INCLUDE ME OUT
Movie Mogul Samuel Goldwyn's famous malapropism would make an excellent motto for me in regards to wasting my time (and theirs) perusing the vast majority of the 70 Million Blogs out here. Don't get me wrong, I love variety and finding 2 new Bloggers to read every week is sheer delight.
Have you ever just clicked on the NEXT BLOG link at the top of the screen..
don't do it unless you are prepared to surf for a while!
Like the Ocean, most of the Blogosphere looks great from the Crow's Nest, but just below the surface it is quite empty of Living Creatures.
I just clicked through 30ish and found the following:
19 of the 30 (65%) are sparsely posted North American Family Blogs featuring plenty o' pictures of deleriously happy Newlyweds, adorable Pets, or reluctant participants at Family Gatherings where the snapshots of sourpussed rellies look like they are at a wake even though they are opening gifts in front of a Christmas tree.
No doubt most have prolly moved on to Facebook by now.
7 (24%) were glittery Tweenie girl sites (half in Spanish) all disasterstrously plasterred with doo-dads and what-nots and one-line postings about how cool Miley, Jonas Bros. and Britney are...their blog looks just like their bedroom..which is easy to figure out because they take an arm's length picture of themselves every day and post it. I am certain that their parental units have no idea that their little darling is out here chumming the water for cyber-creeps.
The boy version features stuff, I mean crap, about first-person-shooter Video-Games, toys, atleast one poster of Jessica Alba and several others displaying nekked chicks. Mommy and Daddy don't know about these blogs either.
3 (9%) the biggest surprise, was that there were so many Fundie Islamic blogaganda sites! One with a very inapropriate remark about what to do to Zionists which I tagged, and will prolly have a big juicy Fatwa stapled to my ass by morning. Honestly, some peoples' kids eh?
2 Poetry/Photography combos. Lots of pictures of Stars, Symbols, Seascapes, Squirrels, and Sunsets, very relaxing and well appointed...most likely to revisit and read.
Which brings me to the following summation..this little exercise made me insanely appreciative that all of YOU fantabulous cyberfolk that I follow (as best I can) are intelligent, funny, curious, free-thinking, open-minded, tolerant, and fearless and confident. I love it. How could I be so lucky?
Thank You.
No really.
THANK YOU!
Now if you can possibly manage the time add your link to Follow This Blog and then go add two NEW blogs to your site. It's the eaasiest way to keep track of your cybernauts...and MAN UP Lurkers!
What goes around comes around.
HOMO ESCAPEONS: Welcome to an Autodidact's egregiously oversimplified pleonasmic emporium of hodge-podgery
haha! you're so right in your summation of that link thing to the next blog.
ReplyDeletei like that you gave it a percentage too.
(a pie chart would have been better though)
i try to keep my content mostly nonsense, with a few really good photos thrown in for good measure. that's my gameplan, anyway.
i love your blog, Donn. plus you always take the time to write a great comment. as though you'd spent all night drafting ideas onto your little notepad to come up with the perfect comment. you're clever like that.
There are some scary people out there. May I stay here where I feel safe? A nice cup of decaf and an organic biscuit at around 3.00 p.m. please.
ReplyDeleteIt used to be claimed that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would, eventually, write the works of Shakespeare.
ReplyDeleteBlogging hasn't disproved this theory, but it has shown us what a very big thing infinity must be...
I'm grateful to you for wasting my time so constructively.
Oh, I live in mortal fear of clicking on the "Next Blog" link. The only time I've ever done it previously I managed to find a blog in which there were written descriptions and pictures of, ahem, family members who are VERY close to one another. I don't want to be on the sex offenders list.
ReplyDeleteIs it really true that large numbers of teenage girls are becoming fans of Bubber Miley? Steely Dan's cover of 'East St Louis Toodle-Oo' was always one of the highlights of Pretzel Logic for me.
ReplyDeleteone of my most fruitful "next blog"ging surfs (conducted about three years ago now, when perhaps there was a slightly smaller blogosphere?) eventually washed me up and deposited me - obviously totally by chance - at the blog of someone who commented on a blog I read on a daily basis
ReplyDeletea nice little case of a Hof random clustering, to which I have since become increasingly fond, I thought at the time. . .
I've done the 'next blog' thing a couple times, and am amazed at some of the vacuous stuff out there.... Seems to be lots of crafty stuff and recipes too, along with what you mentioned. And fashion... good gawd, there's a lot of people talking about what they wear!
ReplyDeleteI will stick to the group I have discovered, thanks. I do venture out on others' blog rolls to explore, and have expanded my horizons that way, but not using the 'next blog' thingy.
I have tried to see "next blog" a few times.. but it was really boring, like you said.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being our reader and thanks for writing this great blog :)
Only once or twice have I found a blog of interest to me on the "next blog"button. Mostly I find neww blogs when they leave a comment on mine or by follwoing back a comment on another blog I already read.
ReplyDeleteI have done it and like you found most bloggers wanting. Maybe I am a snob. You are too..LOL!
ReplyDeleteLately I am pretty selective, sticking to a few blogs and in my exalted circle.
There are a few, who are so bloated with their own imprtance that their own egoistic arrogance is not visible to them. They question my attitude, my motive, On top of it, they ask me to write the way they want it. I simply delete comments of such people who have nothing to offer in the way of constructive criticism of my work.
Well, I gotta rant somewhere. Why not here,Donn?!
What are you wearing, Ponita?
ReplyDeleteJust went and tried the next blog thing and when I finally found a blog that wasn’t in Portuguese, I found this…
ReplyDeletea sugar canister wearing a knitted baby hat.
You gotta admit, that’s something you don’t see every day.
Shall I continue with this exercise or have we seen enough?
I already follow you, dude, but my pic apparently is relagated to the basement where it is safely gagged and chained to the floor, lest it leap out at the guests and scream :Daddy can I EAT them?!?!"
ReplyDeleteEvery time I surf that next blog thing all I see are Taiwanese and Manga trainwrecks.
i will follow you
ReplyDeletefollow you wherever you may go.
wanna know why i suck up to you? because you're smart. and you make me feel good about myself to be in your association.
(now pay me five bucks for saying that.)
But lurking is what I do best :)
ReplyDeleteI'm always amused at what I find with random blog link buttons. Last time I found a pattern for vrocheting little hats for oranges and bananas.
You can't make up shit like that :)
I tried that next blog thing; and I found a spam blog! No, not a blog dedicated to that wonderful, miraculous luncheon meat known as Spam. Rather, it was just somebody advertising for all sorts of crap!
ReplyDeleteThankfully, your blog is like the tasty Spam treat! It's full of goodness with an indefinite shelf life and it's fed armies of readers!
I've done the next blog thing without any pleasant surprises, I link through the comments - that's how I came across you, and that was a nice surprise
ReplyDeletex
You're right, Donn, there's a lot of junk in the blogsphere, but luckily, with a bit of visiting and reading, you can make a nice bloglist -that's a precious advice that an old blogger who also comments here gave me when I started blogging-. Some of the blogs I read -among them, yours- can be traced back to his blog, parent tree that he is.
ReplyDeleteIt takes some time and effort, but luckily, there's more to blogging than family and teen's blogs, LOL.
I've done the next blog thing... it's a bit like gambling... you always hope that the next one will be a winner.
ReplyDeleteSx
Great research and observation! I remember back when there were fewer than one million blogs in existence... Seriously, I do.
ReplyDeleteI barely have time to read my faves (this blog's on my short list) anymore...far behind, am I.
I usually play Minesweeper when I'm bored. I admire your fortitude.
ReplyDeleteI did have the idea of clicking next blog and writing a review as a weekly post but yes they do make you appreciate the blogs you want to read.
ReplyDeleteI have insulted Mohamed and ragheads on numerous occasions and am still waiting for my Fatwa, maybe there is a waiting list.
I have found the Catholic fundies to be more violent.
Mistipurple: Five bucks?
ReplyDeleteHe only offered ME a toonie!
Knudsen: Get on that review idea and ride it.
MJ, shh. it was a toonie too. but we all know how short his memory is.
ReplyDelete"...their blog looks just like their bedroom..which is easy to figure out because they take an arm's length picture of themselves every day and post it"
ReplyDeleteGiggles! Luckily someone directed me to your blog. Sure glad I found ya.
Yep, there are probably more kiddies than their mommies realise heading into creepsville, via the web. As Vicus says "scary."
ReplyDeleteI've trimmed my reading list somewhat since I began blogging, but the old favourites are still worth the read. You know who you are!
PS Dubya has given our former PM a medal. I believe that should be spelled "meddle."
I know, it's a gorilla-with-type-writers epidemic!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKeshi.
I don't remember how I found you. I wonder if it was through the "next blog" thingy. Or did you find me?
ReplyDeletebtw Donn come n check out my Marriage-Biodata lol!
ReplyDeleteKeshi.
I LOVE the next blog thingie. The next blog thingie is the gateway to a wild and wonderful place which just might be the collective subconscious of the internet (if you believe the a-i entropy=genesis theory. which i kind of do.)
ReplyDeleteit is also kind of like that movie where the puppeteer guy finds that tiny little doorway under the desk in that building full of midgets, and it lead into tom sellecks brain?
or however that went.
PROJECTIVISTANISTA
ReplyDeleteI deeply regret not adding a pie chart or eating pie for that matter. I would like to stick with nonsense but the no-thought-goes-unvoiced program in my brain pretty much does whatever it wants to.
SCURRILOUS VICUNA
Please do.
I want all of my regulars to be regular.
GORDIE
HA Infinity must be waaaay bigger than BIG!
I have no doubt that the Chimps will come through with a finished project before 2011...and then the Orangutans will become the clergy and the Gorillas will take over the Army...and then we'll think what have you done you maniacs!
VIEWEE
Really? Three years ago there were about one third of the Blogs out here wasting valuable cyberspace.
I have a feeling that one day there will be a flashng memo on the screen that reads..
Sorry, No Vacancy.
Gawd I hope that Al Gore has a back-up plan.
PONITA
You know I didn't run into any cookery sites, although I have in the past. I'm almost certain that I would enjoy Nigella's?
No. THANK YOU!
ReplyDeleteYou just saved me like 6 hours of surfing the blogosphere!
BTW, I thoroughly enjoyed this post. I come back here often because you crack me up, oh, and you are also a free-thinking, openminded, tolerant, fearless and confident blogger. Really!
Just clicked Next Blog 30 times - only four were in English and 11 were in languages I didn't recognise, although the most interesting of the 30 was by a fella in Barcelona who did the blog as a cartoon - sadly I've lost the bloody link now.
ReplyDeleteOf the four, two were sugary 'family' blogs ("I love my life as a mommy and a wife"), one was a dismal attempt at film reviewing and the other a bloke from India who described himself - with a total absence of irony - as an "undercover creative marketing executive".
Hope this helps.
"undercover creative marketing executive"?
ReplyDeletethe mind boggles!
I can't remember how we met, Donn, but I don't care. It's not worth thinking about a time when I didn't know about you...
ReplyDeletesigh...
p.s. I tried the next blog thang when I first started equine obesity, but kept being directed to this blog in Spanish about Elvis. Became convinced we were the only bloggers in existence. Lonely times...
Dammit , I was just getting ready to post a pic of myself taken at arms length with a one linee enthusing about how cool Britney is.
ReplyDeleteAND NOW YOU SPOILED IT
***FLOUNCES OFF***
Well, you found Minx, and now me, so you are all set.
ReplyDeleteAbandon the "Next Blog" button forever!
Hi, Donn. Saw your comment on Inner Minx, and your "Man up, Lurkers" threat got to me...
Like you, not a single one of my regular blog reads fits any of these profiles.
ReplyDeleteTHANK GOD.
know exactly what you mean! lotta crap out there....boring *yawn* i can't take any more of this gibberish, self-promoting nonsense, picture-crazy, dear diary sh*t stuff anymore....please, spare us... make your 15 minutes at least enjoyable to read, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteHere is a good 'Next Blog' for y'all:
ReplyDeletehttp://historyofalcoholanddrugs.typepad.com/
Apparently I'm not keeping up with the latest fashion, cuz I'm not taking horse tranquillizer.
You admit it...you were a "blog-zombie" in search of bra-a-a-i-ins!
ReplyDelete:)))
Starved didn't you?
I really enjoy reading you.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right about that next blog thing.Fortunately,there are some very interesting blogs with people who have interesting things to say.I'm new and discovering.
Thank you very much to follow mine by the way,it's a surprise though.
:)
have not done the "next blog" trick in a while.
ReplyDeleteAm flattered silly that you still visit my sad little navel gazer and leave your witty paw print behind.
xx
Thanks for the travelogue! (the vicarious pleasure of reading about places I'll never visit...doesn't sound like I missed much!)
ReplyDeleteI tell you, the friggin lurkers drive me bo-nannas!!!
ReplyDeleteI am hesitant to add anyone to my read list 'coz its already too long... and lately I am battling a bit to keep up with my non-South African blog friends because I spend most of my spare time reading my SA friends, and then I have a boyfriend... LOL!!!
And I do love your work Donn...