraid of Arachnids if I lived in Strilyer because they have those nasty buggers with serious venom.

    What is it that creeps you out..the legs? What about big dinner plate-sized fuzzy Tarantulas?


    LDAHL
    Wow what a smart little gal you were..I'm not sure if I would have held my composure that well?
    Running would have been the worst thing to do so either somebody taught you well or you have great instincts!

    That must have been pretty scary. While driving through Alberta last summer wehenver we spotted a Coy-yo-tay it would duck and cover..obviously the locals shoot them from their pickups. I was told that to shoot Coyotes you just had to wait for them to turn around and see if you're chasing them. Apparently they usually stop to look back and that is their undoing.


    MAGO
    I stand corrected but the cylinders can blow! We've had a few bad Ballooning incidents here in the last couple of years..I would NEVER go up in one.

    What do you mean you've quit using planes?


    ESA
    I've been fascinated by sharks for over 4 decades. I still jump in the ocean despite having watched hundreds of hours of documentaries. The cool thing is that when films like JAWS & Blue Water White Death came out in the 70s everybody still thought of sharks as if they were kraken-like monsters hellbent on eating us.

    In the past ten years the tone has changed and we now know that Asians slaughter tens of millions of sharks to make soup every year and sharks only kill about 7 people a year.

    Bitten by a Moose?


    XMICHRA
    Wow I would go stir crazy that far North! Polar Bears need to be opportunistic to survive living in a frozen desert..no wonder thay had to adapt to swimming to get at walrus and seals.

    I would love to have a megatracker so that I could give in to my road rage and just drive over the asshats that plague our roads. That would be uber-awesome!



    PONITA
    Seriously? She should have run out and bought a lottery ticket. I love kayaking but I wouldn't do it in certain parts of the world..especially around a sea lion rookerie..too flimsy..and it makes for an appealling silhouette from below.

    Were there other teeth embedded in the kayak?


    COMPULSIVELY
    Ouch! That hurts. Thank goodness that he is on to the next victim and you're not stuck trying to live a lie for the rest of your life. There isn't anyway to completely protect yourself is there? You put y'er money down and ya takes y'er chances


    AMIT
    Thanks for the invite. I thought that these were interesting and I expect to see them on the Darwin awards.

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  38. OLD KNUDEY-TOOTY
    When y'er right y'er right!
    They could have just phoned me and asked, "Hey Donn, do you think that Lions and Grizzly Bears would try to kill me if I sat beside a fresh carcass?"

    I would like to see a Jurassic Park episode in that plexiglass box on the island of Komodo! That would be cool watching those big buggers trying to eat them..as opposed to the scrawny little Japanese tourists that they usually nab..those cameras must be hard to digest?


    EMMA
    You are an intriguing gal...monkey toes? Seriously?

    I think that consuming anything that has 95% of my DNA is a little too close to cannibalism. What about the infamous Monkley Brain stickin' up in the middle of the table? Mmmmm..isn't that appealing.


    KESHIROO!!!
    I wondered if you would be able to stand being away from all of your cybermates?

    I'll be over for a lash in a jiffy.


    ZIGGI
    You're GAME eh!?
    How 'sporting' of you.

    Did MI5 find that bastard in the Rover yet?

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  39. The most dangerous animal in Tasmania is the Bulldog Ant (AKA Giant jack Jumpers) killing more people than any of the spiders, snakes or sharks that also live there

    I've been bitten by a Bulldog ant - three times

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  40. There were scrapes on her kayak but no other teeth other than the one in her cheek.

    I love your comment to Cazzie! Most people have absolutely no clue how much we nurses know about the human body and how to cause tons o' damage without actually killing someone... hehehehehe!

    But we are usually very caring people so you have to seriously piss us off to get that kind of a reaction.

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  41. I wouldn't mind getting in a cage (and have already been in one), but it wouldn't be to observe predatory animals.

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  42. ooh look kids ... it's canned human for tea! Give me a paw/fang opening this thing will you?

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  43. No chance, mate. I get the odd silverfish in my flat and frankly, their appearance disgusts me. As for sharks, bears, spiders and all that - no way, son. Not on your nelly.

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