Saturday, October 11, 2008


I was at a seminar the other day to learn about how my brain operates. I discovered that I am more ANALytical than Creative. At first I was disturbed by this but after a few days it started to make sense.
I may be an idea guy and an Idealist, but more than anything, I do value assembling and organizing information into a giant pile of data that ultimately overwhelms any inital sense of purpose that I began with. IDEA+LIST=Idealist!

Like most of you, my first foray into Self Discovery and ascertaining a systematic labelling of Personality Orders, was prolly the now ubiquitous ZODIAC SIGN.

Since it is simply dictated by your Birthdate it's easy for people to understand and adopt...
but pffft.

As a Sagitarius I'm supposed to be:
a witty conversationalist, humorous, freedom loving, free-spirited, idealistic, believing, moral,often having a religous streak, righteous, intelligent, intellectual, positive, optimistic, honest, sincere, confident, enterprising, ambitious, devoted to goals, energetic, active, versatile, adventurous, risk-taking, independent, approachable, warm, cheerful, likeable, sympathetic, generous, blah, blah, blah, blah...

and temperamental, impatient, restless, indiscreet, careless, blunt, impulsive, spontaneous & childlike...a fairly broad generalisation, and it pretty much describes most of us at one time or another.

My next self discovery tool was the benchmark gold standard, the FOUR HUMORS which has been tinkered with for Millenia.
This Time Honoured system of putting people in-a-box conveniently narrowed the personality trait possibilities down from the 12 in the Zodiac, to a mere 4 simplistic but obvious choices.
You can either be
(Ridiculously Happy Grinning Idiot),

(Seething Angry Son-Of-A-Bitch Psycho),

(Morbidly Depressed Human Time-Bomb), or

(Emotionless Shut-in Zombie Freak)

..isn't that special?

Since I am so ANALytical, I tried to remember if my new label lined up with my MYERS-BRIGGS archtype..very 80s, remember that one?
You get to be one of 16 combos of the Four you're either some groovy combo of

(E) Extraverted or (I) Introverted
(S) Sensing or (N) Intuitive
(T) Thinking or (F) Feeling
(J) Judging or (P) Perceiving

I think that I was an INTP or an INFP ?

Now if you really want to ANALyze yourself, squeeze into your Napolean costume, tell the News reporter that you are from another planet but that you come in peace, and then be prepared to be assessed using the MMPI or
doesn't that just roll off the tip of your tongue?
The MMPI is one of the most frequently used personality tests used by trained professionals (Shrinks) to assist in identifying your personality structure and psychopathology..
usually right after they take off the big butterfly net and jab you in the ass with something that makes you feel warm, wonderful, and telepathic.

Anyway, the MMPI is just loaded with fancy-schmancy, scientificky-sounding, measurementy-thingamabobs, used to ascertain and grade your levels of:
Hypochondriasis concern with bodily symptoms,
Hysteria awareness of problems and vulnerabilities
Psychopathic Deviate conflict, struggle, anger, respect for society's rules
Paranoia level of trust, suspiciousness, sensitivity
Psychasthenia worry, wnxiety, tension, doubts, obsessiveness
Schizophrenia odd thinking and social alienation
Hypomania level of excitability
Social Introversion people orientation

If you looked like this when they 'caught' you, they'll also check your:
Ego Strength Scale
Over-Controlled Hostility Scale
MacAndrews Alcoholism Scale
MacAndrews Alcoholism Scale Revised
Dominance Scale
Addictions Potential Scale
Addictions Acknowledgement Scale
Social Discomfort Scale
Anxiety Scale
Repression Scale
Marital Distress Scale
check the Tires and clean your windshield.

So as you can see, this self ANALyzing stuff can drive you crazy (although we do not prefer to use that term anymore) so you may feel some side effects...
Side Effects include anxiety, depression, bladder & rectal irritation, changes to apetite, loss 0f memory-concentration-muscle control-nerves-teeth-gums & pride, constipation, diarrhea, fatigue, hair loss or gain, nausea & vomitting, swelling of the ego, delusions of grandeur, invading foreign countries, shooting lawyers, and excessive brain flatulence!

So thank goodness for the old
where I'm just a plain, old, classic, Winter..
what Season (or other label) are you?


  1. I am Aries! That should explain it all!

    The colour test says:
    "Your coloring is crisp and distinctive. Winters are rich and intense in hair and eye color."

    I won't say I am surprised.

    Other tests, I am not going to bother.

    BTW, I always assumed you do not have a head. Having a brain in a non-existing head comes as a surprise.....

  2. Taurus (have been, since birth), INTJ (in the 80s/90s when I was a ground-breaking sizzling-hot corporate-communications-chick); a while later INFP (the corporation made me redundant whilst on maternity leave - bastards). . .

    now, I'm not so sure (dare I "take the tests" and find out?)

  3. i'm a fish.

    in more ways than one..

  4. I think you are being too analytical. You make people laugh, mostly intentionally. That's enough.

  5. I am an Aquarian through and through, an INFP and a Summer. Fit each and everyone to a T. Is that too predictable?

  6. TAMI
    Are all Aries as blunt and forthright as you pretend to be? Why can't you just admit to the rest of the world that you like me in a Sally Fieldian kind of way..
    you really, really, like me.

    Don't you mean that you were an 'E'NTJ when you were "a ground-breaking sizzling-hot corporate-communications-chick"?

    And what, pray tell, would the 'F' stand for in the latter?

    Are you 'fishing' for a rebuttal or a compliment? I have no idea what PISCES are supposed to be like..are you spot on?

    I can only hope that some day soon, people will be laughing 'with' me, instead of at me.

    Nope. Except for the 'I' contention is that the extrovert/introvert aspect varies, like my complexion.
    It's more like E-I E-I D'OH!

    Well done! I am 50 years old and I do not have a clue what my blood type is? The product of my utter FEAR of any medical investigations that might reveal some aberrant cellular activity. I'd rather NOT know until the last minute..since nothing could avert the inevitable anyway, why put the others through that?

    that way I won't worry about it...
    typical male eh?

  7. no. . . have never been extroverted (besides, introverted people are more daring - cos they don't particularly care what anyone else thinks. . .)

    as for feeling, I can't remember that far back (but I suspect it was prolly "thank g*d the redundancy package is a good one"!)(I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and hated office politics with a vengance, so it kinda all worked out. . .)


  8. I rely on the Dr. Marvin Monroe Take Home Personality Test.

    It says I'm a malcontent capable of violent acts against those I perceive to be raping my Civil Liberties and robbing this country blind. It goes on to say that I pose absolutely no threat to society however, because of my almost obsessive tendency to procrastinate. Psychiatrists refuse to prescribe drugs because they don't want to mess with the delicate balance. (Sigh!)

  9. you actually went to a seminar to see how your brain operates? oh, man, poor teacher!

    as usual, i'm laughing my ass off here and my mind is overwhelmed with information...i don't think there is ANYTHING out there, dear donn, that can quite capture the essence of you! you are an original, that's for sure, and i can't, i haven't ever, would not want to meet another you! another deliciously creative, crazy, intellectual, spot-on, rebel you! oh i love coming here...even though it does leave me with a bit of vertigo each time i visit.....

  10. I am also a winter!

    I like what Descartes said: "I think, therefore, I am".

    I've had fortune cookies that were more specific than some personality tests (not to mention, no personality test ever gave me lucky lotto #s or taught me Chinese phrases).

    I've never had any real insights from personality tests; the results are usually either too generalized or conflicting. The conflicting findings are fun, esp ones that label me as both carefree and careful, shy and outgoing!

    It's true: The more I learn, the more I realize that I know nothing at all!

    My fave label: Human; I check the Other box on forms and fill the blank with Human; if I'm across borders, I write American. :)

    Happy Thanksgiving!!!

  11. This Leo says "What a lovely load of labels". May I choose: None of the above? Honestly, I'm not very Leo like. I think I'm a Giraffe, graceful and awkward at the same time. Always reaching for something, usually with thorns on it. Camouflaged nicely, but really having horns and a black tongue. :)))

  12. My zodiac sign is Sagittarius too. You forgot to mention that we're flirty and sexy as can be! ;)

    Remember the other version of the Humors..the extroverts were Otters and Golden Retrievers..Otters were human versions of Tigger who were deleriously 'UP' & 'ON' 24/7 bouncing off the f*cking walls and the Reteivers were slobbering loyal, altrusitic, do-gooders, who would take a bullet for you? Is that what you mean by Extroverts?

    Good ole Monroe..let's call not interfering with tht delicate, chemical, balance, the Monroe Doctrine. There is a good reason why procrastination is a good thing..

    it means that instead of being an impulsive twat like those fanatical, suicide-bombers, it means that you and I are exercising caution and waiting until all of the available data is in before we decide to end the world and exit in a blaze of glory with as many innocent bystanders as possible.
    Well done.

    I apologise for innundating you with superfluous data but once the train starts rolling it's hard to stop...
    these posts are always too long, and crammed with too much information but I need to put it out there for ME to understand where I'm coming from.

    This whole labelling thingamabob is quite weird..I still don't know why we can't accept people for WHO they are instead of what they do?
    I need to stick to my guideline:

    "People don't care how much you know, they want to know how much you care."

    Outstanding. My fave was Marlon Brando's answers in his Army entrance form..
    under RACE he put Human and
    under COLOUR he wrote It Varies!

    All this Nature v. Nurture stuff is interesting though..
    how much of your Genetics Hard Drive writes your personality program and filters all of the Environ'mental' factors?

    I love Giraffes too...especially the reticulated. It's so bizarre that the Romans thought that it was a cross betwixt a Camel & a Leopard?! camelopardalis

    One of the very first bits of Trivia that I could not scrub from my brain was their Blood Pressure 240/170..which I still use to break the ice at a cocktail party.

    Don't even get me strarted on the world's most luscious eyelashes and that long black tongue.

    Dead sexy! Aren't you glad that the Zodiac assures us that we are the biggest flirts in the world. Do you suppose that we are what we read?

    So when we were reforming and tweaking our personalities during out Teens trying to make ourselves more palatable, even downright irresistable, to members of the opposite sex (or not)

    that this Sagitarius Profile Implant gave us an excuse to mesmerize those intimidating 10's who were supposed to be above everybody else's sexualmetric payscale?

  14. Donn,

    Please don't apologize! That's one of the reasons I love your site and come here...for the information and comedic twist and witty reporting's a funny, entertaining Cliff Note version of things I should probably know but am too lazy to read on my own!

    Please, NEVER apologize!


  15. I'm a Virgo -don't believe all the stories about orderly, dull Virgos because... some are crazy, chaotic and very funny ;))-

    The colour test said I'm an autumn girl! -just because my hair is dark? oh ok is that a good reason? lol

    (Fiery, earthy, golden and natural, says there). That sounds cool to me. :))

  16. I'm a feeling sanguine spring capricorn with a healthy side of extraversion and intution.

    But hell, what's in a label except the struggle to explain & understand.

    Great post Donn!! JP/deb

  17. You don't need all those tests when you can ask me...

    You're a card.

  18. Let's hear it for Sagattari-i! Hurrah!

    I'm far too analytical too, but at least console myself I am not as analytical as you HE! (well a gal's gotta retain some mystery - even to herself)

    But then you analyse everything so well and entertainingly. Love your play on the workd idea-list and anal-yse too.

  19. Saggitarians unite! wohoo.

    man this is too much to digest. too many classifications. where is the food loving psychopath in there?


    I am rain. i think.

  20. Well...I guess right now that this was a bit too much for me at the moment. My dear sweet Cay passed away yesterday and I feel like I am in a daze and just not with it.

    Maybe in a day or two...

  21. LOL!
    Okay, this was fun, Winter, Taurus, O negative (universal blood donor-anyone can have my blood in a pinch, but I can't have anyone's but my own)..INFP-Idealist Healer, Air sign with water thingy. My Enneargram keeps changing, not sure why.


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