Tuesday, November 18, 2008

To paraphrase R. M. Nixon;

This is the 469th time I have spoken to you from this Blog, where so many comments have been made that shaped the history of my story.

Each time I have done so to discuss with you some matter that I believe affected a modicum of interest.

In the past few weeks, since the beginning really, however, it has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough basis for rehashing this crap to justify continuing this format. I now believe that this phase of my Blogospherial purpose has been served, and there is no longer a need for the process to be prolonged.

To those who have read me during these past three years, to my family, my friends, to many others who joined in supporting my cause because they believed that it was sort of interesting, I will be ethernally grateful for your support.

And to those who have not felt able to give me your support, let me say I leave with no bitterness, bastards, toward those who have lurked, tossers, and not commented, wankers, because all of us, in the final analysis, have been concerned with finding shorter, more interesting crap.

I have done my very best in all..OK, most of the days since, to be true to the Blogger's Pledge...to be Charming and not Tedious, no, it was never, no, always..

Be brief-Be bright-Be GONE!

Therefore, effective immediately, I shall resign my duties as President of the What's HE goin' On & On & On About Now Club, and limit my crepuscular activities to commenting on your Blogs for the remainder of the month of November...

just another common tater.

This December I shall rise like a phoenis and begin anew.

Best Regards,
Mr. Coppens, HE, Homo Escapeons, Donnnnn, Prof. Plotzenheimer, Lord Tennisanyone.


  1. I get this a lot, I start to read an interesting/witty blog that has been around for years and then they quit.

    Tell me its not my fault, its not me its you. You love me but you aren't in love with me and how the fuck did you get those gurls to pose against a big picture of yer face?

  2. So you make a big fuss about the fact that you're going to be away, thanking your family, friends, your drama teacher who was the one teacher who really believed in you, your personal assistant, all the wonderful people at Universal Studios ... all of this because you're having a couple of weeks off??

    Attention whore, drama queen! Go and dry your eyes and fix your lipstick and get back to the blogging coal face like the rest of us!

  3. What Betty said. Yes. We won't miss you. Who are you anyway? This is the "crochet your own sofa" blog isn't it?

  4. Fine. Desert us all. Or dessert us all, if you prefer... mmmm, ice cream. Anyway. See you in December :)

  5. Was it my monkey in a fez comment that finally sent you over the edge and my demanding a Capucin-o?

  6. Oh Donn ah
    You make me break up
    You make me break down, Donn ah
    Break down, Donn ah
    Break down
    You make me break up

    I'll keep waiting...

  7. Well, enjoy the break (rehab or plastic surgery for the non Hollywood non famous readers)! Are you vacationing for a week like WW?

    We look forward to your triumphant return in December, as if you're Santa Claus bearing gifts.

    And I've awarded you the Lemonade Award, for taking life's lemons and turning them into margaritas!

    We all need an avenue for mental masturbation or our heads will explode. However after three years of dry humping I'm getting chafed and I'm ready for the real thing.

    This old Drama Whore would like to thank you for the gentle pep talk and kind words.

    I'm not going anyf*ckingwhere but I need to reign in my horses and stop writing exhaustive chapter books.

    I left all of the dramatus familias in the Nixon speech for hyperbolic and added literarialistical grandiosity. This is more of an apology for being longwinded and tedious.

    I should think that a blog about crocheting mittens for kittens would keep me more focussed and help me stay on the track.

    When I finally catch that bloody rabbit on the rails I am going to chew the sh*t out of it!

    I scream, we all scream, for ice cream...dairy...can't eat it anymore. I am not desserting..deserting..going anywhere.

    I just need to make this thing more like me, shorter and more interesting.

    HA! No but it does raise a good point. Who the f*ck cares about the fact that more Capuchins are killed by other Capuchins than by predators?
    Seriously...I need to get off of my soapbox, stop pretending to be Michael Chrichton LITE, and start just having fun!

    HA! geddit.
    Just cleaning house and streamlining...lately I seem to forget that this is just blogging fer crissakes!

    That's excellent advice. I should drink Margaritas for an entire week and then get me 'ead out o' me arse.

    Anyhoo I'll be visiting..
    I just needed to stop rewriting WAR & PEACE and start having fun again.

  9. I for one, am very glad you are taking a hiatus. You were becoming too much of a competition for me and although I was sugary sweet here but underneath I was seething with rage. Now I can breath easy and wish for you to prolong your break. You get that, buster?!

    Meanwhile I expect comments on all those posts of mine, which you have ignored lately.

    Dec, did you say? OK!

  10. You nutcase! All Hail Gautami. Ur already in the system, there is not way out! All Hail Gautami. No stopping, now breaks! All Hail Gautami. How dare you leave, and leave us with no gossip to talk about. All Hail Gautami.

    Oh btw, can you send ur readers to mine for the remaining of November, and maybe they can click on the ads sometimes...

    hugs brothers, hope your break will b good and we will be awaiting for ur new avatar :)


  11. Oh my it's a hecatombe! Mrs Pouncer, me, you, is it the credit crunch? Is it Obamamania? Is it the air pressure? Have a good rest and come back soon.

  12. Well my dear friend, ever once in a while we all come up with a classic post and this is one of yours.

    Enjoy this moment for the are few and far between (469 posts just ta get a good one, how fucked is that?)

    I realise too that extracting this post would have been exremely taxing and I fully understand the need for a break.

    See ya at the Thanksgiving dinner this weekend! Whoops sorry split the goss aye...........Oh Bugga!

  13. 14 days for non payment of tax I guess...or maybe some minor affray... really you should drink less, you know what your doctor said.

  14. Damnandblast. Just as I find your blog you tell me you're off.
    Will just go and cry quietly to myself and then carry on blogging. I'm new, you see. I have no cynicism at all Yet.
    Have fun whatever you do.

  15. you can't even go quietly into the good night, can you?

  16. oh, and i'll be here like a loyal puppy awaiting your return.... u sadist, deserting, *&^^%%$$^&*(()*&(*&(*&^%##^%#%$&^T&*&^(*&)(*(&!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    oh, sorry, got carried away....wove you! :)

  17. Good for you Donnnnn!

    You've only just begun having fun (I know that's a reference from somewhere but can't for the life of me remember where).

    Have a good one and I can't wait for you to return all afresh.

  18. Couldn't you have waited until the big 5-0-0 to do this? I was so looking forward to that one.

    Anyway, Dec isn't that far off is it?

  19. Awww...the 'pillar is becomin' a butterfly.

    Thanks for all the smiles. I am kinda new to you so will just have to go through your archives for fun.

    Will be awaitin' your glorious return.

    In the meantime..have lots o' fun.

  20. So, um - you're taking 12 days off?

  21. Don't MAKE me release the hounds of hell!

    Take a deep breath, a small vacation if you must, then it's back to work, keeping ME, THE Michael, entertained. What, you thought you hade some OTHER purpose in life?


    You funny!

  22. Maybe I should go on holiday.
    I'm blogging about PMS again...
    How old is that?

    Will miss ya babe!

  23. WHAT???? You're leaving us? aaaakkkkk!!! What will we ever do to pass the time? Yeah, I know, I've been slacking but dammit....I just love your blog.

    Well, if you come around to your senses and realize JUST how much you really miss me AND everyone else, we'll all be here.

    So pop in every now and then and say hello...

    ciao my friend

  24. Just when I thought I'd found something new to read.

    But I don't blame you. I get darned tired of rehashing the same hash using different hashish. But then I never post unless I feel like it. Which is sometimes more rare than other times. And often just as rambley as this comment.

    I took the whole summer off. It was delightful. Enjoy your remainder of canadian november... however long that lasts.

  25. I can't take any more... What do you want? another flipping David Soul record?

    That is exactly what I needed to hear.
    It is ON Sistah!

    I know I know..you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!

    It's the system! I realise that this isn't Facebook or Twitter, it's the cult of the Amateur.

    Here we are churning out zany madcap half-truths with our hearts on our sleeves while the rest of the world stares blankly at their TVs & Newspapers..Zombies!

    We need to find a way to get through to them and save the world..
    or at the very least have a few laughs and fiddle while Rome burns?

    HA! Classic? Everyone prolly thinks that this is nothing more than the whinging antics of a delusional primadonna HAHAHA!

    Three years of the same old crap is long enough...I've delivered the same f*cking message 469 bloody times...they geddit.

    Now I need to find a way to just have FUN.

    Drink less? My gawd Man have you lost your senses?

    Remember the timeless admonishment that Captain Quint delivered to Chief Brody in Jaws?
    He said,"Rum ain't drinkin' Boy, it's survivin'"

    Not to worry this is a temporary reprieve whilst I extract my head from my arse.
    I am delighted to have made your acquaintance and I was moved by your accounting of poor Doris.

    Have you met
    Malc yet?

    Yes I am overly dramatic but sometimes you just need to PLOTZ in public and get it out of your system.
    Now that I have humiliated myself I can grovel back into the fold while my hubris is being digested and expelled..
    with any luck my head will pop out.

    OMG I think that's a Carpenters reference?
    Yeah I'm just going to bum around and concentrate on reading other people's crap, OOPS, I mean their Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius for a while.

    Chillaxin' Dude.

    My lovely doe eyed friend I have already turned 5-0 this will be numero cinquante et une...it's a whatever non-milestone.

    Now I get to squander my fifties for a decade until the big 60 at which point I should prolly be ready for the rubber room and attendants wearing protective birdcages on their heads.
    Oh Joy Oh Rapture.

    I have no intentions of wandering off too far and I will be visiting you so don't get your hopes up.

    Seriously what else am I going to do? Where else can I kvetch and whinge and pontificate..the only difference now is that I am going to try to limit my opining & whining...
    like that could happen?

    Talk about much ado about nothing eh? Sheesh. Unfortunately I cannot save the drama for my Mama because she doesn't read my blog (thank goodness) so I need to project upon you..
    perhaps the frustration at my failure to impose my will upon the rest of the world has manifested itself in this very public display of inapropriate behaviour.

    To answer your next question, Yes, I feel much better now that it's all over.

    Have no fear I am well aware that I was put on this Earth to entertain you.

    I am Mr Exhorting, Comforting and Encouraging. Sunshine will continue to be pumped up your wazoo..
    everythang, everythang is gonna be alright

    HA You're hilarious and I, like all men, never tire of learning more about PMS. Especially now that the courts have recognised that PMS'd Ladies have been rendered harmless for terminating, with extreme prejudice, anyone walking around with a penis who pissed them off.

    Having just returned from your hiatus you know what I'm talking about. Sometimes you need to step outside the batter's box and look around at the crowd...smell the hotdogs...watch the clouds roll by...scratch yourself...adjust your junk and spit out yer huge wad of chew before you get back in.

    Thanks for returning my call.
    I am very excited about your site..it is a topic near and dear to my greatest fear.
    I am going to be diggin' yer vault and asking you a lot of questions.

    Ramblin' Man would have been a great title for this Blog..D'OH!

    Now frankly Scarlet you know that I give a damn and I have already been to see you. I have no illusions about abandoning this forum or of listening to David Soul.
    The Don't Give Up On Us Baby reference was as entertaining as it was thoughtful and appreciated.
    xx oo

  29. *sigh* Very well then. Aufwiederzen. I may have to sing that goodbye song from The Sound of Music until you come back.

  30. I don't believe you. Or what Betty said. :) Seriously, I often wonder how long it takes you to research/write/post/rewrite/rearrange, etc. and am aamzed that you also manage to have a life and sleep. But we'll see what happens next. Looking forward to it!

  31. sheesh... you had me panicking there thinking you were taking a break or something!

  32. Hahaha! Good call.

    Come on over and accept your really kool award on my blog.

    Congratulations mate, you deserve it!

  33. I seem to have discovered a blog that isn't here - oh well.

  34. Well, Donn or Wotzizface or whoever you are today, enjoy your time off, kick back and relapse, haul out the lube and unchafe yourself... cuz I am looking forward to more fun and less cranial stimulation!

    Enjoy your repose here in Winterpeg and have fun relapsing at whatever pasttimes you enjoy. Just make sure you do come back, because the Cyberverse would be an emptier place without you if you don't. I always enjoy reading whatever you write, my friend!

  35. Erm, you do know that you can't light a cigar with a lava lamp, right??? What drugs were you on that day??? ;-)

  36. i was so afraid you were going to say you were quitting blogging i really yelled all right out loud. very loud. scared the dogs enough they went on a 15 minute barking spree

    i'm so glad you didn't cause my wonderful day to be ruined by the saddest news i could have received today~~one of my most smartest blogger was going to quit~~~scare me to death will ya

    enjoy yourself and i'll be waiting for ya when you get back or will be around as soon as i get 'round to it

    peace, love and well ya know

  37. oh crap! well...
    I will miss your egregious oversimplificationship!! But not for long I hope.

  38. Bugger and Sod it......


  39. . . truth is a mythical beast, like a phoenix, always rising from the ashes of the last one . .

  40. [missing you]already[/missing you]

  41. (blast!! now I'm humming these are a few of my favourite things from tSoM to try and cheer myself up)

  42. i'll pay you five bucks to continue blogging.

  43. mom says cookies' on the house.

  44. Now yer a tater just how bi-polar are you? yer just after cheap hits on yer profile as I get the e-mail notification and don't see the picture, damn yer as slimy as soaped up penis at a grease party ever consider the CIA? yes consider this recruitment.

    I'll be yer handler.

  45. Alpha and omega until some cunt comments that is.

  46. I don't know what to say that hasn't been already said ... so, I will just leave it at that & look forward to your lurking about (and peppering witty remarks in the comment boxes while you decide what to do next!)

    Peace, love & happiness!!


  47. I finally get a chance to catch up and now this?
    Enjoy the break, I'm sure the muse will return.

  48. Mr Coppens, Mr Coppens, I want you to be the first to know of my imminent return. I hope you will join me in a daring pincer movement so that we can recapture the ether and return it to its previous state of grace. Probably Saturday?

  49. I'm a bit late as usual.
    I hope you will 'rise again' in the same place - or we may not find you.

  50. WHAT THE???... My feelings are hurt. But if you must you must, I guess. don't forget ot come back and leave a forwarding address. We'll leave the porch light on.

  51. eh...december is just around the corner...

    just leave your forwarding address - smile...

  52. WTF? Is it me? I'm starting to take this shit seriously. Hurry back and amuse me some, would you?

  53. I'm glad actually, because I have not been able to visit just lately, you've been 'filtered' out by the 'pornography' filter - I thought you were over here having a wild party but your just being a lazy bastard. Anyway the filter abviously realised he'd mistook you for someone having fun and has let me back in for a look see . . .


    roll on December :)

  54. (*polishes fanfares and unrolls red carpet to give you a warm welcome ceremony in December*)

    You said December, right?

    (*waves goodbye with tiny tears rolling down her cheeks*)

    I'm already missing you. :(

  55. Oh good lord get over yourself. have a nice vacation. then BE BACK.

    I know where winnipeg is, by the way. I will find your cheese ass and HAUL YOU BACK like a naughty puppy. shit yeah i will.

    *sniffs* oh yeah.

  56. Yay! Omega and I really mean it this time.

  57. Aw, please don't leave us HE! Ok, well we'll let you go and have a holiday or blogbatical.

    I admit I've been a bad blogmate lately (owing to distractions in my own life), but I always valued your postings and opinions highly & look forward to continuing to do so, if I may.

  58. Oh crap... I thought you'd be back by now....

    I'm having DTs over here, Donnnnnnn!!!!

  59. I think you and Chris are off vacationing somewhere together, aintcha?

    Hurry back!

  60. ANNDI
    How about I am 16 going on 17?
    If only Rolf hadn't blown the whistle on them..little Nazi bastard!

    I do fiddle a bit but I always seem to end up trying to say too much...gotta learn to edit my edicts!

    My third A! I am taking a break form the pressure of following 100 other blogs and writing..because as much as I'd like to, I can't do both.

    Thank you so very much for your gift.
    I think that you get it because you know that I can't quit..I am hooked!
    I could write 5 posts a day but I love reading other Blogs and fooling around. I'm just tired of trying to be omnipresent.

    Oh I'm still here..just need to dial down and make sure that I don't blow a gasket. If it starts to feel like work instead of fun then something is out of sync..so I'm repairing and fidgeting for a few weeks.

  61. PONITA
    Actually you CAN light a leafy substance rolled in paper because those lava lamps get realy hot..and it's cool to stare at and zone out while you're waiting..and waiting...still waiting..OOH AHH..still waiting...

    Nope not quitting wouldn't be prudent...what would I do with all this crap in me noggin? Ijust chose to step outside the batters box and get a better grip on my bat..er..so to speak.

    Is it OK if I use your first name?
    My egregious oversimplifications are the best way to flush my mental rad...and I love hearing how egregiously I oversimplified my topic du jour...
    otherwise, whatEv-er?

    Now you pop over? You are a sketch and I would love to get to know you better...change that to will get to know you better.

    Welcome! I suppose you noticed my childish alteration of phoenix to phoenis...I suck!

    Anyway, I'm almost good to go and I'll be sure to reciprocate. Thank you for dropping by.

    You have about 10 thousand songs in your head surely you can find another to replace this earworm? I'll be over visiting long before I get my new format nailed down...I'd love to be as prolific as you..especially since you cover such a broad range of subjects..and you always come back to music..I love that.

  62. Happy injun slaughter and yay Omega!

    The British government thanks Canada for staying loyal to the crown.

    $5!? I'll do it!
    Free Cookies!? I am SO there.
    You don't need to bribe me I wouldn't leave you..
    not until they take my keyboard from my cold, dead, hands.

    HAHAHA! Yes it's all just a clever plot to up my ante..pfft!
    How bi-polar am I? Good question..Sybil only had 16 inner personas so that will be my benchmark. A cakewalk!
    16 pffft!
    Omega Oschmega.

    You already leave witty remarks and so technically you are NOT a Lurker.
    Lurkers are Shirkers! I'll be back in a few days..sorry it took so long to reply but once you're oot & aboot in the RW it's easy to goof off.

    I don't need a muse
    to stay amused
    when I have youze
    plus I watch the News
    I can express my views
    wash away the blues
    I could post in twos
    if I so choose
    but then I would lose
    so I'll just cruise

    Heart be still...finally you grace my doorstep. Had I known I would have prepared an exhorbitant peacock of a posting and pulled out all the stops!

    Here I stand a crestfallen, clotheless, Emperor, with nothing to show for my three year campaign to rule the interwebs.
    Damnit anyway!

  64. KAZ
    I always rise again in the same place..the morning wood is the hardest to chop...anyway, I will keep the same address I know how fickle these cybernauts can be and how quickly they forget.

    That's why I will be making a complete nuisance of myuself for the next while so that I am not discarded into the dustbin of history.

    Thank you for leaving the porchlight on..is it one of those yellow bulbs that are supposed to be spectrumatically (not a real word) invisible to the insects.

    I refuse to fade away I fully intend to burn out (thank you neil) and explode in a spectacular super nova.

    By now you are no doubt well aware that I am still prowling and leaving exhaustive diatribes in your comment box..it's what I do.

    How could I leave you behind? You are on the very cusp of a landslide of new exciting relationshippy type posts that will have me squealing with delight. tick tock tick tock..
    plus we Canucks need to represent and have a show of force out here so that all these others don't think that we're wimpy Beaver-lovin' hockey-playin' beer-guzzling maple syrup-slurpin' weenies!

    My dearest Z, I am dreadfully embarrased to be so unpornographically calibrated..

    I simply must raise the bar by lowering my standards. How pedestrian of me to be so bland and fully clothed..imagine?
    In this day and age?
    xx oo

  65. LENI
    You are so very kind to make such a fuss. As you already know I have not disappeared although I am getting conflicted about toning down my lugubriousness and attempting to become more upbeat and brief.
    Brevity where is thy sting?

    Back in a flash.

    I seem to have gotten over myself and since you are my mentor extrordinaire I always take your counsel to heart. This was not a childish outburst because my Mommy didn't pay enough attention to me when I was a child..it was quite theopposite..I was overindulged and that is why I have this embellished sense of...

    oh, I see what you meant.


    Put that away..You're omegas are no good here.

    Ditto. I know that Yoda said, :There is no trying do or do not but out here I had to learn through trial and error..over three years...that this is no place for anyone with a penchant for having a Sally Fieldian complex of having people really really like them.

    If I write something that registers great but if it is unremarkable and dissolves into the ether whatever.

    The point is that I got the stupid thing out of my head and it's somebody else's problem now.

    Thank you for forgiving my insensitivity the other day and you can rest assured that I will be taxing the balance of your tolerance quotient in the very near future.

    You are so sweet to say such nice things...try and remember that the next time that I cross the line!

    I know you are but what am I infinity!

    Hey funny Lady guess what...he's far too busy to hang out with the likes of me nyeh so to heck with him.
    I can make my own fun!

    Actually a vacation would have been a great idea and since he is such a sensitive guy (wussy wuss) I have to try not to make fun of him anymore. So thanks for reminding me to be more tolerant of pussies, I mean sensitive people.


    Omega stamp it infinity
    neener neener nee-ner!

  66. Happy USA Turkey Day Homoescapeons!

    (Hmmm...I wonder if he'll be able to tell when I posted this comment?)

  67. 69 is mine!!!!!
    *hic* ..

  68. Only two days until your return. Yay!!!! :)

  69. you bring out the best in me, donn - tonight Abba, your choice of "Another Town, Another Train" or "Does Your Mother Know"

    actually, I think that it's the latter. . .

    You're so hot, teasing me
    So you're blue but I can't take a chance on a chick like you
    That's something I couldn't do

    There's that look in your eyes
    I can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wild
    Ah, but girl you're only a child

    Well I can dance with you honey
    If you think it's funny
    Does your mother know that you're out?
    And I can chat with you baby
    Flirt a little maybe
    Does your mother know that you're out?

    Take it easy (take it easy)
    Better slow down girl
    That's no way to go
    Does your mother know?
    Take it easy (take it easy)
    Try to cool it girl
    Take it nice and slow
    Does your mother know?

    I can see what you want
    But you seem pretty young to be searching for that kind of fun
    So maybe I'm not the one
    Now you're so cute, I like your style
    And I know what you mean when you give me a flash of that smile (smile)
    But girl you're only a child

    Well I can dance with you honey
    If you think it's funny
    Does your mother know that you're out?


  70. (hey - where did the awards go?)

  71. you changed yer blog and I wish people would stop commenting because I wish to be Omega damn it.

  72. I luv how you keep redesigning the place--always so blog fashion forward!

  73. Donn, I miss you. Commenting just isn't enough. :( Please start blogging again soon - December is a mere (less than) two days away.

    I hope you have something stupendous in store for us!

  74. Donn take ur time...I know exactly wut u mean. Im still on a break and we all need a lil time on our own...some quiet time. I know u will come bak when ur ready again.

    HUGS I miss ya tho!


  75. HE, take it from me, I've gone through my blogging fazes. It's always good to mix it up a bit, to take a break.

    I can't wait to see what December brings.

    Also, that banner at the top of your page is fucking great. Pardon my language.


  77. it is December. . . which means calendars with pretty pictures (and tunes!)(of course). . .

    come and open the windows with me - at my festive place!


  78. Yes, it's December now! (*unrolls red carpet and looks at the landscape...*)


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