Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Déjà vu all over again

by LORD TENNISANYONE



For those of you unfamiliar with my circumstances I am enjoying a second kick at the cat so to speak and learning about your world in the 21st Century.

I had the misfortune of becoming separated from my closest friend Charlie Darwin during a mishap at Sea. My head became lodged in the Antarctic ice fields and was subsequently discovered and cryogenically preserved..

unfortunately next to that tedious Disney fellow, most unpleasant.

To make a long story short I am convalescing here in the Colonies with a smashingly peculiar chap by the name of Donn.


Like my host I have become quite enamoured with the Telly and this evening we watched yet another educational program on the History Channel, which of course is my favorite.

Tonight's televisual feast was part 4 of Tony Robinson's


Many of you might recognise Tony Robinson as Baldrick on that delightfully wicked Black Adder series...
one of my absolute favorites!


Tonight's episode was Have I Got Noose For You and it was a brilliant recounting of the Motherland's attempts to deal with the hordes of great unwashed Commoners from the countryside who so rudely stampeded into London in order to work in the factories as the Industrial Revolution went into high gear. The city became a sullied, bloody, shambles and it wasn't safe for members of the ruling class to walk the bloody streets.


Back 1829 Sir Robert (Bobby) Peel created a civilian Police service for our protection to manage the thieves, scoundrels and hooligans that bred amongst the squalor of the unruly, impoverished, working class...poor miserable bastards had a hell of a time.

The constables became affectionately known as Peelers & Bobbies. What with all the nasty revolution business in France and America one can never be too careful now can one?


The other peculiar notion that evolved was the invention of imprisoning convicts in lieu of hanging them. You see up until then the vast majority of Crimes were punished by frequent public hangings, which, I might add, the mobs seemed to thoroughly enjoy, or by shipping the sods and scoundrels off to the bloody godforsaken Colonies.
Before a Police Force was invented FEAR was the Government's main weapon.

Even the stately court rooms with the elevated seating for the Jury and the Judge who was outfitted in those outrageous poncy costumes & ridiculous wigs, were designed to strike terror into the souls of the defendents.


However, Voltaire, Locke and especially that upstart Jeremy Bloody Bentham, started going on about modern rehabilitation for offenders!

Apparently Bentham is still preserved in a wooden, bloody, dresser in University College London..
bloody showoff!


Now this was of particular interest to Donn because Canada is presently engaged in a Federal Election that has the entire country sliding into a somnambulistic torpor...

My Word, the Canucks are too mesmorized by the garish political pageantry to the South in the USA. Not only do women get to vote, now they can even run for President..or Vice President and just wait a few weeks before they become President.

This week in Canada the reigning Conservative Party led by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, the only member allowed to actually speak to the media, announced that they will abolish the almost universally despised Young Offenders Act which most people perceive as a collossal failure of biblical proportions.

He vows to bring Justice into the Legal System and return to the halcyon days of processing and incarcerating violent young offenders like any other bloody criminal. The general public has become exasperrated by the kid-glove treatment of the violent little twats, who for several decades now, have been anonymously shuffled through the revolving doors of a slap on the wrist legal system...and a stern warning of and don't do it again!

Criminal gangs use this gaping loophole to encourage and force the teflon kiddie-criminals to commit serious offences for them. Naturally I pointed out that products of hardscrabble broken Families burdened by multi-generational Poverty andfailure to procure Educations are largely to blame for their abysmal predicament.


So apparently the quaint notion of reforming violent criminals (of any age) has come full circle. Donn believes that this hot button issue may actually secure a Conservative Majority a few weeks from now...they are leading in the polls.


Crime maybe 5th on the list of issues lead by the Economy, Environment pffft yeah right as if, Healthcare, and Afghanistan, but sweet sweet revenge is a universal crowd pleaser and an easy avenue for the working class to vent their frustration and lash out.


Isn't it peculiar that after 200 years Jeremy Bloody Bentham's peculiar notion that prisoners of any age can be rehabilitated and re-enter society may be coming to an end...is the return of the Death Penalty far behind?

Plus Ça Change Plus C'Est La Même Chose.

17 comments:

  1. i left you a little something on my blog
    http://charlene-in-ar.blogspot.com/2008/09/new-award-and-new-to-me-blog.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. How much do ya charge for a good hard shag?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wasn't Walt Disney frozen with Donald Duck so he'd have something to eat when he wakes up?

    Funnily enough, we used to have a Crimewatch type show hosted by Shaw Taylor whose catchphrase was "Keep 'em peeled."

    I have just realised that keeping one's eyes "peeled" derives from Robert Peel's all-watching Police force.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yep - away with the YOA. Seriously. Those little shites need to be taught a lesson. They not get away with murder (literally). I'm all for the death pentalty - but I'd like to play god and decide who gets it and who doesn't. Otherwise it's just no fun at all.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lord T, could you lend Donnnnn your codpiece as I would very much like to see him model it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yah, the whole imprisoning thing is way out of hand. If they are doomed to die they should go straight to the gallo from the courtroom.

    Palin is hawt in the picture. Bet Lord Tennisanyone got a woody. Bet she'd throw some serious keggers in the White House if she ended up Prez.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Canada is having an election? I didn't know you did that sorta thing. Seriously, Canada's got a really bad pr problem. You people need to speak up or blow up something or invade the US.

    Hm... invade the US... that might work. I don't think anyone would really care, so why not do that? Get some positive PR, have the world notice you... fear can be a good thing if it is used constructively. And most of our states already have the death penalty... less work for the Conservatives. They can spend more time in our Virgin Islands (unless they get sold to Richard Branson) working on their tans.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Welcome back, Lord Tennisanyone. Where ya been?

    For a guy whose head has been frozen for centuries, you sure have good insight into the modern world and its problems.

    But you are in dire need of a spellchecker.

    And it's that same PM Harper who was strangely silent a while back when a young guy was decapitated in the back of a bus. He was here for a photo op and refused to comment on it.

    Yep, he's going to win a majority because of his promise to abolish the YOA, which he'll never do anyway.

    Now obey Mistress MJ and hand over your codpiece to Donnnnnn. You two actually look quite alike and she wears green shorts over her head, so she won't know the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  9. where I went to college, we had a Jeremy Bentham in a box!

    ReplyDelete
  10. C
    You are most generous. I'm glad that we met out here..funny how people stumble upon each other at opportune moments..especially out here where there are 14 million blogs to choose from.


    SNAKE
    At my age it is free but there is no guarantee that I will remain conscious during the main event.

    GEOFF
    Don'tcha just love those little lightbulb moments...
    I would die a happy man if I had one each and every day.

    ELIZABETH
    Gadzooks Donn was right..trashing that terrible piece of legislation will get a lot of votes..we know that we can't change a lot of issues but by gawd atleast we can make our streets safer! Would you put the little black cloth on top of your judges wig or do the thumbs down thingy like Caesar?

    MJ
    Get thee to a Funnery! Have you no shame woman? Wait a second Donn's talking..I'm commenting what do you want?..what?..WHAT?
    MJ, Donn says that he'll consider it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. SCRATCHY
    My guess is that it's photoshopped and btw I found a suh-weet nekked one with huge gazongas but decided against using it because I felt that it would influence too many men to vote for her.

    LAURA ELIZABETH
    What! Are youtelling me that Americans don't know stuff about Canada? Since when?

    Have a look at Presidential contender Gov Mike Huckleberry congratulate Canada on having a Parliament building made out of Ice.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfSN4fnXwKM

    WINKY
    Son,
    you can take your spellchecker and *&#@ it up your %#$@$ *&^%# and then you can %$#@* your &%^#$@ and go &%#$@ yourself!

    VIEW
    You saw Bentham's Box! Seriously? Isn't that creepy? How many times has his body been stolen and brought into the dorms for parties?

    ReplyDelete
  12. oy... politics sucks yes?

    here in SA our president was forced to resign last year... it's just ridiculous...

    i
    hate
    politics!

    but Tony Robinson ahhhh now him i heart :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Your Lordship , The Beast is campaigning to bring back public boiling as the preferred method of dispatching the criminal classes
    Its all Good clean family fun :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh - I'd say "off with their heads". (only fitting)

    You have an award awaiting you on my blog...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Fantastic posting HE - one of your finest yet! I am in awe of your photo-doctoring skills (the next thing on my list to master!)

    I never knew you were friends with ol' monkey boy Darwin! You realise he is called Richard Dawkins in this life if y'ever want to meet him...?

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  16. but sweet sweet revenge is a universal crowd pleaser and an easy avenue for the working class to vent their frustration and lash out.
    "Too right, grab your torch and pitch forks...we're going for a roasting!" Said in Shrek tone of voice!!
    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  17. Pam Opticon8:17 AM

    I can see you from here.

    ReplyDelete

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