Wednesday, September 17, 2008

HOMEWRECKER!

The dilapidated House across the street had seen better days.

The man who had built it and raised a family, had died in his living room years ago. It was turned into a duplex and fell into disrepair..easy prey for a hungry Excavatorsaurus Rex.

This morning the E Rex attacked!

As the weakened Duplexicus sat watching the morning traffic, the E Rex inflicted a crippling blow from behind...

then the ferocious Excavatorsaurus Rex reached up and over with it's huge, terrifying, jaws, grabbing the Duplexicus by the head, snapping it's spine...

before dealing a coup de grâce with a vicious strike that penetrated the very heart of the placid beast!

Then the E Rex started to tear off huge chunks and sat down to leisurely devour it.

I felt helpless, but there was nothing that I or anyone else could have done to renovate it. ..I mean resuscitate... the Law of the Urban jungle had prevailed . Nature was taking it's course.

Scavengers came out of nowhere and collected valuable internal organs, like copper, and as soon as it began, it was all over.

Life went on as if nothing had happened...
except now I'll have a view of the River, atleast until Spring when a new Homeosaur arrives.

"Doo Doo Doo

Lookin' out my front door"

31 comments:

  1. And the other good news is that now someone will be able to afford to get a mortgage on it.

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  2. any sign of ty pennington?

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  3. Brilliant narrative and documentation of something old giving way for...nothing.

    Great pix, bud. We can see your house right across the street.

    Now imagine that house being a person deemed expendable like that and replaceable by something much younger, cheaper and available.

    That's the way of the world.

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  4. I wonder if they have as much fun as it looks destroying things? I guess it's one way of getting rid of ones aggressions.

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  5. I'd love such a job!

    Keshi.

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  6. VICUS
    They don't call them mort (death)gages (pledge) for nothing! I met the new owner and next Spring he is going to build a new 2 storey 1,700 sf house @ $200psf...unless the dominos from the financial meltdown in the USA tumble over our much more staid Banking system..
    it's all quite incestuous.

    KATHERINE
    No sign of TY..and if I did see him I would give him some gel and try to do something with his hair.

    WITHIN WITHOUT
    "now I'm runnin' from my house
    'cause my house doesn't please me
    people comin' in, goin' out,
    they don't see me
    now I'm flyin' through the air
    I'm not scared of people all underneath,
    in a heap, askin' how'd we get to here
    from there where our lives had some meaning
    and all the days weren't the same
    we played no games
    and we knew ourselves within
    without"

    JILLIE
    Those two young guys were beside themselves they were having so much fun! Cars were stopping and little boys were pointing and squealing with delight..
    that has to be one of the ultimate 'guy' jobs for sure!

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  7. KESHI
    You snuck in there..No kidding. That would be so much fun! Smash BANG Craaaaash RRRRRRRip Whump Craccccckkkk BOOM
    The operator couldn't stop smiling..he'd prolly do it for free?!

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  8. Did they find Jimmy Hoffa?

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  9. MJ
    No silly! Geraldo found him in Al Capone's vault DUH!

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  10. i thought extreme makeover was taking over!!... what a disappointment :)~

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  11. Awww - poor little duplexicus.

    But how's the view now?

    I would so love a demo job!! What fun! I'd start with my own tin can, of course!

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  12. SWEETS
    I often wonder if the folks who get a new $1,000,000 house on Extreme Makeover put it up for sale the next day and then blow their 'winnings' on beer and lottery tickets.

    ETERNALLY CURIOUS
    I have never seen anyone enjoy their work more than those guys..seriously they were lovin' every minute of it.
    The view is great..what a difference a little breathing room makes...and we should sell ours now that we have a River view!

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  13. Wow! Luv the deconstruction pics! That's real sad about the old man passing away in his house, and it's a little creepy people rented it and it fell into ruin. They should've turned it into a haunted house for Halloween then tear it down afterwards!

    Hopefully, your new neighbor is a swell fella. And how nice of him to build his home by the river, so it can become a really large, expensive sandbag when the floods come!

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  14. Wouldn't it be nice to keep that open and nothing new built? You nearly have water front property now! Good for you, Don.

    PS. Those are awesome pictures!

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  15. i love water. till they flood ie.

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  16. Ha! Brilliant to get those lyrics in there. You've been waitin' to do that for a while, haven't you?

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  17. What is it that you are writing lyrics all over the place?

    And why don't you ever invite me to visit you?

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  18. Were you watching with your son while this happened and describing it the way you described it to us? I imagined that and thought it was so endearing. (insert sappy lovey dovey smiley here)

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  19. So now they can make way for Walmart, eh?

    I left you an award on my blog...

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  20. Good that there wasn't an adjacent house and good that you don't live in an adjacent house, because the E-rex does not attack softly - as you documented. Once when the house next to us was torn down I suddenly had a view on the street in my kitchen, but you got a view of the river ! Enjoy ! (wow, I am so good in seeing the good things in life ;-)

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  21. And I'd like it even more if the house was Bin Laden's.

    hang on a sec, does he even hv a house!

    Keshi.

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  22. Let me guess.....all things considered, this house was perfectly Ok, perhaps needing a small (and much less expensive) rehabilitation, in order to provide a perfectly adequate home to a loving family. Only, NOOOOOOO, the lot was considered to be worth more than the building, and the new owner wants to build a McMansion on it large enough to house five families, only it will only house one, while sucking up enough energy and resources to take care of five families.

    I'm installing a phalanxe of pulse cannons on the periphery of my property which will activate upon my death, exterminating any such creature that dares think it's going to lay waste to this loving and adequate structure which sheltered me during MY life. And those same cannons will defend any family that I leave this shelter to.........

    Shit! I woke up.........sigh.......such dreams are these....

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  23. EROSWINGS
    It is a little creepy and I know something even creepier about it but I can't divulge it out here.
    I'm torn on gentrification..

    it's nice to see fresh blood and new hope but it sucks when the result makes it harder for average working families to be able to afford owning a home.

    Our market is nothing like the States but the avergae home in Whateverpeg is still considered overpriced by about $74,000.

    CATSCRATCH
    We have a beautiful walkway on the river, that I will be able to see now, but if the river banks keep eroding at their present rate, the river will be up to my front steps in about 50 years...
    but I'll be long gone.

    MISTI
    We have a huge diversion dike that takes the Red River around the city, oddly enough it's called the floodway, pretty creative eh?
    Since this was the bottom of a Glacier and only a few hundred feet above sea level, flooding was a real problem..
    the last big one was in 97...
    aren't you sorry you asked?

    WW
    I just knew that someday I'd find the right post to drop it in.

    ANNA
    Unfortunately it went down while he was in school so I had to go through it with my pictures..he loved it.

    RANDOM CHICK
    Yippee! I simply don't have a thing to wear to the banquet...I'll be right over to yoink it!
    Thanking you in advance..hey wait a minute, it's a good thing right?
    It's not the Myopic Doofuss of the Year Award?

    HILDEGARDE
    Actually the two houses on either side are prime candidates and I have no idea how they can remove them without ours sliding over into the huge hole left behind?
    Any suggestions?

    KESHI
    HA! No Osama Been Hidin lives in Pakistan despite having a $25M bounty on his head. I suppose that there are no takers because you won't live long enough to spend it..atleast in Pakistan.

    MICHAEL
    Hold yer horses..the basement flooded, the foundation was compromised, and it started to list toom much to list, geddit?

    It was condemned.
    Nobody wants to build McMansions here because in this neighbourhood nobody is keeping up with the jones..they're not even keeping up to me?

    A man's home IS his castle and once a King always a King..once a Knight, is enough.

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  24. while a man's home may well be his castle...and a king may always be a king....I am not willing to concede one ia knight is enough.

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  25. lol... now thats an interesting post!

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  26. KATHERINE
    Congratulations, you have just captured the hearts and minds of every man reading these comments.

    ANGEL
    It would be hard for any 'guy' to not break out in a silly grin (and be completely jealous) while watching some other guy get to destroy an entire house with a huge, mechanical, extension of his penis.
    The ultimate phallic symbol.
    ((ROAR))

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  27. Haven't they heard of 'refurbishment'?

    I'd have had it!

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  28. Man, I was gonna squat there after I went refugee...great pics, really good eye. I love the one with the ERex maw seen through the window.

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  29. Do you men wear special garb for such occasions when heavy machinery and the smell of power and diesel fills the air?

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  30. rminds me of irobot...the demolition bot. hemm...isnt it sad to see things go down and wrecked. :(

    well...the river shud b good for a while :D

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  31. I've always thought backhoes looked like dinosaurs, too. It makes me sad to see a house demolished, though.

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